Page 39 of Kissing is the Easy Part

“I’m so sorry, Ray.” Stepping in, I put my arms around him. His grip is heavy, and we hold each other with no words. There’s nothing else to say. After a while, I pat his back. “You be safe. I’m here for you.”

He points a wobbly finger at me. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Definitely.”

I shove him into an Uber and head back up to my room. Something scratches at the edge of my mind, but I fall asleep before I can figure out what it is.

Chapter Ten

Sean

The streetlights are eerie this time of night, casting long shadows on the pavement as I sit parked across from Flora’s building. The formulas were starting to blur, and I’d been rehearsing how to apologize for the past hour. Somewhere between calculating an electric field and setting up a rotational inertia problem, it hit me. She offered me something meaningful, and I brushed it off like it was nothing. I was going to tell her I didn’t mean to be condescending, insensitive, or oblivious. That I miss her. And then I called.

But she lied. Jessica and Sarah—sure.

I sit behind the wheel and stare at the front door, picking my cuticles until one tears and bleeds. I shouldn’t be doing this; I know how it looks. But I couldn’t think, couldn’t sit still, and I had to do something. I’m not even sure what I came for. I’m just here to . . . check. To prove I’m paranoid. There’s this restless urge to peek at the answer, even though I already turned in the test. Like if I don’t, I won’t be able to sleep.

Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe she’ll be back soon, and I can apologize in person.

When I call her again, she doesn’t pick up.

And then I see it. It’s like a volcanic eruption—I should run but I can’t look away.

Flora floats down the flight of stairs, stumbling beside Raymond Corbett. The soft glow of the condo lights outline them. They’re both wasted. They can barely walk in a straight line as they stagger down the steps of Flora’s building, clutching their sides, each other, and laughing.

Every muscle tightens. It unfolds before my eyes, a cruel show for which I’m the designated audience.

Raymond pulls her into a hug, and she lets him. Then hekissesher. I sit forward so fast the steering wheel digs into my ribs. Flora smiles and leans in for another hug. Longer this time.

She’s as beautiful as always, but right now this isn’t for me.Ray’s so fun, she tells me all the time. Subtext—he’s everything I’m not. They can swap gifts from Gucci and Prada, trade inside jokes, and toast with Dom Pérignon in their multimillion-dollar residences.

I let her dazzle me, and this is what I get for not going with my better judgment. Flora is a mistake I was dying to make. I fell for her bit by bit and now it’s too late. The way she doesn’t take herself seriously and jokes at her own expense. The curious yet genuine light in her eyes when she talks. She has that naivety rich people have, but it comes across as well intentioned. And underneath all that glamor, she has a vulnerability that turns me soft inside, and I just want to hold her and make everything okay for her.

But if I can see that, so can Raymond; so can every other guy who laughs at her wit.

Even after they say goodbye, I stay frozen in place. My fingers ache from gripping the wheel. It takes everything just to focus on breathing, to stop my thoughts from swallowing me whole.

The cold creeps in. I turn the key and drive away before I can do anything I’ll regret.

Tomorrow, I’ll take the test.

And after that, I’ll call her.

And I’ll ask the question that’s already sinking its teeth into the back of my mind:

Was any of this real?

Chapter Eleven

Flora

My mood is glorious when I get up on Monday. The air tastes fresher, my hair shines brighter, and even the Wi-Fi connection seems to be working better. Hanging out with Raymond turned out to be exactly what I needed, and thinking back, the fight with Sean wastotallyunnecessary.

I overreacted. I’ll apologize, come clean about Raymond, he’ll understand, and we’ll sing a duet and ride off into the sunset.

I can’t even remember why I lied last night—alcohol does make me stupid.

Sean calls me after his exam and basketball practice, and I suggest dinner. He comes to pick me up, and on the way to the restaurant, he barely says a word. A perfect blue storm forms behind his eyes.