Page 36 of Johan. (Van Den Bosch #8)

Hannah looks at me, her eyes filled with frustration and pain, making my heart clench. “And then what? She’ll go ask her daddy to get me expelled. She’s such an awful person. I can’t believe she’s doing this.” Her voice breaks, the raw emotion causing her to tremble slightly.

I squeeze her hand gently, hoping to convey my support and determination. "Hannah, I’d rather face Dean Pembroke and Ludovic myself than see you hurt so much.”

Her eyes soften, but the worry remains etched in her features. “We promised Dr. Angela and my aunt we would follow the plan. When are you going to Oman?” she asks, her voice trembling, almost as if she's trying to hold back tears.

“I think it’s the fifteenth or so.” I brush a strand of hair behind her ear tenderly, wanting to soothe her, if only a little.

Her face falls in disappointment. “Oh, well, class only starts on the 21st.”

“Does that mean you’re staying here until then?” I ask, worried that I might not see her before I leave for Oman.

“I was supposed to.” She shakes her head, sniffing back tears, her sadness palpable. “Loving you hurts so much, Johan. Elise was right to judge me on bringing an engaged man here.”

The weight of her words hits me hard, and I scramble for a solution. “What if I ask Conrad to bring you as his plus one? We could spend New Year’s Eve together.”

She pulls away slightly, her face twisting in bitterness. “And watch you playing the perfect fiancé? No, thank you.”

Desperation creeps into my voice. “Can you at least meet me before I leave for Oman? I’m sure Amelia wants to schedule a meeting before I go.”

“I don’t know.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “Maybe I should just get used to not seeing you.”

“What if I come back after New Year’s Eve?” I ask, my heart aching at the thought of losing her. “I can fly back the next day or so.”

Her shoulders sag. “Astrid will figure everything out and ruin us.”

I reach out, cupping her face in my hands, trying to pour all my love and determination into my touch. “Maybe it’s worth giving it a try.”

Just then, a knock on the door interrupts us. Hannah’s voice, tinged with resignation, calls out, “Yes?”

Someone opens the door from the other side, and a housekeeper shows up. “Ms. Hannah, sorry to disturb you, but your parents are downstairs. They have arrived for the luncheon, and your aunts too.”

She sighs, standing up with a visible effort. “Let’s go. It’s going to be a long day.”

As I leave the bedroom, a sense of impending dread settles over me. The holidays, meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, have become a minefield of complications and heartbreak. But I’m determined to navigate it all for Hannah’s sake. For our sake.

As we descend the stairs, the sounds of conversation and clinking glasses grow louder, filling the space with a warm, familial ambiance.

The aroma of savory appetizers wafts through the air, mingling with the faint scent of pine from the Christmas decorations.

In the living room, the family is gathered around, enjoying appetizers and champagne.

Plates of cheese, crackers, and assorted hors d'oeuvres are spread out on the coffee table, and the atmosphere is cozy and inviting.

Hannah pauses, her brow furrowing as she surveys the room, noticing the absence of a few key people. “Where are Elise and Andries?” she asks, turning to Julia, who is arranging a platter of shrimp cocktails.

Julia glances up, her smile reassuring as she sits beside her husband. “Elise’s having lunch at Dan’s, and Andries is at his in-laws’.”

Before we can respond, Arthur rushes into the room, his face alight with excitement, brandishing his sword and dragon. “Look, everyone! Look at my dragon!”

His parents’ faces light up with pride and delight, and Julia's eyes soften as she watches the scene unfold. She crouches down to her son’s level, her smile warm and encouraging. “Show us what you’ve got, sweetheart!”

Arthur eagerly demonstrates a little swordfight, the dragon roaring in his imagination. Laughter bubbles up from the family, filling the room with joy.

Hannah stands, turning to the others. “This reminds me of the duel Joris and Johan had.” She pulls out her iPhone, her fingers deftly navigating to the video. “I took a video. Let me show you.”

As the video plays for her parents, I can’t help but watch Hannah.

