Page 18

T he next time I wake up, I’m curled against Cove’s side on the couch. A thick, fluffy black blanket is wrapped around me, just below my chin like a burrito. The warmth and fuzziness fill me, and I snuggle closer into his side.

Cove hugs me closer to his body, resting his cheek on top of my head. Neither of us speaks, and I don’t want to be the one to break the comfortable silence. The moment is peaceful, precious. It’s something I don’t get often, and I want to cherish it while it lasts.

His other hand reaches to play with a strand of my hair, the sound of his breathing, the beating of his heart melting my worries away. My eyes close, and I feel comfortably safe in his arms. I pull one of my hands out of the blanket and trace patterns over his chest idly.

“Are you feeling better?”

Cove’s voice is soft. It’s weird. It’s never been this soft. A part of me wants to cling to the moment because Lord knows when I’ll hear it the next time. But the other part of me feels too exposed, too vulnerable. It’s like he sees me as some sort of a porcelain doll that will break if he uses his normal voice.

“Yeah,’’ I mumble.

“I’m not going to ask,’’ he states, voice just as tender, “I won’t pry. But sooner than later, you’ll need to tell me, bunny.’’

He’s right. It’s one thing for him to keep me safe, but not when he doesn’t know what he’s keeping me safe from. The demons in my head are battling. If I tell him, I’ll have no dignity left. I’m ashamed of how I allowed myself to be roped into that abusive relationship.

I’m ashamed. I attempted to take my life because I couldn’t feel anymore. I’m ashamed of how it affected my family. I’m ashamed that my mother cried for me, that my brother cried for me. I’m ashamed that my father, one of the greatest men I’ve ever met, has turned to alcohol after that.

But the rational part of me wants it to be out and to tell Cove everything. Because I trust him. I’m not sure when the trust was formed. It could’ve been when I stupidly confessed my feelings to him; it could’ve been when he hugged me in the kitchen or anywhere in between — but one thing’s for sure. I trust Cove with my life.

He’s different from Wyatt.

I don’t know if I deserve it.

My eyes lift to meet his, and a breath gets stuck in my throat. Although his expression is as stoic and as cold as ever, there’s warmth in his eyes. I don’t want to dare even think it’s what I think it is, but as I continue to allow myself to be pulled in the depth of his eyes, I can see it.

Cove loves me.

He may not be able to voice it out, but he loves me. I know he does. I can see it. He looks at me the same way Arlo looks at Blair, the same way Dad looks at Mom. He looks at me like I’m the most precious thing in the world, and he’s scared that he’ll lose me.

My heart beats rapidly in my chest, swelling with emotions. A lone tear slides down my cheek, and Cove quickly brushes it off with his thumb. He cups my cheek, and my eyes close for a moment as I lean into his touch, the calloused hand on my face sending a wave of peace down my body.

Slowly, before I can change my mind, I open my mouth. The words start flowing straight out, the raw and unfiltered version of what happened between Wyatt and me. The emotions slip out, and I don’t try to stop them. Tears silently stream down my cheeks as I speak, unable to stop it.

Cove’s silent. He’s letting me talk it out, vent, and tell him everything that happened. Although he doesn’t speak, I can see the anger in his eyes. His arm around me tightens, pulling me closer. His jaw is clenched, eyes filled with hatred for Wyatt.

I choke on words, my tongue feeling heavy in my mouth. My throat starts closing in slightly, and it hurts to speak. Yet, I don’t stop, not until I’ve told him every little detail. Not until I’ve recounted all the nightmares I’ve had for months that followed our breakup, nor the monsters that are still inside my head.

They’re loud. They always tell me that I’m not worthy of love, and I’ve always believed them. Because on some level, they’re right. I’m a monster. Hell, I’ve killed people in more ways than I can remember. There’s no redemption for me.

At least that’s what I thought. But now, as I am seeing myself in Cove’s eyes, I can’t help but let my mind wander. My mind and soul are filled with him, and somehow, I come to the realization that despite the atrocious acts I’ve committed, there’s still hope.

Cove Steele is my redemption. If a spot in hell is reserved for me, I know it’s right next to his. There’s no possibility that anyone will separate me from him, not now that I’ve felt his tight embrace and heard the way his heart’s beating for me.

Once I’m done speaking, he lets the information linger in the air, absorbing and processing it. He sits up and pulls me into a sitting position, securing the blanket around my body, his hands gripping the soft material until his knuckles turn white.

“Jesus Christ, bunny,’’ he breathed out. “How many times did you try to take your life?”

“Just once,’’ I admit.

“How many times have you thought about doing it again?”

I stay silent and look away from him. Gently, he tilts my head upward to meet his eyes, refusing to let me look away. A flash of hurt passes behind his own, though he’s quick to mask it. However, the expression isn’t as stoic. It softens a fraction, getting my tainted heart to beat again.

“Are you still thinking about it?”

