Page 10

Chapter Nine - Luka

M orning comes with weak light and Luka’s breath fogging the bloody dawn when Theo pulls him from the nest of their fur cloaks.

“What is it?” Luka whispers after they’ve yanked on their boots, glancing at Cathalan and Xyla. Though one of their group stayed awake during the night to keep watch and stoke the fire, it was still cold enough that each of them paired off to sleep, huddling close for warmth. Cathalan presses tight to Xyla now, his face vanishing into her shock of tangled red curls. When she grunts and shifts, he follows her movements.

Luka blushes at the sight of them, and eases the door to the small house shut behind him.

Outside, the sky glows with pre-dawn light. The sunrise is impossible to make out beyond the warm golds and reds of clouds and pale mountains. Luka’s feet crunch through frost-hardened snow as he follows Theo from the house.

“What’s wrong?” In the quiet, with the only sounds breaking the soft morning being their footfalls, Luka feels he must whisper.

It’s not just the silence of the morning, but also the mood of the town; this is a solemn place. The only house left standing is the one they made camp in, but Luka can make out the slumped shapes of wood and stone broken into rubble, slumbering beneath the snow like a bear awaiting spring. But the buildings here don’t feel like they’re sleeping. It feels like they’re dead.

Theo extends his hand back toward Luka, his fingers pink against the cold. When he speaks, his breath fogs the air. “I want to show you something –before they wake up.” He glares at the cabin.

Their shelter looks pitifully small –lonely –against the horizon. A single cabin choking out the remains of their fire in thin, smoky belches, a smudge against the sweep of snow.

Luka takes Theo’s hand, twining their icy fingers, and together they crunch along. The walk takes effort – they didn’t bother with their snowshoes, and they must move with care. In places where the snow didn’t freeze solid overnight, Luka sometimes sinks to his thighs and Theo has to lift him free.

They make their way up the opposite hillside with effort. By the time they reach the top, Luka is puffing and blowing, sweat gathering beneath the thick wool of his sweater. He pulls off his knit cap, mopping his brow.

“Will you tell me what this is all about now?” Luka says. “Are you still mad that I kept secret what happened between me and Cathalan –oh, don’t look at me like that, you know I didn’t mean it that way –”

“This isn’t about that,” Theo grumbles, though the dark look on his face says otherwise.

When Luka’s lips part to protest, Theo shakes his head, squeezing Luka’s hand. He’d kept his grip on Luka the entire climb up the hillside. “It’s not about that,” Theo says again, this time in a whisper. “Look.” He jerks his chin out.

Luka, hands braced on his knees and panting, looks up. His jaw drops as he takes in the view: the sunrise paints the valley scarlet. New morning light falls gently as kisses across the white winter. Up here, the noises from below carry; not silence, as he first thought, but soft birdsong and the curl of the wind. The air is sweet and chilled, and a small smile grows on his face as he takes it all in.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Luka whispers, squeezing Theo’s hand. “I’m sorry again about… what happened.” He closes his eyes as he remembers the executioner’s block – the fear knotted in his throat as he thought for an instant that they were too late –and the relief when he realized it was another’s head rolling from the stand. Relief, shortly followed by a terrible guilt.

Theo exhales sharply. “Commander Jennison knew what he was doing,” he rasps, his voice heavy with grief. “He died so we could escape.”

Luka’s stomach constricts. Carefully, he says, “I’m sorry, Theo. That was –”

“Not your fault,” Theo says, his expression gruff at first, but he softens when he looks at Luka’s face. “He… he told me he was dying. That this would at least give his life some purpose.”

“Oh, Theo.”

“He did this for us, Luka. So we might build our own lives.” Theo’s hand finds Luka’s. Theo’s skin is cold and rough but so comforting as their fingers twine.

But we aren’t free. Luka presses his lips together. No, they’re still bound to their mission.

Muscles jump in Theo’s jaw as he turns them away from the sweeping view. “This is beautiful, but not why I brought you here.” He attempts an awkward smile, and Luka raises a brow. Theo rushes on before Luka can speak, “I brought you here to introduce you to… to them.”

Before Luka can make an absolute fool of himself and ask who? his eyes land on the two stones nearly buried beneath the new snow. Theo releases his hand and brushes the white away so the rocks gleam beneath the morning sun.

“These are… these are my parents,” Theo says, crouching with his back to Luka. His voice drops so low, Luka has to step closer to hear. Theo’s hand remains on the rock, his grip tightening.

Luka struggles for words. What happened? When did they die? None of it feels like the right thing to say. Instead, he crouches at Theo’s side.

“Hello,” Luka says. “Nice to meet you.” The words feel silly at first, but as he looks at Theo’s tortured expression out of the corner of his eye, he calms. “My name is Luka Lockehart, and I’m in love with your son.”

