Page 19 of Junie

Chapter Nineteen

Junie steps back until she crashes into a man holding a walking stick behind her.

“?’Scuse you!” he says, glaring at her before stomping through a tree and walking over the river.

She trips backward, expecting to hit the dark, living tree behind her, but instead, she falls straight through the trunk and flat to the ground.

“Where in Sam Hill did you take me?” Junie says, waving her arm back and forth through what had just been a solid tree trunk.

“Will you please get ahold of yourself?” Minnie says. “You think all these people can’t hear you or somethin’?”

“How am I supposed to know, Minnie?” She reaches for a glowing trunk, and her hand hits against it. She jumps.

“It’s the land of the haunts, Junie. Well, one of ’em, I guess. The people here call it the In-Between. I just brought you here for a little while so I could talk to you properly.” Her body looks just as alive as before, the same as before, but she seems like a shadow compared to the glowing haunts all around.

“You can do that?” Junie asks.

“I did it, didn’t I?” Minnie says. “That task you did made me stronger.”

The woods around her are transformed into a sea of candle flames. “Why are there so many people?” Junie asks.

“We all here for the same reason; our soul’s missions ain’t complete yet,” Minnie says. “So, before we can go on, we stay here, invisible except when we wanna be seen. As our missions get done, we get stronger, ’til we’re finally strong enough to go on to where we’re meant to be. These woods is special that way. It’s where all the Negroes’ souls in this area come together. It might be why you always liked it here so much, why you felt like it was special. Anyway, none of that really matters, Junie. What matters is what you found in that box.”

“What, proof that you were going to leave us?”

“Lord, I was not going to leave you, Junie!”

“Then what do you call freedom papers? If that’s sticking around, I hate to know what you think leaving looks like.”

“How in the devil was I supposed to free you and me at once, huh?” Minnie says. “I was gonna get free, then I was gonna come back, buy you, and set you free, too. Then we’d be together.”

“And what about Muh and Granddaddy? Or Auntie Marilla? Or even Bess? You were just gonna leave all of them?”

“I was gonna do what I could.”

“And who says I wanted to be free? That I wanted to go off from the plantation with you forever?”

“Everybody wants to be free, Junie. Nobody deserves to live their life like we do.”

“It’s my life, ain’t it? And you were just gonna make all the decisions for me, like always. I’m not some little girl anymore, Minnie. I should have a say.”

“You’re right, you should have a say. And you ain’t never gonna have one, not a real one, as long as you’re stuck at Bellereine.”

“Then why did you destroy them? They’re burnt up.”

Minnie sighs. “I…made a mistake. I know that now.”

“Then what does any of this even matter, anyway? Why make me find some papers that nobody will ever accept?”

“What else did you find in that box?” Minnie asks, her voice even.

“I saw that letter, from Mr. McQueen.”

“That don’t matter. What else?”

“Some smelly herbs, like something Muh would give us if we ate something rotten.”

Minnie smiles.

“You did good. But I need you to do somethin’ else for me.”

Junie crosses her arms and pouts.

“Junie, my spirit is only strong if I work on my soul’s mission. If I finish it, I get to go on. If I don’t get this done, if I don’t do what I’m meant to, my soul will…disappear. Maybe worse. Nobody knows what comes after that.”

Junie sits down, curling her legs back into her body again.

“I don’t know if I can help you with more of this,” Junie says. “It ain’t safe for me.”

Minnie gazes at her, tilting her head, before stretching her hand out to her.

“C’mon, stubborn, get up. Let’s take a little walk.”

Junie takes her sister’s hand and follows through the woods. The forest is thick with bodies; spirits as young as babies and as old as Granddaddy mingle through the trees. Some sit together in families, cradling their children. Others play games. Some sing. Others weep.

“Minnie, how—why are there so many Negroes here?”

“These plantations are ugly places, Junie. Lots of people don’t make it, or at least make it right. C’mon, keep up.”

Minnie leads Junie to a golden pond beneath a live oak tree. Beneath its metallic surface, hundreds of tiny fish, turtles, and frogs swim. Junie runs her fingertip over the surface.

“It’s…beautiful,” Junie says.

“You would think that,” Minnie says with a smirk, settling to sit next to her. “You always seeing beauty in the strangest places.”

