Page 38 of Kingdom of Betrayal and Unknown (Kingdom of Bellhollow #1)

S everal days have gone by since I saw Kieran punished in the middle of town. I’ve gone out to the forest, hoping to see him, but he didn’t appear. Does he not want me anymore? Does he resent me for him getting whipped because he looked at me?

My heart has been getting heavier with each passing hour. I cry every night before I go to bed as the guilt festers inside of me. If only I wasn’t out there, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Skylar asks.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just recovering from the punishment I had to witness the other day,” I gently reply.

“You were there for that?” Skylar turns to me. “Oh, you poor thing. I know how much you hate violence.”

I shrug. “It is what it is. It was just very last minute, and I wasn’t prepared at all.”

“I wish I was there to witness it. There is just something about watching Fae getting whipped that turns me on. Maybe it’s because I know they deserve it,” Skylar declares.

I stare at her in shock. I was not expecting her to say something like that. I know she doesn’t like them, but I didn’t realize she hated them that much.

“Don’t look so shocked.” Skylar scoffs. “You should feel the exact same way.”

“All he did was look at me for a couple of seconds,” I point out. “I don’t know how that warranted twenty lashes.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” she brushes me off.

“That’s okay. I don’t really want to talk about it either,” I reply. I don’t want to think about any part of it, and remember that it was my fault. “I’m going on a short walk before I go back home. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Skylar gets up and walks away.

I take a deep breath and head toward the forest. Maybe Kieran will be there this time. Maybe I’ll get to talk to him or one of his friends and see how he’s doing. That is, if they want anything to do with me now.

What if they are all angry at me because I was the reason he got whipped? I push that thought to the back of my mind. Positive thinking.

“You are really determined to see him, aren’t you?” A Fae woman steps out from behind a tree.

I take a step back. “I’m here to just walk in the forest. I’m not looking for anyone.”

She scoffs. “Don’t lie to me, Adeline. We all know who you are and what you mean to Kieran.”

My mouth falls open as I look at her. I was not expecting that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just love nature and want to be out here,” I lie again, trying to recover from my slip-up.

The Fae woman takes a step closer to me. “Kieran told me to keep watch on this part of the forest in case you show up.”

Kieran told her that? Did he send her here to tell me he wanted nothing to do with me anymore?

“At first, I thought he was bluffing, but seeing you come here the past couple of days proved him right. Though I knew my High Lord wouldn’t lie to me about something like this. So I decided to take pity on you today and talk to you,” she continues to speak. “I’m Zahra.”

“Does he hate me? Is he mad at me?” I ask before I can stop myself.

Zahra looks shocked at my questions.

“I’m not mad at you,” Kieran announces, stepping out from behind the same tree.

Was he there the whole time? Was he going to see how long I was going to lie or last in front of Zahra?

“It seems like you are,” I reply.

For some reason, I can feel the anger rolling through him, and I just know it’s pointed at me. Who else would it be pointed at? The first emotion I feel through the bond is anger, and I don’t blame him.

“You can leave, Zahra. I’ve got it from here,” Kieran dismisses her.

Zahra waves at me before she leaves, and Kieran takes several steps closer to me.

“I’m not mad at you,” he replies.

I shake my head. “I can feel it. You are mad, and you are mad at me !”

“You don’t get it. I’m not mad that I got whipped for looking at you. I will get whipped a thousand times to look at you again and again,” Kieran says.

“Then why are you mad?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. “Why could you possibly be mad at me? It’s the only logical reason why I can feel your anger. It has to be pointed at me!”

Kieran shakes his head. “You really don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” I glare at him like he’s crazy. “You aren’t making any sense to me.”

“I’m mad because you almost put yourself in danger to try and save me.

I’m mad because you had to watch me get punished.

I’m mad because you cried tears for me, sad tears and I couldn’t do anything.

I’m mad because I couldn’t comfort you after I got hurt.

