Page 21

It’s four in the morning, and I haven’t been able to sleep a wink. The guys thoroughly exhausted me, but the second I closed my eyes, all tiredness vanished, leaving me to stare at the inside of my eyelids while the guys sleep peacefully on either side of me.

The room the guys and I claimed to sleep in for the weekend is on the second floor, a floor away from where my birth parents’ bedroom is. Or well, was. I haven’t been able to stomach going up there, my heart not ready to open that door. Maybe one day I’ll be ready, but this weekend definitely isn’t it.

Eventually, if I decide fully to keep the house, I may want to claim the third floor as my own and I’ll need to go in there then. But that’s an idea far off. I’m not ready to make those kinds of decisions now. I’m more than happy here in this room.

The walls are a soothing pale green, framed by white trim, and a large picture window overlooks the backyard of the house. The bed itself is larger than anything I’ve ever seen in the human sector, with room to add at least four more mates if I had them. Or well, three mates and a snoring Aero. He’s currently stretched out across the foot of the bed, his wings hanging off the end, not that it seems to bother him.

A door off to the left leads into a bathroom fit for a king. Or should I say a queen? Multiple sinks rest upon a vanity, and the shower has the same theme with multiple shower heads. At the back, there’s a massive walk-in closet, something I’d never dream of being able to fill in my lifetime. Hell, I don’t even know how someone can own so many pieces of clothing. Feels like a waste if you ask me.

All in all, it feels like this room, or guest room as I’m thinking it is, was designed to host someone with multiple mates. It would make sense for the larger-than-normal size everything seems to be.

My thoughts drift from the room back to the book long forgotten in the living room. It’s already been deduced that Aero is not my transmutation form. So something went awry when I was attempting to shift in class. There has to be an answer, and I know, deep down, that it’s written somewhere in the tome my birth dad left for me.

Carefully, so as not to disturb my sleeping mates and my passed out Pegasus, I climb out of bed, tiptoeing across the floor to the door. Luckily, everyone stays asleep as I venture out into the hallway and make my way downstairs, my mind focused solely on getting the answer I’m looking for. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until I do.

The lamp above the tome flares to life as I click it on, illuminating the space. Grabbing the discarded blanket from the couch, I curl up in the chair, placing the book on my lap. Inside the front cover, I pull out the letter written in my birth father’s script, running my eyes over the words once again.

Every written line hits me just as hard as it did the first time, but the tears don’t fall. Not like they did. They cling to my lashes, but I blink them back, refusing to let me flood my face. If I fall into that hole again, I won’t be able to climb out and find the answers I so desperately need.

One line stands out amongst the rest, drawing question marks in my head.

Keep your soul spirit close and know that we love you with all our hearts.

Soul spirit. It could be just about anything, but for some unexplained reason, the words resound deep in my heart.

Could this be what I’m looking for? It seems far-fetched given I have no clue what it is, but there’s only one way to find out.

After checking the contents, I thumb through the pages until I come to the part about soul spirits. Shockingly, it’s practically at the beginning of the book, so it has to be important. Right?

Again, Soul Spirit heads the page in bold lettering, and I take a deep breath, diving into the following text.

Soul spirits are a tricky, tricky thing, for they differ for every curiomancer. But know this, every curiomancer has one. Even you, my dear daughter.

As you’re reading this, you may not have yours yet, or maybe you do, and you just don’t know it.

It’s only a matter of time before your soul spirit emerges, if you’ve found your mate.

My mate? What do they have to do with my soul spirit?

Mates are the pinnacle, the driving force to a female curiomancer’s soul spirit, unless they reach the age of fifty and haven’t found or taken a mate. For those who have multiple mates, the soul spirit takes on a form of an ancient animal from their first mate’s ancestry. It stands true with a singular mate, but those with multiple, it won’t change, no matter if you have two or fifty mates.

And Daughter, I’ll roll over in my grave if you end up with fifty mates. The thought of one is more than enough to give your father a heart attack and send me six feet below earlier than expected.

I chuckle, a tear slipping free. Gods, he seems like he was amazing.

Male curiomancers are born with theirs, though they don’t show until the age of twenty unless they are mated before their coming of age. Like all female curiomancers, I’m sure you’re thinking this unfair, my daughter, but it is the way of the mancer.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering the whole point of a soul spirit. That’s easy. They’re your sounding board, your conscious, just externally. They’ll point you in the right direction and protect you when you need it.

If you haven't guessed already, this is one of our many closely guarded secrets. We have always kept our soul spirits hidden because the moment they’re weakened, our entire body is until they are healed. Our spirits are just as fragile as our own souls are.

So protect your soul spirit, Daughter.

The book falls into my lap, my mind immediately going to Aero. If my thoughts are right, that’s what he is. He’s my soul spirit. It makes perfect sense, especially given that he’s a Pegasus. From Luka’s realm.

