Page 18
Story: Kill Your Darlings
Her voice wobbled. “Everyone is acting like I-I sold us out. And I didn’t ! You know I didn’t. You know how difficult that decision was. I had to make the right choice for all of us—and for the preservation of Millbrook’s legacy.”
I smiled faintly. “You did sell us out.”
“What?”
“Of course you did.”
She stammered, “ Keiran . Y-you of all people know I didn’t want to sell. You know how hard it was for me.”
“Yes. I know you didn’t want to sell. I know it wasn’t an easy decision.”
“But you still think…” She seemed genuinely shocked.
“You could have chosen to accept our buyout offer,” I pointed out. “At the least, you could have waited to find out what our final offer was going to be.”
It was a terrible idea to have this conversation now. I should have shut her down immediately.
She said softly, indignantly, “For God’s sake, this company is all I have. Once it’s sold, that’s it. Game over . The choices I had to make regarding Millbrook determined my entire financial future. You couldn’t begin to match W&W’s offer.”
It’s fascinating, the stories people tell themselves. I ought to know.
I said calmly, “In other words, you sold us to the highest bidder. Believe it or not, I understand your reasoning. But don’t pretend that it was anything other than that.
Don’t talk about preserving legacy and making tough choices for the good of all, because it’s bullshit and everyone at Millbrook knows it. ”
Bullshit? I was more tired than I’d realized.
Millicent lost all color in her face, so that her carefully applied bronzer stood out like camo paint.
For a few moments she didn’t seem to have an answer. But as each second passed, she got angrier and angrier.
She whispered, “How dare you talk to me like this, Keiran. You’re not a W&W employee yet. You still work for me .” Her voice shook.
The pulse behind my eye was now a throb. I could feel pain sparking through the net of nerves at the back of my skull.
I said calmly, “If you didn’t want to hear the truth, Millicent, you shouldn’t have started this conversation.
You asked me for a favor. I’m explaining to you why my answer is no.
For years you refused to listen to your leadership team and eventually you ran the company into the ground.
Then, when we offered an employee buyout—which would have actually preserved the jobs of people you claim to care about, as well as protected Millbrook’s legacy—you promised to consider our offer, but not twenty-four hours later went ahead and accepted Vaughn’s. ”
Across the table, the members of the W&W leadership team watched us with riveted expressions. Talk about a floor show.
Danny Nguyen, Millbrook’s soon-to-be-unemployed art director, said quietly, “Keiran’s right, Millie.”
Millicent threw him an angry look, whispered hotly, “I-I needed to make a decision. You couldn’t have matched that offer! You know that.”
I said, “And now, when people are upset about your decision—because it affects their financial future—you want me to advocate for you, you want me to persuade everyone that black is actually white. It’s not. And I’m not going to pretend it is.”
She dipped her head and whispered fiercely, “I could fire you right now. I could end your career in publishing.”
“There are worse things.”
I caught the flicker in her eyes. Oh, right.
Until the “merger” was fait accompli, I was still an asset.
I was reasonably well liked, reasonably well respected.
No doubt there was a perception that if I was going along with the amalgamation of our two companies, it wasn’t the worst move in the world.
At this moment in time, firing me was not in anyone’s best interest—particularly Millie’s.
I smiled faintly and sipped my water.
Millicent turned her back toward me and tried to engage Whitney Brown, one of our soon-to-be-unemployed editors in conversation. Whitney was not feeling chatty, and had no hesitation about showing it.
Eventually, our plates were swept away and dessert began to be served.
Danny asked if I wanted another drink. I declined and pressed my fingertips to my right temple.
Was this dinner from hell never going to be over?
Danny’s brows drew together. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Not…entirely.”
Not at all, in fact. The argument with Millie had been the final straw.
“Excuse me,” I murmured and pushed my chair back.
The restroom was empty, thank God.
Spots floated before my eyes as I shoved into the last stall, barely managing to lock the door before I dropped to my knees and retched violently into the toilet.
Perfect. Perfect end to a perfect day.
Except the day wasn’t over.
Dry heaves followed—painful, utterly unproductive. I gasped for breath between spasms. By the time it was over, my throat was raw, my eyes stinging with tears, my body drenched with cold sweat. The pounding behind my right eye felt like pain was trying to tunnel its way out of my skull.
Monthly injections of a CGRP inhibitor usually kept my migraines at bay, but now and again, one broke through.
The stress boiling in my gut, the long harrowing drive with headlights in my eyes, the blow out, the…
the…so many disasters in one day I was losing count.
Oh . Right. The fact that someone was maybe—probably? —trying to kill me?
The last twenty-four hours had provided the recipe for disaster—and this evening was delivering the pièce de resistance.
The scent of perspiration, roasted beef, and expensive cologne still clung to my jacket, and it turned my stomach all over again.
When it was over, I was shaking so hard I nearly overbalanced. I sat back on my heels, breathing slowly, carefully, deliberately. In through my nose. Out through my mouth. Repeat. And again.
It was a well-maintained hotel restroom, but yeah. The combined smell of bleach and lavender air freshener sent another of those full-body shudders rippling through me.
Somehow, I had to pull myself together and get back out there.
I couldn’t picture it, though. Couldn’t visualize shaking my hair out of my eyes, straightening my tie, and retaking my seat next to Millicent.
Couldn’t imagine chit-chatting about the book biz for another couple of hours while my head throbbed and white lights flashed behind my eyes like the aliens were landing.
There was no alternative. I’d already been in here too long.
I braced my hands on the cold porcelain, pushed up to my feet, and staggered out of the stall and over to the sink.
I hung onto the counter edge, and turned the faucet with shaking fingers.
Cold water blasted out. I cupped my hands and splashed my face a couple of times.
I rinsed my mouth. Blinked at the mirror.
My dripping reflection stared back—pale, sweat-slick, jaw clenched tight, eyes red. A vein pulsed in my forehead. My pupils were uneven.
“You’re fine,” I said.
Well, no. I wasn’t. But it wasn’t the first time I’d had to work through a migraine attack. It wasn’t pleasant. It wouldn’t be pretty. But I could do this.
Could I?
The door opened behind me on a whoosh of voices and laughter floating from the banquet room.
Through the fleet of blind spots floating in front of my eyes, I could make out Finn’s reflection framed in the doorway.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
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- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18 (Reading here)
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44