Page 2

Durin

I’ve just finished my breakfast, and I’m itching to get out of the castle. As much as I try not to think about it, the new season is almost here. I want to be close when the queen steps out to connect with the realm. I plan to follow her and see what takes place during these visits.

I burst through my door, hoping to get away without being stopped by anyone. But waiting for me, like a wound that refuses to heal, is Folas’s ugly face.

“The queen will be holding a celebration for you in three days,” he says, his smirk spreading wider with each word. “You’re to remain on castle grounds until the event. It hasn’t escaped notice how little time you spend in the castle. You’re not to leave until the celebration is over and you’ve been presented as Consort.”

I’m tempted to just go ahead and kill him and tell the queen he was too annoying to bear. It wouldn’t be a lie.

“A celebration in my honor?” I ask with a wicked grin of my own. “Does that mean I get to strangle the messenger?”

His smugness falls away. His body tenses as he searches my face to see whether I’m serious. I reach for his throat, and he bolts down the corridor toward the common areas. His ratty green hair bounces behind him, and his robes become tangled between his legs. I laugh loudly at him until he disappears from view.

While I like this new method of getting Folas out of my sight, I need some fresh air to process what he just told me. As I make my way to the courtyard, I try to calm myself and accept that I’m a prisoner here for the next few days.

Really, I’ve been a prisoner all along. My confines are just smaller now.

Folas never said it, but it was implied that I’d be watched. I won’t be able to spy on the queen during her trip out into the forest.

I also won’t be able to check on Rue. I can’t even find Farris and ask him to watch over her for me. She’s so close to delivering our pup. I’m stuck here with the scum of the realm while my son could arrive at any moment.

A cold wind whips at my face, a chilling reminder of the nightmare that looms ahead. The Still Season is here. The queen will summon me to her bed again. I have three long days to worry about Rue and dread the new scars I’m about to add to my collection.

As I brace myself against another icy gust, I can’t shake the feeling that this time, the wounds will cut even deeper.

***

“Why didn’t she hold this celebration sooner?” I ask aloud, not really expecting Sarra or Leah to answer.

I’m lying back in the tub while they bathe me for my special day.

“She always holds them during the Still Season,” Sarra says softly, pouring her calming magic into my skin.

“Why’s that?” I scoff. “Because it matches her cold, dead heart?”

“Maybe,” Leah says, squirting some oil into her hand. “You know how dead the ground looks around the castle? It’s colder here. And darker in a different way. All color and warmth just get sucked away.”

“Sucked away, or sent away?” I ask.

“I’m not sure,” Sarra says, rubbing her fingertips into my scalp. “Anything bound to the castle slowly loses its hue. The walls, the drapes, tables… even the servants who never leave. Anything you see with color hasn’t been here long.”

“Your hair…” I say, thinking of all the silver-haired servants I assumed were glamoured to match the castle.

Sarra nods. “She doesn’t allow us to glamour ourselves. So, our hair remains this way once the color is gone.”

“What about Folas?” I ask. “His hair isn’t white, but he’s no noble. Who the fuck is he?” I snap, slamming my hand into the water and splashing it across the floor.

Leah gasps and shields her face against the sudden spray. Sarra blinks at me as a drop of water slides down her neck.

“Sorry,” I tell them, immediately regretting my outburst. I wave my hand over the wet spots, using my heat to dry them. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”

“It’s okay,” Sarra says. “No one really knows much about Folas. Only that he’s always been here, and no one is allowed to touch him.”

“I probably would have sliced him up myself otherwise,” Leah says, nonchalantly.

I gape at her as she tugs at my arm, signaling me to stand. Sarra chuckles as they rinse me off.

“Maybe one day, you’ll get the chance,” I say, giving her a wink.

