Page 51 of Lady of Ashes (Lady of Darkness #3)

CHAPTER 50

TALWYN

T alwyn watched as the spirit animals disappeared in ?ashes of light once Scarlett was gone, with nearly everyone else.

All the spirit animals but Rinji that is.

The stag stood stoically at Azrael’s side, watchful and waiting.

It wasn’t lost on her that Maliq had not shown up. Another abandonment that sliced away at her soul.

What was left of it after killing Sorin anyway.

It didn’t seem real. It had all seemed to happen in slow motion. The chaos of battle around them. Sorin ?ghting his way to Scarlett, slashing through earth magic with such ferocity that Talwyn knew nothing would keep him from reaching her. He shouldn’t have been able to ?ght magic without his ring. Even trained as a Fae warrior, he shouldn’t have been able to break through the vines they sent to bind him. But the rage, the desperation, the need to protect his twin ?ame at all costs had driven him forward. He would have found a way to burn the world to the ground to get to her. Nothing would have kept him from reaching his twin ?ame.

Nothing but death.

She hadn’t realized what she’d done until it was over. Until he was falling to his knees. Until Scarlett had started screaming. Until Azrael had met her eyes. His brown eyes were full, not of accusation, but sympathy.

Because she had not planned that. That was not supposed to happen. And she couldn’t stop seeing Sorin drop to his knees. She couldn’t stop hearing Scarlett’s screams. Couldn’t keep memories of hide-and-seek and frozen cream and the name ‘Little Whirlwind’ from her mind.

“I have been trying to reach you for days,” Azrael said, pulling her from memories she could not hide from. He still held twin swords in his hands at his sides. “You locked me out of the Halls. Of … everywhere.”

“I told you that you were no longer the person I could depend on,” she retorted coldly, pushing down every emotion trying to war inside of her. Letting the numbness settle in.

“And he is?” Azrael demanded, a jerk of his chin at Tarek. “The one who let you believe he was dead for an entire decade? The one who left you? Broke your heart? Abandoned you? Lied to you about—”

“Let’s not speak of who has lied to whom here,” Talwyn sneered, cutting him off.

“He is using you, Talwyn,” Azrael insisted. “You have to know that.”

“The Prince speaks truth,” came Ashtine’s lilt when she appeared at Azrael’s side.

Talwyn blinked in surprise. “You are still here.”

“I told you my loyalty resides with you,” she replied.

“But … you do not agree with this war.”

“I do not agree with your choices,” Ashtine agreed. “But my friendship with you does not rely upon conditions.”

And Talwyn was unsure of how to answer that, because every relationship in her life had been built on conditions, hers or someone else’s. A relationship was built with her out of necessity. Eliné and Sorin had taken her in because she needed to be trained to rule. Relationships with the other rulers had been built for the purpose of building alliances and loyalty. And Azrael? Well, out of a mutual need. She needed a Second, and he was the Earth Prince. She was under no illusion that he would have given her the time of day had she not been a queen.

“They got away!” the youngest of the Lords was bellowing, raging across the room where Shirina had nearly backed them into a corner. He whirled on who Talwyn now knew was the Assassin Lord of the Black Syndicate, Alaric. Tarek had introduced them when she had Traveled them here three days ago. “You cannot tell me this was part of your plan,” the young Lord was snarling, his ?nger pointed at Alaric in accusation.

“Calm down,” Alaric said coldly. “We still have the keys.”

Talwyn looked down at Tarek’s hand where the six amulets were indeed still clasped tightly in his ?st. Fury at Scarlett having stolen from her ?ooded through her veins. She had known immediately where the Fae key was, as soon as Scarlett had explained the amulets to her. It had been her mother’s, passed down to Talwyn with the Semiria ring. She never wore the thing, not one to need useless embellishments. It was why Ashtine had never seen it, would not have known that Talwyn possessed it.

“We are still missing one,” the young Lord retorted.