The graves do not reply.

Luka presses his hand to the first grave and then the second, laying his fingers over Theo’s and squeezing. Shocking cold numbs his palm.

“You have a very nice son,” Luka continues after a beat. “He’s rude and terrible at following instructions. He also thinks the only way to do anything is his way –”

“Hey!” Theo says.

“ – but he’s also extremely loyal –sometimes funny – and also has a really, really, really big –”

Theo glares at him.

“ –heart,” Luka finishes smiling. “That’s why I love him so much –because he has so much capacity for love. And kindness.”

Theo’s face softens. “Only for you.”

Luka leans forward and kisses Theo gently. Theo’s lips are cool and chapped from the wind, but they always feel so good on his mouth.

“What happened to them?” Luka asks after he pulls away.

Theo’s face sharpens as he grits his teeth, but he holds Luka’s gaze as he says, “A fire.”

“We’re right on the Balivartian border,” Luka says after Theo goes silent for a long time. “Is that why this place looks like…?” He gestures to the town below, partially obscured by the bend of the hillside.

“Yes.” Theo still holds Luka’s gaze. “It was during my battles with the Snake of the South – with your husband. And I had to make a decision: win a battle so I could secure a promotion to Vell , or save my family.” Theo’s eyes go glassy and he blinks rapidly.

Luka’s brow furrows. Theo is a Sevell –the military rank second only to Vell . Was he demoted after this took place?

“I tried to save them instead,” Theo says. “And I failed. I lost my family and my chance at a title.”

“Oh, Theo,” Luka whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

Theo stares past Luka now, his nostrils flaring. “You would think one day their deaths would start to hurt less. That one day, I would be able to…” He pauses, the muscles in his jaw flexing. “You know, before I met you, I was so afraid to love someone like I love you. I was afraid that because I was so weak –because I am so weak –something like this would just happen again. And I knew –I knew –if something like this did happen again, I would just break.”

Luka shifts closer, pressing his knee against Theo’s.

Theo continues, “That’s why I was invading Siacchi. I wanted to prove myself to the Elders –I wanted to show myself that I was strong enough to accomplish something like that. And yet I failed, time and time again. I was even his prisoner.” He stares at his hands, still thin from the days he spent in Cathalan’s prisons.

“But you are strong,” Luka whispers in bewilderment. “Theo – you’ve withstood so much suffering. You’re incredibly brave. You’re an amazing tactician not because of your intelligence –”

Theo winces and Luka rushes on.

“ – but because of your inability to give up.” Luka places his hand against Theo’s cheek. “I love you, Theodori Hunter Wolf-Born. You have always been strong enough to deserve my love, and I have always been...”

At this, Luka falters, his own mother’s words hounding him. You’re an idiot. A fool. You mustn’t let anyone else know. Those long hours Luka spent studying, hating himself for not being what his mother wanted. His beast curls in him, instinctively shrinking, and Luka shoves the memories away.

“And I have always been good enough to deserve yours,” Luka finishes, meeting Theo’s eyes. He blinks, shocked to find Theo’s gaze damp with tears.

“I love you, too,” Theo whispers. “I love you. I love you, Luka Lockehart.”

They fall into each other’s arms, and Theo buries his face into the bend of Luka’s neck, inhaling him deeply.

They cling to each other for what feels like a long time. Long enough for the snow to melt beneath Luka’s trousers and soak through, chilling him.

Theo murmurs in his ear. “What if we just run now? Together, we can break into Cesscounthe. We’ll steal Cassian away in the night.”

“And my mother’s unborn child?”

“We’ll cut her open and steal it, too.”

Luka laughs despite the ghastly image, and pulls away from Theo. He thumbs away his mate’s tears.

“No, my love,” Luka whispers. “I can’t leave all those people behind. Xyla is right; it’s not just Cassian suffering from the danger that is my mother. And I helped her to power by being the perfect son all those years.”

“That’s not true, Luka.”

“It’s true enough that I know I have to do something about it.”

Theo offers a small smile. “Alright.” He casts a watery glance at his parents’ graves. “I’m glad you got to meet them.”

As Luka parts his lips to say, me too, a cry sounds up from below, and his skin cringes with a sudden wave of burning pain. Cathalan.

“Luka? Luka!” the voice shouts.

And then: “Theodori! I’ll even take the Wolf Prince! Hello?”

“That damn Snake,” Theo growls.

They both stand and move to the crest of the hillside. At the dimple of the valley, Cathalan emerges from the cabin, wrapped in blankets to shield him – ineffectively – from the morning sun. He looks around in a way that seems… panicked?

“Xyla!” Cathalan shouts, his voice carrying around the valley. “Luka!”

