Page 7 of Just One: Box Set

Chapter Seven

H arley inhaled the bitter aroma of coffee as she waited patiently for Jackie to arrive. She was late—as usual, and Harley was ready to get up and walk out. She wasn’t sure the coffee shop was the place to have a conversation about her virginity, but Jackie had class and, well…

Harley was desperate.

The fact she was even considering sleeping with Archer was an enormous deal, and Harley was a bundle of nerves. Everyone assumed she was experienced—but that was the furthest thing from the truth. Harley didn't know what to expect, and she imagined it wasn’t anything like the movies.

Harley blew out a frustrated breath and reminded herself that Jackie promised she could help.

But the minute Jackie stepped through the glass doors carrying a massive bag, Harley instantly regretted her decision to meet in public.

There were so many people sitting inside the tiny café, making a private conversation about sex seem insanely impossible.

"Hey." The leather purse made a loud clunk as Jackie slung it to the floor beside her chair. "Sorry I'm late. I needed to grab a few things."

"I don't know if this place to talk." Harley glanced around at the patrons, lost in their own conversations. She couldn’t help but feel exposed. "Can you just come over tonight?"

"No. I have to work. Seriously, Harley?" Jackie swiveled her head around and shrugged. "No one is going to care. Do you want me to help you or not?"

Harley closed her eyes and sighed. "Yeah. Fine. I can't believe I'm even having this conversation at my age. I didn't think I would be a senior in college and still a virgin."

"It's no big deal. Lots of girls still have their vee card. Granted," Jackie smirked, "they aren't hot like you and probably haven't had the opportunity to play hide the weasel."

Harley groaned, "Hide the weasel? Seriously?"

"Yes. Hide the weasel, go to pound town, bumping uglies… you know, sex. Calm down, Harley. The first step is to loosen up. You can't take it so seriously, or your first time will be like cramming a red-hot poker in your eye."

"Great." Harley rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. "Where do we start?"

"First—have you ever had an orgasm?"

"Um… virgin, remember?" Harley pointed her thumbs into her chest.

"You know there are other ways to have an orgasm that don't include riding the baloney pony, right?" Jackie reached down and dug through her bag. "This is your homework for tonight." She slammed a giant pink vibrator on the table and slid it across toward Harley.

"What the fuck, Jackie?" Harley grabbed at the silicone dick and shoved it in her lap, knocking her silverware off the table. The metal utensils clattered across the floor, drawing attention to the two of them.

A woman sitting behind Jackie with a toddler shot her the most disgusted look ever.

The poor mom's eyes were practically popping out of her head at the sight of the battery-operated pleasure stick tucked between her thighs.

Harley mouthed the word 'sorry’ to the woman before hiding it in her backpack beneath the table.

"Calm down. Karen over there probably has a lifetime supply of double-A batteries at home. And I seriously doubt they're for her baby monitor. Isn't that right, honey?" Jackie turned to the woman and smiled.

Harley heard the sharp intake of breath, followed by a "Well, I never." She watched in shock as the mother stood and fled the coffee shop, dragging her screaming toddler behind her.

"Oh my God. This was a mistake." Harley put her head down on the table. "Maybe I just need to cancel the date. I'll tell him I have typhoid or something."

"Are you kidding right now? You and Archer have been dancing around this for weeks. You love him, right?"

"Yes. Completely." Harley answered without hesitation.

"And he loves you. So, this is the next step. You've gotta see if you two are compatible in bed. What if his dick is tiny and doesn’t get you off? Would you want to be married to a shrimp pecker your whole life?"

"When you put it like that… I guess not. But I don't think that will be an issue."

"Then calm down and let's do this."

Jackie grabbed out several condoms and tossed them on the table. "Let's talk about protection. Are you on the pill?"

"Yes. I got a prescription a month ago."

"Good. It's important you're protected, too. A condom isn't foolproof and unless you want a baby Archer running around in nine months, birth control is a must."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?" Harley fingered the foil packets on the table. "I mean… I know you aren't a virgin."

"My mom was extremely open about this stuff. She didn’t want to be a grandmother too young. Anyway. I'm going to ask you a question. And be honest, ok."