I shake my head. “No. I haven’t had those thoughts in a while.’’

Cove releases a deep breath of relief, his hands still clutching the blanket, but they’re shaking. His face isn’t telling me much, but the way his hands are shaking because of me spirals a deep sense of guilt inside of me.

“Bunny,’’ he says slowly, “if you ever think like that again, please come and tell me. Please don’t do anything to yourself. Just come to me, please.’’

The words spoken barely above a whisper tug on my heartstrings. Cove’s begging, his eyes pleading with me. He swallows thickly, and I’m compelled to nod. He’s searching for any trace of a lie and uncertainty. When he finds none, he responds with a firm nod of his own.

“Good.’’

His hands drop from the blanket, resting on my thighs.

“What do you want to do about that bastard, bunny?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“He’s dying,’’ Cove claims. “There’s not a scenario in this life where Wyatt Chambers will live to see another birthday. I’m asking you how you want it to happen. I can do it for you. But I won’t take away that choice from you. If you want to sever his head, I’ll deliver his unconscious body to you.’’

A soft smile tugs on the corner of my lips. “You’d let me land the last blow?”

“Always,’’ he responds without missing a beat. “Yes, he had Jackson stab me, but I don’t care about that. I’d let myself be stabbed another dozen times if it meant letting you have your moment of revenge. Lord knows you deserve it.’’

I lean forward, pressing my face against his shoulder. His hands immediately wrap around me, pulling me closer. I inhale his scent, my nerves seemingly calming down in an instant. The sensation of warmth spreads through my body, and I’m left there, calm and relaxed for what seems an eternity.

“Do you think he’ll come for me?” I mumble against his flesh.

Cove’s body tenses before it relaxes a little. “It’s a possibility, yes. If his goal is to get revenge for being banished from New York, he’ll start with you or your family.’’

“Then, he’ll start with me. I highly doubt he’d even be able to get within ten feet of my parents.’’

“I won’t let him get to you, bunny,’’ he mumbles, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I melt under the simple gesture, a smile on my face.

“So, I’m inclined to ask,’’ I pause, distancing myself from him, looking at his face. “What exactly happened between you and Arlo?”

He breathes out a small laugh, raising an amused brow at me. The bruise on his eye is visible, but it’s in a healing process, fading into a yellowish shade. He shakes his head slightly, subconsciously touching the bruise.

“Let’s just say this was a warning.’’

“Oh?”

“Mhm,’’ he hums.

“From what I’ve heard, you let Arlo hit you. What’s that all about? You don’t let people hit you around.’’

“It was deserved, wasn’t it? I did fuck his sister’s throat,’’ he smirks. “Though, for some reason, he didn’t want to listen to details.’’

A laugh slips from me. “Would you imagine that? He didn’t want to hear how his little sister sucked off his best friend. What a shocker!’’

Cove grins. “We came to a mutual understanding.’’

“Do tell,’’ I say, propping my elbows on my knees and leaning forward slightly.

“I get to keep you as long as I don’t hurt you.’’

“What am I? An object to keep?” I snort.

“No,’’ he’s quick to respond. “You’re just…’’

“Just…’’ I urge him to continue.

Cove’s never been good at expressing himself with words. He pauses, his mouth pouting slightly as he mentally goes elsewhere. He’s thinking of how to put the emotions he’s feeling into words, and I don’t have the heart to tell him I was just joking.

So, I wait. He’s been patient with me, and he deserves the same in response.

“I feel a very possessive urge to keep you safe at all times,’’ he concludes. ‘‘It’s like all of me wants to cage you away from all harm and keep you safe and sound, where I could keep an eye out for you at all times.’’

“Someone sounds obsessed,’’ I tease with a small grin.

“Obsessed is an understatement. You make me mad. The thought of you being touched by anyone else makes me want to spill blood. The thought of you not being by my side at all times makes me go insane. Obsessed? Yeah, I’m obsessed. Obsessed with the way you talk and laugh. Obsessed with the way you moan my name. Obsessed with having all of your attention on me and me only, bunny.’’

A breathless sigh leaves me, my heart hammering against my chest. I didn’t expect he’d actually say it outright. Two years. I’ve been waiting for two years to hear him say it, and now that he has, it feels maddening.

He cups my face, eyes darkening a shade. “Tell me what you want, bunny,’’ he whispers, his hot breath fanning my face.

“I want to forget, Cove,’’ I whisper back.

He doesn’t need anything else. He kisses me, pulling me to sit on his lap. His arms wrap around my waist, holding me close until there’s not even an inch of space between us. His warm lips move in a frenzy against mine, the passion and unspoken words causing my stomach to do a backflip.

Cove picks me up, the thick blanket falling to the floor. He doesn’t stop kissing me while carrying me upstairs to the bedroom where I woke up today. Gently, he lays me on the bed, looking down at me.

“We’ll try something different this time.’’