Junie looks up from the water and meets her sister’s gaze. Here, Minnie’s face is like her own reflection in a broken looking glass; some details, like their long, thin fingers and thick hair, are perfectly mirrored, while others seem lost in the cracks. Each question she’s longed to ask her sister falls away from her memory. She reaches out her hand to touch Minnie’s, the cold fingers she never thought she’d feel again.

“You’re different here,” Junie says. “More substantial. More alive. I’ve…missed you like this.”

Her sister smiles softly. “It’s easier here, being…whatever I am.” Minnie pulls her hand away. “There’s some things I ought to tell you now, Junie. About me. About Momma.”

“Momma?” Junie says.

“That’s who owned that necklace before I did,” Minnie says. “I found it between some planks in the cabin. Turns out Momma had left it there before she got sold, thinking somebody might find it. She’s the one who started all this, visiting me as a girl the way she did.”

“Momma came back to Bellereine?” Junie says, stunned.

“Not the way you’re thinking,” Minnie says. The weight settles on Junie’s shoulders. Of course, her mother is dead. Of course, she’d become a ghost, too.

“Is Momma still here?”

“No,” Minnie says, tossing a rock into the pond. “She’s long gone now.”

“What happened to her?”

“Before here? Well, after McQueen sold her she lived a long time out in Mississippi until she caught some fever. Didn’t have the will to fight it, being away from family and all. Took her years after she crossed over to find her way back here, back to all of us. It was part of her soul’s mission. Anyway, by the time she did she was weak, with so many moons passed. She visited me that first night she returned.”

“Momma’s ghost came to you?”

Minnie nods.

“She told me where to find the box that went with it, told me to get my papers. She told me a lot of things.”

“So you completed her mission?” Junie asks. “That’s why she ain’t here?”

“You think all she wanted was to pass on some box?” Minnie laughs. “No, she wanted us all to escape. To get out of Bellereine as quick as we could.”

Junie’s eyes widen.

“Why didn’t we?”

“Momma’s mission was for all of us. You know better than I that nobody can make Muh and Granddaddy do anything they don’t want to, living or dead.”

“But what about the letter?” Junie asks. “The one from McQueen?”

Minnie leans back, her long hair dangling onto the earth.

“Momma knew William as a child, the way you know Violet. They were children together at Bellereine until he got older and went off to school, and she went to work in the house. It was later, when he came back from school, that he decided he loved Momma. His father was one to have his way with the Negro women, but McQueen thought he was different. He wanted to love her properly.”

Junie looks up from the pond, stomach churning. Minnie’s light eyes, her freckles, her wavy hair, all features lost in the cracks between them. They aren’t mysterious at all.

“McQueen is your father,” Junie says, not a question, but a statement.

“I’m as much your sister as Violet’s,” Minnie says.

“In blood at least,” Junie adds.

“It wasn’t until your father came to Bellereine that Momma found real happiness. There can’t be no love, real love, in a place like that. McQueen didn’t take well to Momma finding somebody else, having a baby with another man. Once McQueen got control of Bellereine, he sold her away. Like I said, no real love in a place like that.”

Junie’s blood boils. She’d lost her mother over Mr. McQueen’s hurt feelings?

“That’s why Momma got me to dig up that box. She knew if I had that letter, had what was in there, I could prove who my daddy was.”

“Does Violet know?” Junie asks.

“No. She’s not wise to most things going on,” Minnie says.

The air goes still between them.

“Violet was, maybe still is, courting,” Junie whispers. “With a horrible man. I wanna stop her, but I can’t. If she marries him, I have to go with her.”

“That was always gonna be her fate, Junie, if she ain’t strong enough to pick another one.”

“That’s the problem,” Junie says. “She loves him. She is pickin’ him. She waits on his letters night and day. He beat Caleb ’til he was bleeding over a parasol, and Violet wants to marry him. I don’t know what to do.”

“Is Caleb the boy…the one from the tree?”

Junie swallows. “Yes.”

“And where’s he gone now?”

“With Mr. Taylor, the one courting Violet. They left about a month ago.”

“Junie, there ain’t nothing you can do about anybody else’s choices. The only thing you can do is take control of your own. It’s what Momma wanted for us.”

Junie picks at her palms and watches the glowing ants run over her feet.

“I tried my best, Junie, to finish Momma’s tasks, but I…I didn’t make it. That’s why you got to do it. Muh and the old folks ain’t gonna leave, but you have to. You have to get yourself free.”

