Page 12
Chapter eleven
Open Your Eyes
Kenny’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel, tailing Jack’s car through the narrow streets of Ryston.
The university that had spectacularly thrown him under the bus earlier now receded in the rearview mirror and ahead lay another destination. One that threatened to annihilate what little composure he had left. His stomach churned, inevitability pressing down on him like a lead blanket. He wasn’t ready for this. Not now. Not like this. He’d wanted the investigation to move forward, yes, but not at this pace and not with this level of devastation. Jack must have known. That was why he’d delivered the news in person, seeking him out on campus instead of over the phone.
He inhaled an intrepid breath.
Control .
Needed to hold on to it, but it was slipping through his fingers like water.
This day was supposed to mean something else entirely. He had plans . A date burned into his memory, and Aaron’s, a day both of them couldn’t forget. Kenny had wanted to reclaim it. Give Aaron something back. Overwrite years of anguish with something new. Something good . Like he had in Barcelona with the dancehall surprise. Yet he was here. Having not even called the man he was in love with to wish him a happy birthday.
Fuck. Everything was so damn shit .
He thumped the steering wheel, the hollow sound reverberating in the car’s silence. He wasn’t even sure he should be driving. His mind was a hazy mess. S o he switched on the CD player, and Patsy Cline’s soulful voice spilled into the car, chasing away the heavy silence with its mournful, timeless melody. Body on autopilot, the familiar roads of Ryston blurred past and, before he knew it, he was pulling into the lot at Ryston Hospital. Jack parked his car a few rows over and stepped out, locking his gaze with Kenny through the windshield.
For a moment, Kenny froze. Fingers stuck to the steering wheel, gripping it as if it might hold him together. He could already feel the sterile chill of the hospital hallways creeping into his bones and he took a deep breath to calm himself. Then another. And finally, he stepped out. Jack waited for him, expression carefully neutral.
“You all right?” Jack asked, his voice quieter than usual.
Kenny exhaled sharply. “Let’s just… get this over with.”
“You don’t have to go in.”
Kenny snapped, a flash of anger breaking through the haze. “I’m here to do exactly that. Let’s go.”
He didn’t wait for a reply, his legs carrying him forward almost involuntarily. Jack fell into step beside him as they entered the hospital and the smell hit Kenny first. That sanitised, chemical tang clinging to the air, masking the unspoken truth of what lay within. They passed through the pristine main lobby, heading to the lift. The numbers above the doors blinked as the lift descended, taking them deeper into the building. Kenny’s pulse quickened with every floor. The basement. Of course, it was always the basement. Where else would they put the dead?
The doors opened with a soft chime, revealing the corridor ahead. It was colder here, heavy with a sterile stillness. Kenny faltered for a moment, but Jack nudged him forward with a rub of his back and they navigated the maze-like halls of the pathology unit, past closed doors marked with sterile signage: MORRISON WING: MORTUARY. POST-MORTEM EXAMINATION IN PROGRESS. AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY . The sterile smell was sharper here, mingling with a faint metallic tang Kenny couldn’t ignore.
By the time they reached their destination, Kenny’s breathing was shallow, hands trembling at his sides. He paused outside the door, what lay beyond pressing down on him.
“You sure about this?” Jack asked softly.
“No.” He nodded to the door. “But let’s go.”
Jack pushed it open, and Kenny stepped inside, his senses immediately assaulted by the clinical chill of the room and the examination table in the centre of the room, draped with a white sheet. The outline beneath was unmistakable, and he forced himself to look away, to remain detached. This was just another case. Just another victim.
Except it wasn’t.
That was his mother .
Dr Chong looked up, her gloved hands pausing mid-movement. “Dr Lyons.”
“Dr Chong.” Kenny’s eyes remained fixed on the sheet covering his mother’s lifeless body.
Jack moved between them. “We’re ready when you are.”
Dr Chong motioned toward the table. She pulled off her gloves and everything about her demeanour was professional. But Kenny could feel the substance of her gaze in the way she looked at him, her voice calm yet direct. She knew this wasn’t just another case. She knew what was at stake here.
“We’ve completed the examination. Worked overnight for you, Kenny.”
“Thank you.”
