Page 33 of Knight School Chronicles Box Set

S he could not last any longer.

None at Ashford Manor had heard anything unusual happening beyond their walls. Yesterday, she and Amalia had gone to the village, where Evelina could not bear to pass by the chapel. Seeing it, and the grounds behind it, made her think of Gareth.

Not that she’d been thinking of much else.

“To love a man you cannot have,” she said as they passed through the gatehouse of Castle Blackwood, “is the worst sort of torture.”

“You will have him,” Amalia said, as she did every time Evelina made such a statement.

She was worried he would be injured, or worse—and then, when convinced by Amalia he was quite skilled and had been recruited for a reason, that he would be safe, she worried they would never be together.

If her father did not agree to the match, a foregone conclusion to Evelina’s mind, would Gareth truly leave the Guardians?

Would his honor prevent him taking her from Ashford?

“I am not so certain,” Evelina said as they made their way through the courtyard.

They’d gained entry easily enough, as Evelina was known here among the guards.

But finding Eamon would be much more difficult.

The grounds were vast, much more so than those at Ashford Manor.

“We will start with the stables,” she said.

“The stables? Should we not go to the keep first?”

“The stables are closer and if his horse is not here, neither will we find the man.”

“Or perhaps you just have a fondness for stables these days?”

Amalia had been teasing her since Gareth left.

Of course she’d told her all that had transpired, and though her friend thought the whole affair incredibly romantic, like something out of a courtly tale, Evelina knew the truth of it was bleaker than that.

Her love for Gareth, and his for her, did not mean they could be together.

“Perhaps,” she conceded as they entered. A stable hand immediately approached them. Or Amalia, at least. The look he gave her was a familiar one to Evelina now. She understood much better what it was to desire someone.

Evelina nudged her friend, who found her voice. “We are looking for Sir Eamon and perhaps wondered if his mount is here in the stables or...”

“He is not.”

Her shoulders shrank. It would be nearly nightfall by the time they returned if they did not turn back soon, and if she was not at the evening meal, Evelina would be forced to tell her father something.

Perhaps not that they had come here, as he’d strictly forbidden it. Evelina suspected it was less the secret nature of the occupants’ purpose but the availability of unmarried men that worried him.

“Thank you.” Amalia paused, as if waiting for the stable hand to offer his name.

“Edgar,” he said.

“Thank you, Master Edgar.”

He smiled, and Amalia returned it.

Though she clearly did not wish to leave, as Edgar was admittedly a handsome man, Amalia took her by the hand as the two of them exited the stables.

Just as the very person she wished to speak with rode up to them.

“Sir Eamon!” Evelina let go of Amalia’s hand and ran to the knight, startling his mount. “Apologies,” she said, backing away. Spooking a warhorse was not advisable, and certainly not one as large and menacing as Eamon’s.

Dismounting, Eamon looked at her curiously. “I am more than a little surprised to find you here, Lady Evelina.”

“And I you. We were told you were not here.”

“Which was true a moment ago but is no longer,” he said. “I will return posthaste,” he added, entering the stables.

“If you’d like to speak to the stable hand a bit longer...” Evelina said to Amalia.

Amalia’s cheeks reddened. “Perhaps I may.”

“Perhaps he needs your assistance with Sir Eamon’s mount.”

“You have a lightness about you since Gareth arrived that had been missing for some time. He is good for you.”

Evelina agreed. “Maybe Master Edgar will be good for you,” she teased as Eamon returned. Amalia winked and headed back into the stable.

“You do not have to tell me,” Eamon said, pulling Evelina with him to the side of the stable. “You come for news.”

“I do,” she said. “Of course Father will tell me nothing, and no word has reached us of any campaign. I know you cannot tell me where he is, but I am so worried. And this plan will not work,” she added, the words rushing out. “Father will never agree to it. I know him well. And if he does not?—”

“Evie, breathe.”

She did as he bid.

“I’ve not received word either, but do not think the men will be much longer.”

She needed more. “It was a dangerous mission. They say Fitzwilliam is among them. I’ve not known him to leave Castle Blackwood often these past months, which means the men needed his expertise. Coupled with Gareth’s, that could only mean a battle that is very different from your other missions.”

Eamon crossed his arms and peered down at her, eyebrows raised. “And how, precisely, do you know of our other missions?”

“I have ears, Eamon.”

“And use them well, apparently.”

“Not well enough, this time at least.”

“You love him.”

Evelina nodded. “Aye. Very much. You chose Gareth for his skill, and honor too. There is much to love.”

Eamon sighed. “Your father will not agree to it, even when Gareth returns a hero.”

When. Not if. Oddly, as if Eamon could somehow predict the outcome of the battle that he did not deny was happening, his choice of words made her feel more assured.

“What shall we do?”

“If your father knew I was complicit in this?—”

“He will not, Eamon. Surely you trust me?”