But how the hell do I protect him? Keep him hidden? He is by my side almost twenty-four-seven. I’ve tried leaving him behind while I went to class, but I wasn’t successful. And I definitely don’t recommend walking away from a screeching Pegasus. On top of that, it’s not like he’s small enough to fit in my pocket or hide in my hair.

There’s a familiar huff from the darkness toward the stairs that I don’t even startle at the noise. My gaze finds his pink one, something akin to pride resting in those bubblegum orbs.

Pride? That I finally figured it out?

He huffs again, like he’s privy to my innermost thoughts. It’s not the first time he’s reacted to what goes through my head, so maybe that’s all the answer I truly need.

Aero’s hooves clip across the marble floor, the sound muted like he’s trying to quiet and not wake my sleeping mates upstairs. He comes to a stop in front of me, resting his large head in my lap, the pages of the tome crinkling slightly with weight. He stares back at me, not making a noise, letting me work through the thoughts running through my head.

“So,” I scratch my nails across the pink fur adorning the bridge of his nose, “is that what you are? My soul spirit?”

Instead of noises, there’s a squeeze from somewhere inside, akin to when my magic hugs my heart. But this time, it’s soul deep. A telling feeling really, given the other times I’ve spoken to Aero, I’ve felt the same thing.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I giggle, loving the feeling for once instead of being confused. “The book says I’m supposed to hide you, but you’re stubborn and won’t stay put. So how do I do that?”

He ignores me this time—typical if I’m honest—and heads to the couch, resuming his familiar position. But instead of nodding off, he watches me expectantly, waiting for something. But it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.

Gathering the book and blanket, I get up and move over the couch, covering my legs. Aero plops his head in my lap, his snores starting in no time. It amazes me just how quickly he can fall asleep. But he isn’t like me. He’s my soul. The tired part of my soul it seems.

Not wanting to waste time, I crack the tome back open, find my spot, and continue reading.

Now, Bailey. This is where you’re at a disadvantage. There are so many things to learn about your soul spirit: how to communicate with them, how to heal them, and if it’s anything like mine, how to combat its stubbornness. But the most important thing will be how to hide them.

Depending on what form your spirit takes, there’s a chance that you can’t just stick it in a purse and go about your day. My Kodiak bear is a beast, in size and heart. And definitely not something I can carry around and pretend he’s a stuffed animal. Your mom’s suggestion, not mine. So that’s where the next part comes in.

It’s tricky and may take a few tries, but if you’re as smart as your mom, you’ll pick it up easily. See, your soul spirit is basically an extension of you. If you want to do something, you will yourself to do it, right? Same concept here. You focus on your soul spirit and will it pocket-sized.

If you’re worried, rest assured that no matter where you keep your spirit, you yourself won’t hurt it. So a pocket. A bag. Anywhere really as long as it’s close to be there when you need it.

And touching on the stubbornness aspect a moment, I warn you, don’t try to leave it behind. That’s the quickest way to piss off your spirit.

Now, Daughter. Take a minute if you have your soul spirit and try it. If you don’t, you can keep reading. But don’t give up if you don’t get it on the first try.

Well, shit. Okay. I close the book and set it aside, then take a deep breath before focusing on the sleeping Pegasus in my lap. He was right about one thing, Aero is definitely stubborn. But he’s grown on me in the past week, and well, yeah, I love the freaking pink pony now.

So I’ll take his stubborn ass just the way he is.

Before I can even try, there’s a loud thud from above me, followed by what sounds like a herd of elephants racing across the floor.

My name is being yelled on repeat, each one more frantic than the last.

Shit. I did it again. Left without telling someone. But in my defense, I didn’t actually leave the house. Just came downstairs.

“I’m in the living room,” I call out, my brow raised as they both skid into the living room, almost tripping over each other as they try to stop. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Luka clutches his chest, huffing and puffing, his hand resting on Axel’s shoulder. My vampire doesn’t look much better either. Worry lines his features, genuine fear resting in his gaze. Crap. My heart clenches at their disheveled states.

“I’m sorry I worried you. I didn’t want to disturb you guys. So I came down here thinking a little reading would help me sleep.”

Luka runs his fingers through his short black hair, seeming to relax a little now that I’m in his sight. “It’s okay, goddess. Maybe… just… next time, wake one of us up. We would have come down here with you.”

“He’s right, cor meum . We love you. You don’t have to endure sleepless nights alone. Not when we’re in the same room with you.”

My heart stalls at his words. He said it. The one thing I wanted to say back at the gala that I never got a chance to. The words that were always caught in my throat until that night, until they were stolen away from me along with my safety.

I sniffle, my heart full of nothing but love for the two men in front of me who have stolen the very beating organ for themselves.

“I love you, too,” I murmur, so damn happy that the phrase is now out in the world, and I can say it whenever I want.

