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16

SIERRA

S itting at the desk in my dorm room, I sing along with the song playing as I work on my paper. It’s a dry, boring paper, but I’m in an exceptionally good mood, so I don’t mind. Things with Slater have been amazing these past few weeks, and we’ve grown even closer than before. The couple of calls I made to my brother have gone unanswered. It hurts, of course, but like Slater said, it is Derek’s loss. I’m just trying to find a way to cope with it.

As I finish the last paragraph on my paper, I smile. Slater told me he’d take me somewhere special tonight if I finished my paper. I type out a quick text, telling him I finished, so I expect something amazing tonight. Smiling to myself as I hit send. I stand up, stretch my back, and walk around the dorm room, trying to get some blood flowing into my body again. As I do, a knock sounds at the door. My heart jumps into my throat, and I giggle, thinking it’s Slater on the other side of the door. I’m not expecting him, but maybe he wanted to surprise me.

Bounding over the clothes on the floor, I throw the door open and pause, the excitement crackling inside of me quickly fizzling out. The smile slides off my face like melting ice cream, and I fold my arms over my chest.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“Nice to see you too, sis.”

“It’s been weeks. And you haven’t returned any of my calls or texts. Am I supposed to be turning somersaults now that you’re finally at my door?”

“I don’t expect anything,” he says. “I was just hoping we could talk.”

“You made it pretty clear the last time we spoke there wasn’t much to talk about,” I reply. “You even hired somebody else to cat-sit for you.”

He sighs. “Can I come in?”

Gritting my teeth, I somehow manage to keep from rolling my eyes and stand aside, letting him into my dorm room and praising myself for my self-restraint. He walks in and looks around with a look of distaste on his face. My brother is something of a neat freak, so seeing the general disarray of my room is clearly off-putting to him. Not that I care right now.

He perches on the edge of the chair I just vacated and looks at me, clearly waiting for me to sit down. This time, I don’t bother trying to keep from sighing as I sit down on my bed and fix my brother with a dead-eyed stare. His expression and tone make it seem like he’s trying to extend an olive branch, and I suppose I should be glad for that. I miss my brother. This is the longest we’ve gone without speaking. But I’m still really pissed about the way he treated me.

“So? What is there to talk about, Derek?”

His expression is somewhat abashed, and I can see the light of regret on his face. Derek clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair.

“I’ve done a lot of thinking about it all, and I want to apologize to you, Sierra,” he says. “The way I reacted to what happened, it was wrong. I know you’re a grown woman. You’re an intelligent and sensible woman. I know you’re capable of making your own decisions. And I certainly have no right to tell you who you can and can’t be with. I’m sorry for blowing up on you. It was just … surprising to find you with Slater.”

As much as I want to light him up and scream all the things I didn’t say the last time we were in the same room, his apology sounds sincere, and it takes the wind out of my sails. It takes the heat out of my anger. I’ve always had a hard time staying mad at Derek, and on those rare occasions when he’s offered an apology, it’s even harder.

“I appreciate you saying that,” I tell him. “And I’m sorry for going off on you like I did.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, sis. I acted like an idiot. You were right to get mad at me,” he replies. “And I’m also sorry for the things I said?—”

“You mean about my daddy issues?”

A sheepish smile touched his lips. “Yeah. About your daddy issues. I’m sorry. That was way out of bounds. It was a?—”

“Cheap shot?”

“Yeah. It was a cheap shot. And you didn’t deserve that.”

“No, I didn’t,” I say. “But thank you for saying so.”

A moment of silence passes between us, and the thick fog of tension that marked his entry into my dorm room begins to lift, allowing the sunshine to filter through once more.

“Are we good?” he asks.

“Yeah. We’re good.”

“I’m glad.”

“How long are you back for?” I ask.

“Couple of weeks,” he replies. “Then I’ll be overseas for a few months to finish the lecture series.”

“And after that?”

He shrugs. “To be determined.”

His words strike a note of alarm inside of me. I’ve never been without my big brother, and the thought of him moving overseas fills me with a sense of dread. I mean, if it’s a good opportunity, of course, I’m excited for him. But the thought of not having my big brother around is a bitter pill to swallow.

“Are you thinking of going over permanently?” I ask.

“They haven’t offered me a permanent post yet.”

“But if they did?”

“It’s something I’d have to think about.”

“Wow,” I say. “That … I mean, I’m happy for you and proud of you, of course?—”

“I know. We’ve lived our whole lives within five miles of each other. The idea of being thousands of miles away is tough.”

“It is. But if you love it over there?—”

“I do.”

“And if it’s a good opportunity?—”

“It is. Or it would be if they offer me the post.”

“It would be hard, but if that’s where your heart leads you, then I support you one hundred percent,” I tell him.

“I appreciate that,” he says. “And it’s taken me a little while to come around, but I see now that I need to support you no matter where your heart leads you.”

“Thank you, Derek,” I reply. “Speaking of which?—”

“Yeah, I talked to Slater already. We’re good.”

“Good. I’m glad,” I reply. “Hey, why don’t you come out with us tonight? I think we’re just going to dinner, but why don’t you come with us?”

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” I say. “We’ve only got a couple of weeks with you before you head back, so let’s all go hang out and have a good time.”

“Yeah?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

He smiles. “Thanks, sis. I’d love to.”

“Great. Good. I’m glad.”

“Me too.”

I get off the bed and give my brother a big hug. He returns the hug, and just like that, all the cracks and fissures in our relationship have been mended. This fills my heart with joy.

“So, you interested in hanging out with Monty when I go back?” he asks. “I don’t think he likes the girl I hired.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He keeps peeing on her shoes.”

“Aww, he does miss me.”

“So, is that a yes?”

I laugh. “It’s a yes. I’d love to.”

“Thank you, sis.”

“You’re welcome.”

He looks up at me. “You seem happy.”

“I am. I really am.”

“That’s good. Then I’m happy for you, both of you.”

“Thank you, Derek. That means the world to me.”

I smile wide as all the pieces fall into place, and all is suddenly right with the world again.