Page 47

Alek took a seat on the corner of the freshly made bed and waited for Sheridan to finish her shower.

Soft rock music played from the television, making him both restless and sleepy.

He got up and paced around the room while he sipped from the bottle of electrolytes Gus had given him.

The sight of Sheridan’s luggage open and half packed didn’t do much to calm his nerves.

It reminded him of when she arrived with everything she owned in one bag. Did she still think of herself as temporary or replaceable? How could he make her believe in herself? In them. He was fingering a silk camisole inside her suitcase when he realized the shower had stopped running.

Sheridan emerged from the bathroom wearing the fluffy white robe provided by the resort. Her face was flushed from the steam, but her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy as if she’d been ugly crying while in the shower. His heart shuddered.

He hustled across the room to stand in front of her. His hands bracketed her face. “None of this is on you,” he said, trying to make her see reason. “Jamie made the choice to run off with Madison.”

His words were meant to calm her. Unfortunately, they had the opposite effect. Tears began to stream down her face. She shook her head emphatically.

“But if it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have made that choice,” she cried. “He would still be here today.”

“That’s crazy talk. Do you even hear yourself? You had nothing to do with it.”

She pulled out of his embrace and wiped her face on the sleeve of her robe. When she turned back around to face him, an expression that looked a lot like dread had settled in her eyes. “There’s something I need to confess.”

His chest constricted. “Confess?” He didn’t like the ominous sound of that word.

Sheridan pulled in a deep breath as though it was her last. “All this time, you’ve blamed Jamie for taking Madison away from you.”

“Yeah. Because he did.”

“No. Jamie didn’t do that to you. I did.”

Sheridan’s heart cracked a little more seeing the way Alek’s face hardened at her disclosure.

They’d grown so close in the past month, moving past their previous roles of brother’s best friend and best friend’s little sister.

Yesterday, he’d been talking about the future.

She’d be lucky if he was even talking to her once she said her piece.

“That doesn’t even make sense. What are you talking about?”

He looked ragged from spending the night on the sofa.

When she woke to find him there, she knew yesterday’s revelations had knocked him off kilter, too.

He’d made Jamie out to be the bad guy in this scenario for so long.

Finding out Madison was flawed must have been a huge paradigm shift.

It was easier to blame Jamie for taking something away rather than to believe Madison hadn’t chosen him.

And that had to hurt.

It was impossible to avoid the truth now that it was out there in the open. He tossed a plastic bottle between his shaky hands, trying to appear more composed than he was. She bit back a sob. This was going to be even harder than she imagined.

She sank down on the corner of the bed. “You might want to sit.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, practically anchoring himself to the floor. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Nodding, she drew in another deep, calming breath, only to have it sound fractured. “It was the summer you were in Europe, and Jamie was in New Hampshire waiting for the draft.”

Alek made an annoyed sound.

“I’m sorry. Of course you know when it was.

” She picked at a piece of fuzz on the robe.

“Madison hung around our house a lot. I assumed it was because she missed you and wanted to be around familiar faces. I was taking on every shift I could get at the bar to earn money for school. She and Jamie spent most of their time together. Then, all of a sudden, she was sitting in on the meetings with his agent. Even the contract negotiations. The next thing I know, Jamie is telling me they are in love and he’s taking her with him to Las Vegas for the draft. ”

Alek gave his head a little shake. He held his palms out. “Yeah? That’s on Jamie. I don’t see how you are to blame for anything.”

Sheridan jumped up from the bed. She was to blame. And Jamie was gone because of her silence.

“Jamie thought you’d broken up with Madison!”

He shot her a confused look. “What?”

She huffed a frustrated sigh. “Madison told him she’d given you an ultimatum. She wanted to know if you two had a future together. According to her, you told her no and then broke things off. Jamie was furious at you for stomping on her heart like that.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit. I never broke up with her. I was going to propose to her when I got back. You know that. I showed you the ring. What did he say when you told him that?”