“Woah, woah, woah. Wait a minute here,” Luka interjects, waving his arms, immediately wiping the dopey smile off my face.

Oh no. Maybe Axel was wrong. Maybe they both don’t love me. Maybe the words only mean something coming from him.

“Nope. Knock it off.” He points a finger at my face, waggling it back and forth. “I wanted to say it first. You know, first mate, first one to say it.” His lips form a pout. “You totally ruined the order of things, vampire,” he mutters, throwing Axel a disapproving glare.

A watery giggle slips out before I can stop it, turning Luka’s pout into a cheesy smile. He crosses the distance from the entrance of the living room over to the sofa where I’m sitting and leans over, planting a chaste kiss on my lips.

Pulling back, he presses his forehead against mine, all teasing gone. “I love you, goddess. With every fiber of my being. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I love you, too,” I choke out, barely having a handle on my emotions.

Before any tears can break free, Aero inserts himself into the lovey-dovey conversation, making his presence known with a loud neigh. And it’s not a good one. No. It’s a ‘I’m pissed the hell off cause you interrupted my sleep,’ kind of sound.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your highness,” Luka grumbles, pulling away. I want to grab him, hold him to me so I can hold onto the moment, but Aero rubs his head against my belly, somehow telling me that I was actually in the middle of attempting something.

Which reminds me of what I learned. I know my birth dad said to keep Aero’s origin a secret, but these are my mates. If they were curiomancers, they would already know. And I trust these two with my life, so I don’t see anything wrong with sharing this bit of news with them.

“So, when I couldn’t sleep, I came back down and started reading more of the book.” I pick it up, giving it a little shake for emphasis.

Figuring this isn’t going to be a quick conversation, my mates sit down, Axel on the chair I abandoned for Aero earlier and Luka directly next to me.

“What were you reading about, cor meum ?”

My fingers brush against Aero. “Soul Spirits.”

Both guys shoot me confusing looks, but neither ask the question I can see burning in their eyes, waiting patiently for me to continue.

“He,” my eyes dart down and back up again, “isn’t my transmutation form.”

More silence. More questioning looks.

“He’s my soul spirit. My soul made tangible after mating with my mate, or first mate in this instance. That’s why he’s a Pegasus, after Luka.”

“Fuck yeah, goddess.” Luka pumps his fist in the air, his excitement palpable. “Alright, vampire. I forgive you for telling her you love her first.”

Axel and I both chuckle, but inside, I’m beaming with how happy this bit of information has made him.

“There’s much more to him, but in short, he’s basically my best friend, my perfect match. Just like you two. The only difference is, he doesn’t talk back.” My mates grunt good-naturedly, knowing the last comment was a joke. After all, they don’t talk back either. Maybe Axel did in the beginning, but since becoming mates, the snappy vampy persona he was sporting has disappeared.

One thing I don’t tell them is the part about my soul and body being weakened if he gets injured. That’s something I’ll keep close to my chest. For now, at least, unless something happens that they need to know.

“Before you guys came down, I was about to try shrinking him down. Supposedly I’m able to will him to whatever size I want, that way he doesn’t stick out when I’m going around the academy. And I definitely don’t want to go anywhere else outside of the grounds with him like this.”

They both nod, agreeing with me completely. It’s one thing to have attention drawn to me being what I am, but having a magical Pegasus following me around just paints a bigger target on my back.

“Go ahead and give it a try, cor meum .”

Axel settles back, his leg crossed over his knee, his hands clutching the armrests of the chair. He appears to be unaffected, but it seems he wants me to achieve this just as much as I do. I hate knowing I might let him down, but that’s the nature of magic. If you don’t get it on the first try, keep going, because one of these times, it’ll happen like it’s supposed to.

My focus turns from my mates down to my Pegasus; the only thought racing through my head is of him being smaller. Easier to manage. Easier to hide. I gather my will, almost feeling like I’m pooling it in my hand, then thrust it into the feeling, the connection, I have with Aero.

I hold my breath—hell, it feels like the whole world holds its breath—waiting for him to shrink. I keep pushing and pushing, frustration bubbling in my veins the longer he stays the size he is. Instead of growing smaller, Aero farts, releasing what seems like a noxious cloud of stink into the air.

A shriek rips from my throat as I throw his head off my lap and jump up, distancing myself from the flagellating Pegasus. There’s a slow whine of displeasure at being disturbed, but Aero doesn’t make a move otherwise, more than happy to relax in his own fog of nastiness.

“Well.” I clear my throat, ignoring the way the guys are trying hard not to laugh their asses off. “On that note. Time for bed.”

My laughter echoes behind me as I race off, heading for the stairs. The guys aren’t far behind me, their chuckles mirroring my own.

I may not have succeeded in changing Aero’s size, but I can fall asleep easily now that I know what he is. Now that I know I’m not a failure with my shifting rune, and him showing up was meant to be.

Just like my mates.