Page 48 of Intrigue
Tears burn hot trails down my cheeks. “I loved you then, Selene. Christ, I love you now, more than ever. Every lie, every cruel word that night, it was all for you. I’d do it all again, even if it destroys me. I can’t give you all the details now, time isn’t on my side, but this, this is the real me, Selene. This is me fighting for you, coming for you, even if it’s too late. Even if you never hear this, even if you never believe me, I need you to know…” My voice drops to a whisper. “These last five years have been hell. But seeing you with him?” I shake my head. “That hurt more than all of it combined. But you deserve happiness. You deserve someone who can give you that. Someone safe. Someone like Cassian.”
I press my forehead against the cold wall. “I know I asked for a year, and you gave me a month that hasn’t even started, and God, how I wanted that time with you. But I can’t take it. So maybe this is a goodbye. These past few days of having you back, even for a little while, it was worth it. But I’m done now. I won’t keep messing up your life. I won’t stand in your way.
“I’m sorry for who I became for you. Sorry I couldn’t be the man you deserved. Sorry I broke your heart into pieces I can never mend. But I loved you from the first day we met. I love you now. And I did it for us. I love you, little Marconi. You were the best part of my world.”
I hang up.
Chapter 15
Selene
“Want me to change the music?” he asks as soon as we step inside.
I glance to the left where Cassian has set up a radio for slow, love songs, their syrupy croon slithering all the way here, where I’m perched, legs dangling, on the edge of the island.
“No,” I cough out, shaking my head even as the word spills free. “The music is good. Well, you’re in some mood. Was the food tonight that good?”
“Just happy to be with you, babe.”
He falls back to the kitchen sink, leaning the entirety of his weight there, before going on to study me. He’s dressed in a loose-fitting sweater and slacks, clean-shaven, his face soft, boyish. But the way he stares, those warm, hazel eyes sinking into me, it’s a slow, sticky trap, reeling me in, coiling tight. When his eyes droop low, snagging on the swell of my breasts straining the shirt, his eyes darken, molten and hungry, and I feel everything all at once, a filthy rush igniting my veins.
I feel the evening breeze scratch against my forearms and neck. I think he’d left a window open before we went out for dinner. Or maybe, just maybe, I’d been the one to crack it wide, secretly aching for Sandro to slink through like he did all those nights ago.
I was in this position that night.
I feel the island, cool against my flesh, pressing into my skin, branding me, and I suddenly feel the guilt creeping in.
Just last night I was in another man’s bed. Today I’m laughing with another. I don’t think I can do this anymore. Fuck,the contract or whatever Sandro said. I can’t keep doing this to an innocent man.
I suck in a breath when he leaves the kitchen sink and comes to stand in front of me. He’s close enough for me to feel the heat rolling off him.
“You’ve been tense. I know coming back here has done a number on you, and I want to help ease that. That’s what I want, tonight, to pleasure you.”
“I’m a hard woman to please.”
I mean it as a joke, but he doesn’t laugh. Instead, his hands come up to my neck and stay. I moan softly as warmth starts to trickle down and pool between my thighs.
He swipes a tongue over the flesh of my neck, and I shiver, body jerking against my will. “Cassian, I need to tell you something…” My voice cracks.
“Shhh…baby. It’s been so long. We haven’t done it since we got here. I miss you.”
“I know you do. But…” He uses a bit of teeth now, first to graze the softness of my neck, teasing, then to bite down, hard, sinking in. I buckle where I’m sitting, a choked moan ripping out, but his hands pin me down, slamming onto my hips, anchoring me to the cold edge.
“No talking….”
“Cass…”
“Tell me what makes you feel good. Tell me what you want, baby, I’ll fucking give it to you.”
His tongue slithers from my neck to the back of my ear, that spot that unravels me, and he nips—with teeth and tongue and suction, relentlessly obscene.
“Oh, do that again…” He does it again, and I feel a rush of goosebumps swarm up my arms, my skin prickling, alive. “Cass…”
He pulls my shirt up over my head, roughly, and tosses it down on the floor like it offends him. Cassian looks at my naked tits like he’s seeing them for the first time, raw hunger twisting his face. I see him swallow, throat bobbing, just as he begins to grow in his pants, the outline thick, straining.
“I’ve been staring at your breasts in this skimpy shirt all night. You know it kills me when you skip the bra. And when you hopped up there the second we got back—Jesus, the way your tits bounced? You don’t even realize how sexy you are, do you?”
Ok. This is new. Cassian’s never been shy in bed, but now, his words hit harder, dirtier, sinking into me like a slow burn. This is what I always wanted from him. It’s almost like he tapped into a version of him I’ve been asking for. Or could it be because it’s been awhile? He’s good at this tonight, too good, and it’s unraveling me, though a bit of Sandro’s rougher edge still lingers, uninvited, but I push it to the back of my mind.