“I can walk you through the findings here, or if you would prefer, I can just write a report—”
“No. I need to know.” Kenny’s throat was as dry as sandpaper.
Jack hovered just behind him, silent but solid. A small mercy. Kenny wasn’t sure he could handle more than one voice right then.
Dr Chong gestured to a screen nearby, an X-ray of his mother’s chest cavity displayed in sharp detail.
Kenny had seen countless crime scene photos. Had combed through pathology reports. And stared into the depths of mutilated bodies without flinching. But this… this was his mother . And it threatened to shatter the clinical detachment he had relied on for years. He wasn’t sure he could hold it together. Wasn’t sure he could compartmentalise the way he always had. But he had to.
To understand. To see the damage for himself.
Because if he didn’t, if he allowed himself to turn away from this, he would never forgive himself. He owed her that much. The same relentless pursuit of truth he had given to so many victims before her. To Jessica.
“At first glance, the external examination showed no significant injuries.” Chong used a laser pointer to indicate specific areas. “No bruising. No outward signs of struggle, which would suggest no foul play. But when we conducted the internal examination, the findings were… unusual.”
Kenny didn’t speak. Couldn’t . Every word from Dr Chong felt like a hammer striking an invisible wall around his composure.
“We agree with Jack’s initial assessment. The petechial hemorrhages in the eyes—those tiny red spots caused by burst capillaries—are a hallmark sign of asphyxiation.”
Kenny drew in a breath instinctively.
“And we also found evidence of pressure marks on the nose and mouth. Subtle but consistent with the application of a soft object, such as a pillow, used to obstruct breathing.”
Kenny stared at the sheet-covered body on the table, the sterile white now feeling like an accusation. His mind replayed every interaction he’d had with his mother, and he felt like he was falling into a void.
Dr Chong moved to the head of the table. “The bruising patterns on the face are faint but telling. These marks suggest force. Pressure applied to keep the obstruction in place long enough to induce death.” Chong turned back to the screen. “Internally, we found haemorrhaging in the soft tissues of the neck here. Consistent with struggling against the obstruction. This indicates your mother was conscious during the act.”
That broke him. A sharp inhale escaped, almost a sob, though he swallowed it down quickly, eyes burning, but he refused to let them tear up. Not here. Not now.
Dr Chong softened her voice, the edges of her professionalism giving way to a note of sympathy. “Kenny, I’m so sorry, but there’s no indication that your mother died of natural causes. The findings are consistent with asphyxiation, likely at the hands of another individual.”
Kenny turned away from the table. The room felt too bright, too sterile, every sound amplified. The hum of the machines, the faint shuffle of movement from Jack behind him, his own ragged breathing. He knew it, but having it pointed out to him made it all the more real again.
Jack stepped closer. “Kenny…”
Kenny shook his head. “So we got the evidence. We’ve hypothesised the why.” He looked at Jack. “Your job’s to get the who, right?”
“Working on it.”
“And?”
“I’m holding a briefing back at the station this afternoon. Now we have this, we’re bringing it all together. This is lightning speed, Kenny. We’re doing what we can.”
“It’s not enough !” Kenny slapped his hand on the counter. He knew he was being irrational. How could he not? That was his mother lying dead having had her life extinguished by the hands of someone else. It wouldn’t matter if the culprit walked in here right now and Jack handcuffed them, it still wouldn’t be enough to appease this great, gaping hole in his chest.
Because it hadn’t ever been filled after Jessica.
“Go take a walk, Kenny.” Jack nodded to the door. “I need to get the paperwork here.”
Kenny took one more look at the body encased in sheeting. He closed his eyes, tears threatening to spill. Then he turned and walked out to the hallway, where he leaned against the wall and…fell apart.
* * * *
“Why are we spying on Dr Lyons’ hospital appointment?”
“It’s not a hospital appointment.”
Parked over the road from the main entrance of Ryston Hospital, Aaron stared out of the passenger window of Mel’s car at the familiar, white-washed walls where Kenny had retreated with DI Jack Bentley. He chewed on his thumbnail, mind on overdrive.
“Okay, so, I got you here. Now it’s time to spill.”
Aaron sighed. “Yes. I’m sleeping with Kenny.”
