Page 1 of Kay (Daddies Ink #5)

Kay

I finished painting the white bunny on the mural before I stepped back and admired my hard work. I’d been working on a playroom for the Little girls in our lives for four days and I was fucking proud of my efforts.

“Oh, Kay, it’s beautiful!” my boss, Leland said, admiring the room.

The Little girls finally had a fun room at Daddies Ink for them to play in, and I had been asked to paint all the walls.

I’d just finished the last one. It had been designed for Ashley, my friend Smoke’s Little one, and it was painted with a pastel forest scene.

Each wall was a reflection of each Little girl in our lives.

I’d painted candy skulls, kitties, a farm scene, and a pastel forest.

“I hope they like it,” I said, gathering up the brushes I’d used. There was always an element of vulnerability when you completed an art piece and were waiting on the recipient’s reactions.

“I think they’ll love it, especially since Auntie Kay painted it for them,” Smoke said as he stepped into the room and looked around.

“Yeah, you could have painted a turd on the wall and they would have oooooed and ahhhhed it for days,” Leland said with a laugh.

His words filled my heart with joy. I did love being Auntie Kay. Loving their Little ones helped me pass the time while I waited for my own Little girl.

“I still don’t understand why we are leaving that one wall blank. It sticks out terribly,” I complained again.

Leland and Smoke both chuckled.

“You haven’t figured it out yet, Kay?” Blade teased.

“Figured what out?” I asked, too tired to try and navigate what they were talking about.

“That wall will be for your Little one when you find her,” Leland said, throwing his big arm over my shoulders.

Emotions clogged my throat and I looked away.

“She will be welcomed with open arms,” Blade added.

“That is very sweet,” I told them, my eyes glassy with tears. I was so thankful for the family we’d created.

“Can we come inside?” Rogue asked, interrupting our emotional moment. She was standing in the hall with Eloise, Blade’s Little girl.. They were both bouncing on their toes.

“You may, but don’t touch anything because it’s still wet. Look with your eyes only,” Leland, Rogue’s Daddy Dom, warned.

“Yes, Sir,” she said.

“Eyes only, babygirl,” Blade told Eliose.

She nodded around her thumb and followed Rogue in.

Shrieks pierced my ears and I laughed in delight as they ran around taking in all of the details.

“We still have to move the sofa and tables in,” Leland said, pointing out the places the pieces would go.

“And all the play furniture and toys,” Blade reminded them.

“It’s perfect!” Rogue screamed before running to me and giving me a giant hug. “Thank you, Auntie Kay! Thank you!”

Eliose hugged me from behind. “Tanx!”

Laughing, I hugged them back, thankful to have made them so happy.

***

“We're going to The Thirsty Turtle again this weekend. They’re having a pajama party. Do you want to come?” Leland asked, sitting down in my office.

“I would love to. Thanks for the invite.”

“The Littles love when you come.”

“Probably because I spoil them.”

“I think that’s definitely part of it,” he agreed with a laugh.

“Auntie Kay?” Allyson, another Little girl in my life, called from the lobby.

“I’m in my office, baby.”

Soft footfalls sounded from the hall, growing louder as she approached.

“Hey, Little girl,” I said, pushing my chair back from my desk.

My heart melted when I finally saw her. She was wearing a blue sleeper with panda bears on it and panda slippers. She was holding her lovie in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other. She didn’t look well.

Heavier footsteps reached my ears and Bash, Allyson’s Daddy Dom, walked in behind her.

“She has an ear infection, we just left the doctor’s. I have two clients I can’t reschedule and I don’t want her home alone. She was hoping she could hang out with you for a bit,” he said, filling me in.

I opened my arms to Ashley and she climbed up in my lap. Kissing her forehead, I frowned. “Poor baby. She’s warm.”

Bash set her backpack on my desk. “I just gave her some fever reducer, hopefully it will kick in soon. She has a bottle and some oatmeal in her bag, but I figure she’ll probably just sleep for a while. She’s wearing a diaper, and you can call me if you need me,” he said.

“No worries, I got her, Bash.”

“Thank you so much, Kay. I have no idea what I’d do without you.”

Allyson went limp against me and I wrapped both arms around her.

I’d been done for the day, but I was content to just hold the sick Little girl.

I was so thankful for my little family—the Littles and all their Daddies—and while I got so much joy from caring for them all, times like this only made me ache for my own Little one even more.

I was a Daddy, through and though, but finding a Little one who wanted a female Daddy was proving to be far more difficult than I thought.

***

Lennon

The older woman stared at me with what looked like distaste through the video screen. “What did you need?” she asked, sounding almost as annoyed as she looked.

“I was just calling to see how your day went,” I answered, my heart falling to my feet.

This had been a bad idea. Sasha was my accountant and she’d lost her grandmother the day before.

