Page 32 of Lady Dragon
If you don’t wish to face the cleansing light of our fire, perhaps you deserve to get scorched , Pavak said. Or even snuffed.
Unfortunately, the Queen Mother’s considering silver gaze now rested upon her sister, and Samansa thought she could recognize that look, as well, from her own mother’s face. The need to tread carefully, even when one was the queen.
You can say what needs to be said here, Kirek, with all present , the Queen Mother decided. And you will do it proudly, or do you wish to lower yourself in the eyes of Pavak, whose lofty regard matters so highly to us all, for fear we will be found lacking?
The haughty disdain in the queen’s tone made it sound as if Pavak’s regard didn’t matter much, and there were chuffs like scoffs, but also a few hisses among the looming circle of dragons.
Samansa could feel the pressure in the warm cavern like held breath, and guessed that Pavak’s opinion might matter very much to some. Perhaps to a significant number. And what Kirek had to say could definitely not be spoken with pride.
Samansa’s throat tightened. While she was feeding herself on fantasies of romance, Kirek was probably mortified by the princess—by her feelings, by the pair-bond, by the broken Heartstone.
Even by her kiss, no doubt. Samansa felt hot, gritty tears pressing behind her eyes and bit her lip harder to stopper them.
Her mother’s words surfaced once more from her childhood: If you cry like that in front of a dragon, they will think you weak.
She would not bring even more shame down on Kirek. She would do whatever it took to avoid it. But she didn’t see how she could stop the inevitable fall that was coming.
Her mother’s voice seemed to rise again, this time from not so long ago: You cannot botch this diplomatic arrangement so thoroughly as to commit quite possibly the gravest offense against dragonkind that there is.
Samansa closed her stinging eyes. Oh, Mother, how I have failed you. Because I fear I love Kirek.
Of course, she would never admit it out loud, not even for Kirek’s ears alone. It was Kirek who spoke instead.
The complication that has arisen is Samansa , she said baldly. I know what you instructed me to do, Mother—to kill the daughter heir—but now I cannot, and nor can any other dragon. For I have bonded with her. She is now as good as one of us.
The Queen Mother’s eyes flew wide, and Pavak’s oily voice turned more acidic, filled with fury and disgust. You pair-bonded a human ?
The Queen Mother stared hard at Kirek, unblinking. How is this possible, daughter?
I don’t know. Kirek’s head bowed, and Samansa felt her heart sink with it. But it is true.
Kirek was clearly ashamed. And her own mother was ashamed of her as well; Samansa could see it in the unforgiving lines of the queen’s posture as clearly as if it were spelled out.
Instead of feeling unclean or lowly, as Samansa might have, she only felt sadness so heavy it threatened to drag her to the ground.
She didn’t even feel shame, precisely, even though she had failed not only her mother, not to mention Jamsens, but Kirek.
And now, perhaps the entire human realm.
Just as Kirek was clearly failing her own.
They had done this. Wrought such destruction with… love. Or whatever it was that Kirek felt, which she was too revolted to even name. And they hadn’t even admitted the whole of it. Not yet.
For something so precious and sweet to wreak such havoc was heartbreaking. Perhaps the broken Heartstone was the perfect symbol of their feelings for each other.
And yet, while feeling more for each other put both their queendoms’ peace at risk, Kirek might very well have killed Samansa if Samansa hadn’t kissed her and caused the bond to fall into place.
Samansa’s murder would have thrown at least the human realm into absolute turmoil, even if the dragons might have benefited.
Should the princess wish for her own death and the resulting chaos over a feeling that filled her with light and butterflies and warmth?
Why did something so beautiful have to be seen as so ugly ?
She wanted to choose beauty, despite the risks.
No dragon should have such an urge , Pavak hissed, as if she’d heard Samansa’s unworthy thoughts. She even bared her daggerlike teeth at the princess, making Kirek bare her own in warning. Caring for a human is forbidden. Beneath you.
She was certainly speaking over Samansa’s head enough to prove it.
A low growl rose from Kirek. My feelings are my own. My own burden to bear. Whatever they may be, it doesn’t change the reality of the pair-bond. I cannot hurt her now, and neither can you—not being my kin, as you are. That is forbidden as well.
