Page 23

Chapter

Twenty-Three

B enedict knew right at this moment that he'd lost his senses. He stood outside in the back gardens of the St. George town house, looking up at a wall of windows, debating which one could be Angelica’s.

He did not know which room he stood beneath, but he hoped, having seen the candlelight flickering on one above stair, that it may possibly be Angelica’s. A gamble, and one he wasn’t sure he ought to take, but one he would in any case.

He had to see her. Ensure that she was well and not too poorly.

The night was still young, and after Angelica and her family had left the dinner abruptly, all he’d wanted was to leave also and check on her. He couldn’t shake the notion that Lord Hedding, whom she’d been sitting beside at dinner, spoke of something that had upset her.

The rooms upstairs were all dark, save for one that had the smallest glow, possibly from a bedside table candle.

He leaned down and picked up the smallest pebble he could find and threw it at the glass windowpane.

It clicked at contact, thankfully not too loud, but hopefully loud enough to bring whoever slept in that room to the window.

He stood on the terrace, trying to shield himself from view as much as he could with the large potted plants that sat in ornate pots on the flagstones. After what seemed like hours, a figure moved to the window and threw back the curtains.

He sighed in relief at the sight of Angelica. Luck was with him this evening, and he moved into the moonlight and waved.

She spied him almost instantly and opened the window, leaning out over the seal, her smile lighting up the night as if it were day. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, amusement tainting her voice. "If you're caught trying to gain my attention in this way, we'll both be ruined."

Benedict ought to feel concern, shame at his actions for skulking in a debutante’s garden late at night, but he could not. Not if it meant he got to see her again. "You left dinner so suddenly, and I was worried. I wanted to check to see if you were well."

"I'm perfectly well, thank you." She looked behind herself for a moment and then turned back to him. "Stay there. I shall be down soon." She quickly closed the window and curtains and was gone, leaving him alone.

He stepped back into the shadows and waited.

For several minutes he anticipated her arrival, hoped that no servant chose to check the yard before locking up the house and find him loitering out in the gardens.

There would be no explaining away his actions, other than the fact he was utterly besotted by a woman and could not help himself.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Angelica opened the rear drawing room door and slipped into the night to meet him.

His breath caught in his lungs at the sight of her in her nightgown and silk pelisse with a repeat leaf design all over it. Her feet bare as she stole across the flagstones to meet him. Her smile was wide and he could see a wickedness, and pleasure burned strong in her green depths.

"I feel terribly naughty meeting you out here. Whatever would society say should they know about us?"

"They would say you're a temptress who's besotted me body and soul and I could not rest this night without seeing you again." He pulled her into his arms and held her close, breathed in the sweet scent of rose that drifted from her tonight.

"Besotted, are you?" she teased, looking up at him. "Well then I suppose I should admit to feeling the same about you."

Without thought as to where they were or if anyone happened to be about, he dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers.

She leaned into the kiss, her mouth urgent on his and all sensible thought vanished.

He drank from her, took all that she would offer him, and he knew he could not live without this woman.

"Marry me," he whispered against her lips, kissing her gasp of surprise away before she pulled back to stare at him.

"Marry you?" she said, her eyes wide. "What about the church? Everything you've worked so hard for? I do not want you to regret me."

Her concern almost buckled him to his knees, both in relief and fear, for he would never regret her or anything that they did. He loathed the thought she would ever think that. Yes, he'd studied long hours to become a Catholic priest, but that did not mean his priorities could not change.

"While I never counted on meeting anyone like you, I cannot help but believe that fate took a hand in our paths crossing to show me what I truly long for above anything else.

I want to marry you. I cannot give my heart and my whole life to the church, nor would they wish me to, should I find myself conflicted with my choice.

And while I'm indeed conflicted, I'm thinking perfectly clear when it comes to who I want as my wife, the mother of my children.

" He pulled her closer, needing her against him.

"Marry me, Angelica. Say yes, and marry me," he begged.

She bit her lip and looked utterly adorable as tears filled her pretty eyes. She nodded and sniffed. "Yes, I shall marry you, Benedict. I adore you too," she said.

Relief poured through him, and he kissed her, unable to satisfy himself of his future wife.

"It shall take me some time to notify the church of my intentions and to make the necessary preparations to break from what is already put in place, but I assure you that I shall start first thing tomorrow in ensuring our future. I will move to join the Church of England if after reflection that is what I wish to do, but that is a discussion we can have at another time.” He paused.

“We shall be married before the end of the Season. I promise you that."

"I do not doubt you." She slipped her arms about his neck and stood on her tiptoes. "I do not want you to leave."

"Nor I." He held her, finally remembering why he had come to see her. "What happened at dinner? You left so suddenly, and I can see that you're not unwell."

Angelica guided him farther into the gardens and led him toward where a wooden arbor was erected beside a fountain. She pulled him under the structure and sat on the daybed, an abundance of cushions and blankets sitting around her.

Angelica patted the place beside her inviting him to join her. “Lord Hedding divulged some troubling news that I’ve never heard of before and I must admit, I was quite shocked from it.”

"What news?" He joined her, hoping that Lord Hedding had not said anything offensive or he should be forced to say something to the fellow. "What did his lordship say?"

She sighed and slumped back onto the daybed.

"It appears that my father, the late duke, had a mistress and fathered three daughters by her.

They live in London apparently, and both Evangeline and I were completely unaware.

Lord Hedding asked me of them tonight at dinner, which by the way I find most shocking, not only to bring up a subject that ought not to be discussed at dinner but with a lady who has nothing to do with the situation or aware of it. "

"You have siblings you did not know of here in London.

" Benedict stared at Angelica, quite shocked himself.

"I'm sorry you found out about them in such a way.

" He reached for her hand and, picking it up, kissed her palm.

"I hope you're not upset by what Hedding has disclosed.

He has a reputation for being crass and too bold with his words for his own good and that of others, unfortunately. "

She sat up and clasped his jaw, her eyes drinking in his features. "You are so lovely and kind to me, Benedict. How lucky I was to meet you."

He reached for her, knowing that it was he who had been fortunate. Had he not been shot that fateful day, had he not been cared for by her, he may have spent his entire life only surviving and not living.

"I'm the fortunate one, Angelica." He dipped his head and kissed her with a reverence he felt to his core.

"I shudder at the thought of my life had I met you after I took my orders.

I know now that I could not have remained within the institution, had I known you existed outside my realm and were unattainable, untouchable to me. "

Her gaze softened and she pushed him back onto the daybed, moving to straddle him. His body heated, hardened and he clasped her hips, forcing himself to breathe. To think straight and not lose control.

"I would not have left you alone. Not even the church could keep me away."

He grinned, knowing how true those words were. For both of them. "Amen to that."