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“Arrest warrants have been filed for two council members, one of them being Commissioner Joe Alfred, two city police officers, and a constable. More warrants are promised to come. The district attorney and detectives are combing through allegations with a fine-toothed comb, being sure to serve justice to everyone involved in the corruption of city and county officials after the incarceration and, later, death of Darlene Doll. They are looking at charges of embezzlement, money laundering, bribery, arson, and attempted murder.”

My mama and I sat in front of the TV, watching the news. Her mouth had dropped when she saw Samuel’s picture. Although I knew this was coming, it did nothing for my emotions. The tears flowed as if I was hearing these allegations for the first time.

“Oh my God!” she screamed. “Samuel! What were you thinking?”

She was staring at the TV, questioning his picture as if it would hear and respond to her. Tears were streaming down her face as well. I went to her and hugged her tightly as my body quaked. I could feel the hurt surging through her. It mirrored mine. Suddenly, she pulled away and stared at me. “You knew, didn’t you?”

I looked away from her. “Yes, only from being present when the lead detective spoke to Kyrie about it.”

“And you couldn’t warn your brother?”

I frowned. “And what exactly would that have done, besides cause me to lose my job? Samuel had already messed up! They already had evidence of his involvement.”

She slowly shook her head. “You put Judge Patrick’s interests before your brother’s. That’s what you did.”

I was stunned. How did what Samuel did become my fault? “You can’t be serious right now. The turmoil I’ve been in the past few days has been overwhelming, and you’re coming at me like I’m somehow responsible. I don’t believe this.”

I grabbed my purse and keys and prepared to leave. As I turned around to head out of her house, without another word, she grabbed my arm. “You’re right, baby. I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault. Lord, Jesus. I guess I’m just that quickly looking for someone else to blame except the person responsible. Maybe that’s why he thought this was okay. I babied him.”

“No. Don’t blame yourself. We both babied him, but Samuel is a grown man who knows right from wrong. I think Grandma knew what he was involved in. The police were using her as a safehouse of sorts. Kyrie stayed there for a while. I believe it was his way of taking the heat off his issues at work.”

I practically snapped my lips shut, realizing I had said too much. My mama stared at me, her eyes wide. “What issues at work?”

I closed my eyes. “Mama, you can’t say anything. I wasn’t supposed to let that out. He’s been written up several times for insubordination and misconduct. I truly believe the only reason he hasn’t been fired is because of his involvement in this foolishness. He obviously knows names—powerful ones—that are keeping his employment intact.”

She pulled away from me and sat on the couch as I set my purse and keys down on the countertop and went to sit next to her. I pulled her in my arms as we continued watching the news. The constable and one of the city council members had already turned themselves in. Samuel was still in the wind, and it had been over a week since I’d heard from him. Turning to my mama, I said, “Let’s go.”

She frowned slightly and asked, “Where are we going?”

“To Grandma’s house. I’m more than sure she knows where Samuel is. When I messaged her to ask if she’d heard from him, her only response was that he was fine. I haven’t talked to Samuel in over a week, despite my attempts to reach him.”

“Yeah. Same here. Honestly, I felt like something was going on with him, but I would have never thought it was something like this. I thought he was depressed or something.”

Samuel had a bout with depression a few years ago when he was first trying to get on the force. The academy had turned him inside out, making him feel inadequate and unworthy. So for him to do this, as badly as he wanted to be on the force, had me thoroughly confused. We stood from the couch and headed out to my car as my phone rang.

I didn’t want to speak to anyone other than Samuel and my grandmother right now. I’d already talked to Kyrie while en route to my mother’s house, so I knew it wasn’t him. I didn’t want to hear a word from anyone, especially not the media. Everyone employed by the city and the county police force, along with firefighters, knew he was my brother. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone ratted him out, instead of the evidence Detective Johnson claimed to have had.

Bransford came to mind when I thought about how quickly his attitude changed. If he did, there would be nothing I could do about it, especially if Samuel was actually guilty of those crimes. I believed that he was guilty simply because he was avoiding our mom and me. He knew how important communication was to us. We always wanted to know that he was okay… that he was maintaining. Plus, the last conversation we had came to mind. I love you… always remember that.

I slowly shook my head as I got in the driver’s seat. Being that Samuel had depression issues, I could only pray that he wouldn’t take the same route Darlene Doll took. Once my mama got in, I quickly backed out of her driveway as tears streamed down my cheeks. My phone started ringing again, and I rolled my eyes. I grabbed it from the console, where I’d thrown it when I got in the car, and silenced it. The screen adorned a number that wasn’t programmed in my phone, so I surely wasn’t in a hurry to answer it.