"O…k." Harley drug out the response.

"Have you ever seen or touched a man's penis?"

"Does over the clothes count?"

Jackie slapped her forehead and groaned. "Fuck. My. Life. How is it you act so cocky about this shit, but you've never even seen one?"

"I don’t want anyone to know I'm a virgin. My sarcasm provides me with a cover. No one would expect me to be the most inexperienced woman on campus. Not even Archer. I kind of lied to him and told him I had been burned before and was taking sex off the table until I knew he was serious about me."

"All this time, I thought you were a sexpert. Archer bought your bullshit? Wow. That man must really love you, Harley."

"A sexpert?" Harley snorted. "Other than watching a little porn to see the mechanics of it… nope. About as green as the artificial football field. And yes… he loves me. Which is why I want to do this. It's time."

"How is it possible someone who looks like you, hasn't played hide the salami before now?"

"I've been focused on finishing my law degree. It's all I know and all I've cared about—until now."

"Until Archer, you mean." Jackie rolled her eyes at her friend.

"Yeah. Until Archer." Harley smiled at the mention of her boyfriend.

"Look. I know you tucked the vibrator in your bag, but I'm serious. You need to use it before you and Archer do the deed. You gotta know what you like so you can tell him where to touch you. Because he's going to want to put his fingers and mouth in you and on you—guaranteed."

Harley swore the elderly ladies sitting next to them were listening to their conversation. She leaned across the table and whispered, "I think people are listening to us, Jackie. Maybe we should take this elsewhere."

"I don't have time." She reached into her bag again and pulled out a banana. "I want to make sure you know how to put on the condom. Have you ever been shown?"

Harley turned ten shades of red in a span of thirty seconds.

"No. I told you it's been me, my very overprotective brothers, and our dad since I was ten.

The birds and the bees conversation went something like—'I'll kill any boy that tries to deflower you.

Stay away from that stuff until you're at least thirty'.

And my brothers were worse. They scared off every possibility of a boyfriend.

So obviously, any of them showing me how to apply a condom was a no-go. "

"Again. Surprised. You just seem so—not virgin-like."

"I'm the queen of sarcasm. It's protected my reputation up ‘til now."

"And you don't think Archer has a clue?" Jackie quirked a brow.

"I don't know." Harley bit her lip. "I've avoided going further than some kissing and petting over the clothes. He complained about wanting me all to himself a few weeks ago, and I decided it was time to stop being a pussy. Which is why we are here."

"Right." Jackie fisted the massive fruit in her hand and grinned. "Let's get this show on the road, then. We're going to pretend this is a penis."

Three elderly ladies sitting nearby erupted into obnoxious cackles, causing Harley and Jackie to turn their way.

The one sitting closest to Harley leaned forward and spoke.

"Honey, if his cock is as big as that banana you've got…

" she snorted “—you better lock him down. Dicks don't grow like that often."

Her friend sitting across from her burst into laughter.

"Oh LeeAnn, don't scare these girls. Besides. The way these boys look today, I'd venture to say they've all got monster cocks."

"Seriously Leah. I don't know why I still come out to lunch with you two." A third lady sitting opposite them feigned shock. "Excuse my friend's rude comments, she has no filter."

"You act like you wouldn't wanna see a young buck’s pecker, Vanessa. And you damn well know the off chance one waggles his ball sack at us is precisely the reason you are still friends with LeeAnn and me." She waggled her eyebrows at the two women, causing them to laugh even harder.

Harley put her head into her hands and groaned. Jackie couldn’t hold back her laughter as she pretended to jerk off the edible dick as the older women watched.

"They definitely don't grow many peckers like this. Come on Harley. Sit up and pay attention. I don't have all day."

If Harley could wither up and die in the moment, she would have. Everything about doing this in public made her feel dirty. There was no way the other patrons weren’t seeing or hearing this. Hell, the old ladies next to them had taken their conversation to the next level.

Harley watched in horror as Jackie tore open the condom and sheathed the banana in the latex barrier. She rolled it down to the base of the phallic fruit.

