Page 9 of Joel (Guardians of the North #6)

KYLIE

The view from Joel’s back porch is stunning.

North Haven is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited, and yet, until this morning, I haven’t had the good sense to pay attention and appreciate my surroundings. How many times will I make it to Alaska in my lifetime?

I sip on my coffee, admiring the mountains that frame the bay and the gentle fog swirling around them in a wispy, whimsical pattern. The white-gray is a gentle contrast to the blue water and the hunter green of the evergreens.

It’s a peacefully overcast morning.

There is no urgency.

No agenda.

No covert mission to plan.

No illegal treasure to find.

There’s only this quiet, easy moment that finds me wrapped in a blanket the smells like pine and clean linen— like Joel . I could sit here savoring my coffee every morning and never tire of it. I bet even the winter is pretty. Though I’ll be admiring the scenery from inside the hot tub.

I would admire it. If I were really marrying Joel and staying.

But this engagement is all just a prank.

Somewhere out there, just past the bay, the wreckage of The Esmerelda hides in plain sight, and the reminder of that forms a pit in my stomach.

“There you are,” Joel says, appearing in a pair of boxers and nothing else.

I gulp a swallow at the rows of washboard abs on display as he stretches his arms overhead.

There’s an anchor tattooed on his bicep, and a more elaborate design on his upper thigh I’d really like to explore further, perhaps with my tongue.

“Feeling better?”

“Sorry about last night.” He rubs sleep from his eyes, taking the seat next to mine.

“Sorry about what?”

“I was a zombie.”

It was after ten when Joel showed back up at the hotel to pick me up.

Dinner was postponed due to the emergency.

He insisted I check out of my room because I wasn’t going to need it anymore.

He ran his palm along my thigh on the short drive back to his house, but the poor man collapsed two minutes after we got home, before he could even finish his dinner.

There was no breaking in the hot tub like we planned.

And when I woke this morning, he was out like the dead.

“You had an emergency,” I remind him.

“Yeah.”

I turn to look at him, finding a vacant look in his eyes. I reach for his hand and squeeze. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” I give his hand one more squeeze before dropping it and offer him a sip of my coffee.

“Thanks,” he says, taking it eagerly. After a hearty gulp, he adds, “We had to rescue four men from a fishing vessel that was taking on water.”

“Did everyone make it?” I ask delicately.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, good.”

“It was a long day. Seas were a little rougher than the day you were on them. One of the fishermen had a pretty bad gash on his head, and another one had a broken arm. But otherwise, they’re thankfully unscathed.”

I stay silent, sensing he wants to say more but not wanting to push him into it. It’s this strange yet certain knowing. As though we’ve known each other for years rather than two days. As though we’ve had many conversations that require handling with care.

“You remember when Nancy asked me how it felt to have my twentieth save?”

“Yeah. It’s twenty-four now, right?”

“Twenty-two. We had two crews out there.”

“Twenty-two is a number to be proud of.”

He nods, half committedly. Like that stat doesn’t mean much to him.

“I didn’t know it was twenty that day of the interview.

That’s not the number I keep track of.” He hands me back my cup of coffee, our fingers brushing.

And though there’s heat at the graze, it’s gentle and comforting.

Not demanding as it’s been before. He doesn’t meet my gaze, just stares ahead at the bay.

“Four is the number that matters to me. Four is the number of souls I couldn’t save. ”

“But you saved everyone yesterday.”

“Yeah,” he says, standing.

I catch his wrist, sliding my fingers into his palm. “Talk to me, Joel.”

“You don’t want to hear this.”

“I do.”

He hesitates for a beat, but eventually he sinks back into the chair beside mine. I set down my coffee mug and crawl into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my cheek on his shoulder.

“Last winter, there was a bad storm that came off the mountains. Hundred knot winds.” My blanket slips off my arm, and Joel strokes the bare skin of my shoulder with his thumb.

“That’s category three hurricane force winds.

It took us two hours to fly five miles. Same route would’ve taken minutes in clear conditions. ”

He pauses again, and I wait in comfortable, patient silence for him to continue.

“It was January, and the wind chill was negative thirty. Our helicopter was rocking so damn hard. But there was a fishing vessel with four men trapped inside. They were taking on water, and their generator was going. They were going to freeze.”

A chill crawls up my spine as I sense exactly where this story is going.”

“We tried everything we could, but sending a swimmer down in that kind of wind… I probably would’ve ended up in the rotor blades.”

He doesn’t have to explain what that would have meant, because I understand. The entire Coast Guard crew would’ve been lost at sea.

“We had to turn back. We had to tell them we were leaving them behind.”

“Oh, Joel,” I say, kissing his neck.

“Another crew came out right behind us, but the storm slowed them too. They were too late.” His hand slides up my shoulder, then my neck. I lift my head, unable to look away from his parted lips. “They train us to expect this. They train us how to make that awful fucking decision.”

“But—”

“Anyway, yesterday, it just reminded me of…January.”

I shift in his lap, my knees sliding to either side of his thighs. “Let me help you forget it all,” I say, trailing kisses from his collarbone, up his neck, and onto his temple. “Just for a little bit.”

“Kylie—”

“Please?” My plea is hardly a whisper, but it’s desperate. Because in this moment, the only thing I want is to take away this brave man’s pain.

I shimmy, bringing our bodies even closer. The blanket falls away, exposing my hard nipples barely covered by a thin cotton tank top. Joel buries his face in the valley between my breasts. I feel him harden against my spread legs, and I’m instantly wet.

He drags my lips to his, and our mouths move together slowly, deliberately, passionately.

Fuck, am I… falling for this man?

A loud wrapping startles us both, and I hop off Joel’s lap as though we’re teenagers who were nearly caught by a teacher making out behind the bleachers.

“What—”

“Where are you two lovebirds?” a female voice announces.

“If you’re naked, get some clothes on,” another woman’s voice adds.

“I know you haven’t officially met us yet, Kylie, but we’re taking you wedding dress shopping,” a third chimes in.

“We have to get a move on it,” another says. “You two didn’t give us much time to plan anything.”

“What the?—”

Joel picks up my blanket and wraps it around me. We’re still out on the covered porch, but we’ll have to face this mob of women any second. “I might have said something to the J-Squad about our getting married tomorrow. I meant to warn you last night, but?—”

Though panic is pulsing through my entire body right now, I force an easy smile.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, surprising myself.

Going wedding dress shopping with the wives of Joel’s closest friends is a far cry from playing fake fiancé at a single dinner out in a public place, but I’ll manage.

This is something I can do for him today.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

I force another smile and pull the blanket around me tighter. “It might be fun.”