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AXEL

I n the future, Cy and Ben are only allowed to be pregnant one at a time. I’m going to be firm on that rule, I promise myself, as I enter our pet-store-of-a-bedroom with a breakfast shake for Cy and a veggie scramble for Ben. While I approach, the bat screeches in her cage, and Cy pulls the covers back to reveal his poor, swollen feet.

God, they keep on getting bigger. Even if he wasn’t bed-ridden, he couldn’t walk on those things.

“Can I give you a foot rub?” I ask.

Cy nods, taking the shake from me. “Thank you.” The last month he’s been different. That sassy, hard edge I’ve always loved is a little softer. I worry about him.

Ben sits up and gives me a kiss. “You take such good care of us, Daddy. Thank you.”

I sit at the edge of the bed where there is a tarantula next to my right foot and scorpion next to my left, but it’s fine. Everything’s fine.

Why does Ben want a pet scorpion anyway? What are you supposed to do with it? Stare at how creepy it is? I take Cy’s foot into my lap. He winces when I run my thumb along the place where he used to have an arch.

“Do you want me to call the doctor?” I say.

“No. I’m fine. I’m just… swollen. Everywhere.”

I flash him a smile and lower my eyes to his crotch. “Everywhere, huh?”

“Pervert.”

“Marshmallow.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Did you just mock the size of my feet? I will have you know that I am a human blimp right now because of your dick.”

And his sass is back. Sometimes he just needs to be a teased a little bit.

“You seemed to like my dick during your heat.”

He glares at me, but that’s okay. I’d rather Cy be mad than sad.

There’s a loud tearing noise. Cy and I turn to Ben, who is brandishing Cy’s pocket knife. His pillow is torn down the center.

“Stay right there,” Ben tells Cy, tucking handfuls of fluff under Cy’s side.

“What are you doing?” Cy asks.

“You’re so soft and round. Like fluff. And you’re very handsome. You can be a part of the nest.”

Cy’s eyes widen. “I can be a part of the what?”

“The nest.”

Cy opens his mouth to argue, but I shake my head. If Ben wants Cy to be a part of his nest, then he’s going to be a part of the nest. Todd made it clear that once Ben started ripping up pillows, he would give birth soon.

“I thought I was going to help with the birth. I’m your Daddy,” Cy says.

Ben grins at him. “Of course you’re going to help. As part of the nest.” He keeps tucking fluff under Cy. I hold back a laugh.

Cy folds his arms over his baby bump and sighs. “Fine.”

“Will you go find more pillows, Axe? Lu has so many nice pillows on his couch. Maybe you could bring those. The pillow covers are blue. They’ll match with Cy’s eyes.” He pulls Cy’s pillows out from underneath him and stabs it with the pocket knife.

Lu’s not going to like that. He loves those pillows.

Cy shoos me away. “You heard the man. He wants a nest that matches my eyes, because apparently, I’m nothing but human fluff now.”

Ben frowns. “What’s wrong with being human fluff for our nest?”

“Nothing,” Cy says.

Ben’s upset now. He sits back and hugs his huge belly. “I thought you wanted to keep the eggs safe. That’s what the nest is for. I always feel safe in your arms. You’re the best nest they could ever have.”

Cy’s eyes soften, and he reaches out to cup Ben’s jaw. “I’m sorry. I misunderstood. I’d be honored to be a part of your nest. Will you forgive me?”

Ben kisses his wrist. “Yes, Daddy.” He tucks a bit of fluff under the neck of Cy’s shirt. “The fluff looks nice on you. Don’t you think so, Axe?”

“Yeah, it looks great, little bird. I’ll go get more pillows.”

In just a few hours we’re going to have two eggs to take care of. That still doesn’t seem real.

I bound out of the bedroom and through the kitchen. Scooch is in the living room, making a beeline for the coffee table. I crouch down to rotate him in a different direction, when I notice a collection of eggs on the other side of the coffee table.

Wait a minute.

“Are we sure that Scooch is a boy!?” I call out.

“Why?” Cy yells back.

I guess it doesn’t matter. I don’t have time to deal with this right now anyway.

“Never mind!”

As I rush out the door, I hear the screech of the coffee table legs against the hard wood floor as Scooch moves it over his eggs. Or her eggs. Or whatever.

As if we need more pets. Good God. How are we going to find homes for seven tortoises in Anchorage?

I’ll figure it out later. For now, I need to get my boy some pillows.