Page 24
Story: King Luna (My Shy Alpha #3)
N oah won his fight against Tāne today, but I wouldn’t know it by looking at him: deep scowl lines have embedded themselves into his cheeks as we walk the Kiruna Pack halls. This frown has remained plastered to him ever since he returned from Reid’s side in the medic hall.
I have the feeling he doesn’t want to talk about it.
While tonight’s win ended in celebration, I’m all too familiar with how any large emotion can register as distress to the mind, including happiness or relief—especially in minds like ours that have been physically altered by trauma.
But when Matthew gave us a taste of the violent reality we’re facing, and in such a sudden, shocking way, the rapid succession of events may have been a toxic cocktail for Noah’s PTSD. I have emotional whiplash too, my stomach sour and sloshy.
When we come to the end of the hall before our room, Noah stops, staring at the door.
His breath heightens. I brush his hand, and Noah flinches.
When we meet eyes, there’s a split second my mate is unrecognizable. Wild, alert eyes stare back, roaming across my face like it’s the first time he’s seen me all day.
Then Noah snaps out of it, jerking his focus from me to hurriedly unlock the door. “S-sorry...”
I sweep my fingernails across his back. “Are you thinking too hard, gorgeous?”
Noah simply nods.
My insides curdle. I follow Noah into our suite, waiting until I’ve locked the heavy door behind us to soften my voice. “I love you for who you are, okay? You’re safe.”
Noah wraps his arms around my waist, nuzzling into my neck. After a few minutes of slow rocking in each other’s arms, Noah sighs.
“I’m so tired.”
I guide Noah across the room, rubbing my comforting scent on his arm as we walk. “Get in bed, my love. I’ll come join you after brushing my teeth.”
Noah’s drawn eyebrows hurt my heart as he tosses the duvet back. He drops into bed with a heavy bounce like he’s too exhausted to hold his own weight. I drape the covers over him, kissing his cheek, but Noah grabs my hand just before I leave.
“Thank you.”
I lean over him, brushing the hair from his forehead. Each kiss I plant there slows Noah’s blinking—until he finally shuts his eyes.
A stabbing pain strikes my heart; the underlying panic still hasn’t left Noah’s face, the space between his brows crinkling in distress.
We haven’t had a single moment to talk about it since everyone arrived, but in the back of our minds, a looming chaos remains. Any second of any day, a stray pack of furious Alphas could show up to attack, and there’s nothing we can do about it. With how loyal wolves remain to one another, we have no leads—no clue of what’s coming for us or when.
Which is exactly why Noah needs his rest. I better hurry and cuddle him to sleep.
Padding to the bathroom, I shut the door as softly as I can. I hand-comb my hair as I pee and brush my teeth, struggling to stay focused with the unease in my heart.
Then I freeze.
Fuck. Our bond swings in a way I’ve never felt before—like a speeding pendulum. Hurrying off the toilet to wash my hands, I scoop water into my mouth, swishing as quickly as I can to rinse any remaining toothpaste. But it’s happening too rapidly; our bond is spiraling, descending.
By the time I lift my head from the sink, my eyes widen back at me in the mirror with Noah’s plummeting emotions.
His pain is so severe that it feels like someone is hurting him.
I sprint from the bathroom to find Noah lying perfectly still in bed.
But our bond screams just the same. I grip the hem of his loose, black T-shirt I threw on as pajamas, unable to keep my lungs from tensing around each breath.
“Noah?” I whisper.
No response.
I take another step, attempting to get a clearer view of him.
“Noah? Are you awake?” My voice shakes, but not as heavily as Noah’s shoulders.
His back is still to me. But now that I’m frozen in place and holding my breath, I can hear his rapid pant.
And my own fears explode.
What if he’s having a health crisis?
Time slows. My foot inches off the ground, taking forever to complete a single step forward to reach him. Once I’m a few steps closer, I find his eyes staring deep into the wall.
I gasp. “N-Noah? Are you dissociat—”
Noah jerks toward me the second he spots me—like he's ready to attack. I yelp, stumbling backward.
Wild, furious eyes stare back at me from the bed. “Shit! Don’t sneak up on me.”
Hugging our baby, I pant in pure panic. Who is this I’m looking at?
I inch closer, desperate to ease the fear from his tightened features. “I-I didn’t, I was calling out—”
“Stop! Don’t move!” Noah growls.
I come to an abrupt halt at the end of the bed.
Noah grips his head, sucking in rapid, laborious breaths. “Fuck, sorry. I’m freaking the fuck out. I don’t want to hurt you like I hurt my mom.”