Mel waited a moment, then suddenly erupted into squeals, stamping her feet and slapping the steering wheel. “Holy fuck! Since when?”
“Properly for about nine months.”
“What’s improperly?”
“We danced around it a year before that.”
“So literally the day you joined Ryston.”
“Yeah.” He shrugged, looking back out of the window to stare ahead at Kenny’s car parked alongside DI Jack Bentley’s. “Sort of.”
“What do you mean by sort of?”
“We met in a club in London before I came to Ryston. Had an…encounter. Turned out he was my professor. He tried to keep away from me, but, well, I’m irresistible. So, yeah, he caved. Now we’re fucking. Regularly. That’s the highlights from season one and two. Congrats. You’ve officially moved from recurring character to main sidekick energy for season three.”
“Oh, my God.” Mel knocked her head back on the rest. “Is that why you’re getting top grades?”
“No!” Aaron ripped his gaze from the car back to Mel. “I’m pretty smart, y’know.”
“But it helps that you’re sleeping with the bloke who sets our assignments.”
“I don’t get any extra help from him.”
“No?”
“No!”
“Then why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you sleeping with him?”
“Because I like him.” More than like, but he wasn’t ready to say those words out loud yet.
Mel’s lips curved into a grin. “He is hot.”
“Yeah.” Aaron turned back to the window. “He is.”
“So, why are we stalking him again?”
“Because I think he’s hiding something from me and I want to know what it is.”
“And you don’t want to ask him because…?”
“I don’t think he’d tell me.”
“Right. And that would be because…?”
“He doesn’t want me to know.”
“Right.” Mel nodded, twisting her hands on the steering wheel. “Well, I am just thrilled to see you’ve graduated from a man who drugged you to fuck you into a much healthier, more functional relationship. Nothing says stability like surveillance.”
Aaron turned back to Mel. She arched an eyebrow.
“How did you know Taylor drugged me?”
“He told me.”
Aaron was about to ask her at what point did Taylor suddenly grow a conscience, when, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Kenny and Jack walking back toward their cars.
“Shit, down!” He grabbed Mel by the arm and yanked her out of view of the window.
Mel yelped as she ducked awkwardly under the dashboard. “Jesus, warn me next time, action hero!”
“Couldn’t you have picked a low-key car? A black Ford? A beige Volvo? Literally anything less conspicuous?”
Mel huffed, flipping her hair dramatically. “Betty is an icon. I’m not downgrading to ‘generic sad-boy car’ just because you’re shit at stealth.”
Aaron peeked over the dashboard, watching as Kenny and Jack stood by their cars, locked in conversation.
“Who’s the other bloke?” Mel asked from her slouched position under the wheel.
“DI Jack Bellend.”
“Unfortunate name. What’s his deal?”
“He’s the detective inspector of Ryston police.” Aaron then watched as Jack put his hands on Kenny. Again . “And Kenny’s ex.”
“I totally had Lyons down as straight.”
“He’s bi.”
“Well, that explains why he looks like a bisexual Pinterest board come to life. Glasses, suits, broody academic vibes. Classic.” She then gasped as Jack gripped the back of Kenny’s neck, drew him closer, and looked directly into his eyes as he spoke. Aaron clenched his hands into balls. “Oh, shit. Do you think they’re still shagging? Is that why you’re following him?”
“Does it look like they are?”
“Oh, for sure. And they’re being real clever about it too. Instead of going to a hotel where it’ll be obvious, they come to a hospital which is known for having an abundance of spare beds. It’s genius really.”
Aaron glared at her. “I hope you’re being sarcastic.”
“Or maybe they’re worried about an unplanned pregnancy?” She arched an eyebrow.
“If any of that is true, Kenny knows what I’ll do to him.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll cut off his massive dick and wear it as a fucking necklace.”
Mel snorted, then wriggled up to look out the windshield. “Maybe he’s helping him with his mum? She died, right? Maybe he needs someone to, I don’t know, move the body?”
“She died in a nursing home. Wouldn’t they move the body to a funeral home? Why would they move it to a hospital? She’s already dead. It’s not like they can revive her after three days.”