Luka glances at Theo. “Time to go back?” Luka asks.

Theo nods, resigned.

“We’re up here!” Luka shouts, waving his arms.

Cathalan’s eyes dart about as he hunts the sound. When his gaze lands on them, the sharp line of his shoulders eases. He steps back into the shade of the cabin’s roof while Theo and Luka make their way down the hillside.

It’s only when they draw closer that Luka realizes Cathalan is vibrating with nervous energy.

“Is Xyla with you?” Cathalan asks.

Luka shakes his head.

“Did you see her?” Cathalan presses.

“No. When we woke, she was… she was with you.” Luka tries not to blush at the shockingly intimate memory of Cathalan and Xyla intertwined.

“She actually did it,” Cathalan whispers, shocked.

“Did what? Speak plainly,” Theo says.

Cathalan hands them a crumbling scrap of parchment. “She left this for us. She went back to Cesscounthe. She says she doesn’t trust any of us to help, and that she has to do this on her own.” Cathalans face hardens with a despair that Luka doesn’t understand as he whispers, “She’s gone.”

It takes the better part of the morning to fix breakfast and talk Cathalan down from going after Xyla. Luka’s own fears do nothing to help. Xyla is strong, yes, but taking on Cesscounthe alone is – reckless. Why wouldn’t she trust me with her plan? Why would she just go? Luka worries his lip.

“It’s not the best move,” Luka says for the fifth time after Cathalan finishes muttering about how he could catch up with Xyla if he left now, and when he caught up with her, he could convince her to come back. And it’s the truth: it isn’t the best move. Even when he plays out their next steps on an imaginary Cesse board, that much is clear. Xyla should have seen as much with her cold, calculating Siacchian logic.

But then Luka recalls the betrayed look on her face when she learned Cathalan was not simply a Balivartian noble, but King of Balivartia. Perhaps she is less logical than he thought.

“And why do you care so much?” Theo grumbles over their morning bowl of gruel at Cathalan. Luka shoots Theo a look that Theo ignores.

Cathalan blinks, his gaze lingering on the door before he whispers, “I’m not sure.”

“It’s not the best move,” Luka says again, imbuing his voice with steel. “She’s probably in wolf form, and she’ll move much faster on four legs than you can on two.”

“Especially since the sun is out,” Theo adds, narrowing his eyes. “And you’ll only hurt Luka by leaving.”

Cathalan presses his lips together as he approaches the door, squinting into the day. The outside world is brilliant and white with snow, and the sun reflects so brightly off the hillside that it fills the house with false light.

“She will get hurt,” Cathalan mutters to his hands, his brow furrowing.

Luka stares at the man. Never, in all his years of knowing him, has he ever seen Cathalan fall to pieces like this. They left Darri, the closest thing Cathalan has to an actual friend, back in the nest of the enemy, and for Thought’s sake, Cathalan did so with only minor hesitation and regret.

But this? Worrying over a woman he shared a prison cell for maybe a week and a half with like she’s his –

Luka narrows his eyes.

That’s impossible.

…Right?

“Cathalan,” Luka starts.

Cathalan swings his head toward Luka. His eyes are shockingly red-rimmed and heavy with bags. He stares at Luka hopefully, almost child-like.

Luka thinks of when he and Theo were separated. The pain he felt – the inability to think clearly, beyond how he could ensure they reunite again, safely.

But Cathalan isn’t an impyassus . He has never reacted in such a way to any problem. Cathalan is methodical, always plotting, scheming. Never overwrought. He shouldn’t have such thoughts.

Unless…?

Luka opens his lips, but he aborts the question before it can leave his tongue. Instead he says, “The best way to help Xyla isn’t by chasing her down.” He thinks back to their conversation the night before. “It’s by getting allies to help Siacchi.”

“Then the best way to do that would be for me to go home,” Cathalan says.

“No,” Luka says, trying to keep frustration out of his voice. “Asking for border soldiers for support is one thing, but you can’t just go home without the alliance you promised to your people. No – you’ll need proof that you were successful in the north. You’re still a new king, Cathalan.”

Cathalan blinks. Luka is surprised to see – hurt? – cross the king’s face. Cathalan recovers quickly though, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you saying they won’t believe my authority if I demand we supply aid to Siacchi, Luka?”

Luka’s shoulders relax despite the undercurrent of anger in Cathalan’s voice. This is ground he understands.

He meets Cathalan’s gaze evenly, saying, “You’re forgetting your siblings.” Images of Cathalan’s angry brothers and remaining sister flash in his memory – how hungry they were for power. They wouldn’t dare hesitate to take advantage of whatever fumbling misstep Cathalan might make in his mission to help Xyla. “If you go back now, they will try to take the throne from you.”

