Page 5 of Katie 3 (Desires #6)

Chapter five

Katie

I wrap up my test at school and turn the paper in to the professor. I can’t help but look behind me. Glancing at the other students and seeing them more focused on their tests than me is a unique kind of relief.

They don’t know I’m pregnant. They don’t know I’m dating my ex-stepbrothers and ex-stepfather. They don’t know about anything with Dan. I almost want to linger here, where none of that is known and I’m just another student that doesn’t matter to most people. I can be surrounded by normal.

Instead, I head to the library to study for a bit before I sense eyes on me.

I don’t want to pop the bubble of normalcy I’m trying to build around myself, so I try to focus on highlighting the things I need while preparing for the essay I’ll need to finish by next week.

Social deviance and what creates it, relating it to systemic issues.

That should be complex. I should be bored just reading it since most people would be, but it draws me in deeper. I can relate it to law—not to Brad’s current legal issue, but law in general. I can make the paper mean something and that’s exciting. In my classes, I have total control.

I can’t change plenty in my life, but I can at least influence my grades.

But the skin-prickling sensation of being watched lingers, sweeping over me and slowly drawing my eyes up. Some guys I’ve never seen before are watching me at a table. One smirks and lifts his chin in my direction. Another laughs and shoves the first before looking me over too.

I feel like a perfectly cooked steak—unguarded in front of a group of famished dogs. They’ll rip me apart.

No. I’m just paranoid. After everything with Dan, I’m thinking the worst of everyone.

Unless they’re Dan’s friends or something. Or Dan spread some rumor about me that hasn’t reached my ears.

Stop thinking, Katie. Just stop!

“You’re good at thinking, would be a shame to stop now,” Carter says, appearing behind me. He keeps his voice low, but the fact I spoke aloud instead of just in my head proves I’m slipping. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing. Paranoia. I don’t know,” I dismiss with a wave of my hand as I glance at the guys and see them focused on something else, even though one looks my way and winks.

Carter moves closer to me, sitting down beside me while holding a book. His eyes flick to the group, then back to the book. “You know them?”

“You sound like Brad,” I grumble.

“I’m not asking out of jealousy,” he answers, moving the book into one hand while letting his other hand stroke my thigh under the table. He snaps my leggings against my skin. “Do you know them?”

“No,” I whisper.

“Any reason they’d be leering at you?”

“They’re not leering,” I argue, needing to believe that. “Do you have a lecture today?”

“I do.”

I don’t know what to do with Carter. He’s a lecturer here and I’m afraid I’ll get him in trouble if anyone sees us together. I swallow. “You shouldn’t touch me like this out in the open. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Look at me, doll,” he orders.

Slowly, with hesitation, I look at him. His eyes catch mine and there’s a mix of lust and annoyance there. I’m afraid both are for me until his hand softens on my thigh. “You are worth getting in trouble for.”

“I need one of you not in trouble, not being pulled away from me,” I say, more honestly than I planned.

He sighs. “Ignore Dad. He’s… processing. ”

I almost touch my stomach, but I don’t. Instead, I decide to be open. Carter and I have to get over sharing half-truths and showing more emotion than we talk about. If I can let him fuck me the way he does and cry in front of him, then I’ll need to talk to him about other things.

“Okay, then I need something normal. I want to feel like a normal college student and that’s kind of impossible at home right now. I need to have that here. I can handle guys looking at me. I can handle my own grades and classes and all the good and bad with college,” I insist.

Carter’s stare doesn’t break from mine. And it makes me realize he’s not telling me something. I know he and Brad both are keeping something from me, but I don’t want to push. Right now, having some sense of calm and normal, having some sense of peace is better.

“Meet me here in the library after your last class, okay?” he asks.

I nod. It’s a step forward. He closes the book and stands, giving the table of guys another long look. He raises his voice. “I’ll be disappointed if you’re late for my lecture considering your attendance so far. It might make me worry.”

With that, he walks away, but when I glance over, some of the guys from the table are already leaving. Only the first one makes eye contact with me. He smirks while chewing on a toothpick but doesn’t come towards me.

See, normal. I’m reading too deep into things.

I head to my next class, then Carter’s lecture. I try to focus on what he’s saying rather than the power that radiates off him. He’s intense, overwhelming, all consuming. When he talks, he owns the room and everyone in it. It’s electric, powerful. How is this man mine?

I chew my bottom lip as I watch him and start to smile before I catch myself and start taking notes.

I adjust in my seat to refocus. If I can avoid looking at him…

no, his voice is just as astounding. The tone of his voice changes slightly, drawing my eyes.

Our eyes meet and I have a feeling our meeting in the library isn’t going to be appropriate.

The longer he talks with his legal know-how and expertise, the more excited I get.

The second he closes his lecture, I’m up and walking towards the library. I still hear girls trying to keep his attention, begging for one-on-one time. He’s polite, more of a gentleman than he’s ever been with me, but makes it clear that he’s only a lecturer, not a professor.

I hurry to the library, ignoring anything and everything else until I’m among the shelves. I should have worn a skirt. Skirts and dresses drive Carter insane. Instead I went for leggings and an airy top.

While I’m determined to find a book, something to help my essay, I’m also hoping that Carter finds me, attacks, and makes me his in a way that no one can deny. There’s next to no one in the sociology section of the library. It’s quiet and dim, perfect for me and Carter… as long as we stay quiet.

Excitement hums through me, especially when I hear softened footsteps coming towards me.