Page 11 of Lasso Lovebirds (Rainbow Ranch #4)

priscilla

After Sky left, I stood in my room, trying to reason with myself. Sunlight poured in, warming the quilt on my bed. I set my hat to the side, spread out, and stared at the ceiling as my mind spiraled.

That kiss had been something else. That kiss had awakened a deep, deep longing inside of me, going against all the rules I'd set for myself.

I told myself I wouldn't kiss them, I wouldn't pursue them.

And yet, here I was doing the exact thing I said I wouldn't. It certainly didn't help that I'd spent time getting to know them this entire week.

And because of it, I'd had more than a few sessions with myself to satiate the lust they had drawn up.

Why couldn't these things be easy? Why couldn't relationships always work out?

At the end of the day, underneath the strong exterior I built, I was still a hopeless romantic.

I still yearned to be loved, to be wanted.

I yearned to be taken care of. And after spending years with someone who never appreciated me the way I should've been, it’d been so much easier to lock my heart inside a bullpen than to pursue anyone who might make me happy.

Sky was changing that.

Change was scary.

But, aside from all of that, they were right. I needed to talk to Beau. We needed to figure out what this was going to be. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt our friendship.

I didn't want to hurt him, but I also felt the need to hit that man upside the head. What the hell was he thinking? What was he gonna do? I needed to know what the fuck we were going to do.

How would he feel about me also being interested in Sky?

I let out a long groan and sat up, smoothing my hands over my hair.

It was about damn time we figured this out.

I wasn't going to go another day without understanding how Beau felt about me, and how he felt about this entire situation.

No more pretending.

It was time to rip the Band-Aid off.

I jumped up and snatched my hat, placing it and rolling my shoulders. I scowled as I stormed out of my room, straight across the house and past the kitchen, earning a couple curious glances from Boone and Winnie.

“Where the hell are you going all tensed up?” Winnie called.

“To deal with a man ,” I seethed.

The closer I got to his office, the angrier I got. Why in the hell had we been dancing around each other for so long? Was I not good enough for him? Was that it?

The office door was open. Beau was sitting at his desk staring at his computer like he was looking at a thousand ghosts. He looked up, his eyes widening as I stepped inside, shut the door behind me, and twisted the lock.

“We need to talk,” I snapped.

I expected him to argue, but all he did was nod, blowing out a long breath. “I think we do as well.”

At some point, he’d put on his mask. He mostly saved it for the rodeo, but occasionally would put it on around the ranch.

I marched across the office and planted my palms on the desk, leaning forward to look him deep in his eyes.

My heart skipped a beat the closer I got, every part of me craving him.

God, what was it about Beau? What was it about him that drove me so crazy?

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“We're talking.”

I snorted. Dammit. “You know that's not what I mean. What are we doing?”

The corner of his mouth tugged. “You're gonna have to be more specific.”

“Quit playing with me,” I snapped. I closed my eyes for a second, searching for patience, and when I opened them, he was standing too.

He leaned in, his face just a couple of inches from mine.

“I am not good enough for you,” he whispered. “I don't think I'm good enough for Sky. And yet I can't get either one of you out of my head. I've been dreaming about you for years, but I haven't done anything about it until now.”

“Until now?”

He leaned forward, closing the distance between us. Shock rolled through me as his mouth pressed against mine, and I found myself tumbling into a kiss for the second time today.

This kiss was different. While the kiss with Sky was loaded with everything new and bright and beautiful, this kiss carried the weight of years of yearning.

Years of dreaming that we'd one day cross this line, that we would find a way together.

This was a kiss that I've been wanting since I was a teenager.

It was a kiss with someone that knew me almost as well as I knew myself.

My fingers curled into the smooth linen of his button-down, and I yanked him forward. Our kiss deepened, a soft groan leaving me.

He cupped my face, letting out the softest whimper.

I loved a tough man who wasn’t afraid to whimper.

As we drew back, we were breathless, and a fire was lit that would surely burn us all.

“I need more,” I whispered.

“I want more,” he answered. “Anything you want. Anything , Priscilla.”

