Page 16 of Keeping Sarah (Planet Orhon #3)

CHAPTER 16

Sarah

I mpulsive. I could hear Elizabeth’s voice in my head. She had always said I was too impulsive for my own good. My older sister wasn’t wrong.

As I stood on Rex’s balcony, I thought of all the times she had called me impulsive, and all the times I countered that I was not hasty or rash—I merely thought fast on my toes, I always told her.

Watching Tolkabern enjoy the show of my companions, two things became clear to me. One, I did not like sharing their show, and two, he was not going to help us with my issues so easily.

I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but I did. I knew it in my bones.

He was too entertained by their passion to have let them get by with just one round, and I was too sickened by letting them entertain him at all. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I left. If I wasn’t there, then there would be no point for Deacon and Jac to continue being used like that. The guys would stop, and the magician would let them go. I hoped.

But when I turned toward the large glass-paneled doors to enter Rex’s bedroom, I heard something similar to the scene I had left. Pressing my ear to the door, the unmistakable sounds of lovemaking flowed to me. No, not lovemaking. Fucking .

The smack, smack, smack , and loud moans of someone getting pounded, in fact.

The glass panels of the doors had white sheers over them, but one had fallen open just enough for me to peer into the bedroom. Candles were lit on several surfaces of Rex’s indulgently large ostentatious quarters. On the enormous four-poster bed, Rex had a woman on her hands and knees, while he fucked her from behind.

She was a ghost like him, naked and beautiful. All ghosts were translucent for the most part, until they solidified, but their translucent status didn’t lower the volume of their sex. They were just as noisy as anyone. He had her long brown hair around his fist and another hand on her hip, while he bucked hard into her. Each time he thrusted, my pussy squeezed onto nothing.

I shouldn’t be watching this.

I turned and looked out over the moat. On the other side of the moat, tall trees stretched out as far as I could see at night, and it was a beautiful evening. A warm breeze caressed my skin, whatever was exposed by the lovely dress the conduits had made for me. The moons above—

“Oh fuck yes!” she cried out, and metal jingled.

I spun around and peered back inside to see what had changed. Rex had flipped her over on the end of the bed, and her hands were bound to chains near the footboard. The cuffs at her wrists glowed purple, and I wondered if they glowed because they affected a ghost. An enchantment or a technology I didn’t know.

It looked terrifying to be helpless to Rex’s whims, and yet…it was an expression of trust. She trusted him to do that with her—she loved it, actually. And he seemed to really like having her bound like that. His grunts were more…enthused. It reminded me of when Deacon had held me down. I let him because I trusted him. And I liked it. As I watched them, my clit swelled. Rex mounted her harder and as he did, he glanced around until he saw me through that opening in the sheers.

My face flushed at being caught, and I quickly turned back around to study the trees or the moat or anything but what was happening behind me. I almost hummed a tune to drown them out, but I was worried they would somehow hear me. Bracing on the balcony railing, I gripped it tight and tried not to think of all the sounds and their bound fun and all of the mischief running rampant in my own mind.

Until the sounds were much closer, loud and rowdy, the banging more jarring against some kind of surface.

I turned around—not to watch them—but to see what had changed once again, and my breath heaved in my body. The sheers on the doors had been mashed by the woman’s back as Rex fucked her against the doors. He watched me over her shoulder as he slammed into her repeatedly, his trademark smirk in place. My mouth went dry, but between my thighs I was very wet.

He tossed his head back and shouted wordlessly as he came in her. Then the rogue winked at me over her shoulder, before they separated. She didn’t seem to notice what he had done.

I whirled back around and took the railing for my stability again. I tried to focus on anything, but I kept wondering why ghosts couldn’t touch most things, yet their bodies had an impact on the sheers when he had fucked her against the door. I cleared my throat in hope that it would clear that dirty image from my mind, but it didn’t.

Then the door opened.

“Couldn’t stay away, hmm?” Rex crooned in satisfaction.

I exhaled a stabilizing breath and apologized. “Sorry for interrupting.”

He laughed. “You didn’t. You stayed out here like a good little voyeur.”

I ignored the taunt and finally faced him, glad to see he was dressed. “I need—"

“Clearly,” he drawled.

Irritation wiped out most of my arousal. “Would you just listen to me?”

Rex crossed his arms and looked me over. “What has you in such a snit, Sarah? It’s not like we’re strangers.”

“I just…I didn’t expect… that .” The whole incident still had me flustered.

His brows raised. “You thought I was some sexless monk?”

I blushed and shook my head. “No, of course not.”

He came closer but did not touch me. He studied my face, like he was fascinated to see me blush, which only made my cheeks burn hotter. “You liked watching me, didn’t you?” His voice was silken and deep.

I scoffed at him. “Are you out of your mind?”

“It’s okay to admit that you did,” he said with a casual shrug. “I liked watching you with Deacon and Jac. It’s only natural to enjoy such a thing.”

I hated that he’d seen any of that. “You’re disgusting!”

Amusement lit his eyes. “And yet, you’re not disgusted by me, or you wouldn’t be here now.”

I forced myself to calm down and admit why I was there. “I need your help, Rex,” I said, lifting my chin. “You left something behind, something in my mind. You need to take it back.”

His brow crinkled. “What are you talking about?”

I pointed my finger in his face and felt my patience snap. “Don’t play games with me, Rex. I am in no mood!”

“Sarah, I didn’t…” he stared into my eyes and his head tipped curiously to the side. “You really believe that I would do that to you?”