” He takes several steps closer to me. “I wish everything were different so I could have held you when you were in distress, but I couldn’t. ”

I open and close my mouth several times as I try to come up with something to say.

“If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t not look at you.

I would and I would take the whipping again.

But one thing I wish I could change was you having to watch.

I wish you didn’t have to see the cruelty of your people,” he calmly says.

“There are so many things I wish I could go back in time and change so you would have a better life, so you wouldn’t have to watch violence.

But what happened in the square isn’t one of them. ”

I shake my head. “No.”

“I would take one thousand lashes if it meant I got to look at you for another second,” he whispers, cupping my face.

I press onto my tiptoes, tears pooling in my eyes as we stare at each other.

“You don’t mean that,” I choke on my words. “You don’t mean it. Tell me you don’t mean it.”

“I do, and I always will. No matter what, if it means I get to look at you and I have to go through a little pain, I will do it. I will always do it.” He wipes away my tears.

A ball forms in my throat as I blink away the other tears.

“That was just a little pain?” My voice is hoarse from emotion.

“Yes, because I knew after that you were safe and that I got to look at you. Going through that pain was nothing,” he gently explains. “Pain to me is something like you getting hurt or whipped. I will not stand for that, and it will cause me far more pain than getting twenty lashes.”

“How are they?” I ask.

Kieran lets go of my face and stands tall. I clench my jaw, wanting to ask him to place his hands back on my face. I need to feel his skin against mine.

“I know,” he whispers. “I want to as well.”

“You?” I look at him in shock.

“You said that through our bond. I want to continuously touch you as well, but we can’t. When we are together, yes, but that isn’t very often.” He smiles. “But I will take any time with you. Even if it’s just a couple of seconds.”

My heart flutters at his words, my knees weak.

“My back is healing,” is all he says.

“Can I see it?” I ask.

I need to see that he is okay. I need to see it with my own two eyes to make sure.

“I don’t want to upset you.” He takes a step back.

Shaking my head, I take a step closer to him. “I want to see it.”

“Addie,” he gently says.

“No. I want to see it. It’s my fault you got hurt.” I put my foot down.

Kieran blinks several times. “You think it’s your fault that I got whipped?”

I look away and nod. It was my fault. If I wasn’t out there, then Kieran wouldn’t have looked at me and he wouldn’t have gotten into trouble. He wouldn’t have had to take those twenty lashes for me.

“Sweets,” Kieran coos at me. “It’s not your fault. It will never be your fault that I got whipped. It was all on me. I looked at you and knew that with the prince being so close to you, there could be consequences. It was not your fault and it will never be your fault. Do you understand me?”

“But if I wasn’t there,” I start to point out.

“If you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have been able to look at my mate.

If you weren’t there, you wouldn’t have brought a little light to my day.

If you weren’t there, we wouldn’t have been able to see each other,” he says.

“I know I got whipped, but it was not your fault. I don’t want you to think that way. ”

Kieran moves my head so I’m looking at him. Tears coat my eyes. He takes a step back and pulls his shirt off before turning around.

Gasping, tears run down my face as I see the angry-looking scabs forming on his back. Some of them are still oozing blood.

“Kieran.” My voice cracks. “Oh my goodness.”

With shaky hands, I reach out, close to touching his back, but I don’t. I don’t want to hurt him any more than he already is.

“They aren’t healed.” My words shakes as I say them.

Kieran turns back around and puts his shirt back on before cupping my face with his hands.

“They are healing. A lot of them have scabs forming, and soon after that, they will be all healed. It takes time, but it’s happening.

The healer has done everything she can without her magic to help them heal faster. ”

“But why do they look so raw?” I ask, tears still streaming down my face.

“They lace the whip with a poison that makes it take longer to heal,” Kieran replies before pulling me into his embrace. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m going to be okay.”

I desperately want to wrap my arms around him and hold on for dear life, but I don’t want to hurt him.

“I’ve got you,” he gently says.

I let his arms stay around me, making me feel safe and comforted.