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When the chaos ended, the attendant at the River of Alien Nightmares ride told the media that he never saw the dust bunnies coming. He pointed out that it was midnight and the Underworld Adventures theme park was thronged. He never had a chance to stop the pirates.

The dust bunnies materialized out of the shadows beneath the Great Wheel and a nearby row of food stalls and rushed the gate in what appeared to be a coordinated assault. “There was no way to secure the little suckers with the safety bar,” the attendant said. “All I can tell you is that the ringleader was wearing a blue hat with a lot of ribbons on it. I think it may have been a licensed emotional support dust bunny.”

Estimates of the actual number of pirates involved varied widely, but certain facts were not in dispute. The uninvited guests breached the gate at the dock and piled into one of the self-driving boats before the attendant realized what was happening. The vessel shot off on the artificial river and disappeared into the dark ride. Much excited chortling could be heard.

The boat was empty when it appeared at the exit of the ride. The screaming began as soon as the next vessels filled with paying customers entered the tunnel. In the end, the hero of the night proved to be the server at the pizza stand. She and her team leaped into action and raced to the rescue. They set several pizzas into an empty boat. The attendant sent the vessel into the dark ride. The strategy worked. When the boat emerged at the exit point, it was crammed with dust bunnies dining on pizza.

Upon arriving at the gate, the pirates grabbed slices of leftover pizza and vanished back into the shadows. After all, the night was young. More adventures awaited down in the Underworld. On Harmony, the real excitement came after dark.