I narrowed my gaze on him. “I imagine you thought it was funny. Well, it’s not. Take it back!”

“I didn’t leave anything behind,” he insisted.

Tears of frustration burned my eyes and my throat thickened. “Then why do I feel like this?” I asked, my voice hoarse. “Why have I been so awful to everyone? It has to be you!”

He stared at me incredulously. “For you to have been awful, it must have been me ?”

“Yes!” I sobbed.

“And here I thought we were making progress,” he muttered to himself, then he looked up at me and his expression softened. “Come inside.”

I hesitated. “Is she still in there?”

He sighed. “I sent her away. I fuck them, I don’t sleep next to them. Come on.”

I followed him inside and he made me a cup of tea. I sat on the chair at his vanity, fighting the urge to rock myself back and forth. “I don’t understand any of this, Rex.”

He sat down on the bed across from me. “You are not awful by your very nature, Sarah, so being awful is going to take a toll on you.”

“I took you hostage, and you don’t think I’m awful?”

He chuckled. “That didn’t make you awful. It made you smart. It was a move I would have never thought of, so I didn’t have any defenses against it. Quite clever, really.”

I didn’t buy it. He was being too reasonable. “Why are you being so nice to me right now, when you’re usually a pig?”

He didn’t look at all offended by my choice of words. “You are in pain, and I hate to see that. After having gotten to know you, I don’t…” He looked away and mumbled, “I don’t like it. Knowing you’re in pain, I mean. You’re a good person. You don’t deserve to feel this way.”

It seemed like he wasn’t lying or trying to deceive me, which made me wonder whether it was true. Rex was smart enough to slip past my bullshit detector, but he seemed to genuinely care about my well-being and I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

When I glanced back at him, his expression was perturbed. “Stop looking at me like that.”

I blinked at him in confusion. “Like what?”

He shifted restlessly on the bed. “Like you’re trying to see the good in me. You’re making me uncomfortable.”

I laughed and set my cup of tea on the dresser. “You’re not one hundred percent evil, Rex.”

“I’m not evil at all,” he insisted. “I’m practical and being practical can require some evil actions.” His voice sounded hollow, like he knew he was lying.

“What is it?” I asked, catching the flash of regret that passed across his features, then was gone just as quickly.

Rex hissed a dismissal. “Nothing.”

“Tell me,” I prodded.

“Gods, you’re stubborn.” He glared at me. “I much prefer conversation with my minions. They don’t question my every expression.”

“That does not sound like a conversation,” I said lightly. “It sounds more like you giving them orders, and them following your commands.”

He nodded. “Yes, precisely why I prefer conversations with my minions.”

I smiled at him. “I’m not your minion.”

“No shit.” He shook his head, and with a deep sigh he admitted, “I think…you might have left something of you in me, too.”

Something in my stomach knotted. “What?”

He stood up and began to pace in front of me as he spoke. “The fights in the arena are the highest grossing industry in Faithless. The first one I watched since you released me and I’ve been back, I…I vomited watching it.” He grimaced at the memory and continued. “So, I’ve downgraded the fights to incapacitation instead of being to the death. People have started to think my hostage ordeal has made me go soft, but I could not watch those fighters murder each other for money again. It was degrading. And now that people think I’ve gone soft, there is dissension in my ranks.”

He stopped and looked me in the eye. “The last time that happened, Deacon murdered me.”

I put the pieces together—what I knew of his past and of him now—and tried to reckon one with the other. “Is that why you became a bigger bastard on Halla? To make sure no one here tried to murder you?”

He closed his eyes and slowly nodded before meeting my gaze again. “Being murdered is not fun. I recommend avoiding it at all costs.”

I snorted a laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

“Sarah, this is going to sound ludicrous to you, I’m sure of it, but I need to ask anyway.” He stopped his pacing and looked straight at me, his expression solemn, which wasn’t a normal emotion for him. “Would you let me back in, so that I might find the piece of me I left inside of you, and you can take yours back? The truth is, I need to get my people under control again, and you—"

“Have been awful to everyone.” The proposal made more sense to me than letting some magician keep pushing his luck with my companions, with no intention of fulfilling any promises.

“If my people keep running wild, then it won’t only be Faithless they destroy,” Rex said, his tone dire. “Eventually, it will be all of Halla.”

I nodded in understanding. “And I need my life back.” I exhaled a deep breath. “Tolkabern is a bastard, by the way."

"I assumed he had something to do with why you were suddenly on my balcony. What did he demand this time? Spinal fluid? Hair from somewhere lower than your head?"

My jaw clenched. Much worse. "Deacon and Jac had to fuck in front of him.”

Rex winced. “My boy could not have liked that.”

“Deacon was pragmatic about it, actually,” I said, still unable to believe just how practical he’d been about the situation. “Jumped right in.”

A sly smile curved Rex’s lips. “He never ceases to surprise me.”

“Maybe you could say the same of both of us.” I stood up and walked to him, while bolstering my fortitude for what I needed to do to be normal again, which is all I wanted. “Let’s do this. I’ll take back my remnant, if you’ll take yours back.”

His eyes widened. “Really?”

I nodded. “But no funny business. We’ll join and set about finding ourselves in each other, and then we part. I am free to leave, and we can negotiate our official peace later. Agreed?”

“Happily agreed.” He sounded relieved. “My world has become too chaotic, even for my own liking. And you’re right—I am surprised you’re agreeing to this.”

I managed a small smile. “Maybe some of your practicality has infiltrated me.”