“Scarlett will bring it to us,” Alaric said, clearly not worried in the slightest. “And until she does, Queen Talwyn can begin working on how to shift them into their original states. This is not a setback.”

“Not a setback?” the Lord snarled. “How many times will you let her go until you keep her?”

“You mean how long until I will allow you to fuck her again?” Alaric asked, his brow arching. “That is what you are really asking, is it not?” The young Lord bristled as Alaric stepped closer to him, his tone going lethal. “Do not forget whom you serve here, Mikale, and in case you need the reminder, it is not the cunt of what belongs to me.”

The Lord’s eyes dropped to the ground.

“He mourns his sister,” the older Lord said, stepping forward. “He forgets his place.”

“Then he would do well to remember it, or he will join her,” Alaric said coldly. He turned towards a shadowed corner of the room. “As for you . You will ?ght with us next time, Contessa .”

“You cannot honestly expect me to ?ght her, Alaric,” Death’s Shadow drawled, and Talwyn couldn’t hide the surprise at how she spoke to her master. Although, it shouldn’t really shock her, considering how Scarlett spoke to him herself. “Did you want me to kill her? You know that cannot happen.”

“Of course I do not want her dead. Part of the reason for your existence these past years has been to keep the girl alive,” Alaric said. “But when Fae Royalty stand against us again, I expect you to do what you were trained to do.”

Nuri scoffed. “And the spirit animals? I suppose you wanted me to stand against them as well?”

The Assassin Lord’s face seemed to darken, his eyes narrowing on the Night Child. “I will take care of them myself.” He turned to face the older Lord. “What do you make of Cassius’s powers? How did we not know of them?”

“I have never learned who his father is,” the Lord answered. “Only that his mother is the High Witch.”

“Yes, yes,” Alaric said in annoyance. “We have known that for years. Sybil keeps us well informed on the Witch front. I am surprised she does not know, however.”

“She would not keep such information from us,” the Lord replied. “For her sake, I hope not. But he can Travel.”

“So he must have Avonleyan blood,” the Lord ?nished for him.

“Sepharina?” Alaric mused.

The Lord shook his head. “That was not wind magic.”

Alaric grunted in annoyance before his gaze settled back on Talwyn and the others. “Think on it, Balam,” he said to the Lord. “We can discuss it later. Get Mikale out of my sight.”

“Of course,” Balam said with a small bow of his head before turning and striding from the throne room, Mikale following him out.

“Sorry about that, your Majesty,” Alaric said as he approached. A pleased smile ?lled his features. One that Talwyn was sure few saw. “Inner Court matters. Something I am sure you can relate to.” His gaze swept over Azrael and Ashtine before settling on Tarek. “We have much to go over, Tarek. Finish up here, get someone to clean this place up, and meet us in the Syndicate.”

Tarek nodded in understanding, and Alaric swept from the room, the heavy doors clanging shut behind him. The bodies of the king and queen and Callan’s two guards were still on the ground. She had known the king and queen were not to survive this night. She had not known he had planned to kill Callan and his younger sister as well. Details she would be discussing in length with Tarek when this matter with Azrael and Ashtine was taken care of.

Ashtine cleared her throat. “While I have made the choice to remain loyal to you , Talwyn, that loyalty is separate from my Court’s loyalty to the Eastern Fae Queen.”

“What?” Talwyn demanded, whirling on the princess.

“I have no desire to be here while you discuss ways to desecrate what has been created in this land, even if much of it has been built upon falsehoods.” She looked up at Azrael. “Will you take me home, please?”

A muscle feathered in Azrael’s jaw. “Yes, but I need to speak with Talwyn ?rst.”

“Understood,” Ashtine replied. “I will wait at the main gates with Rinji.”

After she and the stag had left the room, Azrael turned back to Talwyn. “Speak with me. Alone.”

“There is a private room behind the dais,” Tarek said, nodding to the thrones. “Go there while I get this mess taken care of.”