“I do, and care for you like a daughter, as you know. Evie, I’ve something to tell you. And should have done so many years ago.”

Evelina did not care for his expression. It was as if Eamon were prepared for her to be angry with him, something she’d never done.

“Eamon?” she asked, her heart racing.

“Ashford Manor had been in your father’s family for years, but rarely did his parents come here. After they were married, when your mother first visited, she fell in love with the manor. With the village. It was she who wished to take up primary residence here.”

Her mother. No one, Eamon included, spoke of her. “You knew my mother?” she whispered. How was it possible she did not know that?

“I did. Very well.”

Though it took her a moment, his words penetrated. She looked into his eyes, ones as loving and compassionate as any she’d ever known. And promptly burst into tears.

Eamon pulled her even farther behind the stables, where they would not be seen or overheard. And then took her in his arms as Evelina cried into his chest. How could she possibly have gone so many years without realizing it?

“You are my father,” she said. Though it was more like an accusation than a question.

He pulled back from her. “I am.”

She needed to sit, but there was nowhere to go. Instead, Eamon took her into his arms again, almost holding her upright. Bursting into tears once again, her entire life floated through her mind. All a lie.

She wanted to push him away and pull him close all at once. Her father’s coldness. Eamon’s fondness for her. Finally, for the first time in her life, it made sense. When she had no more tears left, Evelina took the handkerchief Eamon offered and wiped her eyes with it.

“Tell me,” she managed, standing upright on her own.

“She was as extraordinary as you. Intelligent. Kind.”

“Was?”

“Or is, I know not.”

Her shoulders sagged. For a moment Evelina had thought perhaps he knew if she was alive.

“We fell in love,” he said. “And I am not proud of the fact that we were together, as she was very much married to your father. When she realized she was with child, and that it could only have been mine, your mother was terrified.”

“I have so many questions. How did you think to be together but prevent a child? How did she know ’twas yours?”

“I will answer every question you have, Evie. But first I would explain your mother’s disappearance as best as I’m able.

You father was, of course, extremely angry, but there was a part of him, I believe, that was also pleased.

You see, they had been trying for many years by then to have a child and were not able. He claimed you as his own.”

“And you let him? How could you allow him to do such a thing?”

“It was either have you raised the daughter of a wealthy baron, respected and due to inherit title and lands I did not have, or be the bastard daughter of a disgraced baroness. I made the best decision for you, or so I believed.”

“Where did she go?”

Eamon shook his head. “I do not know, Evie. Your father did not make her life easy. He never forgave her for the transgression and was unkind to her, though never to you.”

“I would not call Father...” She paused. Except, he was not her father. “I would not call him kind.”

“Perhaps not, but he did not harm you in any way. Was not openly hostile to you as he was to your mother. I begged her by then to leave with me, hating the way he treated her. Then one day, she was simply gone. I spent many years attempting to find her, to no avail.”

Evelina did not know what to think. “Do you believe she is alive?”

Eamon sighed heavily. “A question I’ve asked myself many, many times.

’Tis the truth, Evie, I simply do not know.

She said often that he hated her but not you.

She did, I am certain, what she thought was best for you, removing herself from your father’s presence.

Oddly, it worked, as he did soften through the years. ”

“If the man I know is soft, I’d not like to know him when he was hard.”

“No, Evie, you would not.”

“All this time.” She could hardly comprehend it. “This is why you were always so kind to me. Why I would see you everywhere.” Evelina thought of the many times Eamon had appeared in her life.

“By then, the campaign for the empress had begun, Castle Blackwood being the first meeting place of what was to become the Guardians of the Sacred Oak.”

“Empress Matilda, the oak.”

“An oak. Symbolic of strength and wisdom. Of nobility and abundance. A title I myself created thinking of you. Evie, you are all of those things and more. I could not possibly be prouder of who you have become. And I am sorry I did not tell you sooner.”

If it were possible to be extremely angry at someone while also loving them, that’s precisely how she felt about Eamon at that very moment.

“I am sorry you did not tell me sooner too.”

“Your father forbade it. Said he would disinherit you if I ever divulged the truth.”

“So why do you tell me now?”

And then it hit her.

If she were to get her father’s permission to marry Gareth, it was this man, Sir Eamon, whose permission she truly needed. Her eyes widened.

“Precisely,” he said. “Though we will still need a plan.”

“There you are,” Amalia exclaimed, coming around to the back of the stables.

She caught Eamon’s gaze. He shook his head slightly.

He did not want her to tell Amalia. How could she keep such a thing from her maid and dearest friend? Evelina frowned. Eamon shook his head again.

“Shall I excuse myself?” Amalia asked.

“Aye,” Evelina said at the same time as Eamon said, “Nay.”

Of course, Amalia was confused. Though not quite as confused as Evelina. It was as if her life had suddenly been tipped over and spun around.

Perhaps, it seemed, she and Sir Gareth would be together after all.