“Okay, fine, maybe they’re not moving the body. Maybe they’re donating it to science? Like, ‘Here’s my mum, go ahead and use her to solve crimes.’ Very on-brand for Dr Lyons, don’t you think?”
Aaron glanced at her. “ Pathology is in a hospital, right? Where they examine dead bodies if there’s a question mark over how they died. And Jack is a fucking police detective.”
“Oh. Right.” Mel nodded to the window. “Kenny’s moving.”
Aaron ducked lower as Kenny got into his car and backed out of his parking space, tailing out of the exit and passing them on the residential road.
“Are we following him?”
“No.” Aaron wriggled up. “Follow Bellend.” He pointed to Jack getting into his car.
“Aaron, hun, you know you get a longer prison sentence if you assault a police officer. It’d be better to castrate Lyons. You’ll be out by your thirtieth.”
Jack’s car sailed past them. Aaron nodded to it. “Go!”
Mel started the engine, pulling up behind Jack. “Is it illegal to follow police?”
Aaron didn’t reply. He just stared out of the window, jaw tight, muscles ticking as he ground his teeth in frustration. The urge to punch something— preferably Jack’s smug face — was almost overwhelming. And the silence in the car thickened, pressing in, until Mel broke it.
“So…Dr Lyons has a big dick, huh?”
Aaron froze.
The question hung in the air, absurd and bold, like a neon sign in the dark. Slowly, painfully, he turned his head, locking eyes with Mel, who sat there as if she’d just asked him whether he preferred cats or dogs. Her expression was the perfect picture of innocence. Except for the unmistakable glint of mischief in her eyes.
“Have to say it makes so much sense.” Mel twisted her hands on the steering wheel.
“What does?”
“That Lyons’ is packing. It’s the confidence. The brooding intensity. Those suits that hug just that bit too tight as if he’s trying to keep it all from spilling out. Has that whole ‘quietly intimidating but absolutely wrecks you in bed’ vibe. You know, the type who—”
Aaron launched over the car seats to clap a hand over her mouth. “For the love of God, stop .”
Mel licked his palm, car wheels bumping up the curb in the process.
“Fucking hell!” Aaron recoiled, wiping his hand on his jeans as if infected by a deadly virus as Mel got the car back on the road. “Can you please not bring any more attention to this fucking car?”
“I’ll just call that a yes, then.”
Aaron slumped against the window, exhaling a long-suffering groan. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“You love me.”
“I don’t even like you. I only like you for your car.”
“That’s a lie.”
“True. I also hate this car.” Aaron shot her a glare, but it was all bark, no bite.
Mel, predictably, remained unbothered, grin widening like a cat toying with its favourite mouse. Then, with a perfectly timed waggle of her eyebrows, she leaned in. “So… how big we talking?”
Aaron glared at her, the silence stretching between them, long and torturous. His fault. He’d said too much. So he lifted his hands as if to measure Kenny’s monster cock, but, at the last second, mimed a zip across his lips, locking them shut before tossing her a conspiratorial wink.
“Knew it. Seen you limping around.”
“Fuck you.”
Mel snorted. “Totally has that I’ll choke you vibe.”
“Yeah. He does.”
Mel’s smirk dropped, and she held up a hand like a crossing guard at a red light. “TMI, bruh. I have to sit across from him in feedback.”
“You started it.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t need the bonus material .” She made a show of shaking off the mental image. “Bet your feedback sessions are glorious.”
Aaron snorted. “Depends. You talking academic or personal?”
Mel grimaced. But Jack pulled into the staff car park, so Mel eased Betty to a stop on the opposite side of the street and let the engine run. “What now?”
Across the road, Jack stepped out of his car, locking it with a sharp click, spinning his keys around his finger as if he didn’t have a care in the world. So Aaron shoved open the door, clambering out with more urgency than grace and darted across the street, barely registering Mel’s muffled “Don’t assault police!” as his shoes hit the grass mound to prove DI Bellend otherwise.
His steps faltered on the incline, but he pushed forward, reaching the entrance by the stupid, pointless water fountain. Jack was already ascending the steps to the station, his back to him. “Hey!” Aaron called out, unsure whether it was confidence or desperation that had him here.
Jack stopped. Turned. Furrowed his brow.
