Page 15 of Jilted

Chapter Thirteen

A my’s heart thundered in her chest, and it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. Her hands trembled, and she felt like she was going to throw up. Time seemed to slow to a snail’s pace.

Brett wanted her.

How many times had she fantasized about hearing him say that? And now that he had, she was totally freaking out, having a full-blown panic attack.

“I need...Oh, God, room...air...” She wiggled free of his hold and walked into the bedroom, taking several gulps of air. It did nothing to calm her; it only made her dizzy. She sat on the edge of the bed and hung her head between her legs.

“Amy, are you?—?”

She motioned with her hand for him to stop. “Yeah, I just need a minute to think.”

“Okay.”

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to calm down. Brett wanted her. It was a dream come true, but instead of embracing it, she was thinking about it. So many questions raced through her mind, but she couldn’t get her mouth to form the words.

“It’s nice to know the thought of being with me is so appealing,” he snapped sarcastically. His voice sounded dejected, hurt, pissed off. She couldn’t blame him. He’d put himself out there, and she’d basically rejected him.

Amy jerked her head up to look at him, but he was halfway down the stairs already. She chased after him. “Brett!”

“What?” He stopped and turned around, waiting for her to respond.

Slowly, one by one, she walked down the stairs until she was standing a few steps in front of him, giving her a height advantage. Drawing a nervous breath, she said, “The thought of being with you is very appealing, trust me.”

Brett’s blue eyes sparked with understanding, but before he could speak, she continued. “And believe me, you have no idea how hard it is to stand here, trying to do the right thing.”

He took one step closer to her, and she once again found it difficult to breathe.

“And what’s that?” he asked.

Amy came down another two steps so that there was no more space between them.

Then she kissed him. She knew it was a mistake to do so, but she also knew that once she told him no to his little request, there would be no more kisses – ever – and she needed this final embrace like she needed her next breath.

Reluctantly, she pulled away and answered him. “Not giving into that.”

His gaze bore into hers, and if it wasn’t for the fact that his hands still lingered on her back, holding her, she would’ve run back upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom until she got her raging libido in check.

“What makes you think that’s the right thing to do? Huh? Tell me, Amy, because honestly, that felt pretty damn right to me.”

She pushed his hands away and took another step back up the stairs, away from him. “Our friendship comes first, Brett. It always has and it always will. I’ve told you, I’m not willing to risk it for sex.”

A slow, cocky, self-assured smile lit up his face. “But you want to, don’t you?”

“What? Risk our friendship? No.” She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

His smile grew bigger, more noticeable – so did the throbbing in her clit. “No. I mean sex...with me...you want to.” He took a step forward, and she took a step back. “And don’t try to lie to me, Amy. I felt it in the way you just kissed me.”

Damn it! She knew that was a mistake.

“You want me,” one step forward for him and one back for her, “just as much as I want you.”

She nervously licked her lips. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“So, it is true?” He took another step, but this time she didn’t move.

Looking him squarely in the eyes, she said, “Will hearing me say it make you feel better? Hmm? Will it?” She didn’t wait for his answer.

“Yes, Brett, I want you. I want you more than you’ll ever know, but that still doesn’t change the fact that this is a bad idea.

” She put another three steps between them.

Brett seemed genuinely shocked by her admission, but he quickly recovered from it. “Says who?”

She stared at him dumbfounded. “Me. Every other person on earth who thought sleeping with their best friend was a good idea.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “And enlighten me as to who said this had to be an either-or situation?”

Aw hell! How the fuck was she supposed to answer that?

In her mind, it was either or because she couldn’t handle being just friends with benefits.

When it came to Brett Hudson, it was all or nothing.

There was no way she’d survive losing his friendship if the sex didn’t work out.

And it would be even worse if they went from friends to dating, and then that didn’t work out.

No way. It was safer to just be his friend – no matter how badly she wanted him.

“One night, Amy.” He closed the distance between them, and she was frozen in place. “That’s all I’m asking for, just one night.”

Oh, great, so he doesn’t want me, he just wants sex. Tears burned her eyes.

“Tomorrow morning, we can pretend nothing ever happened if you want, and we’ll chalk tonight up to two friends experimenting.” He smiled. “I know you’ve done crazier shit than this in college.”

Despite herself, she laughed. “I don’t know, Brett.” The indecision was apparent in her voice, and she knew he noticed.

“I’ve tried to ignore these thoughts, hoping they’d go away. They haven’t and they won’t. At least, not until I know...”

“Know what?” When he didn’t answer, she asked again. “Until you know what?”

“Look, if I just wanted sex, I’m sure I could find it somewhere on this island, but I don’t. I want you , Amy.”

The look in his eyes told her that he was being truthful. But the question remained – did he simply want her for a night of consequence free sex or was there more behind his request – more that he wasn’t willing to share with her?

She chewed nervously on her bottom lip. Could she do it?

Could she spend a night with him, and then wake up tomorrow and act like it had never happened?

Did she want to? That was her biggest fear – that this one night wouldn’t be enough, that by giving in to these desires, she’d be giving her heart to him and that she’d never recover from it.

Brett placed his hand on her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. “Amy?”

Their friendship had withstood a lot. It could withstand this, too, couldn’t it? God how she wanted him. She knew she’d never get another opportunity like this. If she didn’t do this, she would never forgive herself. Taking a deep breath, she strengthened her resolve.

One night. That’s it.

She could handle one night.

Maybe.