I bite my lip, wavering on what to do next.
Noah isn’t dangerous, especially not simply because he has PTSD. But he has a point: I hurt him badly during a flashback too. The scar on his forearm lightened from how much I’ve tried to heal it, but it still makes me sad. I don’t want Noah to feel more guilt.
Except I’m not seeing or smelling an angry Alpha.
Right now, there’s a shivering, hurt, Omega-scented wolf in our bed, fighting to the edge of his life to seem like a threatening Alpha. Not because he’s part Alpha, but because there are many days he’s an “Alpha” as a protection method.
Anguish burns my body, reverberating down to my bones. It takes everything within myself to steel my voice. “What do you need?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then, can I hold you, love? My instincts are dying to protect you.”
Noah lets out a short, pained groan, turning his back—as if avoiding the sight of me would protect me. “N-no. I’m scared of hurting you.”
“Okay, then I’m coming closer to the bed to talk, but I won’t touch you until you feel comfortable with it. Is that okay?”
After a long pause, Noah nods.
I kneel at his bedside, sweeping my palms over my belly with slow, steady breaths. Noah grips his forehead, flopping onto his back. His chest struggles through every breath as he gazes up at the ceiling, his eyes racing back and forth.
I soften my voice. “Are you seeing something repeating?”
He takes in a shuddering breath, contemplating my words. Then he exhales. “I think s-so, actually.”
My stomach sinks. I’ve never seen him in this deep of a trauma response, but from how horrific I know it feels, my whole being aches for him.
Luckily, this hell is temporary, and it’s a hell we both have experience in surviving.
Okay, wolf, let’s think about how to help our mate. When we first arrived at the Summit, Noah mentioned he forgets things around his traumas, so despite his hesitation on what’s happening to him tonight, I’m fairly certain he's having flashbacks. And since Noah’s first instinct was to walk me through my last severe flashback episode, that must be what works for him too.
“Tell me what you’re seeing, love,” I say.
Noah groans. “I don’t know. If I try to talk, I can’t remember what I’m so stressed about, but it’s there.”
“That’s okay. Just tell me if you see anything. I’m here to walk through it with you so it doesn’t keep looping. Mindlink it if you have to.”
Silence stretches throughout the room, but my heartbeat thumps louder by the second.
Until Noah’s breath hitches like he's reflexing against a hit. “Oh, fuck—”
I jump up, protecting my belly with both hands as Noah’s scent warns of extreme danger.
“There you go. You're remembering it now. If you can’t start at the beginning, pick any part of it. Let it out. You’re remembering it because it’s a memory . It’s not the present, where you’re right here with me.”
Noah’s still covering his eyes, but his teeth chatter as his body shakes harder. It breaks my heart.
“H-he—” Noah’s swallow is so thick that I stoop over, struggling to breathe through the shared pain in my chest. “He wasn’t that bad at first. He was actually nice sometimes. That’s what’s embarrassing.”
I slump. “I’m not embarrassed by you. And ‘nice sometimes’ doesn't stop someone from being abusive. I believe you, Noah.” Gripping my own arms, I struggle to steady my voice. “And I believe your body. It’s telling us it experienced trauma, and what it’s feeling is real .”
Noah’s stressed huffing reverts into tight, held breaths, Noah struggling to suppress tears. “W-well, eventually it was traumatic, I guess. A-and I... I couldn’t stop smelling like an Omega to make him stop hurting me. I tried so hard to stop.”
My heart sinks, dread burns in my bones...
And Noah’s terrified, Omega scent floods the room.
He has never made more sense to me than at this moment. His every hidden inflection, his arguments with his Omega mother over traditional Lycan gender roles, and the way he’s fought for Omegas like hell; he knows the consequences of being born as one.
So when Noah still decides to show me his truth, despite all this hurt that was done to Noah’s Omega side, my Alpha musk explodes, begging me to act. To protect my Omega, always and forever.
I clench my fists at my sides. “You’re doing so great, my love. I’m right here, ready to support you.”
Noah suddenly reaches for my hand, his breath heightening.
I cling to him tight, letting out a happy sigh. “There you go! Can I hold you?”
The second Noah nods, I climb onto the bed. My wolf frantically squishes the comforter, primping my nest until we’re surrounded by a fluffy barricade.
Then I drag Noah beneath the covers like it’s our den. “I’ve got you, Noah. You’re safe.”
He shudders in my arms, gripping the fabric on my back. I nuzzle him, my wolf eyes in full control as they adjust to the darkness beneath the blankets.
To my surprise, Noah fawns for me. But when I realize it’s from a trauma state, I whine.