Bitterness choked Samansa. Kirek wouldn’t admit to her feelings. Not that it was the wisest course of action, given where they stood and whom they faced, but still—it was hard for the princess to swallow, when all she wanted to do was shout her own feelings to the world.
She wanted to scream now, into the silence.
What would you have me do? the Queen Mother asked Kirek eventually.
Spare Samansa , Kirek said immediately . Protect the Treaty and Andrath’s queen from the threat of a male usurper.
And why should we? the queen bit back.
Samansa heard her own voice ring out before she could think better of it.
“My brother will not stop at overthrowing my mother. He is spiteful, power-hungry, and furious that dragons have helped Andrath’s queens hold the throne for so long.
Yes, he wants you to stand aside while he takes power, but after that?
What then? He feels as if the world owes him.
That dragons owe him. If you think he will cede you lands or control, you are sorely mistaken. ”
Of course, she wasn’t supposed to have been following the conversation. All the huge, angular heads in the cavern aimed at her like arrows, nocked and ready to let fly. Samansa felt a bead of sweat trickle down her neck under her kerchief, even though she was suddenly cold.
She has a… a stone , Kirek said, faltering, that lets her understand us. It comes from Andrath.
Not a lie. Not exactly. And if only very recently from Andrath. Once again, Samansa didn’t look down at her breast.
Another cursed stone? Pavak hissed.
The princess nearly coughed up a laugh.
I see , the Queen Mother said slowly. You could have mentioned this sooner so that I might have guarded my words more carefully.
“To avoid facing the cleansing light of the fires of perception, or whatever it was?” Samansa said with less eloquence than she’d intended. But then she added simply, “No one is hiding here. I speak the truth plainly.”
The Queen Mother gave her an appraising look that made Samansa’s cheeks heat. She probably should be worried the queen was looking at her at all .
If your brother is as you say he is, what can you—what can queens —offer to us that he can’t?
the queen asked shrewdly. Yes, the Treaty has prevented war, but we might stand to benefit from conflict, especially between humans.
We have kept women on Andrath’s throne for too long with too little reward.
Samansa licked her lips, suddenly dizzy.
There was a strange feeling growing in her chest, making her thoughts fuzzy.
She desperately hoped she wasn’t about to shift.
“I would need to confirm with my mother, the queen, but… we can give you knowledge.” She recited the words as if recounting a dream— her dream.
And not just from her hazy recollection, but as if seeing it again as she spoke.
“There is a cave. Far north of here, in the hottest part of your realm, that has been forgotten. It holds the secrets that humans and dragons made together. In a… forge, I believe.” She squinted, as though making out the details right here on the cavern’s platform.
“It’s where the Heartstone was made with both human and dragon magic, now long lost. And the Songstones. ”
Kirek stared at her in no little surprise. And suspicion, which stabbed at Samansa like a dagger.
How do you know this? Kirek demanded.
Samansa hadn’t known such a place existed outside of her dream, which she’d been too afraid to recount, until the knowledge of it had just now fallen onto her head with the weight of a forgotten memory—a memory that wasn’t hers, somehow. Blinking, she tried to shake the dizziness.
But the Queen Mother was looking at Kirek with the same air of suspicion as she asked, You told her of the Songstones?
Kirek’s head swiveled in her direction. No, I swear on my life, Queen Mother.
“I know about the Songstones from my… my studies,” Samansa said quickly.
“Only future queens learn of them, a secret we were content to let the dragons believe was theirs alone, if it encouraged you to send emissaries of peace to our realm. We knew you might use them against us, and yet we chose to trust you.”
Honestly, she had no idea how she knew about such stones any more than the dream-shrouded magical forge in a distant cave. Kirek hadn’t spoken a word to her of them, and Samansa felt the edges of her own betrayal as she shot her a sharp look. Kirek flinched.
So the human queens have withheld knowledge of hidden magic from us, despite the Treaty? As well as this stone you possess that allows you to understand us?
“No!” Samansa said hurriedly. “I—I don’t think we know how to wield this magic anymore, either.
But together… perhaps we could relearn it.
We could make more Heartstones. More Songstones—the existence of which you’ve tried to keep secret from us , as well, and were perhaps using to plot against my life.
I’m only using this… new… stone to understand you. To try to keep the peace.”