Page 41 of Keeping Freya (Warriors of Arracate #3)

Fr’Ya

I did not sleep last night. I spent some time with the cats, saying goodbye to them. They will be fine, running around and making havoc in Kepti’s Garden.

I kept waiting for T’Rak to come back. Tossing and turning in his bed. I’m angry he doesn’t understand. I’m angry because he said ‘I love you’.

If he would just not be so damn T’Rak-like, it would be so much easier. But it’s not, and it has to be done. I don’t belong here. I belong on Earth.

A little voice inside of me calls my bullshit. It says I’m just too traumatized to trust someone else truly and that I’m only making excuses for myself. If I could only give in to T’Rak, truly give in, I could have a better life with him than I could ever have on Earth.

But I push that little voice away, because it is lying. I need to go home. Home is where I’ll be safe. Home is Earth.

It didn’t stop me from opening the doors and calling the cats to me, who kept me company on the foot of the bed .

Right now, I’m standing in front of the docking station, where a small vessel is now boarded next to T’Rak’s ship.

A long-distance cruiser with the best shields and tech possible for the Arracate.

All it needs is a pilot. His crew is here, with their mates, and they gave me teary goodbyes.

I am jittery with nerves and lack of sleep, and anxious that T’Rak isn’t here.

“Are you sure?” Lauren sniffs for the thousandth time.

“Yes, I have to.” I can’t explain it any better; it’s an inner drive. A need. It hurts though, more than I ever thought it would, but this is the road I’ve chosen and will follow till the end.

Something in my chest flutters, and T’Rak rounds the corner, making my heart skip a beat. He looks awful, like he’s been on an all-night bender.

“Did you get drunk?” Anger courses through my veins.

“No,” he grunts and walks towards the ship. “Are you ready?”

“T’Rak,” Lauren sniffs. For a moment, he softens when he turns around. “We won’t see you again, you big idiot.”

Her words hit me like a freight train. If it would take me 30 years to get to Earth, it would take T’Rak 60 years. His friends will be gone in 60 years. I can’t ask that of him.

“No. No, T’Rak, you can’t take me. It’s too much.”

He looked at me. “You are my Zarra; nothing is too much. Go strap in. I will be there shortly.”

I take the offer he’s giving me, too chicken to witness the goodbyes he’s giving to his friends and climb on board the ship. There are two pilot seats, and I strap myself into one. T’Rak takes the other chair and wordlessly maneuvers us out of and on our way.

He rises when we are well on our way and firmly into hyperdrive. “Come, it is time for Cryosleep.”

I follow him, too choked up to speak. There’s a hallway to the left where four Cryo-chambers are situated.

“So, this is it?” I swallow, and my throat suddenly feels dry.

“Yes,” T’Rak grunts, and I feel myself tearing up again. My beautiful, strong mate. He showed me what it’s like to have someone in your corner who lifts you up and lets you grow and find your strength. I never thought it would be easy to leave him, but at least I thought it would be doable.

“I guess this is goodbye then.”

He gives me the most T’Rak-like grunt and opens the stasis pod.

“T’Rak…” I begin, but he interrupts me.

“It is okay, my Zarra. You will always be the only one for me. I promised you I would do anything for you, so if this is what you need, I will give it to you.” He pauses to help me enter the pod, and I lie down.

He bends down and places a soft kiss on my lips.

“I love you, Fr’Ya.” His expression is sad as he straightens and pushes the button to close the pod. “I only wish it was enough.”

Tears are streaming down my face as he walks away. Asshole, to deliver me this blow before I go into stasis for years and never see him again.

The pod’s fully closed by now, and gas starts seeping in.

Suddenly, it hits me. I will never see T’Rak again.

I will be asleep for years. I have been away for years.

My family and friends will have aged years, if they’re even still alive.

I have heard it all. They tried to tell me, but somehow, it didn’t land until now.

And now, it’s too late. It’s too fucking late.