“Can we talk?” Aaron hated how shaky he sounded. Hated the vulnerability curling in his gut. That he was here, standing in front of Jack , putting himself out there. But that, as terrifying as it was, was everything.
Fucking feelings.
“You…here to report a crime?” Jack dropped down from the step as a couple of uniformed officers scooted around him toward the entrance.
“You tell me.”
Jack exhaled, long and weary, before tilting his head, gesturing for Aaron to follow. Aaron trailed behind him, stopping by the edge of the concrete water feature as Jack sat along the edge. The fountain’s rhythmic gushing did nothing to quell the storm building inside him.
“What’s going on?” Aaron stayed standing, crossing his arms.
“In what respect?”
“Don’t play innocent with me.” Aaron narrowed his eyes. “Why are you and Kenny going to the hospital together? Why are you calling him on a fucking Sunday when you should be sucking off your gladiator husband? And why is he then locking himself in his office all day like some kind of trauma response? Why is he leaning on you about his mother’s death instead of me? Me !”
“Aaron—”
“Fuck you, Jack. Seriously, fuck every last smug, self-righteous bit of you!” Aaron jabbed a finger toward him, anger flaring like a lit match. “If this is you trying to manipulate your way back into his bed, I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re police, I’ll still ram my fucking fist so far down your—”
“Hey. Stop. Breathe .” Jack shot to his feet, grabbing Aaron’s arm. “ Think before you threaten a police officer on the doorstep of his headquarters, eh? Not even a government issued solicitor will get you off that charge.”
Aaron yanked his arm back, and he tried to sync his breaths with the rhythmic cascading water behind them— one, two, three —but the anger churned, restless and glinting, like the coins sunk beneath the surface of the fountain, their shine dulled but their presence undeniable.
“Then tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“Sit down.”
Aaron hesitated, feet rooted to the ground, but then the weight of it all—the uncertainty, the jealousy, the constant wondering —dragged him down. He slumped onto the edge of the concrete step, staring at the rippling water, trying to drown out the noise of his stampeding heart.
Jack sat beside him, silent for a beat too long. Then, calm and measured, “I’m sorry Kenny hasn’t told you himself.”
“Oh, go fuck yourself.” Rage surged through Aaron’s veins like wildfire. “And while you’re at it, you can shove your shitty apology right up your fucking arse, an’ all.”
Jack’s brows shot up. “Hang on a minute—”
“No, you fucking hang on a fucking minute. Can you even hear yourself? That one little sentence stuffed full of implication and bullshit. Fuck you, Jack .”
Jack’s mouth tightened. He didn’t argue. Good. Cause Aaron wasn’t done.
“Nothing screams apology like rubbing it in my face that he’s told you something he hasn’t told me, then dressing it up like some moral sacrifice. That’s not guilt. It’s patronising as fuck and a way to make me feel like an outsider in my own fucking relationship. That’s what you want, isn’t it? So you can push your way back into his life.”
Jack exhaled through his nose, but Aaron wasn’t finished.
“Because, to me, from where I am, it certainly looks like you and Kenny are still tangled up in some secret little world that I don’t get access to. Like you’re still in a relationship with him. How does Ginger Hulk feel about you and your ex sneaking around all the fucking time, huh? What if I went there now and told him about you two being all touchy fucking feely at the fucking hospital? Because if I were him, I’d be pissed. Actually, I am pissed. So start again. Because this gaslighting bullshit doesn’t fly with me.”
Jack’s lips twitched in slight amusement. “You and Kenny must have wild arguments.”
“Wilder sex.”
“I’ll bet.” Jack almost rose off the concrete. “For the record, Kenny didn’t confide in me. He’s not leaning on me over you. The only reason he’s talking to me at all is because he needs me to push an investigation forward.”
“An investigation?”
“His mum.”
Aaron hung his head. “She didn’t die of old age, did she?”
“No.”
“Fuck.” Aaron turned away, catching Mel still sitting in her car across the street, watching like she could feel the tension radiating off him. “How did she die?”
Jack waited a beat. “Suffocated.”
“ Jesus .” Aaron paced back and forth, raking his hands through his hair as his thoughts raced. “And he’s not telling me because…?”