Throwing it back to the console, I focused on getting us to my grandmother’s house in one piece. The ride was quiet, neither of us offering any words of consolation. I had to assume that, like me, my mama didn’t have any. Thankfully, my grandmother didn’t live too far away from my mother’s house. I noticed my grandmother’s car was outside. That was a telltale sign that something was up. The last time her car was outside, Kyrie was staying there.

We quickly got out of my car and practically ran to the door. I knocked then rang the doorbell, feeling extremely impatient. Apparently, she wasn’t moving fast enough for my mother, because she started knocking on the door as well. Sensing her urgency, I started ringing the bell repeatedly. My grandmother flung the door open with a frown on her face. However, when she saw us, her frown lifted into an expression of surprise.

“What’s going on? Why are y’all knocking and ringing my doorbell like that? Did something happen?” she asked, firing off questions one after the next.

We both walked inside her house without an invite and saw Samuel sitting on the couch. He looked disgusted, as he should be. “Samuel…” my mama said, then immediately started crying all over again.

I was trying to channel my feelings of hurt versus those of anger when I sat next to him. I glanced at my grandmother as she stood there looking as pitiful as he did. “Samuel, I only have one question.”

He looked at me as I grabbed his hand. “Why?”

He swallowed hard, again lowering his head. My grandmother sat across from us, and she said, “He’s never been able to live up to your standards.”

I frowned and turned to her. “No disrespect, but I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Samuel. I want to hear what he has to say.”

Why was I the one getting all the blame? What expectations? I only wanted Samuel to do what was right, be a grown ass man, and be able to sustain himself. That was what was referred to as adulting. How was that too much to ask of a grown man? My grandmother stood from her seat. “You said ‘no disrespect,’ but that was very disrespectful, Chief Farris.”

“But it was very truthful. Samuel is an adult who can speak for himself. I want to hear his reasoning from him.”

I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but I was able to restrain myself. When I turned back to him, he said, “I felt the pressure of being successful. That wasn’t your fault, Gen. You and Mama bragged on how good of a man Dad was all the time. I just wanted to live up to those standards. Because you went to the fire academy, I decided to go to the police academy. Dad was a first responder, and I wanted to be like the man y’all admired so much. I probably would have done better learning a trade.”

I frowned slightly. He said it wasn’t my fault, but his explanation almost made it seem like he was blaming us for expressing how great Dad was. That couldn’t be further from the truth though. I barely remembered Dad. I had just turned four when he died. “I’m confused, Sam. I couldn’t brag on Dad to that extent because I barely remember him. I only know what I was told about his personality.”

“I know. It’s not an excuse. I’m just explaining the self-imposed pressure I was under. I just wanted to be great, following in his footsteps of service. I obviously wasn’t cut out for it. I was about to be fired. However, I walked in on some things I shouldn’t have seen and heard some things I shouldn’t have heard. I told them to either cut me in and preserve my job, or I was gon’ sing like a canary.”

“How long ago was that? And who is ‘them’?”

“That was a couple of years ago, and you know I can’t tell you who.”

“There is a warrant out for your arrest, Sam. They are going to want names. I’m more than sure they will offer you a deal for them. You are going to have to turn yourself in. This is probably the next place they will look after going to your place.”

“I’ll be here when they get here then. I’m not turning myself in. That makes me look guilty.”

“No, it doesn’t!” my mama interjected. “It makes you look innocent! It makes it look like you’re willing to cooperate with them to get this confusion resolved.”

I was trying not to yell at him, but he was taking me there, too, so I was glad she did it and not me. He would have assumed I was just saying that because I worked for the city. He probably would have accused me of working with the “opps.” Had he done that, I would have slapped the piss out of him. My brother was an idiot. Who didn’t know that turning yourself in was a good thing?

He glanced at my mama and lowered his head. I had never heard her really yell at him as an adult. If anything, she typically made excuses for him, like she’d initially done and how my grandmother had done. When she turned her attention to my grandmother, I braced for what she would say. The look on her face made me nervous. I’d never witnessed a serious argument between the two of them, but I felt like that time was coming now.

“Mama, are you involved in all of this?”

Oh, damn. I didn’t expect her to ask that question. I was expecting something along the lines of why she didn’t tell us or something close to that.

“Why would you think I was involved in this?”

“I mean, you didn’t bother telling me that my son had some issues at work. I’m his mother. I should have known.”

My grandmother frowned. “What makes you think I knew?”

“He’s here, isn’t he? Clearly, he’s been confiding in you. Instead of offering him sound advice, you’ve been coddling him like a child. If you want to blame someone for his behavior, make sure you include yourself. We all babied him, you and me even more so.”

My grandmother looked like she wanted to spit nails. Just as she stood from her seat, there was a knock on the door. We all stilled and became silent. Just as I figured, the police had probably come here to arrest him. Grandma went to the door. We remained quiet, and that was the only reason we heard my brother whisper, “I’m sorry.”