Azrael didn’t wait, stalking towards the indicated area. He pushed through a door, turning to face her as she followed him through. His arms were folded across his broad chest, watching her as she shut the door behind them.

“What?” she bit out.

“That is all you have to say?” he asked dryly. “What do you want me to say, Prince Luan?”

“Prince Luan,” he scoffed.

Talwyn clenched her jaw before she gritted out, “He says he does not wish to challenge you for your Court.”

“Of course, he doesn’t, Talwyn,” Azrael retorted. “One, he knows he would lose that fight. Two, why would he fight for a Court, when he has a clear path to a throne to rule over two? More if these Maraan pricks get their way.”

“They do not want to rule the Courts,” Talwyn shot back.

“No, they will let you believe you are ruling them, just as they have let the mortal kings believe they have been ruling in the human lands for centuries. Events of tonight clearly prove otherwise.”

A heavy silence fell in the room. “How did you ?nd me?”

“The Ash Rider came for me. Aditya sent him. Said you were in wolf form with Tarek, that you needed me. He was clearly mistaken.”

Talwyn had to work to keep the surprise from her features, to keep her mask in place. He had come simply because he had thought she had needed him? No questions? Just dropped everything and came to her?

“Back in Siofra,” he said suddenly, “when I was telling you of my heritage, I told you that when my parents had been killed and I had assumed the throne, nothing had really changed for me. And that was true. I ran the Earth Court. I worked with Eliné on various matters for the kingdom, but everything I did was always for the betterment of the Earth Court.”

He paused for so long that Talwyn wondered if that was all he had to say, and what it mattered. She didn’t care. Not any more.

But when he spoke again, there was a pointed deliberation to his tone. “Everything stayed the same until the day a young queen showed up at my home, having just been bonded to a spirit animal, and not knowing a single fucking thing about what to do with her throne. That day, everything changed.”

“I do not know what you are trying to say, but spit it out, Az,” Talwyn snapped.

“Dammit, Talwyn. You changed everything. Until that day, relationships were for political alliances, for producing powerful heirs, for making sure the Earth Court remained pro?table. Until that day. Until you. Until you literally appeared out of thin air and turned my entire world upside down. I did not know how to react. I did not know how to let in those feelings, but that day? The purpose of a relationship took on a different meaning for me. And over the years, as I watched you grow into the queen you were always meant to be, love took on a different meaning for me, too.”

Talwyn found herself pressing her back to the door, having lurched back from what he appeared to be saying.

“I should have … told you sooner. All of it. Everything. Maybe things would be different, but I didn’t know how. I was too much of a … coward,” he was saying. His jaw was sharp, his eyes pinned on her. She couldn’t hold his gaze, her eyes darting around the room, trying to focus on anything but him. “But I know what love looks like Talwyn. And so do you. You saw it today when Aditya was ?ghting with everything he had to get to Scarlett. You saw it when Cyrus lost his fucking mind when Thia died. If you’d open your godsdamn eyes, you’d see it between Ashtine and Briar.” Talwyn’s gaze ?ew to his at that. “And you and I both know that is not what you have with Tarek.”

That had her pushing off the door, stalking towards him, fury coursing through her. “You know nothing of what I have with Tarek,” she seethed, her ?nger poking him hard in the chest, a gust of wind pushing into him and making him stumble back a step.

But instead of responding to that, Azrael said, “You will have to pick a side, Talwyn. You have to know that.”

“Do I?” Talwyn countered. “I could give two fucks less about the Maraan Lords and what they want in Avonleya. As long as that kingdom falls and becomes rubble at my feet, Alaric and the others can have whatever they want there. They are a means to an end. They are the ones being used here, not me.”

A laugh of utter disbelief came from Azrael. “At least acknowl edge you are purposefully putting on blinders here, Talwyn. You are putting your Courts, your people, those you are duty bound to protect, at risk for what? Revenge you think you are owed? When will it be enough? What do you want?”