“They can try,” Cathalan scoffs, but his anger sharpens to understanding. He glares at the sun outside, as if his frustration can dim it.

“Instead, we need to go back to Akull,” Luka finishes.

“Luka…” Theo begins, but halts when Luka holds up a hand.

“And you can’t come with us.” Luka fixes Theo with another look. “No,” Luka continues before Theo can speak. “Cathalan and I will go back together.”

His gaze drifts past Theo to their slumping shelter. To the hard-packed dirt floor, cold beneath his feet. To the scatter of their breakfast and the still-smoking fire. Behind his stare, the Cesse board grows, and their scattered position clarifies in his mind’s eye. His mother’s voice nags him, You’re a fool, an idiot, no son of mine , but he pushes it away. Cassian is counting on me.

All impyassi in Cesscounthe are counting on him.

“We made the mistake of treating Akull like a potential ally when we first approached,” Luka says, standing so he can pace the cramped space. “But we need to think of them as the beast they are. If they see us as vulnerable prey – as Octavian made them think – then they will treat us as such. Instead we need to bluff.”

“To lie,” Cathalan finishes. He meets Luka’s gaze, understanding dawning.

“Yes,” Luka says. He shapes their story quickly, the lies easily falling from his lips: “We will tell them that the South is already halfway to Cesscounthe. They will be grateful to learn that shortly, impyassi civilians and Balivartian soldiers alike will be liberating Cesscounthe. And once they understand the situation, Akull won’t want to lose face. They’ll want to withdraw their soldiers and decry those who disobey.”

“Like Octavian,” Theo whispers.

“And Cesscounthe will turn against its own traitors,” Luka says. Like Linne Lockehart.

This way, I can save Cassian and all the other impyassi suffering under my mother’s rule.

The small hovel falls silent as the three consider Luka’s words, the scuffing of Luka’s boots against the dirt floor the only sound.

Finally, Theo says softly, “You’re right.”

Luka’s head snaps up.

Theo continues, “I can’t go with you. I am a traitor to them. It will be much harder for you to convince them to do anything if I am at your side. And if they try to hurt me…”

At the thought, mindless rage grips Luka, and he jerks to a halt.

Theo sighs. “Exactly. If they threaten me, your judgment will be instantly clouded, Luka. And we can’t have that. Not with these stakes.”

Not with Cassian and all those other lives on the line.

“But…” Luka starts to say, even though he knows Theo is right. Even though it was his own idea.

“We can recover Darri and my soldiers,” Cathalan says. “Ensure their security and gather Akull soldiers as well. We’ll have them ride with us to Cesscounthe – we’ll still technically be their prisoners, so they have no need to trust us. It’s brilliant, Luka. As we approach Cesscounthe, those occupying the city won’t know that the Kiterans are just coming to assess the situation… not if we have them approach so aggressively. The Siacchians will think them enemy soldiers, and the occupying Kiterans will think something has gone wrong. My own people can… aid the Siacchians in the chaos.”

Luka searches Theo’s face, but all he can find is resigned exhaustion. He pushes past the automatic panic at the thought of them separating again, focusing instead on the firm outline of his mental Cesse board. He lays out the three of them, thinking through the plan with them together – and with them separate.

With Theo, those in Akull will be less likely to listen. They will be hostile – and angry. It will be personal. Besides – they can’t hurt Luka without hurting Cathalan, and the Elders won’t want to risk another war.

Without Theo, Luka will be alone.

And alone, Luka is weak. He can’t defend himself. His hands shake at the idea of leveling a weapon.

What other choice do I have?

Luka bows his head. “Fine,” he whispers. “We leave you behind, Theo.”

The comforting warmth of Theo’s hand hovers above Luka’s shoulder, but it doesn’t land as Theo pulls away.

“I’ll go after Xyla,” Theo says. “I’ll explain the rest of the plan to her so the… the Cesscounthe rebels are ready when we arrive.” He presses his lips together. “Yes, I’ll be able to handle it alone after I find their rebels. I’m sure of it.”

An odd look passes between Theo and Cathalan, but before Luka can study it, Theo looks away, his lip curling.

“We’ll leave at nightfall,” Luka says. “When it’s safe for Cathalan and I to travel.”

The thought makes him want to crumble. How many times will he have to separate from Theo with the understanding that they might… that this might be the last time they’re together?

Luka closes his eyes, whispering softly, “Will this get us peace?”

Theo’s arms wrap around him, warm and smelling of sweat and pine and the perfect warmth of a campfire. “If we win.”

“And what will it cost?” Thoughts of Theo wounded – Theo dead – Cassian hurt or tortured by Linne –

“Whatever it takes,” Theo answers. “Now enough of that. There’s something more I need to show you before we go.”