Jack cocked his head. “If you don’t know that, I’m not sure I’m the one who should say it.”
“Because it’s to do with me?” Aaron clenched his fists. “Cause this is yet another fucking problem I’m giving him?”
Jack stood. “No.” He met Aaron’s heated glare with steady calm. “Jesus, fuck. I can’t believe I’m having to say this.” He took a breath, as if exasperated. “Kenny’s in love with you, Aaron.”
Aaron froze, the words landing like a shard of glass straight to his chest, sharp and unrelenting. “What?”
“So you two haven’t told each other yet? Jesus. You really are perfect for each other.”
Aaron swallowed hard, throat tight. He didn’t speak. Couldn’t speak. Which was a good thing, as Jack kept on going.
“Kenny is in love with you, Aaron. All in. No holds barred. Headfirst, never-coming-out, can’t-breathe-without-you in love . And when Kenny loves someone like that, his fear of losing them is so overwhelming, it clouds his rational thinking. He makes choices based on what he thinks will prevent that from happening. Stupid, desperate choices.” Jack stepped closer to him. “For all of Kenny’s brilliance, for all his knowledge of psychology and behaviour, he’s blind to his own flaws. He’s not telling you about what’s going on, because he thinks he’s protecting you. This is him wrapping you up, holding you, keeping you safe from everything. He wants to take your pain, your hurt, all of your shit away from you and take it for himself because he thinks he can shove it down inside him and not have it touch you. Because he’s in love with you.”
The words crashed over Aaron like a tidal wave, drowning out everything else. His breath caught in his throat, pulse hammering so hard he could feel it in his fingertips. He barely registered his legs giving out beneath him until he hit the concrete ledge, the cool stone biting into the back of his thighs.
Kenny is in love with me?
Not just lust. Obsession. The thrill of secrecy and the rush of something dangerous. But love . All-consuming, life-altering, world-flipping love.
Aaron squeezed his hands into fists, trying to ground himself, but his mind was a fucking hurricane.
Jack sat beside him, breaking the intense silence the revelation had left them in. “The question I need to ask you, then , is how you feel about him?”
“I’m in love with him.”
The words came out sharp, as though they’d been waiting to escape. No hesitation. No stammer. No second-guessing. And yet, the moment they were out, Aaron’s chest squeezed. Saying it was one thing. Understanding it was another entirely. Knowing how to handle it. Nurture it. Deserve it. They were the things he couldn’t grasp. Maybe that’s why it was easier to say it to Jack than to Kenny himself. Safer. Less exposed. And somehow just saying that much opened the floodgates.
“Good.” Jack scrubbed a hand down his face. “Means I can trust you.”
“Trust me?”
“Yeah. You have the harder task here. And I really need to lean on you to do it.”
“Do what?”
“Get Kenny out of his own head. Bring him back to you. Don’t let him drown in all this. Trust me, I’ve been there. Learn from my mistakes.” Jack tilted his neck, the pain of their history still there but not quite as biting as maybe it used to be. “Keep him with you. Whatever it takes.”
Aaron didn’t move. Couldn’t move. Jack’s words, heavy and suffocating, felt as if he’d punched the air from his lungs.
“I don’t know how to do that.” Aaron picked at his nails, the realisation of how inept he was at all this. “I don’t even know how to be… normal with him.”
“What’s normal? There’s no blueprint for relationships. They’re all different. Unique. And yours and Kenny’s is how it’s meant to be for you and Kenny.”
“Messy?”
Jack snorted. “Yeah. Messy. Look, Kenny’s love? It’s not easy. It’s intense, and it’s tangled up in all the shit he’s been through. I’m no psychologist, but I’d bet it all ties back to Jessica. Losing her, and feeling responsible for that? It’s like he’s spent his whole life trying to make up for something that wasn’t even his fault. That’s what he carries.”
Aaron swallowed hard, the words hitting a nerve he didn’t want to acknowledge.
“You need to be mindful of that. Because when Kenny loves, he loves all the way. It’s not subtle or quiet. It’s overwhelming. And a little terrifying. But it’s real. And I’m guessing you already know that. You must have seen it. That way he looks at you sometimes. When you’re doing something completely mundane, but he’s gazing at you as if it’s the most enchanting thing he’s ever laid eyes on. And then there are those other times. The intense ones. When he stares at you like you’re going to break apart, and he refuses to let you.”