Both fae look knowingly at each other, then focus on drying me off. They dress me in gaudy white robes adorned with intricate gold embroidery and tiny gems. The gems grab the light and throw it back, making me glimmer as I walk. I prefer to go unnoticed, but tonight, even my gold-trimmed boots shine. I step out of my room, feeling like a damn accessory. An adornment for the queen’s wrist as she flaunts her wealth and beauty before her commoners.

Two guards immediately lead me to the main entry of the castle. Folas is lucky it isn’t him escorting me. I doubt I could hold my temper if I were to see him right now.

As we approach the grand doors, I find the queen waiting for me. My stomach immediately sours. She’s a far more repulsive sight than Folas would have been.

She typically dresses in pale colors, but today, she’s draped in a gown of pure white, the layers of fabric flowing around her like a veil of snow. The only hint of color is a light blue, frost-like crest stitched delicately down the front of her skirt.

Her ashen crown rises with sharp, icicle-like peaks studded with gems and gold. Her pale skin and hair blend seamlessly into her garments. She looks like a snowfae a group of younglings might have crafted.

I muster a smile for her but envision melting her into a puddle with her own magic.

Without a word, she grabs my hand and pulls me out the door into the chaos outside. It’s nighttime, but the lawn is bright, glowing with strings of blue calantar blooms and a large fire in the center of the courtyard. Fae twirl and dance around the flames, their glamours falling from their faces as they relax and indulge.

The musicians, already a few drinks in, fall in and out of tune as they sway and stumble. No one seems to notice their mistakes. They’re too busy enjoying their glowing elixirs or deep green wine. The sweet, sticky scent fills the air and nauseates me even further.

The fun clearly began well before we arrived. Some fae have fallen to their lust, happily indulging themselves right on the lawn. Other fae are playing tricks with their magic, laughing at the harmless mischief between them.

The bloodlust is quiet here. Even the nobles appear unthreatening as they take part in the fun.

But the music cuts off when the musicians catch sight of the queen. Guests stumble into bows before her as she passes. She inhales the crisp night air with a smile, as if the atmosphere itself can rejuvenate her.

I doubt anyone is looking at me, so I don’t bother forcing a smile. I just follow her to the two thrones perched on a raised platform near the front of the castle.

Hers is a replica of the one in the throne room, white and intricately carved. The one for me is as vibrant as my room’s decor, stained with rich reds and blues and adorned with enough gems to excite a whole den of gryphons.

As she lowers herself onto her throne, the many layers of her gown billow around her. It’s ridiculous. She looks like she tumbled into a snowdrift and became stuck in it. I hide my scoff with an exaggerated bow, then lower myself onto the smaller throne at her side.

“My dear, perfect fae,” she begins, her gruff voice grating in my ears. “Creatures who embody the very essence of Faerie. You deserve all its spoils and the respect of other species who dare encroach on its lands.”

The way she feeds their pride and hatred of the other species sickens me. What could it possibly do to benefit her? While she drones on endlessly, I wonder how she became queen. When she became queen. Answers no one seems to have, though I suspect we’d all love to know.

These answers would be the most helpful. But I doubt they’re possible to find.

“You’ve seen him among you, steadfastly guarding our realm as an honorable soldier of my court,” she continues, pulling my focus back as she speaks of me. “He has surpassed my expectations with his dedication and remarkable abilities.”

She looks down at me with feigned affection and respect before turning back to the crowd. I grit my teeth and stare out toward the forest. Soon, I’ll be out there where I belong. If I can just get through this torturous evening.

“Tonight, I stand before you to introduce not merely a noble, but the embodiment of royalty itself. I present to you my most formidable soldier and beloved consort–Durin. May his presence inspire you all to unleash the full power within you.”

The fae stand and cheer, sloshing glasses and vials of their drinks. It’s disgraceful how they hang on the queen’s every word. I stare into the crowd as they return to their merriment. I’m too repelled by her empty words to feign any humility or grace.

I can feel her looking at me, but my eyes are stuck on the jubilant fae. They’re spoiled and secure. Anything they desire becomes theirs. All while the shifter I love is stuck hiding from them in fear.