“NO!” I scream and pound on the glass as I start to feel sleepy, no, no, this can’t be happening. My head trashes and suddenly I see an orange button next to my head. The panic button. With my last efforts, I smash it, just as I go under .

I feel drowsy when I wake up. After a quick look around, I realize I am still in the pod. It’s open, and the gas has stopped sizzling. I bulge upright. I have no clue how much time has passed, but I need to stop T’Rak before he puts himself under.

Clumsily, I get out of the pod and start running and screaming his name. I run through the hallway, stumbling against the walls, still drowsy from the gas.

“T’Rak! T’Rak!!!” I scream at the top of my lungs, and suddenly hear him reply.

“Fr’Ya?”

I sniff. “T’Rak, I can’t find you.”

“Fr’Ya, stars, I can hear you in my mind.”

“In my mind?” I echo. I feel surprise and joy; suddenly, something snaps inside me, and I feel him.

“Where are you?” he asks.

“Hallway.”

“Stay put, I will come get you.”

I slump down and cry. I am not too late, I can tell him I love him.

I feel his presence before he rounds the corner. “Fr’Ya!” He cries out before he pulls me into his arms.

We hug, and I cry, and I cry some more.

“I love you,” I croak. Relief flushes through me, and I realize it’s his emotion I am feeling.

“I can’t live without, I’m sorry, you were right. There’s probably nothing left for me on Earth, and you were going to take me there anyway because that’s who you are. And even if there was, you wouldn’t be there.”

A sob leaves my body. “I choose you, T’Rak. I will always choose you.”

He kisses me hungrily before he responds. “I love you, my mate, my Zarra, my love.”

And then we kiss again, feverishly. The need is all- consuming, and the bond is pulsing in my chest. I feel it now, and it is filled with want.

T’Rak lifts me and slams me against the wall behind us. I wrap my legs around his waist and grind against his cock. We are out of control, and I am here for it. I feel feverish, and the only thing I can focus on is having him inside of me. Now.

I rip my lips from his and pant. “T’Rak, I need you.

NOW.” He grunts before he yanks up my top, he hoists me up higher as if I weigh nothing, and lavishes attention on my breasts.

He licks and sucks and bites my nipple, while his hand is playing with my other breast. I clutch his head against my chest, his beard leaving stubble all over me, but it only adds to the sensations.

I whine his name and he takes the hint, ripping the seams of my trousers before he lets me slide down to his waist.

“Do you need something, my love?”

“Yes! Yes, your cock, please!”

He chuckles and releases his cock from his leather pants, teasing me with just the tip at my entrance.

“Promise me you will never try to leave me again.”

I whine again. “That’s not fair!”

He slides in an inch. “It is not, but I need your words, Fr’Ya.”

“I will never leave you, T’Rak. But you’d better never leave me behind!”

“That I can promise you,” he grunts before he pushes himself to the hilt.

My eyes roll back and I see stars, his ridges ripple against my inner walls, and before he can even thrust once, I cum.

He’s not gentle this time, though. He keeps thrusting into me, hard.

My back scrapes against the metal off the wall, but the discomfort only adds to the pleasure.

When he throws his head back and roars his release, I cum again. Screaming .

I am limp in his arms as he walks me to his room.

He gently lays me down on the bed and retreats to the bathroom, cleaning me up when he returns.

After he disposes of the cloth he sinks down next to me, and we just look at each other.

I reach for his hand, and he takes mine, kissing the knuckles.

There’s a comfortable silence, and I find myself drowning in the stars that swirl in his eyes.

“I love you.” Now that I’ve let the feelings in, I am overflowing with a need to share them with him.

He places a gentle kiss on my fingers. “Will you come home with me? Fly with my crew, explore the galaxy.”

“Yes!” My heart fills with warmth, and then I remember the kittens. “But what about Bygul and Trjegul?”

“The cats can stay on the Ring; they are making their home in Kepti’s garden right now. We can visit them when we are at the station.” He hesitates. “You can always stay there.”

“No.” My mind is made up about that part. “I want to stay with you. I only want to stay with you.”

“Forever?” he asks.

“Forever.”