Page 21 of Knotty Bargain (Monster Holidays #3)

CHAPTER 21

CORDELIA

T he warmth of the apple cider seeps through the paper cup into my fingers. Levi reaches for my hand, but I cradle the cup with both. It’s silly and immature, but I’m afraid. My heart twists, a bittersweet ache. The wedding is but a few days away.

Miranda hasn’t found a solution, but she believes that, since I didn’t use blood, there’s a chance the spell will wear off. My deal with Levi was until the wedding. He’ll soon return to Hell, leaving me behind like everyone else. Just another temporary presence in my life.

From the beginning, I knew he wouldn’t stay. And yet, I was foolish enough to let myself hope.

Levi studies me, black eyes probing. Today, he’s back in black dress pants and a t-shirt. Like the first time I saw him. “You seem distracted, Lia. Everything alright? You barely touched your pumpkin spice latte this morning.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. The nights we shared are seared into my brain. I’ll never forget how he focused always on my pleasure. How good he felt inside me. And how he makes me feel sexy and powerful.

But this entire thing was supposed to be fake. He’s from a literal different plane of existence. And he’s a king. He doesn’t seem anxious about how hell is faring without him, but I know he can’t stay away forever.

He’s having a vacation, but it’s only a vacation when you get to go home. To your stuff, your friends, your routine. Levi enjoys spending time with me now, but would he enjoy my nine-to-five routine? My working late hours sometimes and the noisy big city and not walking outside because it’s raining or snowing for days in a row?

This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done the spell and I shouldn’t have masturbated with the icon and I definitely shouldn’t have lied about having a boyfriend.

Above all that, I shouldn’t haveslept with him. That’s a line I shouldn’t have crossed. Now, my heart’s in it, too. I’m too far gone and seeing him leave will only hurt.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have slept together,” I murmur, staring at the sidewalk. “Our deal is almost done. My vacation is almost over. I’ll be going home soon and we needed to focus on figuring out how to unbind ourselves. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck here forever. Because of me.”

Silence hangs heavy between us as we continue walking. The wind whispers through the trees, sending a shower of golden leaves cascading around us. They’re falling much faster now. Some trees are already naked.

“Cordelia, there’s something I have to?—”

“I have to—”We both start speaking at the same moment, then break off.

A wry smile tugs at Levi’s lips. He inclines his head. “Go on.”

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. My hands shake. “I’m tired of the pretending, Levi. Of lying to everyone. We got... distracted by the mind-blowing sex. And multiple orgasms.” My face goes hot. “But in a few days, that will just be a memory when you go back to Hell and I return to my life. We need to focus on breaking this binding.”

Something flickers in Levi’s dark eyes, but he remains silent. He nods once, his expression distant. Unreadable.

I hug my cider close, letting the warmth seep into my chilled fingers. My heart hurts, but it’s going to hurt either way. Did I do the right thing, pushing him away? My heart whispers that I’m being a coward, afraid of vulnerability. Afraid of being left behind again.

But it’s better this way. Better to end it now before I fall any deeper. Before I give him the power to break me.

“What were you going to say?” I whisper, staring at my feet.

“Nothing.” He walks on. I pick up my pace to follow.

And I can’t help but wonder—did I just ruin this forever?