The memories rushed back to Aaron unbidden. Those quiet moments when he’d caught Kenny watching him from across the room, his gaze soft and achingly full of something Aaron couldn’t quite name. And those other moments—the ones that stole his breath—when Kenny was inside him, holding him still, hands firm, eyes locked on Aaron’s as though he was trying to read his mind. Trying to say everything he couldn’t with words.
But despite it all, despite knowing what was behind those eyes now, Aaron shrank into himself. “Did he look at you like that, then?”
Jack inhaled sharply. “A long time ago.”
Aaron chewed his lip, nodding. He knew it was irrational—the jealousy curling in his gut, twisting at the idea that once, once , Kenny’s eyes had burned for someone else. That someone else had been on the receiving end of those stolen glances, those silent confessions. But then Jack let out a slow breath and placed a hand on Aaron’s shoulder.
“But I couldn’t keep his gaze on me. It always wandered somewhere else. To someone else.” He tightened his grip on Aaron’s shoulder, not in warning, but as if in reluctant understanding. “So here’s a little advice. Keep him looking at you. Cause it’s all there in those eyes. His obsession with you. His utter fucking devotion. It’s yours to keep if you want it. If you can handle it.”
Aaron met Jack’s gaze. Could he handle it? The full weight of Kenny’s love, his devotion, his need ? Could he hold that gaze and never let it slip away?
Yeah . Yeah, he fucking could.
Because if Kenny could handle all of him —his jagged edges, his outbursts, his mess —then Aaron would do whatever it took to make sure Kenny never had a reason to look anywhere else ever again.
So he stood. And without a word, he bolted, pounding over the grass mound, skidding into the passenger side of Mel’s car and yanked the door open. He threw himself inside. “Back to campus. Now!”
Mel raised an eyebrow but didn’t say a word. The urgency radiating off him was enough to keep her quiet. The drive back was tense, the silence heavy, broken only by the hum of the engine. She hadn’t even fully parked in her spot before Aaron was out, slamming the door behind him, slinging his bag over one shoulder.
He sprinted across campus, weaving through students to the Psychology building, where he barrelled through the doors, feet barely hitting the ground as he launched up the stairs two at a time. By the time he reached the faculty office, his chest burned.
Kenny’s office door was open, and Aaron slalomed through the administration desks, passed the startled staff, focus locked on that doorway.
“Excuse me!” The faculty secretary shot up from her desk.
Aaron didn’t excuse her, and he launched into Kenny’s office, gripping the doorframe as his momentum carried him forward, jabbing his thumb behind him at the admin woman. “Tell her to fuck the fuck off!”
Kenny snapped up in surprise, glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed, fingers hovering over the keyboard on his laptop. He shot to his feet. “It’s fine, Gail.” He kept his voice calm despite the commotion. “I’ve got this.”
Gail stopped her march, glared at Aaron, before retreating with a huff. Kenny stepped around the desk, eyes on Aaron as though approaching a live wire, then reached behind him to close the door. “You all right?”
Aaron didn’t answer. He dropped his bag on the floor, yanked shut the blinds on the window, and his heart thumped unbearably as he raked his fingers through Kenny’s beard, then tugged him down for a mouthwatering kiss.
Kenny stumbled back, hitting the edge of his desk, and Aaron followed, pushing forward between his legs. After a moment, Kenny dragged his hands around Aaron’s waist, stroking up into his T-shirt and along the base of his spine, grasping his body to his. Aaron hummed, tangling his fingers in Kenny’s hair, lips insistent. Tongues brushing. Heated. Languid. Dangerous .
But oh, so fucking good .
Aaron pulled away, and Kenny dipped his forehead on his. There, they just stared at each other. Held each other. For a really long time.
Not needing words.
Eventually, Aaron dragged himself away, picking up his bag, but Kenny grasped his hand, holding their arms outstretched as if preventing him from leaving.
They stayed like that for a while, gazes locked, with everything they hadn’t said seeping through their open eyes.
“See you at home, doc.”