Page 19 of Kingpin (Blackjacks MC #1)

Chapter twelve

Hattie

For the next two days, I kept getting distracted by memories of Neil’s hands on my body. The idea of returning to Seattle when all this was over should have been a welcome reprieve—to clear my head, to put distance between us.

Instead, it simply made me ache, empty and alone.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples as I met my gaze in the bathroom mirror. There was no denying that my feelings for Neil were just as strong as they used to be.

But did that change anything?

The Blackjacks still consumed so much of his life. Now that he held the Presidential seat, he was even more deeply entrenched with club life than before. Which would bring an entirely new set of challenges for me to navigate as his Old Lady.

During our marriage, he’d been promoted from Sergeant-at-Arms to Vice President. Adapting to the additional responsibilities placed on his shoulders back then had been difficult enough. It seemed as if bikers had been practically living in our home alongside us.

He would often get called away in the middle of the night, for God knows what. I gave up asking after a while when he wouldn’t tell me a damn thing.

Although I would never forget that day when Neil returned at three o’clock in the morning, with his arms coated up to the elbow in blood.

“It’s not mine, baby,” he said immediately, registering the horror on my face.

Neil never came home bloodied like that again. But I wasn’t stupid enough to believe it stopped happening. He just learned to hide it better, which made me feel even worse.

Emma whimpered from somewhere in the house. Connie sang softly, soothing her.

I braced my hands on the sink counter and blew out a breath.

My biological clock was ticking, and the countdown was nearly over.

The chances of getting pregnant at this age were growing slimmer by the day.

I could always adopt, but I didn’t want to be a single mom.

The dream of having my own family was gradually slipping through my fingers.

At this rate, I wouldn’t even have a husband to settle down with either.

I glanced at my left hand, tracing the smooth skin where Neil’s ring used to be. I could go back to him. He would welcome me with open arms.

Was I ready for that though? Was I willing to live on the edge of fear every waking minute, wondering if my husband would come back to me?

And being with Neil meant burying my hope of having a family.

He had no desire to be a father, and I couldn’t imagine he would welcome that idea now at fifty-five years old.

The alarm on my phone went off, signaling I had to get ready for the trial. It started in less than an hour.

Emerging from the bathroom, I found Connie in the kitchen, swaying Emma in her arms. Dark circles shadowed Connie’s eyes with exhaustion, and her ponytail was a ratty mess.

“I’m so sorry, Hattie,” she said. “Emma has been fussy all night. And I think Wylie is coming down with an ear infection. I fully intended to be there for you at the trial for emotional support, but…”

She trailed off, shaking her head.

“Oh, Connie, don’t worry about that.” I coaxed her to take a seat at the kitchen table. “Officer Shepard is coming to pick me up and take me to the courthouse. I won’t be alone. I’ll have police protection the whole time.”

I worked her ponytail band free, finger-combing the tangles out of her hair. Connie closed her eyes, leaning back into my touch.

“Are you sure? I feel so bad.”

“That’s because you’re tired and you need sleep." I twisted her hair up into a messy bun. “Where’s Nathan?”

Connie stifled a yawn.

“He left for work an hour ago, but he’s been texting me, asking about the kids non-stop already. He’s talking about taking the day off and coming back home to help me.”

“Good,” I replied, kissing the top of her head. “Then you can get some rest.”

“What about Neil?” Connie prompted.

I hesitated, grateful to be standing behind her so she couldn’t see my face. I patted her shoulder and turned away, fiddling with the coffee maker. Neil wanted to be there, but I warned him to stay away. Now, I was beginning to regret that decision.

“With his criminal record, he probably shouldn’t risk being anywhere near a courthouse.”

“I guess that’s true,” Connie mused.

A firm knock echoed at the front door. Probably Officer Shepard.

“I’ll get it,” I said, gesturing at my sister to stay seated.

Moving to the front door, I peered through the peephole first, to be on the safe side. Standing on the porch was Vlad’s hulking figure.

“Shit,” I hissed, yanking the door open. “What the hell are you doing here in broad daylight? There are cops watching the house.”