I searched his sweet brown eyes. My head was spinning.

We needed to think about this. We needed to think through everything . What about Sky? What about what would happen if we hooked up and it didn't work out? What then?

I drew back and turned away, planting my hands on my hips as I tried to reason with myself. This was the exact kind of situation I’d been trying to avoid, and yet here I was, going for it anyway.

Dammit. Damn it all to hell and back.

“Priscilla,” he whispered. “Please look at me.”

My god, I’d just kissed Beau. I'd kissed Sky! Was I losing it?

Why did it feel so damn right?

I heard him come around the desk behind me, his presence inching closer. His arms slid around me and he pulled me against him.

And he hugged me.

That was it. His arms were strong, his body a wall I could fully melt into. His touch wasn’t sexual, wasn’t flirtatious—it was just him. Holding me.

My eyes stung. It’d been a long time since I’d been held.

“I don’t want to screw this up,” I whispered.

“Me neither,” he murmured. “It’s scary. But I’ve never had a good thing happen to me in my life that wasn’t.”

I blinked back tears. He was right, though.

All the scariest decisions I’d made were the ones that worked out for the better.

The decision to leave Oklahoma and go to college, getting a degree I wasn’t sure was even right for me.

Working my ass off to make enough money to build up savings.

Meeting someone that ended up being toxic and then finding the will to actually leave him.

All of that had been scary.

But this?

This was a whole different level of scary. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, my chest squeezing as I let my nerves take over, giving into the panic for just a few seconds. All while he held me through it. Patient. Strong. Kind.

“Whatever you need from me,” he murmured. “I don’t care what it is, Pris. Whatever you need from me, you can have.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I just need you to keep doing this for a moment.”

He let out a gentle hum, his arms tightening just enough to make me feel even safer. I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. Counting to three.

And past the clouds of fear, there were rays of hope. Sparkling bright, shining right on the desires I’d held in my heart for so long that they were covered in dust and cobwebs.

“I don’t want a casual relationship,” I finally said. “I want to be loved. I want to be cared for. I want to love and care for the ones I’m with, too. And there’s not a single sane soul in the world who learns that about me and stays.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Then you’ve lost your mind.”

Beau let out a soft snort. “Pris, I’ve been losing my mind about you for years.”

My heart galloped in my chest. “I want Sky too.”

“We both do,” he said bluntly.

“So then we would be a trio . . .”

“Yes,” he said. “We would be.”

“And when they leave?”

“I don’t want them to leave,” he admitted softly. “But if they do, then we’ll cross that bridge when it comes. And we’ll still have each other.”

Finally, I turned around in his arms, resting my palms on his chest and looking up at him. “Beau . . .” I whispered. “Are you sure? Everyone will know.”

He swallowed hard. “I know. I want you, Pris. I’ve wanted you for years, but I just haven’t pursued you because I didn’t want to be that guy.”

I blew out a breath, my head tilting as I studied him closely. “What guy ? My boss?”

“Yeah,” he said.

I scowled at him. “You’re a good man, Beau Adams. A good boss, too, even though I give you a hard time about it. And while I understand why you never crossed this line before now, I wish you would have.”

He pressed his forehead to mine, his eyes closing. “Me too.”

“So . . . what are we going to do about it?”

He leaned back, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. “What do you want to do about it? You already know I’d get on my knees for you.”

My brows shot up. Sometimes, I felt like an open book around this man. “Oh would you, now?”

“I would.” He straightened his spine, a smirk tugging. “Right now.”

A few days of pure lust hit me like a freight train. “Beau . . .”

“I can take a break,” he whispered, swallowing hard.

As crazy as it was, I wanted him to. “I’ll meet you in your bedroom. Thirty minutes. Okay?”

He nodded slowly. “I’ll be there.”

I took a step back from him, and then another, until I felt the door knob behind me. “Are you sure?”

Beau smiled. “I’ll see you in thirty minutes, Pris. In my room.”

Thirty minutes.

Just enough time for me to wonder if I’d lost my damn mind.