“I want it all!” she screamed. “I am owed my revenge! I have lost everything because of them and what they started! If anyone has been used here, it is our people. Good enough to ?ght a war for them, but not good enough to be protected when they ran back and hid behind their wards. Good enough to be chosen until someone better came along, and then abandoned as if they were nothing.”

Something softened in his eyes. “Talwyn,” he murmured.

But she was done talking. She was done listening. She was done with him. She was done with all of this. “Aiding the Maraans in this, secures the safety of my Courts. If you cannot see that, then I am not the na?ve one here.”

“They will be used to ?ght a war that is not theirs, just as you accuse the Avonleyans of doing,” Azrael countered.

“They will not. I will not allow that to happen. I have given everything for these Courts. Everything,” she hissed. “I will be damned if an Avonelyan thinks she can come in here and take what I have dedicated my entire life to.”

Azrael was shaking his head, a hand carving through his dark hair.

Then he was prowling towards her, taking her chin between his thumb and fore?nger, forcing her to meet his gaze.

“I want to make one thing very clear, Talwyn,” he said. “I am not walking away because I want to. I am not letting you go because I do not care. I am letting you go because you refuse to let anyone ?ght for you. You refuse to even entertain the idea that someone could want you for you. That someone would see the value of who you are. I see everything you cannot see. And Tarek? He does not see you, Talwyn. He sees a path to a throne. He has not watched you grow into the queen you are today. He left you willingly, not because you forced him to walk away. He willingly abandoned you. But know that when I walk away from you tonight, it kills me to do so.”

“You are no different,” she whispered, her voice harsh and intending to wound. “You have conditions for what we are.”

“The only condition I have is that you choose me, too, Talwyn,” he answered, his voice gruff and low. “I do not believe this was all for nothing, so know that on the days and nights you feel alone, when you ?nd yourself standing among the destruction you have brought about, I will be out there. We are not done, you and I, and I will come for you as soon as you let me do so.”

He dropped her chin, taking a step back from her. “But I cannot stand by and watch you lead our people to their death.”

Talwyn hadn’t moved. Her face was still tilted up, her lips pressed into a thin line. She said nothing until she heard his hand on the door, beginning to pull it open. Then she found herself spinning towards him.

“They plan to invade the Courts,” she said, her tone ?rm and monotone. “I will let them cross the wards.”

Azrael stilled. He stared straight ahead, his eyes ?xed on the door in front of him. “I will tell the others. Drayce and Adit— The Fire Court.”

“I know,” she said, the numbness she’d felt when her power had slammed into Sorin’s chest returning.

Numbness because she would not allow herself to feel the crater it had left in her soul.

This was no place for feelings and emotions.

“How you are feeling right now? About exacting your revenge against Sorin?” Azrael said, as if he could see her fractured soul. “You are glimpsing your future, Talwyn. That feeling is all your future holds if you stay on this path.”

Then he was gone, the door banging shut behind him.

“How is it coming along?”

Tarek’s hand brushed the back of her neck before she felt him coast his lips along her ?esh.

It had been a week since the king and queen of Windonelle had been murdered. It had been a week since Prince Callan and Princess Eva had fled for their lives. Lord Lairwood, Hand to the King, was next in line to take the throne according to royal charters, all neatly orchestrated over the centuries by Alaric and Balam Tyndell themselves. Of course, Lord Lairwood was also conveniently murdered that night, leaving the path to the throne open for none other than Mikale Lairwood himself. Talwyn had also learned that Mikale and his sister were not Lord Lairwood’s flesh and blood. Balam had used the strange powers he had to alter people’s reality, and made the Lord believe them to be his children.

Alaric had been right. It would have been a much smoother transition if Callan had married Veda. She knew now the plan had been to eventually kill Callan, when enough time had passed, and then Veda would have called on her brother to take the throne after claiming she didn’t know the ?rst thing about ruling a kingdom. There would be bumps and resistance with how things had actually played out.

But Alaric had taken care of that, too.