Vlad gestured to himself.

“I am the babysitter.”

My eyebrows shot up.

“Beg your pardon?”

“Your husband said the little ones should have extra protection today while you are at the trial,” Vlad replied.

Before I could say, he’s not my husband, Connie spoke.

“Hattie, who are you talking to—oh.”

She appeared in the entryway and froze, staring at Vlad’s massive silhouette on her threshold, blocking out the morning sunlight. He was so big that he had to duck his head to get through the doorway.

“Oh my God,” she whispered.

Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Connie didn’t need a biker invading her private home while she had a sick kid and a fussy baby to take care of. It was bad enough that she had to live with an unmarked cop car parked on the road around the clock now.

“Vlad, I thought—”

I broke off, staring up at him.

I thought you were supposed to stay out of sight.

I thought this was supposed to be subtle.

“I am very good with babies,” Vlad said, holding his arms out to Connie.

She clutched Emma tighter and took a step back.

“No, thank you. That—that won’t be necessary. I’ll take your word for it.”

Connie shot me a bewildered look. I grimaced. I tried so hard to build a life like what Connie had. But I was still tied to the Blackjacks. Neil and his club had been such a big part of my life for so long, that I didn’t flinch around these men, tattooed, untamed, and rough.

“I will wait then,” Vlad said in that crisp, no-nonsense Russian accent. “Until I am needed.”

Before anyone could protest, he moved into the living room and lowered his bulk onto the couch. The cushions bowed under his weight, and the springs groaned. He looked like he was living in a dollhouse too small for him.

“Mama?” Wylie shuffled out with a sleepy squint, wearing his pajamas with the cowboy hat print. He rubbed the side of his head. “My ear hurts.”

He stopped mid-step and stared at Vlad, eyes widening.

“Hello, little man,” Vlad said with a nod.

Wylie blinked, silent, reaching out to grip the skirt of Connie’s nightgown for reassurance.

Vlad retrieved two of the toy cars on the floor. He raced them over the landscape of the couch cushions, making zooming noises and screeching tires. Then the toy cars crashed in a dramatic collision, complete with sound effects.

Wylie grinned and ran over to Vlad, grabbing a car from the floor to play along.

Connie came to stand beside me, lowering her voice.

“If I had known I would be entertaining company, I would have put on a bra, at least.”

“Hey, look, don’t blame me. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

She squinted, suspicious.

“You’re not, actually. I didn’t spend a decade married to a biker, Hattie. I’m not used to this, but you are. There is a freakishly giant tattooed man in my living room at eight o'clock in the morning, with no warning or explanation. That might be just another Tuesday for you, but it’s new to me.”

I hesitated, running my hands through my hair.

“Neil is just looking out for all of us,” I said at last.

“Are you back together?”

I sputtered.

“No. Definitely not.”

Because I can’t figure out that part yet.

I wanted to be together. The logistics of it were a different matter though.

Wylie climbed up onto the couch and nestled into Vlad’s lap, still rubbing his ear.

“I’m tired,” he said. “And I don’t feel good. I don’t want to play anymore.”

“Then you should close your eyes and sleep, little man,” Vlad replied. “I will watch over you.”

My heart clenched. Maybe I’d been chasing a pipe dream for all these years. Wrapped up in visions of a white picket fence neighborhood and a husband who spent his time playing catch in the backyard with his kid. Instead of coming home soaked in someone else’s blood.

What if this was it for me? Connie was the stay at home wife and mother, with the warm, saintly maternal instincts. Not me. I fell in love with a man full of sharp edges and bared teeth. I fell in love with a man who killed for me, and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again and again.

Maybe Neil and I were supposed to burn hot and bright instead, like a shooting star. Hurtling through space at a million miles an hour. Destructive and explosive, but my God, we were glorious, breathtakingly passionate.

Despite my misgivings and resistance about club life, the Blackjacks ensured there was a seat at their table for me. These men had protected me at Neil’s word. Looked after me and respected me, like Big G did.

