Page 84 of Kiss Heaven Goodbye

‘My own thing.’

She smiled. That had always been his way. Miles was her complicated child. Charming, manipulative and in many ways brilliant, he had the raw tools to succeed at whatever he wanted to be. But he could be lazy, expectant, the polar opposite of Grace, who saw her family’s personal wealth as a reason to prove herself, not an excuse for coasting through life. Connie felt a stab of guilt. Had she failed as a mother? Why were they both so distant from her? Physically and emotionally, they had both ended up on the opposite side of the world. Now was the time to narrow the gap. She walked across to Miles and cupped his face.

‘You’re my son, Miles. You’re clever enough to succeed at anything. You can do whatever you want to do in life. But most of all I want you to be happy, so you take your girl and you go off and do whatever it is that makes you feel whole. I’ll always be there for you. No matter what.’

There were tears in Miles’ eyes when he looked up at her.?

?Thanks, Mum,’ he said simply. Then he hugged her and stood up. ‘Now I think I’d better go and find Chrissy. We’ve got to look after each other now.’

I hope it works out for you, my darling, Connie thought as she watched him go. It didn’t for me.

26

It was the biggest Christmas tree Grace had ever seen. Standing outside Palumbo Cathedral, the huge bushy ombu tree glistened and glittered in the warm night air, its branches and leaves tied with thousands of silver ribbons and streamers. For Grace, walking towards the cathedral for midnight mass carrying a lit candle, this Parador Christmas scene was strange and familiar at the same time. The small differences she noticed, such as the way people put nativity scenes on their front step, or how all the children wore white to symbolise ‘El Nino Dios’, the Child of God, made Christmas in Parador special, but also served to remind her how far from home she was.

Gabriel linked his arm through Grace’s and pulled her close. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Caro carrying Olivia, with Gabe’s uncle Hugo just behind, Joseph sleeping on his shoulder. Grace smiled softly and for once she felt at peace.

The following morning, there was a rowdy, good-natured breakfast and as everyone unwrapped their presents, the whole house was full of life and noise. Feeling full after an excellent late lunch, Grace retired to the conservatory, her favourite room in the house, with a glass of brandy. Gabriel had gone into Palumbo for a short visit to a mission and for once, Olivia and Joseph were asleep at the same time.

She sat in a wicker chair and watched as the view beyond the window slowly changed. Light was falling from the sky, and the jungle started to blacken against the ribbons of pink and lavender clouds. She sipped the brandy and thought about the phone call she had just had with her mother. Miles was married! She still couldn’t take it in. She supposed the shock might have been less had his new wife been Sasha Sinclair. She remembered how withdrawn the younger girl had been on that flight back from Nassau after their holiday in Angel Cay, how devastated she had seemed. Grace had almost been moved by her plight. Then again, she recognised Sasha as an operator, so she had often wondered whether she would reunite with Miles – after all, she certainly had leverage because of that night. That secret. But no, Miles had met someone travelling and had fallen in love, just as Grace had done in Australia. Had her brother changed? she wondered. Had he softened? She smiled at the thought. Not Miles.

‘Knock, knock.’

Grace turned to see Caro standing at the door of the conservatory. ‘I come bearing gifts,’ she said, producing a shiny red parcel from behind her back.

‘Ooh!’ said Grace excitedly, tearing off the paper to find a fancy-looking camera inside.

Both women burst out laughing.

‘I couldn’t let your photographic skills die once we left the Highlander, could I?’

Grace gave Caro a reproachful glance.

‘Tell me this is point and shoot.’

‘Nope. It’s got loads of expensive twiddly bits. You can be David Bailey with this piece of kit. You can take pictures of the kids, a photo diary of the election maybe, I don’t know.’

‘Wow. It’s fantastic. Thank you,’ she said, pointing it towards the horizon. It felt good in her hands. It felt like she had a purpose.

‘So where’s Gabe?’ asked Caro, sitting in the chair opposite her friend.

‘In Palumbo, at the mission.’

‘He never stops, does he? You have to hand it to him, campaigning on Christmas Day.’

‘It’s just a goodwill visit.’

‘It’s Christmas! He should be with you.’

Grace smiled to disguise her frustration. Caro had a point. These days she felt completely sidelined in Gabriel’s pursuit of votes. The election was still over a year away and yet he was away from El Esperanza six nights out of seven. Not once had she ever suspected him of unfaithfulness, but what she felt was worse: she felt abandoned. At least with another woman, she would have something tangible to fight against. But how did you compete with a whole country?

‘Join me for a drink?’ she asked, waving her glass in the air.

Caro shook her head. ‘Better not. I’m supposed to call my folks.’

‘In that case, I’m going to start snapping,’ said Grace excitedly. ‘I think Gabe’s got a box of film in a drawer in his study.’

‘Watch out for the porn.’ Caro laughed as she went.