Free . The word drops like lead down on her shoulders.

“With freedom papers, like you got?”

“Freedom papers is a load of hogwash. They ain’t nothing but a white man’s trick. No, Junie, you gotta run, all on your own, until you get to someplace safe, someplace without masters.”

“Minnie, I’ll be killed for escaping. Most of the souls walkin’ around here probably got killed over far less. And what about Muh and Granddaddy? Or everybody else? I’m supposed to leave ’em?”

“You can’t save ’em all, Junie. You gotta save yourself first.”

Junie kicks a rock at her feet, stomach churning.

“So, that’s your second task, then?” Junie asks, staring down at her feet. “You want me to escape?”

“Not quite yet. There’s somethin’ you got to do first. You know that vial of leaves?” Minnie says. Junie nods. “The second task is to get McQueen to drink ’em. After you do, you got to run. That’s the last task.”

“What will happen?” Junie asks uneasily.

“Nothing you ought to worry about.”

“Why shouldn’t I worry? Ain’t I the one giving them to him?”

Minnie sighs, rolling her eyes.

“You’re always asking too many questions for your own good. Just do what I tell you to do.”

Junie bites her lips.

“The sun’s nearly up. I’ve got to take you back,” says Minnie. She puts her arms around Junie, enveloping her in cold darkness until they return to the land of the living. Minnie lets Junie go and steps away, blending into the rising sunlight.

“Why don’t you trust me to know nothing, Minnie?” Junie asks. The ghost’s eyes narrow as her lips start to move. Junie stops her.

“You never told me about Momma when you were alive. You never told me about Violet or McQueen being your blood. You never told me about the freedom papers,” Junie says, curling her hands into fists. “You never tell me nothing, but I’m supposed to just listen? I’m supposed to just follow you like some sick little puppy? I’m owed an explanation, Minnie, and not after the fact!”

“Lower…your voice,” Minnie hisses.

“You tell me what the leaves do, then. You tell me the truth, right now, or I ain’t gonna help you.”

“You don’t need to know no more than I already told you,” Minnie says.

“Why?” Junie asks. “Why won’t you trust me? Why can’t you just be true with me?”

“Because you’re my carefree little sister!” Minnie yells, the light raging in her face. “You break things! You don’t listen! You do foolish things that I spent my life dragging you out of!” Minnie points a glowing hand toward the river, and Junie’s heart sinks. “You’ve gotten to be a spoiled baby your whole life because I was the one who knew all the secrets. All the pain. I kept it from you so you could be happy, and you hated me for it!”

Dragging. Dragging her out of a cold river, saving her life, losing her own in its place. Junie’s pulse rises, limbs shaking. Minnie resents her, hates her even, for what she’s done. Junie starts to back away.

“ That’s what this is, ain’t it? It’s all for what I did?” Junie says, her voice cracking. “I didn’t ask you to dive into that river after me. If you hated me so much, then you shouldn’t have bothered to save me.”

Minnie’s face hardens as she edges closer, her light flickering. Talking has made her weaker.

“That…” Minnie trails. “That ain’t what I…”

“All these tasks, all these orders, are they just you getting back at me for fallin’ in that river?” Junie asks. “Is that why you want me to run, so I can get killed and you’ll know I got mine?”

“Junie!” Minnie yells, her spirit darkening into the night. “That…You’re being…”

“Carefree! Always carefree! That’s why you hate me. You always hated me deep down,” Junie screams, her voice clouding with tears. “I’m sorry that you’re dead, I’m sorry I’m the reason you’re stuck here, and I’m sorry that I’m the one who lived! I lost every part of myself that I could recognize the day you died, and I’ve been tryin’ and tryin’ for months to find what I lost. I thought…I thought doin’ this for you would fix it all, but it can’t never be fixed, ’cause the truth was you hated me long before I fell in that river! So there, Minnie, you did it, you broke me down small enough that I ain’t never gonna be right again! That ought to be enough to save your soul, because I ain’t doing no more of your tasks!”

Minnie gasps for words, eyes widened in horror. She lunges at Junie to pull her back into the In-Between. Junie slips from her grasp, running back through the woods and into the clearing of the plantation. Her breath catches in her throat as she draws in gulps of air, body heaving in tears, feeling lightness in her body for the first time in a long time.