Everything had been pinned and blamed on the Fae. Well, not all the Fae. Speci?cally the “treacherous Fire Court” to the North with the aid of the Water Court to the South. But humans being mortal, they were wary of all the Courts, her own included, despite it being declared the Fae Queen of the Eastern Courts was on their side. Despite it being announced that she had killed the Fire Prince in revenge for killing their king and queen. The humans had been too distrustful of the Fae for far too long, though, taught to believe that all their troubles stemmed from them because of the Great War.

Because of Avonleya.

She sat at a desk in a suite at the Baylorin castle, the amulets spread out before her. Alaric did not want them to leave the mortal lands, so she was stuck working on trying to shift their form here, rather than taking them back to the White Halls. Tarek had stayed with her every night, gone during the days to do whatever tasks were assigned to him. She was included in many meetings, but she knew there were others being held without her.

She did the same in her own kingdom after all, having meetings long into the night with Azrael and Ashtine after the other Royals had departed.

Not that she had to worry about that any more. She had learned that the winged men she and Azrael had fought were called seraphs, and there were more of them. So many more than she’d have ever guessed. And those rips in the planes she’d been taken to at one time with Scarlett? That was how they were getting them into this world. Through some combination of Blood Magic and Maraan gifts.

They had these rips in every mortal kingdom. Several rips, actually. They had them in the Night Child lands. Their next focus was the Fae Courts. Talwyn had agreed to let them in on the condition that none of her innocent people would be hurt in any of the Courts. Alaric himself had reassured her that this was solely to force Scarlett’s hand to get them into Avonleya. They were building an army to bring against Avonleya and he had promised she would see the Aonvelyan king’s head at her feet, and that was all she cared about.

“This nightstone is different,” she replied, Tarek’s ?ngers skating across her cheek while he stood behind her. “I have shifted matter and energy plenty of times, but this is denser. Harder. More resistant.”

“You can do it,” Tarek said softly, ?ngers dragging down her throat, across her collarbone. “Your mother would not have left the task to you if she did not believe you could accomplish it.”

“What are you doing here in the morning?” she asked. He was generally gone before she woke, only returning for a midday meal with her before they both went to meet with the Lords and be briefed on any new developments.

“I had nothing to tend to this morning, so I thought I would check in on you,” Tarek replied, reaching past her to pick up one of the amulets.

Some … thing ?uttered in her chest at his words, but his next ones had it dying just as quickly.

“What do you plan to do with the Courts?”

“What do you mean what do I plan to do with them? I will rule them. As I have the last several decades,” she replied sharply, her attention going back to the amulets. She picked up her own, holding the cool metal in her palm. It never warmed. No matter how long she held it. It was always cool to the touch.

“Yes, but you are down a few Royals now,” Tarek said casually. Too casually.

Talwyn stiffened, but he continued speaking, not seeming to notice. “When we enter the Fire and Water Courts, Alaric will not let the Royals live if they refuse to side with us. Then again, I guess we only need to worry about Drayce,” he mused, apparently simply thinking out loud at this point. “I know you do not wish to see an Avonleyan ruling over them, and Alaric will not let Scarlett remain in her role. He has … other plans for her.”

“Such as?” Talwyn asked, trying to keep the annoyance from her tone but failing.

“He will not share that with you unless you choose the Blood Bond.”

She had been offered this Blood Bond three times now. This thing that bound Tarek and Death’s Shadow to the Maraans. Alaric speci?cally. She was told it would offer the ultimate protection. Unconditional loyalty that goes both ways. That was how Tarek described it, but she still wasn’t convinced. It seemed too … convenient. It was wrapped up too pretty. She’d learned long ago that anything good and beautiful in her life wouldn’t stick around for long. The Fates did not ?nd her worthy enough to gift her anything that valuable. Pretty things always came at a cost. It was just a matter of ?guring out how big the cost would be.

It was never worth it.

Ignoring his comment about the Blood Bond for now, Talwyn said, “Alaric told me no innocents will be harmed in this.”