"There. Make sure you check it for air leaks. You don't want any of Archer's swimmers breaking free." She squeezed the tip of the condom, demonstrating her instructions. "See. Perfect."

Jackie handed the banana over to Harley for inspection. Reluctantly, Harley grasped it in her palm. Her grip was tighter than she planned, causing the soft insides to squirt out.

"Shit." Harley tried to ease off the damaged fruit, only making the guts ooze out even more.

"Damn. I didn’t realize you wanted to make it realistic. At least you know it doesn’t leak." Jackie burst into laughter, causing a table of men to glance their way.

One of them cocked an eyebrow at her as she tried to hide the condom covered produce with a napkin.

"Damn sweetheart. If you choke the real thing like that, he'll want to marry you. Shit. I want to marry you just watching." The other men at the table hooted and hollered at his antics, causing Harley to sink down in her seat.

"Ignore them, Harley." Jackie glared at the group and rolled her eyes. "If you come over here, I'll squeeze your cock with my fist. Just don't cry when I do it with my fingers bawled up and I'm actually dick punching you."

The guy who spoke threw his hands up in mock defense. "Hey lady. I'm not the one putting a condom on a banana in a coffee shop."

Jackie lifted her hand and shot him a bird. "Fuck off."

"This is a disaster." Harley pressed her head to the table and groaned. "I should have never lied to him."

"That’s probably true, but here we are." Jackie pulled out another banana and laid it on the table. "Do you know how to give a blow job? Of course you don't. Why am I even asking? Ok. Here are the basics."

Harley watched in horror as Jackie peeled the skin off and held the flesh in her hand. She stuck her tongue out and licked it from one end to the other.

"Make sure you lick it like that first." She showed again, making Harley burn with embarrassment. "The wetter you get it, the better he will feel. Trust me. No dude wants you yanking on their pecker when it's dry. It'll be like ripping that medical tape off your skin."

Harley closed her eyes and took a breath. "You don't need to show me. I think I can figure it out, Jackie."

"Fine. But don’t come crying to me when you turn his dick into kindling for a fire." Jackie took a bite of the banana and grinned. "What questions do you have for me?"

"What if I don't…" she swallowed. "I mean. What if I can't get off? Do I fake it?"

"Are you worried Archer won't perform? You said you felt it through his shorts, right?"

Harley nodded. "Yeah."

"Ok. Was it big?"

Her face flushed with the memory of feeling his hard cock for the first time. While she hadn't encountered many penises up close, she was certain he was bigger than average.

"I think so." Harley stuttered.

"You think so?" Jackie shook her head. "How big? Like this?" She held her hands apart. "Or more like this?" She moved them even further apart.

"The second one." Harley's eyes shifted between Jackie's palms.

"Oh, wow." Jackie mumbled something under her breath. "You're going to need to go home and use that vibrator I gave you. If he's that big, he may not fit."

"What? Not fit? Is that a thing?" Harley started to panic.

"Hey calm down. If you use lube and a dick mask, he should be able to get inside. You gotta remember—your lady bits are going to be tight. The only thing that's ever been in there, I assume, is a tampon. And based on what you've told me, his cock is thicker than a cotton stopper."

Harley glanced at her watch and grimaced. "Shit. I'm supposed to meet him in an hour. I need to go."

"Did you wax?"

"Wax?" Harley paused mid-stance. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, Harley." Jackie put her hand on her head. "Your beaver box. Does it look like a sascrotch or like freshly waxed linoleum?"

"It's trimmed. I wasn't about to wax for the first time now."

"Good call. You don't want it looking like tenderized beef. Ok. Remember what I said. Lube, dick mask, and relax."

"Relax. Right. Thanks for helping me—I think." Harley started toward the door.

"Harley." Jackie called out. "Seriously. Take ten minutes to fire that rabbit up. It will make the first time on the pony express way more enjoyable."

Harley looked around the coffee shop at the people staring at her. A couple of girls she went to school with were laughing and pointing as she forced a smile at her friend. She should have known Jackie would be that crude. Jackie was just as sarcastic as Harley—only her sexual experience was real.

Harley’s was not.