“My sweet mate...” I cup my hand over his scent gland, protecting it for him. My every heartbeat releases a wave of soothing scent until Noah’s eyelids flutter. “Good job, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
I surround Noah with my whole body beneath the covers, cuddling his head into my chest. Thankfully, he snuggles in.
“I-it’s still happening,” he whispers.
“Okay. Then tell me anything you see, and I’ll be there with you this time. Imagine me helping you through it.”
He whines like I’ve never heard him, alighting my nerves with his fear. “I don’t want you to have to hear it.”
“Because you don’t want me to know?”
“N-no. Because I don’t want it to hurt you too.”
Immersing my fingertips into his hair, I press his forehead to mine. “It’s my choice to listen, and I want to know what you’ve been through, like you’ve been there for me. Let me hear you, love. Just me. Let my Alpha hold your Omega through it.”
A piece of our bond tightens, drawing our wolves closer. Our connection strengthens by the second as we breathe together through Noah’s pain—until his raw whisper breaks the silence.
“He’d praise my Alpha... And he hates Omegas.”
My stomach drops. Noah just said “hates.” Present-tense. Does he still know this man?
“But I couldn’t hide my Omega around him. He was ma-ad he had to train me to be the next potential top Alpha when I wasn't a pure A-Alpha. He w-wanted to prove he was dominant over me, but I was a scrawny kid. It was obvious enough already.” Noah’s voice strains, soft and pleading. “It was obvious enough already.”
My wolf nuzzles Noah all over, my face buried in his hair as I stroke my mark on his neck.
He's shaking so hard. He must be a really little kid in his flashback. It's killing me.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Good job, sweet Omega. Keep going.”
Shit, that slipped out before I could think it through. I've never called Noah an Omega as a pet name before.
Noah’s breath tenses, and I fall still.
Oh, no. Maybe I did say the wrong thing.
But Noah breaks into gut-twisting tears, his pained cry tearing at my soul as he nuzzles closer. “I didn’t know what the Alpha-domination stuff was. I thought he was telling me the truth about how the world worked. That Omegas are weak and owe everything to Alphas. Subservience, children... Sex.”
This strikes my heart deep. I squeeze my eyes shut, cuddling Noah even closer. That sounds just like what Steven thought about women. What he used as his reason to assault me.
“I’ve got you, gorgeous, and I hear you. You’re doing so well. Follow the rest of the flashback through.”
“I-it... It changed over time. He switched from verbal to physical, and I couldn’t fight him. I was too scared. Too Omega. Then he—”
Noah shakes his head, hiding from the rest of his story as he groans into my sternum.
“You’re okay. I’ve got you right here,” I say.
“Then it got s-sexual.”
Noah's gutted cry makes me sob with him. All I can do is stroke his hair, riding the waves of his anxiety as his side of our bond burns in pain.
“He said, if I’m r-really an Alpha, I’d fight him back. But I fawned. It's so embarrassing, Luna.”
My blood boils to unhealthy levels. Shielding Noah in a hug, I breathe through it with him, stroking his wet cheek. “My sweet Omega... I didn’t know how much you really understood me. I fawned too, love. It's not your fault, at all. He was an adult. We're all taught to submit to adults, but especially as Lycans who are taught to submit to Alpha adults, and I'm sure he fucking knew it. He knew exactly what he was doing, and you didn’t.”
All Noah does is whimper.
And my wolf takes over. “I’m going to protect you for as long as I live. Is he in our pack? Is he here, at the Summit?”
“N-no. My dad almost killed him before kicking him out. I’m so afraid he’ll come back. That I’ll freeze again, and I won’t be able to protect our pack.”
“Whether you freeze or not, it doesn’t matter. I’ll fight him for you. He’s never coming near you again.” My voice shakes with rage, but thankfully, Noah isn’t afraid. He burrows against my scent gland, dousing himself in my protective musk.
“L-Luna...”
“Who is he, love? Are you comfortable with telling me? I want to protect you.”
Noah swallows hard, burying his face from me until his voice is muffled against my shoulder. “You know w-who he is. The whole pack does. Older wolves that remember think I just couldn’t handle m-my training. Some think he only hurt the other Omegas, and I was too weak of an Alpha to protect them.”
My gut fills with too many emotions to bear, washing waves of nausea over me. “You’re not talking about Mason, are you?”
“No. Mason is a year older than me and wasn't in my year’s training.” Noah’s breath rattles as he readjusts his grip on my back. “I’m talking about Mason’s dad. Jack Hart.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 24 (Reading here)
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