“What is troubling you?” the queen asks. “It almost seems you’re not honored to be by my side.”

I’m grateful again that her questions often allow for multiple interpretations. “I want a drink,” I say, turning to face her. “Would you like one?”

She blinks in surprise before a hoarse laugh catches in her throat. “I’m done here. Join me in my chambers once you’ve had your fill.”

She goes to stand, but reverses, relaxing back down onto her throne. “How’s my magic?” she asks, lightly. “Have you had to use it?”

I was so close to being free of her. Now, she wants to chat about something I know more about than I should. I need to get away from her. Keeping my composure is a battle. All I can think about is roaring in her face and cutting off her head.

Do it… my bloodlust whispers to me. No one would expect it here in front of everyone.

I want to listen. It’s tempting advice. Except for the fact that, even if I succeeded, I’d be killed by the nobles strolling proudly around me. The thought of never seeing Rue again and never meeting my son quickly brings back my rational side.

“It feels strong,” I tell her, faking a smug smile. “I haven’t had to use it, but I want to.”

“In time, Durin,” she purrs, seeming pleased with my answer.

It takes every bit of my strength to swallow a snarl when she reaches out and touches my face. Her slimy magic seeps into my skin, racing toward that hidden place where my own resides. I feel the icy tendrils scrape at my magic, then pull a fragment with it as it withdraws.

At first, I worry she’s reclaimed her magic, but I realize she’s only taken a small amount–the magic I’ve nurtured since she first shared hers with me.

Having someone steal any of my magic away from me is horrifying. But I can sense a barrier within me. The rest of my magic remains locked away, untouchable. She tried to take more, but she only succeeded in siphoning what I’ve managed to grow.

By the look in her eye, she thinks she just discovered a bottomless well of power. If I don’t get rid of her soon, that’s exactly what I’ll become. Unfortunately, I’m not prepared yet. Right now, my focus needs to be surviving the part of the night that will take place in her bed.

She rises gracefully and glides back toward the castle, smiling at the fae who bow as she passes. I’m not sure whether to be thankful she’s gone or angry that I have to see her again so soon.

But if I have to endure another night in her bed, I might as well be drunk for it. I get up and stomp toward a table where the fae have been filling their drinks.

“Fuck the empath,” I grumble. “I’ll just drink to survive this time.”

I freeze when I hear someone chuckle behind me. “I’m not really up for a fuck right now,” he says, clearly amused. “But I’d be glad to help you through your duty tonight.”

I turn and see Daylor, the empath, smiling at me between curtains of his long purple hair.

“I apologize,” I mutter, not sure what else to say.

“No, it’s me who should apologize,” he says, stepping beside me and turning to watch the crowd. “I was unable to assist you last time.”

So, I was right about him. He was helping me after all.

“It’s okay. I got through it,” I mutter, feeling some of the tension fall away.

“The queen had commanded me to work with the lost mixed fae shifters that day,” he says.

A mixture of hesitance and hope washes over me. But I don’t feel them as if they were my own. He must be projecting his own emotions onto me. Showing me that I can trust him.

“Doing what with them?” I ask, allowing my interest to show.

He takes a breath and clasps his hands in front of him. “The queen sometimes has me try to convince the crazed ones that they’re whole again. It never works. But I always give it a good try. I would love to end their distress.”

I wonder if he’s talked with Kahras about me. Perhaps he’s come to trust me after learning my emotions, which speak loudly to who I am.

“She wants you to do what Kahras’s elixirs cannot,” I guess.

“Right,” he says. “But despite my best efforts, it doesn’t work. She walks away frustrated, often taking it out on me. Last time was particularly harsh. I was with the healer when she summoned you.”

I think about his distinctly crooked nose and wonder if it’s related to the queen’s abuse.

“Fuck… I’m sorry,” I tell him, feeling my bloodlust stirring to life again at her cruelty.

“Don’t fret about me. Just… be successful in whatever you do. I’ll be there to help you tonight.”

