Page 27 of Jingle Bells and Tentacle Spells

As if to prove her point, Felix sits up straighter. “No way. Hardly anyone on Earth knows anything about it. I honestly felt a bit weird for my level of investment in it.”

Sasha shakes his head. “Dude, it’s amazing, and totally inspired the title for my show. But we’ll get to that in a minute.” Sasha grins at Felix, puffing his chest out with pride. “I actually know the author.”

“Shut the front door,” my brother says with a gasp. “You know KirklovesSpock4eva?”

“Fuck yeah. His real name is River Sullivan. And, get this, he works for the Alliance for Neutral Alien Lifeforms on Earth.” He smirks. “He calls it Team ANAL. Get it?”

“No freaking way! You’re joking.”

“Gay jokes always involve dick or ass,” I lament.

“So predictable, right?” Luna agrees.

We share a mutual sympathetic look.

“I’m so glad to have another woman on board the ship now.” Luna leans closer, licking her pale green lips. “Especially you, gorgeous.”

“For real,” Sasha continues. He and Felix are clearly oblivious to everyone else in the room at this moment. “I’m fucking pen pals with him. We write each other emails on the regular. He hasn’t had a chance to travel to outer space yet, but he’s dying to do so, and from what he’s told me, he should be able to in a couple more years. We’re gonna try to meet up and go to Tentacular Tales Con.”

Felix jumps to his feet, eyes alight. “What???”

Sasha grins knowingly. “That’s right, there’s a fucking intergalactic fan convention forTentacular Talesthat happens every year. It’s one of the biggest conventions around the universe.”

“What is even happening right now?” Najar mutters to himself.

Luna and I chuckle in unison.

Felix reaches out and grabs Sasha’s hands. “Wehaveto go.”

He’s clearly found his tentacle-porn brother.

Sasha grins evilly. “Fuck yeah, we do.” He looks over at his husband and mock glares. “Make it so, Tentacle Boy.”

I arch an eyebrow at Luna and mouth, “Tentacle Boy?”

She waves a tentacle in the air. “It’s their thing. You’ll get used to it.”

Khephren clearly doesn’t mind the endearment and happily flaps several tentacles in the air, blowing Sasha a kiss. “Anything for you, my love.”

Finally, it seems Najar can hold back no longer.

“So, you read that tentacle-porn space opera, huh?” he asks my brother, eyes intent.

Felix’s cheeks turn bright red.

I can’t help it. I start cackling with laughter. “You don’t know the half of it, Najar. Not only does he read it and fanboy over it like nobody’s business, but he also writes his ownTentacular Talesfanfic.”

Felix groans and covers his face with his hands. “Gemma,” he whines, “I hadn’t told him about that yet.”

I shrug, wholly unrepentant. “You snooze, you lose, bro.”

Luna gives a soft snicker.

“Are you sure we need to bring her along with us?” Felix stage-whispers to everyone while pointing at me.

I reach over and flick him on the forehead.

“Oww!” he protests.