Her eyes sparkle with amusement, and a genuine smile spreads across her face, the tension from earlier seemingly forgotten.

Seeing her so happy makes my heart ache with a mixture of love and longing.

If I could spend New Year's Eve here or just with her, it would be perfect.

Julia’s voice pulls me back to the present. “Johan, you handled that duel so well.”

Seb nods in agreement, a thoughtful expression on his face. “It's surprising how well you managed, considering you didn't grow up with siblings.”

As we continue to enjoy the appetizers and champagne in the living room, I can’t shake the nagging thoughts about the NYE ball at Astrid’s.

The idea of being paraded around as her fiancé feels unbearable.

I glance around the room, taking in the warm, familial atmosphere, and a plan begins to take shape in my mind.

I excuse myself, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’ll be right back, just need to make a quick call.”

I hurry upstairs to the bedroom, my heart pounding with the urgency of my new plan. Once inside the room, I lock the door behind me so as not to be disturbed. Dialing my father’s number, I feel a cold sweat forming on my brow. He answers after a few rings, his voice gruff and impatient.

“Hello, son,” he says, his tone giving away his impatience. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dad,” I reply, trying to ease into the conversation. “I hope you’re having a good day. I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“Alright, but make it quick. We’re about to head for lunch. What’s on your mind?” he responds, a hint of annoyance still in his voice.

“Dad, we need to withdraw our acceptance to the Goschen ball,” I say quickly, unable to keep the urgency out of my voice.

“What? Why?” His tone is sharp, bordering on incredulous.

“I’m sure we have another family gathering we can’t miss,” I say, hoping it sounds convincing enough.

“Nonsense, Johan. This is a major event. Everyone will be there. You need to be there, as Astrid’s fiancé.”

“Dad, I don’t feel capable of doing this.”

His voice hardens, each word like a blow. “You better find the will if you don’t want me to tell everyone where you spent Christmas.”

My heart stops. “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Johan. Look, I don’t care as long as Astrid believes you’re here, but you will be present for this masquerade ball. No more excuses.”

I hang up, my hands shaking in despair. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I bury my face in my hands, the exhaustion and frustration washing over me like a tidal wave.

The ache in my chest deepens as I think of Hannah’s family—so kind, so supportive.

And Margaret, with her ever-watchful eyes, fiercely protective of her grandchildren.

Why couldn’t I have a family like that? Why did I end up with a dad who sees me as nothing more than a pawn in his game?

Why is everyone so quick to throw me to the wolves to save their own skin?

Feeling a gnawing sense of hopelessness, I dial Conrad’s number. The phone rings three times before his cheerful voice breaks through the silence. “What’s up, man? Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Conrad,” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady. “How’s the day going?”

“Pretty good, just finished a huge meal. How about you?”

“Yeah, same here,” I say, the lie rolling off my tongue. My shoulders slump as I take a deep breath. “Listen, are you going to the masquerade ball at the Goschens’?”

“Yeah, my parents received the invite, so there’s that.” He pauses, and I can almost hear the gears turning in his head. “Why?”

“I don’t want to go, man. I don’t want to be shown off as a shiny object on Astrid’s arm.”

He sighs, a mixture of sympathy and resignation in his voice. “Ha, yes, but I’m afraid you’re gonna have to.”

Then there’s only one option left. My mind mulls over the delicate question I need to ask.

“It’s a masquerade ball,” I begin slowly, choosing my words with care. “You might need a plus one. Would you mind taking Hannah?” My voice is tinged with desperation, the plea almost a whisper.

Conrad’s answer cut right through my heart, though. “I already have a plus one. I’m sorry.”

I let out a heavy sigh, feeling the hopelessness tighten its grip. “I understand.”

A small pause follows, filled with an oppressive silence that seems to stretch on for eternity. Finally, Conrad breaks the stillness. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

He takes a second more than usual before asking his question. “Are you seriously considering missing it?”

“I am.” The admission feels like a release, yet it only heightens my anxiety.

“Wow.” He heaves a long sigh filled with disapproval. “I mean, you do you, but be ready to face the consequences too.”

