Page 70 of Kiss Collector

After a couple of minutes my stomach calms and everything stays down.

Zeb stares at me from the couch with dismay as I drag my wretched self back to my bedroom and collapse on the bed.

My phone dings and my heart explodes in fear. I don’t want to deal with anyone.

When I see Kenz’s number, I exhale in relief. She is about the only person in the world I can handle right now.

Are u OK? What happened?

I’m sure she’s heard from Lin and Monica, and now she’s looking for my side of the story.

Instead of trying to text it, I call her, lying back on the bed with my eyes closed. I tell her every detail I can remember. Bless her, she murmurs and gasps in all the right places.

“I feel like Dean kind of led you on,” she says.

I pinch the skin between my eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe. He’s always been nice, though. I guess I just hoped, and I read him wrong... God, I’m so stupid. He never liked me.” The thought is like a kick to the chest.

“It’s okay, Zae. I probably would have felt the same, and I thought he was the one writing the poems, too. I don’t think they should have told him, and I said as much when I talked to them. Now I think they’re mad at me, too, but whatever.”

“I don’t want you guys to fight.”

“I don’t want them to fight with you either.” She pauses. “You’re not mad that they called your mom, are you?”

The thought of my mom is too much. “No. I mean, what other choice was there?” Worry prickles my neck. “Wait, howdid they get home?” If Lin had to call her parents, she would be in so much trouble.

“You don’t know?!”

“Oh, no, what?”

“It was a huge ordeal. Your mom drove you guys in the van. Then that Joel guy followed in your mom’s car, and his friend Kwami followed them to take Joel home once they got to your apartment.”

And I’m dead. I cover my face with a hand, as if I can hide from it all.

Dead.

“I should’ve been there,” Kenzie says.

“It’s not your fault.” My hand still covers my face. A small knock sounds at my door, and Mom opens it. “I have to go.”

“Okay, call me later.”

I disconnect and sit up as Mom sits on the bed. I know it’s completely pathetic, but I break down crying again. I have no idea how it’s possible to cry any more.

“I’m sorry,” I sob.

“Being the designated driver is a big responsibility.”

“I know. I do. I never drink like that. I just... I got in a fight with Lin and Monica. And...” I sniffle.

“Let me guess,” she says. “Over a boy?”

My face flushes with the shame of it, and I look down at my hands. “I can’t go back to school.”

“You can, and you will.”

I moan. “Please, Mom. I made a fool of myself. I screwed everything up.”

“And you’ll have to face it. Life goes on.”