Vlad, seated on my sister’s couch, could probably crush a human skull with his bare hands. Instead, he tucked my dozing nephew's delicate body into the crook of his arm, smoothing his big palm over Wylie’s tousled hair.

I’d been so focused on my dreams for a better future, that I never realized I was already surrounded by family. It wasn’t the sweet, idyllic family I’d envisioned for myself, the one I craved. It wouldn’t be a neat and tidy life with Neil either.

But it would be our life, our family—one we built together.

“Hey, honey,” Nathan said as he stepped into the house, a paper bag in one hand, a large bouquet of sunflowers in the other. “I stopped at the drug store on my way home. Picked up some pain relievers for Wylie, and some flowers for you—”

He broke off mid-sentence at the sight of Vlad seated on the couch.

“What the—?”

I took him by the elbow and steered him toward the kitchen.

“I have a lot of explaining to do,” I said, apologetically.

Twenty minutes later, Officer Shepard turned into the driveway. I waited for him on the porch, hoping to prevent him from having any reason to enter the house.

I hadn’t told Connie and Nathan everything—skipping details like the dead intruder and sex with Neil—but they knew enough to understand the necessity of Vlad’s presence now. Even though that didn’t put them at ease.

Officer Shepard climbed out of his car and opened the passenger door for me.

“Ready to get this over with?”

“You have no idea,” I replied.

“Have you had any trouble this morning?” He asked. “Threatening notes, phone calls…”

I thought of Vlad’s figure darkening Connie’s doorstep.

“No, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Really?” Officer Shepard circled around to the driver’s side and turned the car onto the road. “The officer on duty reported a very large man knocked on your sister’s door about half an hour ago.”

I cleared my throat, brushing an invisible speck of dirt off the skirt I’d borrowed from Connie.

“Just a neighbor stopping by for coffee.”

A beat of silence filled the car.

“If there’s anything you’d like to tell me off the record, now is the time to do it,” Officer Shepard said.

“Like I said, there’s nothing to report, Officer.”

He sighed and shook his head.

“I could have your sister’s house searched,” he countered.

“On what grounds?”

“Suspicious activity. It’s a vague enough excuse to keep my options open.”

If he had any intention of doing that, he wouldn’t be tiptoeing around the subject now. Officer Shepard was purposefully not probing too deeply for fear of seeing something he’d have to cover up.

Neil had warned me many times before that bikers and cops weren’t friends. But on rare occasions, loopholes were developed, where paperwork disappeared and damning evidence went missing without a trace.

I didn’t know what kind of dynamic my ex-husband had with Officer Shepard. I knew where my loyalties resided though. So I stayed silent.

“Shit,” Officer Shepard muttered.

Up ahead, the courthouse came into view. Lined along the curb were bikers, seven in all, wearing the Blackjack colors. I pressed my lips together to hide a smile. Neil was at the front, leaned up against his bike, legs crossed at the ankles, dark shades shielding his eyes.

“I warned him to stay the fuck away,” Officer Shepard grumbled.

“Neil doesn’t really like being told what to do,” I replied.

“I can see that."

Officer Shepard stayed practically glued to my side as he led me into the courthouse. Neil watched my every step until I was safely inside. Five minutes before the trial was about to start, the heavy tread of footsteps made me twist around in my seat.

The Blackjacks filed into the courtroom, boots shuffling, chairs scraping.

“Dear God, they’re like a herd of wild animals,” Officer Shepard said under his breath.

Neil and his crew claimed the second row of seats behind me in the courtroom.

I recognized some of them—Gatling, Spike, Blackbeard, Big G, and Credence.

But there were other faces I hadn’t met at the clubhouse the other day, especially the sole woman among them. I knew Vlad was at my sister’s house.

How many more men did Neil have waiting in the wings?

It was impossible to miss the club, looking out of place in their leathers and tattoos amid the stuffy, rigid courtroom with wood paneling and polished benches. They weren’t even trying to blend in either. Their appearance was a big fuck you.

They weren’t afraid to show that they were loud and proud, unwanted misfits of this proper society that had rejected them.

And they were here to back me up.