Page 235 of King of Pain

She sends him and Sophia off to pick a game.

Jen returns, scooping Joey up mid-run for a hug. “Hi, Auntie Jen!” he calls as he wiggles free to join Sophia.

“Now, where’s the birthday girl?” Lexi asks.

Ant laughs. “Probably changing her dress again.”

I snort. “That isyourdaughter.”

Ant points between me and Lexi. “No—that child isyou two, through and through.”

“Compliment received,” Lexi quips, winking.

Ant shouts, “Mary, honey, can you come here?”

Hearing her name—Ma’s name—used for our daughter willneverstop hitting me square in the chest.

When we went with Lexi to find out the gender of the little bundle she was carrying for us, I asked Ant if we should make a list of names. Ant shook his head, laid his hand on Lexi’s belly and said, “Mary.” I broke down on the spot.

Mary comes skipping in—sure enough, new dress—and launches into Lexi’s arms. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Lexi says, spinning her.

“I love you, Aunt Lexi.”

“I love you too. Always,” Lexi tells her, and sets her back down.

Mary runs over to Ant and lifts her arms to be picked up. He doesn’t resist. He never can.

My husband scoops Mary up and balances her on his hip. “Happy birthday, my special girl,” he whispers, and rubs his nose against hers.

She giggles. “Daddy, you already said happy birthday to me.”

Ant smiles, “Well, I’m probably going to say it hmm,” he pauses for dramatic effect, “one hundred thousand million times more.”

Mary rolls her eyes, then says “Daddy?”

“Yes, Mary?”

“Show me, show me, um, show me how you do that trick,” she demands.

“Which trick?”

“The one that makes me laugh,” she says.

Ant makes her wait a second, then tickles her into a giggling fit. She throws her arms around his neck and says, “I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, my beautiful baby girl. So much.”

Ant and I exchange a soft look, then he sets her down. “Why don’t you go play with your brother and Sofia and Uncle Beau. Lunch will be ready in a little bit.”

Mary nods her little head and runs off again.

Mary and Joey have been healing for both of us, but especially Ant. To be able to provide the protection and love missing from his childhood—it’s given him a front row seat to what a loving home looks like. He gets to grow up all over again through the eyes of our children.

Jen points at Ant. “Don’t start crying, Pacini. You got my womb—you don’t get my tears.”

Lexi winks. “I’ll cry with you, Anthony.”

Jen sighs dramatically. “Fine. But I’m still disappointed we couldn’t do this the old-fashioned way.” She waggles her brows at Ant.