I take another deep breath, attempting to steady myself. “I know. My own dad just threatened me. The situation seems pretty hopeless. Hannah is going to be heartbroken.”

“It’s not an easy situation.” His answer is laced with sympathy. “Good luck, mate.”

“Thanks. See you soon. Merry Christmas, and give my regards to your family.”

“Will do.”

With that, the conversation ends, leaving me standing alone in the room, surrounded by the echoes of our words and the enormity of the choices ahead.

I drop the phone on the bed, staring blankly at the wall. The room feels colder, and I wrap my arms around myself, trying to find some semblance of comfort. The silence is deafening, each passing second a reminder of the looming ball and the inevitable decision I will have to make.

Taking a deep breath, I head back downstairs to the living room. Everyone is still gathered around, enjoying the appetizers and champagne. I feel the weight of their eyes on me as I enter. “Sorry for the delay,” I say, trying to muster a smile as I sit beside Hannah.

She looks at me with concern, but I force a smile, trying to mask the turmoil inside.

As the family continues to chat and laugh, the warmth and cheer of the room feel distant to me.

The holidays, meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, have become a minefield of complications and heartbreak.

But I’m determined to navigate it all for Hannah’s sake. For our sake.

Lunch has passed in a blur, the taste of the food overshadowed by the weight of my thoughts.

After lunch, everyone migrates to the petit salon, including the three kids, who are very animated and eager to play with their toys.

Their laughter and energy fill the room, creating a stark contrast to the heaviness I feel.

Hannah keeps up appearances, playing her part flawlessly, never showing any sign of weakness.

Her smile is unwavering, her laughter genuine, or at least convincing enough to fool everyone else.

I, on the other hand, feel out of place, the festive atmosphere clashing with my inner turmoil.

Once my drink is empty, I head to the bar for a refill, seeking a brief escape from the familiar ritual.

Amelia approaches, her presence a comforting familiarity. “The kids are really enjoying their new toys, aren't they?” she says with a smile, glancing at the children.

“Yeah, they’re having a blast,” I respond, trying to match her lighthearted tone. “Lunch was great too. The roast was cooked perfectly.”

Amelia nods. “Absolutely. And that dessert? I think I could have eaten the whole thing by myself.”

I chuckle, though my heart isn’t in it. “Yeah, it was delicious.”

But then her expression shifts, concern creeping into her tone. “What's up, Johan? You seem like you saw a ghost.”

I take a deep breath, the weight of my confession pressing on me. “It's the NYE’s ball at the Goschens,” I admit, the words heavy on my tongue.

Amelia's eyes widen with a flash of understanding. “I get it. You don't want to leave Hannah behind, do you?”

I heave a sigh, exhaustion etched into my features. “I don’t even want to go myself.”

Amelia gently takes the glass from my hand and pours some Macallan into it, her movements deliberate and calming.

“I understand it's hard when your heart isn’t in it.

But we all have our roles to play. If Astrid finds out you're here, she'll tell her dad, and he might reveal Hannah’s secret getting her expelled.”

“Maybe I can find a way to convince Dean Pembroke to keep Hannah,” I suggest, grasping at straws. “Or I can talk to Ludovic; he needs me for the expedition. He doesn't have time to find someone else.”

Amelia shakes her head slowly, her expression turning serious.

“Creating mistrust and friction will only make him lose trust in you. We need him to see you as the perfect son he never had. Otherwise, he will never give you access to the inner circle. His contacts, the locations where the sales happen... Hannah will understand.”

I look at her, the weight of her words sinking in.

The reality of our situation feels suffocating, but I know she's right.

The stakes are too high, and our plan too precarious to risk any missteps.

I nod slowly, the resolve building within me.

“You're right. I just… wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Amelia places a reassuring hand on my arm. “We all do, Johan. But for now, we have to stay the course. For Hannah, and for all of us.”

I take another deep breath, steeling myself for the challenges ahead. The room around me buzzes with life and laughter, but my mind is already planning the next move, determined to protect those I love, no matter the cost.