Her throat grew so tight she couldn’t get any words out. At least that was the excuse she was hiding behind for not answering him. Time stretched painfully until she could see the exact moment the truth dawned on him.

“You told him, didn’t you?”

God bless him. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the truth. After everything I’ve told him, he still wants to believe in me.

She didn’t think she could love him more. At the same time, she could feel the pieces of her heart skittering around her chest, where it was slowly disintegrating.

Alek slammed his fists against the wall he was leaning on. “Are you kidding me? All this time, Jamie believed that about me ? My best friend hated me for something I didn’t do?” He barked out an ugly laugh. “Hell, I hated him right back. What the fuck, Sheridan?”

There was no excuse she could give that would make him understand.

He tossed the half-drunk sports drink onto the bed so he could work his fingers through his hair as he paced around the room. His face was pained when he turned on her.

“You let this lie go on for ten years! And now Jamie is gone, and we can’t get those years back.”

Something inside her snapped. “Don’t you think I know that!

My brother is dead because of me !” She stabbed her finger into her chest. “If I had spoken up, he never would have married that gold digger!” she choked out.

“Even though he claimed to have loved her first. He said he only stepped aside because she appeared to prefer you. And he thought you made her happy.”

Alek slammed his eyes shut as he leaned against the wall again for support. She swiped her tears away with her fingers. Seeing him more clearly didn’t change anything, however. The truth was written all over his face.

He hated her.

Not as much as she hated herself, though.

“Why?” he croaked. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Who knew it could be so physically painful to bare one’s soul? There was no turning back now, though. Her defense wasn’t going to make him despise her any less. She might as well rip the bandage off.

“Because I was a stupid teenage girl!” She gulped in a breath. “A misguided seventeen-year-old who was in love with her brother’s best friend.”

There.

She’d said it.

“I guess I thought with Madison out of the way, you’d finally see me.” She shrugged. “I didn’t think my idiot brother would marry her while they were in Las Vegas.” She shook her head. “By then, it was too late.”

Alek remained quiet. Sheridan didn’t dare look at him. Seeing anger or, worse, pity on his face would likely destroy what was left of her.

“The joke was on me, though,” she continued.

“I went up to Dartmouth the night you got back. I was going to explain, I guess. I don’t know what I would have said.

” She sniffled. “I do know I was desperate not to lose you—even if it was only as a friend. You were so important to me.” She took a moment to steady herself.

“When I arrived, I overheard you talking to one of the guys, though.” She swallowed roughly.

“I hung out in the hall eavesdropping. You sounded so angry. And hurt, I imagine. You said some pretty brutal things about Jamie. I was sick to my stomach about the mess I’d caused.

I was going to come in and tell you the truth.

But then”— she drew in another deep breath—“then you started on me. You said at least you wouldn’t have me hanging around twenty-four seven making moon eyes at you any longer.

Then you laughed and said I was a fool for not understanding there was no way you’d ever think of me as anything more than an annoying little sister. ”

Alek made an anguished sound, but Sheridan avoided looking that way and instead soldiered on.

“I know I have no excuse. I should have spoken up that night regardless of my hurt feelings. That was wrong of me. And I’m sorry.

” She cleared her throat. “Forgive me. Don’t forgive me.

It doesn’t matter. Because the one person whose mercy means the most isn’t around anymore for me to apologize to.

And now I know for sure the blame for that rests with me.

I’ll never, ever be able to forgive myself for Jamie’s death. ”

“Sher—”

“Don’t.” She held up a hand to block him.

“Nothing you can say will make this better. I totally understand if you never want to see me again, but please, please, don’t hold this against Finn.

Jamie was right. He needs you in his life.

I already took his father away from him.

” She gulped a sob and headed for the bathroom.

“We can figure out the logistics later. Right now, I need some time to process where I go from here. And that’s something I need to do alone. ”