When my grandmother walked into the room with Kyrie, I was thoroughly surprised. Sam’s eyes widened for a moment, then he frowned. I stood from my seat. “Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I knew you would be having a hard time, so I’m here to comfort you… to be here for you.”

“Oh, I see what this is,” my brother said, suddenly finding his balls. “You tryna talk me into turning myself in because of him. He’s your primary concern now.”

I was so sick of this bull. I didn’t know why I became the punching bag in this situation, but I didn’t deserve it. I frowned hard as Kyrie wrapped his arm around me, trying to hold me in place.

I jerked away from him, though, and practically ran to my brother and slapped the spit out of his mouth. “You know, I’m so sick of being blamed for your lack of judgment. This has nothing to do with my love for him. This is about you! Even now, you lack the ability to take responsibility for your own actions!”

“Genesis, you put your hands on me again, you’re gonna see how much responsibility I will take. If it weren’t for me, you would still be fighting with Bransford. Actually, you wouldn’t even be the chief. How about that reality check? The only reason you are the chief is because of my influence, speaking up for you and making some things happen. You aren’t better than me, and I wish you’d stop acting like it.”

Kyrie stepped in front of me. My brother had just threatened me. It was time for me to go. I nodded my head repeatedly. “I see how it is, Samuel. All I’ve ever done was love you, but this is the treatment I get, because you can’t figure out how to be a productive citizen. Kyrie was even going to put in a word for you if it came down to it. After this, I won’t allow it. You get what you get. I’m done.”

I snatched up my ringing phone from the couch and walked out with Kyrie and my mother on my heels. My heart was hurting, because in no way did I expect to get attacked that way. I was so angry I couldn’t even cry. Samuel was only younger than me by a little under three years. Before I could get inside the car, Kyrie wrapped his strong arms around me from behind. “I’m so sorry, baby. Had I known my presence would have made this worse, I would have stayed home.”

“It’s not your fault. I was already under attack.”

I glanced at my mother, and she lowered her head and walked to my passenger side. I unlocked the doors so she could get in, then turned around in Kyrie’s arms. “I’ll meet you at my place after I take her home.”

“Okay. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

I watched him walk to his car parked along the curb. Once he got inside, I got inside my car and backed out of the driveway. I swallowed the lump in my throat, wanting my anger to stay at the forefront. I was tired of crying over this situation. After all the heartache and anxiety I felt about this, to be attacked this way was so unfair. I didn’t deserve this, and I still couldn’t believe it had happened.

As I drove to my mother’s house, she said, “I’m so sorry, Genesis. This is all my fault. Growing up, I held you to a standard as the oldest. I was harder on you than I was on him, and it shows. Your grandmother and I both were. He’s our baby, but we crippled him. His reasons for doing this doesn’t even make sense to me. I think he’s lying, and honestly, I think Mama is lying too.”

I glanced at her as she slowly shook her head. “How did anyone know where Kyrie was unless she and Samuel were in cahoots?”

“Well, Samuel could have done that on his own. He had access to that information,” I deduced.

“I don’t know. Either that or she told him. I just… I don’t know. She’s defending him too hard. It’s like she has something to lose. I don’t like it.”

“Mama, she’s always defended him hard. She’s just never done that against me, especially when I had nothing to do with it. I’m just trying to figure out why he thinks he had something to do with me becoming chief.”

“Maybe he swayed some of the council members since two of them were arrested today.”

“Yeah, maybe so, but I don’t like how it makes me feel. It’s like he’s making it seem like I didn’t deserve my position. I worked hard, and I still do. Why did he think he needed to do that for me?”

My feelings spilled all over my face in the form of tears… the ones I thought I had in a chokehold. I truly wanted to resign at this point. I was the best person for the job. I knew I was, but knowing that he had something to do with why I got the position made me sick inside.

When I got to my mother’s house, I put the car in park and said, “I’m not going in. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, baby. I guess I’ll watch the news to see when they catch up with him.”

I nodded as she got out of my car. I sat there until she was safely inside, then backed out and headed home. This was a day from hell, and I just wanted it to be over as soon as possible. I was thankful that I had Kyrie to lean on, because I needed the support more than ever. Not being able to count on my family for that was foreign to me. However, I knew there was nothing I could do to change that. It made me see just how they really felt, including my mother. Her first reaction was to blame me.

I’d never been so hurt. My daddy came to mind, and I could only wonder if things would have happened the way they did if he were still alive. It seemed it was me against the world now. I was the bad guy for caring and loving people who I thought felt the same about me. My family turning on me revealed where we stood. I would stay in my bubble from now on because I never wanted to feel this empty again.