Before I can thank him, a familiar head of orange hair catches my eye. The sight of Farris moving through the crowd overwhelms me with relief. He can check in on Rue and explain to her why I haven’t come.

I watch him scan the area, looking for me. When our eyes finally meet, I expect a grin. Instead, a look of panic unfolds across his face.

He’s not here to visit or enjoy the celebration. He’s not the solution to my concerns about Rue. He’s here to deliver a whole new problem for me to deal with.

From the looks of it, it’s a nasty one.

He shoves drunken fae out of the way as he approaches, finally stopping in front of me. He glances at Daylor before saying anything. The empath graciously moves along to give us some privacy. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Farris speaks two words that gut me more than what’s waiting for me in the castle.

“Rue’s missing,” he says, tapping the glass in his hand anxiously.

I’ve shared everything about Rue with him. He knows where the hideaway is. He knows about the pup. He knows exactly how much they mean to me.

“What do you mean, missing?” I ask, feeling the familiar cloak of dread wrap itself around me.

“I hadn’t seen you in a while, so I decided to check on you. I figured your Omega’s little hideaway was a good place to start. But when I got there, it was silent. Too silent.”

“They were probably sleeping,” I say, trying to convince myself. “Or maybe they heard your footsteps and were afraid.”

“I thought that at first, too. But I got a bad feeling. I was already illusioned as a sprite, so I snuck into the hideaway to look around. They were gone, Durin. And it looked like they left in a hurry.”

My heart sinks into the cold, dead ground at my feet.

She ran from me? Now? After all this time, she chooses to leave?

I should have been more affectionate. It makes no difference if I wasn’t strong enough to tell her my secret yet. There was no reason I couldn’t at least tell her how I feel about her.

But another reason occurs to me. Maybe she hadn’t actually forgiven me for denying her in the cave. She’d been planning to leave this whole time. To hurt me like I hurt her.

I lower my head, carved out and empty inside. I don’t know where to go from here. Should I even try to find her if she wants to be rid of me? Can I possibly manage to finish my mission knowing she’s gone?

“I think she was taken,” Farris says, pulling me out of my spiral of despair.

“What?” I ask, looking up at him while I try to put together what he said.

Is he just trying to make me feel better? Or does he really think she’s in danger? Either way, I’m stuck here, helpless to do a damn thing about it.

“There were pawprints,” he says, handing me his drink. “Durin, I think whoever she was running from might have found her.”

My heart pulls itself back together and begins thudding viciously in my chest. I chug the drink down, letting the liquid calm my thrashing bloodlust before I lose control and make a scene.

My instincts are screaming at me to get out into the forest and unleash my fire on anyone or anything that gets in my way of finding her.

But the queen is expecting me tonight. If I don’t show up, she’ll have me hunted down and possibly even killed. Then, the pup will have no father and be raised in whatever hellish shifter camp Rue has been dragged back to.

“I’ll try to track her down,” Farris says, gripping my shoulder firmly. “When can you get out of here?”

I glare at my ridiculous robes and growl in frustration. “Probably not until the morning.”

“Okay. Meet me just inside the trees,” he says. “I’ll do everything I can to find her until then.”

I grip him in a hug, releasing him quickly to avoid drawing attention. “Thank you.”

He gives me a bow, one I’ll have to punch him for later, before darting away in a flash of orange. I toss my empty glass and stomp toward the castle, barely containing my rage.

But beneath the anger, I’m unraveling as I imagine what might be happening to Rue. Even worse, what more might happen before I can reach her. My duty is to protect her and our pup. But I’m on my way to stroke the queen and her ego instead. I’m desperate to get this over with.

Daylor falls into step a short distance behind me, and I can already feel his influence. It grows stronger as I get closer and closer to the queen’s chambers.

By the time her door is shut behind me, I’m on fire with false desire. I disrobe and give the performance of my life, then escape to my room to pace nervously until first light.