“Do you honestly believe Prince Drayce will willingly allow us into his Court? That Cyrus and Eliza and Rayner will not ?ght against us? They cannot stay in their positions, Talwyn.”

She let the amulet she was holding plunk down onto the desk, leaning back rigidly in her chair and looking up at him. “So this is why you are truly here? To learn about my plans for the Courts?”

Tarek shrugged. “It is something that needs to be discussed. Now seemed as good a time as any.”

Talwyn’s jaw was clenched so tightly it hurt. “The Courts are mine to worry about. No one else’s.”

“No one is trying to take them from you, Moon?ower,” he said softly. “But we do need to know what to expect so we are all on the same page.”

“They will be offered the choice of aligning with us or abdicating,” she said.

“Talwyn, Alaric will not let them live if they do not join our cause.”

“That is not his choice to make.”

“He will not risk letting them live to start up a secret rebellion. To ?nd ways to work against him and thwart his efforts. He has waited too long. There will be no room for mercy. Not any more,” Tarek said.

“They are my Courts, not his,” Talwyn said again, pushing to her feet so she no longer needed to look up at him. Annoyingly, Azrael’s words chose that moment to emerge at the forefront of her thoughts.

They will let you believe you are ruling them, just as they have let mortal kings believe they have been ruling in the human lands for centuries.

“If the Water and Fire Courts will not fall in line, Ashtine can handle matters in the Water Court until we can take the time to ?nd a new Royal properly. Ermir will watch over the Wind Court in her absence, and I will handle the Fire Court personally,” she ?nally said, her voice as icy as a bitter wind.

“And the Earth Court?” Tarek asked, his head tilting to the side as he watched her.

“What of it?”

Tarek scoffed. “Luan clearly does not side with you, Talwyn. He cannot be left in his position.”

“And I suppose you want it? Is that truly what this has all been about? You taking back the Earth Court?”

Tarek’s brow arched. “Someone has been talking. Was it the false queen or the false prince?”

“How I learned of it is none of your concern. Answer the question,” she demanded.

Tarek’s hands shot out, snatching her waist and dragging her into him. His nose was nearly touching hers and when he next spoke, she could feel his breath on her lips. “My sole focus these last ten years has been you, Talwyn. Always you. What was best for you, your Courts, and the revenge you deserve to take. I do not care about petty rivalries among the Courts nor who is sitting on a throne, as long as you are the queen of it all.”

“And as long as you are at my side, right?” She’d meant it to come out cold and sharp, but there was an edge of something else in her tone that made it sound almost broken.

Because everything had a cost, and she was just now ?guring out what the cost of his love was likely to be.

“Do you not wish me to be at your side?” Tarek asked, his hands on her hips beginning to roam. “We are twin ?ames, Talwyn.”

“Are we?”

His movements stopped, and he leaned back to see her face better. “You doubt us? What we are? What we have?”

“There is a lot that does not add up, Tarek,” she retorted. “A lot that does not make sense.”

Tarek’s arms dropped to his side, and he pushed away from her, stalking to the middle of the room. Then he was spinning back to face her. “You let them whisper lies. Like snakes in the grass, they have planted seeds to destroy what we have. When I have spent the last ten years sacri?cing everything . For you.”

“Do not act as if I have not sacri?ced just as much for you,” Talwyn sneered in reply. “And I did not ask you to sacri?ce anything for me.”

“Of course not,” Tarek said with a roll of his eyes. “You would never lower yourself enough to let someone do something for you.”

“No,” she said, taking a few steps to him, then halting. “I know that sacri?ces are never given freely. There is always a cost, and I do not like to have debts hanging over my head.”

Tarek stilled, seeming to consider this, before he closed the distance between them and took her hand. “And if the only payment I ask is your heart, Talwyn?”

The corner of her mouth curled up into a sardonic half-smile. “I know that notion is too pretty to be true,” she replied. “And even if it were not, there is nothing left of my heart to give to you. That cost was paid long ago.”