Page 49 of Knot Your Karma (Not Yours #1)
Karma
The hotel suite suddenly feels like a shoebox, which is ridiculous because it’s probably bigger than my entire shop, but apparently life-changing revelations make me claustrophobic.
I pace between the window overlooking Boston Harbor and the elegant sitting area where my pack watches me with the kind of patient concern usually reserved for wild animals that might bolt at any second.
The compass weighs heavy in my hands, and my feet trace the same path—six steps to the window, turn, eight steps to the couch, repeat—while I probably smell like anxious omega having an existential crisis.
“Okay, so I need to call my mom,” I announce, stopping so abruptly I nearly face-plant into the coffee table.
“Like, right now. She needs to know about Sterling and everything, and oh God, what if she freaks out? What if this gives her some kind of emotional breakdown and I have to explain that I accidentally reunited her with her high school boyfriend while stealing a compass?”
“She should hear it from you,” Declan says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“We can step out,” Reed offers, already getting up with that smooth way he has of making everything seem manageable. “Give you space for family drama.”
“No! No, please stay.” The words tumble out more desperate than I intended, my voice cracking like I’m thirteen again.
“I need pack right now. Like, all the pack. Maximum pack support for this conversation because I’m about to call my mother and tell her things that might make her cry for the next six hours. ”
“We’re here,” Adrian says quietly, which somehow makes my chest feel less tight.
I curl up in the corner of the couch where Adrian’s sandalwood still clings to the fabric, and Reed settles beside me so his thigh presses warm against mine. Declan positions himself where he can see both me and the door.
My fingers shake as I dial Mom’s number, hesitating over the call button like it might explode before I force myself to press it.
She picks up on the second ring, like she was waiting by the phone.
“Karma? Honey, is everything okay? You sound like you’re about to hyperventilate.”
“Mom, okay, so I need to tell you something and it’s going to sound completely insane, but I swear I’m not having some kind of nervous breakdown.” I take a breath that hitches embarrassingly. “It’s about Sterling Ashworth. Remember Sterling Ashworth?”
Silence. Complete, tell-me-everything silence that stretches long enough for me to wonder if the call dropped.
I can feel my pack going into full support mode behind me—Declan’s doing his protective assessment thing, Reed’s shifting into diplomatic crisis management, and Adrian’s just being that steady presence that keeps me grounded.
“Sterling,” she finally says, her voice going soft and unsteady like someone just sucker-punched her with nostalgia. “Oh honey. You met Sterling. ”
“He had the compass! The one I sold—the one that belongs to Declan’s family. And Mom, he invited us to his house tonight and it was like this whole romantic movie situation because he still loves you. Like, full-on never-got-over-you, carrying-your-graduation-gift-for-thirty-years loves you.”
“Oh,” she breathes, and I can hear the tears starting—that particular catch in her voice that means she’s about to completely fall apart in the grocery store or wherever she is right now. “Oh, sweetheart. What exactly did he say?”
“That you were the most remarkable woman he’d ever known.
That he’s regretted how things ended for thirty years.
That he worked at Grandma Rose’s shop, that you gave him a pocket watch for graduation.
” Tears blur my vision while Reed’s hand finds mine automatically.
“Mom, he kept it. He’s carried it every single day since high school. Every. Day. ”
She’s full-on sobbing now, those deep sobs that come from thirty years of suppressed emotions finally breaking free. “I thought... God, I thought he’d forgotten about me. When things ended so badly, when he said those awful things about your father, about my choices... I thought he hated me.”
“He said he was young and hurt and couldn’t handle the rejection. He takes full responsibility for being an ass, which honestly makes him more mature at fifty than most men are ever.”
“He offered me everything back then,” Mom whispers through her tears.
“Marriage, a future, stability, the whole white-picket-fence dream. But your father... your father was lightning in a bottle, you know? Dangerous and exciting and completely wrong for me, but I couldn’t resist the thrill of an alpha pack wanting me.
A beta. I chose passion over security and spent thirty years regretting every minute of it. ”
My chest aches for both of them—for the choices that seemed right at eighteen and the decades of consequences that followed. Reed’s thumb traces circles on the back of my hand while Adrian settles close enough that his knee presses against mine—silent anchors through the emotional storm.
“Do you still love him? Sterling, I mean?”
Another long pause filled with shaky breathing and the sound of tissues being murdered.
“I never stopped loving him, honey. Not even when I was bonded to your fathers, not through the divorce, not now. Sterling was... he was my safe harbor, you know? The person who made me feel like I could conquer the world. But I was eighteen and stupid and thought love was supposed to hurt.”
My heart breaks and soars simultaneously, tears spilling down my cheeks as I process thirty years of lost love finally being acknowledged. “Mom, he wants to see you again. He didn’t ask directly, but the hope in his voice when he talked about you...”
“Tell me about this compass situation, sweetheart. How did you get mixed up with Sterling’s business?”
I tell her everything. The theft, the guilt, the pack, the investigation, tonight’s revelation. She listens without judgment, making soft sounds of understanding while my pack’s presence anchors me through the difficult parts.
“And he offered you a job,” she says when I finish, her voice steadier now but still thick with emotion.
“Not just any job, Mom. The job. Head assessor for one of the most comprehensive maritime collections on the East Coast. Museums, auction houses, private collectors. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of professionally, and probably pays more than I make in three years at the shop.”
“But?” Mom prompts, hearing the uncertainty threading through my excitement like she’s got some kind of maternal radar.
