Page 62

ADRIAN

ONE YEAR LATER

“ C atch.” I tossed the soft vinyl mask in Casper’s direction and waited for it to land. He eyed it for a moment before looking up at me. “They were all out of your favorite ghost. Figured it was close enough.” I shrugged.

He didn’t say anything, and I held my breath. Never knew when one of his hissy fits would rear its ugly head but it always started like this. A long moment of quiet, followed by a teenage-sized tantrum.

“It’s perfect.” He grinned, scooping it off his lap and dropping the hood over his head before staring back at me through the slits of the 90s’ style Scream face. It was hard to find in the off season but the kid deserved something with how patient he’d been over the last year.

The fact he couldn’t feel me digging around his spine didn’t mean that shit was any less uncomfortable. Especially all the sitting still. Which was like hell for an under-medicated hyperactive. But I wasn’t about to force more drugs down his throat. Not when he was finally starting to trust me.

All the patients were. And it wasn’t because of my bedside manner.

It was because I was honest with them. I didn’t tell them it wasn’t gonna hurt when we both knew damn well it would.

I didn’t make promises everyone knew I couldn’t keep.

What I did do was give ?em a choice. Me or them .

Hare and Burke. And somehow I turned into the lesser evil.

Despite what Marisela might tell ya, I wasn’t a bad guy. I just did bad things. When it suited me.

I positioned myself behind my desk and glanced down at the computer screen. At another email left unanswered. She was avoiding me. Pretending like I didn’t exist.

Good Morning Little Lamb,

Do you miss me yet? Do you think about me when he’s flopping on top of you like a fish trying to find land? Do you close your eyes and wish it were me instead?

Yours,

A

I would love to say I regretted it. That I felt some sort of guilt for the way things turned out that night. But I didn’t. I didn’t regret a single moment I spent with the woman.

Did that mean I had more of my father’s blood running through my veins than either of us would like to admit? Maybe, but I did not care.

Because this wasn’t about him. It was about me. He brandished his cruelty on numerous women and I only wanted one.

It was the sort of justification that came with the sociopathy I was more than self-aware enough to recognize. Diagnose but not treat. Because it was what motivated me. The need to have her no matter the cost to anyone else. Even her.

The fact that she severed my toe and took it with her just made it that much better. Like I said, I wanted her to have a piece of me with her always.

I wiggled the phantom appendage around in my shoe. A little reminder that she was always with me too. That she cared enough to tie off the end with some dental floss to ensure I didn’t bleed out. It wasn’t likely but she didn’t know that.

Before I knew what I was doing, my fingers were flying across the keys again.

Another email. Reassurance that I was here.

That I hadn’t forgotten about her and neither had my cock.

Nothing could compare. I’d thought about it.

Considered my options. But my appetites had been spoiled.

Once you had your first taste of fillet mignon, a McDonald’s cheeseburger just wouldn’t do.

That was the problem when it came to this woman. I wasn’t impatient. Or impulsive. But I was crazed.

I’ll take your silence as a yes. That’s okay. Because I think about you too. Every time I’m alone in my bed, my hand grabbing the base of my cock and tugging hard. I can still feel you there, you know. Gripping me so tight it’s almost like you don’t want to let me go.

Yours,

A

I had no doubt this message would go unanswered.

Just like all the texts she’d left on read and the letters that had been returned to sender.

Point was, she did read them. She was curious enough to open them.

That wasn’t rejection. It was stubbornness, pure and simple.

And I could work with stubbornness. It was one of my favorite things about her after all.

I didn’t have to look up from the screen to know Casper was watching me.

Most would find it creepy. How interested he was in everyone else’s business.

I called it observant. It was useful too.

Nothing went on inside these walls without this kid knowing about it.

And he was quick to pass that information on to me. For a price.

The mask was the latest reparation. In a long list of toys and treats and the occasional weapon. Shit I was sure he traded for booze and pills as much as he kept ?em for himself. Not that I gave a damn what he did with the goods after they exchanged hands. Everyone was privy to their secrets.

I sure as hell had my own .

“She still ghosting ya, Lambo?”

Okay, maybe I didn’t.

I quirked a brow at the nickname. Which was honestly tame compared to the rest. “Who?”

“The princess with the nice tits?” He lifted a shoulder and the black-and-white mask bounced with the sudden movement.

I pushed back in my desk chair and steepled my hands. “How do you know what her tits look like, Markov?” I grunted between clenched teeth. It wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned them.

“Just assuming. You don’t seem like the type to simp over a chick who didn’t at least have nice tits.”

He was lying. But I wasn’t about to call him out. It meant he feared me enough to lie. Sure, trust and respect were great. But fear was earned too. It also held a lot more weight. Not everyone had someone they could trust or respect. But everyone had something they feared. Even me.