Page 9 of Knox

Maybe I had.

I could’ve stayed under the scorching spray all day, but Knox was making breakfast, and Grady would be up soon. I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart, so after washing the previous day away, I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist.

As I looked in the mirror, I saw that my eyes were bloodshot. My jaw was clenched so tight my mouth hurt. My brown hair stuck out in every direction, and my shoulders were drawn up like I was bracing for another hit.

I looked like someone I didn’t recognize.

Not an athlete. Not a father. Not even a man holding it together.

Just wreckage.

I gripped the counter and leaned in, staring at my reflection like maybe if I looked hard enough, I’d find the version of me that could make any of this better.

But all I saw was a man who had put someone he cared about in harm’s way.

Someone who had to go out there and explain the unexplainable to a four-year-old.

Pull it together, Stratton.

I dried off and threw on a T-Shirt and sweats before heading into the kitchen.

Knox was plating eggs and bacon and nudged his head toward the living room. “He’s up,” he murmured. “Watching cartoons.”

My heart dropped straight into my stomach as I nodded, then walked into the living room and spotted Grady curled up on the couch, Bunzy tucked under one arm, his eyes on the TV.

He looked so small.

So safe.

So fucking unaware.

And then he saw me and lit up like he spotted his hero. “Daddy!” He scrambled off the couch and ran straight toward me, launching himself into my arms. I caught him and held on tight, burying my face in his hair.

“Hey, buddy.”

He giggled and squirmed until I set him down, then grabbed my hand and tried to pull me toward the couch. “Come watch with me!”

I let him tug me a few steps before easing us both down. I sat, and he immediately climbed into my lap.

I held him there, just breathing him in. I didn’t know how to start, or if there was a right way. So, I just tore the invisible Band-Aid off. “Remember how Mommy had gone away to have her spa weekend?”

He nodded against my chest. “Yeah, but what’s a spa weekend.”

“Just something she was going to go do to relax.” I brushed my hand over his back. “But … something happened while she was driving there.”

His head lifted. “What happened?”

“There was an accident. Another car hit her, and she got really hurt.”

His face scrunched in confusion. “She got a boo-boo?”

“Yeah, a big one. She’s in the hospital right now, and the doctors are doing everything they can to help her.”

He blinked at me. “When is she coming home?”

I opened my mouth and had to stop. I didn’t know the answer. “I don’t know. It might be a little while.”

His bottom lip wobbled. “But she always comes home.”