Page 37 of Lady Isla and the Lord of Rogue (Merry Spinsters, Charming Rogues #6)

“Yes. He became the father I never had,” Teddy said simply. “And in that one thing, his calculation was correct. My loyalty to him is absolute. I would give my life for him.”

Isla drew in a sharp breath and looked at Algie with disbelief. “This entire time. All this time, I was looking for Jem. You knew where he was?”

Algie shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Well. That’s the thing.” He cleared his throat. “That may be what I’ll have to atone for.”

“But why? Why didn’t you just tell me? Why couldn’t you just have….” Isla slumped in her chair, as she couldn’t even bring herself to complete the sentence.

“Jem became one of the biggest secrets of the Home Office,” Algie attempted to explain.

“I didn’t want anyone to know who he was, or what I needed him for.

No one knew. No one at all. I had him set up in a separate house, with a separate staff, and he received his own special education.

During the day, he trained and studied with a variety of tutors.

I had to make sure the staff changed regularly.

Then I had him sent off to join the army.

He excelled there, too. After he returned, his training continued.

By then, his father noticed and acknowledged him as being his legitimate son and heir. ”

Teddy nodded. “It came as a bit of a surprise because I’d always assumed I was his natural son, born out of wedlock, but that he’d never acknowledge me.

But he did, shortly before he died. I suppose he was relieved his son wasn’t the scum he feared he’d be, but I had grown into something useful after all.

But I never had any relationship with him, not the way I had with Wynthorpe. ”

“By then, I had my plan crafted meticulously to the tiniest detail,” Algie continued.

“I needed good, reliable intelligence. Not just some common informant; I had plenty of those, but a highly trained agent, someone raised for the task.

He would insert himself into the world of crime and make himself a reputation and operate from within.

“I know you missed and loved him, and it pained me to see you so sad. But my claim on him was bigger. I needed him more.”

Isla turned to Teddy, a look of disbelief in her eyes. “Why did you even agree to such a mad scheme?”

“Can you truly be asking this question? The proposal was heaven sent. I was a homeless orphan. They called me a half Gypsy boy with no prospects, no education, no future. I was about to lose the only person who mattered to me. Then appeared Wynthorpe, as if sent by fate, and offered me the opportunity of a lifetime. He proposed to not only give me a home, but an education. All he wanted was my undisputed loyalty. Naturally I took it.” He paused, clasping his hands behind his back.

“But it came at a price.” He looked at her with sorrow. “You. ”

“The condition was harsh: I was to remain a stranger to you. I was not to see or contact you, for that would render everything void.”

“That is what I do not understand. Why? It appears to be unnecessarily cruel.”

Algie rubbed his neck. “To get you to move on. To get you to focus on your new life. And to forget your old one, which included Jem. Jem needed to grow into his new identity, and to fulfil his mission he needed to be kept from all distractions. You would have kept reminding him of who he was and where he came from. It would have been an interference that could have jeopardised the entire mission.”

Teddy crouched down on the floor and took her hands in his.

“I saw you from afar, watched how you grew up into a beautiful young lady. Every time you and Lady Wynthorpe walked through the Whitehall Courtyards, you would see us training, and you did not know I was there. It took all the restraint I had in my being not to call out to you.”

Isla was quiet as she remembered the times when she walked across the courtyard of the Horse Guards Parade towards Whitehall Palace, with her hand tucked in Lady Wynthorpe’s.

She remembered the group of men standing in a line for inspection, and she’d assumed they were soldiers.

She had not known that Jem was amongst them.

He’d been right there all the time. Under her very nose.

“But I never forgot,” she whispered.

“Yes, you never forgot.” Algie sighed. “It turned out to be a problem. ”

All the years of searching.

Why had Algie allowed it?

“You let me grieve for him. Alone. Year after year. It was cruel.” Her voice shook. “And then you let me believe for months that he’d died. As a criminal.”

Algie rubbed his neck. “Contrary to what the papers reported, the operation hadn’t been entirely wrapped up.

There were complications. Even with Night gone from the street, his enemies weren’t.

It took us all this time to round everyone up.

I could not risk letting you know Teddy was alive—not yet.

Impulsive as you are, you would have set out to seek him.

It was best to wait until it was all truly brought to an end.

You must forgive me, but I thought I was doing the right thing for your own protection.

We completed the mission, better than we had dared hope, even.

But yes. It all came at the cost of deceiving the person I care about most. Lying to you like that.

.. it was bitter. And I do not know whether you will ever be able to forgive me for that. ”

In the silence of the room, only the fire crackled.

Suddenly, it all got too much. The worried expression on Catherine’s face, Algie’s pleading look. Teddy…Teddy…Jem… She felt an odd numbness, like an ice-cold hand squeezing her heart.

Isla got up abruptly and walked to the door.

“Isla. Where are you going?” Teddy followed her and reached out a hand towards her.

She backed away.

“I need to think,” Isla said, her voice toneless.

She opened the door and addressed the maid, who was waiting there. “Have the coach made ready.”

“Isla!” Teddy followed her out into the foyer with quick steps. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll come with you, then,” Catherine offered, rising from her seat.

Isla shook her head. “No. I need to be alone. Please.”

“Let her go. Let’s give her some space.” Algie rubbed his temple.

“If you need to be alone to think, I will respect that.” Teddy searched her face. Once more, he reached out a hand and dropped it. “Take as much time as you need. I’ll be waiting for you,” he added softly.

Isla turned without answering and walked into the night, past the others, towards the waiting coach. The cold air stung her cheeks, but she welcomed it. It helped her feel something. Anything.