I’d worried about her most of the day and had only called to check in on her, but maybe I’d misread the friendship or maybe she just had other things on my mind.

I could be sensitive and I didn’t want to misinterpret her reactions.

“Why?” she asked, interrupting my inner panic.

“Why?” I repeated, not understanding her question.

“Why are you calling to see how my day went?”

“I-I just...”

“We’re not friends,” she interrupted. “I’m not someone you call just to talk about your day.”

Pain and rejection tore through me and my eyes burned with tears. “I just know it must be hard since your grandma passed.”

“I have people I have shared that burden with. You’re not one of those people.”

I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry.

“You know that, right? I worked for your parents and that’s the only reason I’ve continued to work for you.

“I understand,” I answered, already shutting down. I could feel my senses turning off.

I’m so fucking stupid.

Shutting down was better than crying.

“Okay, so what did you need?” she asked, tapping her desk with her fingers.

“Nothing. Have a good night,” I said, ending the video call.

Closing my laptop, I stood, grabbed my favorite toy car, and started turning the lights off downstairs.

It was only 5 pm, but I was so tired—mentally and physically.

We’d been trying to clean out the bakery I worked at part time.

A coworker's mother had come in powered by a drug-fueled rage and destroyed part of the shop. It had been so scary, and the co-worker, Ashley, had been hurt. I’d helped her in her time of need and had somehow managed to be granted free tattoos for the rest of my life since her Daddy worked at the tattoo shop I usually visited.

That had been the only bright side to the entire situation.

It would be weeks before everything was back to normal and the other workers and I had been trying to clean and move as much as we could.

We were kind of at a standstill until the vendors could come out and replace the glass she’d busted.

My muscles hurt from the physical labor and truthfully, my heart hurt too from being so misunderstood.

My eyes stung again and I blinked back the tears.

Some days it was hard to believe life was worth living.

I wanted to try and bring happiness into everyone's life, but it was hard when I felt like I was pouring from an empty cup.

A knock on my door stopped me from taking the stairs to my bedroom. I turned and wearily trudged toward it. Peeking through the hole, I saw Kay.

“Hey, Kay,” I said, after opening it for her.

“Hey, Little one. I was just dropping by to see how you were feeling.”

Kay had “dropped by” at least three times since our shop had been destroyed. I had originally had some anxiety after helping Ashley when she’d been injured, but I was feeling much better.

“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile.

She raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows at me in an unspoken warning not to lie to her.

“I am doing fine after the vandalism. I promise,” I told her.

“You look like someone kicked your puppy,” she said.

“I had… I...” I tried. How did I explain what happened to Kay? She was so beautiful and put together. I’d bet she never misunderstood a situation in her life. Her body language screamed confidence and control.

She nudged the door with her foot and I sighed before stepping back.

“Tell me what’s wrong, honey.”

“I just misunderstood a situation, that’s all. I’m embarrassed.”

“Well, tell me about it. Let’s talk it out.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I kinda want to veg out in front of the television,” I told her. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just didn’t want to cry… at least not in front of her.

“Okay, what were you planning on watching, Little one?” She shut the door behind her and kicked off her shoes.

I sighed, giving up. I was learning that Kay was as stubborn as they came.

“Lightning McQueen,” I answered.

A smile played on her lips. “The movie about the red car?”

I nodded, running my thumb over the toy car in my hand.

“Is that your favorite movie?” she asked.

I nodded again.

“Okay, so how about you go get cozy in your pajamas and I’ll order us some dinner. We can watch your movie and veg out like you planned, and I’ll be here in case you decide you want to talk about your misunderstanding with your friend.”

My heart felt like it dropped seven stories and my eyes filled with tears again.

“No, thank you. I want to be alone,” I told her, opening the door back up.

“Lennon, I hate seeing you so sad. You’ve been off for a few days now and...” Kay trailed off.

“I feel like no matter how clearly I explain things, or no matter how many times I give it my all, nobody ever sees it. I’ll think I’ve grown in friendships, done a good job with expressing empathy, made improvements with my communication, and then out of nowhere I’ll realize I got it all wrong and someone somewhere is mad at me or annoyed by my attempts at friendships.

I’m tired. I’m tired of giving it my all and continuously failing.

I’m tired of being genuine and it being mistaken for being desperate to fit in, or a ‘pick me’ girl.

I’m tired of never being enough, being too much, or just being ‘that weird girl Lennon’ and I’m really fucking tired of being lonely.

So please, Kay, just go. I can’t take anyone else pretending to care,” I interrupted.

“Please, just go,” I said, softer. “My feelings for you are too big for me to get it wrong with you too.”

“I’m going to respect you asking me to leave, but I’m here if you need me, honey. I care about you very much and want you to know you don’t have to deal with these big feelings alone.”