“But it’s in Boston! It means leaving Anchor’s Rest, leaving my shop, leaving everything I’ve built from scratch.
And what if I’m not actually good enough?
What if I completely fail and embarrass myself in front of the entire maritime antique community?
What if he only offered it because of you and I’m some kind of nepotism hire? ”
“Karma Rose,” Mom says firmly, using that maternal voice that used to make me stand up straighter as a child.
“Listen to me very carefully, because I’m only going to say this once.
Sterling Ashworth is brilliant, successful, and absolutely ruthless about business.
He wouldn’t risk his professional reputation on nepotism, not even for me.
If he offered you that position, it’s because you’ve earned every bit of it. ”
“You really think so? Because I’m kind of spiraling here and my pack is being very patient about it but I can tell they’re worried I’m going to hyperventilate.”
“I know so, honey. Sterling could always spot talent before people saw it in themselves. Even in high school, he had this gift for seeing potential that others missed.” She pauses, and I hear her taking a steadying breath.
“If he sees something special in you, trust me, it’s real.
What does your pack think about all this? ”
I look at my three men, all watching me with expressions of love and support that make my chest feel too small for all the emotion building there.
My scent must be doing something because all three of them suddenly look like they’re trying not to smile, which probably means I smell like excited omega instead of panicked disaster.
“They want me to take it,” I say, voice catching with gratitude that threatens to make me cry again. “They’re ready to support whatever I decide, which is either really sweet or completely insane because we’re talking about uprooting their entire lives.”
“Sounds like smart men to me. How do you feel? Underneath all the panic and self-doubt?”
I close my eyes, reaching past the anxiety to find the truth beneath all the complicated emotions.
When I stop freaking out long enough to actually think about it, underneath all the panic is.
.. “Excited,” I admit, which surprises me because I was expecting more terror.
“Like, terrified but excited. Like maybe this is what I’ve been working toward my whole life without knowing it. ”
“Then you have your answer, sweetheart.”
“What about you and Sterling? What should I tell him when I see him again?”
Mom’s laugh is watery but genuine, carrying decades of suppressed hope finally allowed to surface.
“Tell him that Lilli Rose would very much like to have coffee with an old friend. Tell him that thirty years is long enough to carry regrets around, and maybe it’s time to see if some things are worth a second chance. ”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, honey. Now go accept that job before you talk yourself out of the opportunity of a lifetime.”
I hang up and immediately turn to face my pack. Something bright builds in my chest as I bounce slightly on the couch cushions, unable to stay still. Reed catches my hand, grinning at my barely contained excitement.
“She still loves him!” I announce, practically bouncing on the couch cushions like an overexcited teenager. “After thirty years, a bonding, and enough heartbreak to fill seventeen romance novels, she still loves Sterling Ashworth and wants to have coffee with him.”
“And the job?” Adrian asks quietly.
“She thinks I should take it. Says Sterling wouldn’t offer it unless I’d earned it, which coming from someone who knew him in high school carries some serious credibility.
” I stand up, electricity shooting through my limbs like I might burst if I stay still for another second.
“I want to take it. Not because it’s safe or because it solves my money problems, but because it’s everything I’ve ever wanted professionally and I’m tired of being scared of good things happening to me. ”
“So take it,” Reed says, like major life decisions are just that easy when you have people who believe in you .
“But what about logistics? I’d be based in Boston, traveling for assessments, working with collections all over the country.
” I stop pacing to stare at them, panic creeping back into my voice.
“How does that work with... with us? With pack? I can’t ask you to completely uproot your lives for my career advancement. ”
“We go where you go,” Declan says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and I’m silly for even worrying about it. “Pack means we figure it out together.”
“But your jobs! Your entire lives are here! Reed, your diplomatic work, Adrian, your construction projects, Declan, your business?—”
“Our lives are with you,” Adrian says firmly, standing to face me with that quiet intensity that makes my omega hindbrain sit up and purr. “Everything else is just details we can work out.”
“You’d really do that? Completely uproot everything for my career?”
“We’d do it for the pack,” Reed corrects, standing as well so I’m surrounded by their combined presence and the scent of absolute certainty. “For our chosen family. For the woman we love who finally gets to show the world what we already know—that you’re brilliant at what you do.”
The tears start again, but this time they’re happy tears—relief and gratitude and overwhelming love for these three men who see my dreams as worth supporting instead of obstacles to manage around.
“I want to call him right now,” I say suddenly, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. “Before I lose my nerve and start overthinking everything and convince myself this is all too good to be true.”
“Do it,” Declan says simply.
Adrian and Reed both lean forward, their anticipation mixing with mine until the air practically vibrates with positive energy. Through whatever magical pack bond thing we have going, I can feel their shared excitement—not just for me, but for all of us, for the future we’re building together.
I pick up the phone and dial Sterling’s number before I can chicken out, pulse jumping in my throat as excitement drowns out everything else.
He answers immediately, like he’d been sitting by the phone waiting. “Karma? Is everything?—”
“I accept!” I cut him off without hesitation, words spilling out in a rush of confidence and determination that surprises even me.
“The job, I mean. I accept the position. And my mom would like to have coffee with you. Like, very much would like to have coffee and maybe discuss how thirty years is long enough to carry regrets around.”
Silence on the other end, then a sound that might be Sterling crying or laughing or both, which honestly makes me like him even more.
“That’s... that’s wonderful news,” he says finally, his voice thick with emotion and barely contained joy. “Both pieces of news. When can you start?”