Page 55 of Into the Storm

He snapped the light back on and reached for his pack, then pulled out the requested items. He handed her a sleeve of crackers, then plucked his knife from its sheath and cut into the brick of cheese, splitting the plastic and slicing a one-inch chunk in one stroke. He handed her the slice before cutting a piece for himself.

She ate several saltines in a hurry before taking a bite of cheese, eating as if cheddar were an antidote to a poison she’d just ingested. Catching his gaze, she wiped cracker crumbs from her lips, then covered her mouth with a hand and spoke as she chewed. “I hope you aren’t the kind of guy to kick a girl out of bed for eating crackers.”

He gave a half-hearted laugh. “If I ever was that guy, then it’s not who I am now.”

“So I can have cookies too?”

“You can have all the crumbly things you want as long as you’re in my bed.” The words were out of his mouth before he thought about what he was saying.

“You sure about that, Frogman?”

He deserved the bitter tinge to her tone. He cut off another slice of cheese and offered it to her. “Yes.” Might as well go full honest. “I will always want you in my bed.”

She ignored his response and ate the cheese along with more crackers, then reached into the food supplies and grabbed a salami log. She peeled back the plastic wrapping and bit into it instead of waiting for him to slice it. When she was done, she let out a soft sigh as if eating had been a relief. She offered him the salami. “Want some?”

He took it from her and took a bite from the end as she had. He’d needed a protein hit too.

She took a long drink from her water bottle, then said, “Did you ever…consider…what it would do to me? The pain your actions would trigger?”

He cleared his suddenly dry throat and wished he’d taken a sip of water when he had the chance. “Yes. Every step of the way.”

“But you did it anyway.”

Nothing but honesty. “I did it anyway.”

She shifted, putting space between them. He wanted to put his arms around her, hold her close and keep her warm, but he had no right.

“I can’t tell you why I did it. I wish I could. I don’t know if you’d understand, but at least it might make sense. What I did was unforgivable, and for that reason, I’ll never ask for your forgiveness, but I hope someday you’ll understand that it was never about you. Never about us. Never about that night.”

“But you made it about that night.”

“I had to. But I want you to know the night we shared was nothing short of incredible. You are incredible. If my job hadn’t been paramount, I never would have tainted the memory of our night by lying.”

“So you admit you lied?”

“Yes. I said as much before, and when we get out of here, I will tell your boss, ACHP, and everyone who matters to you that I lied. I will own what I did, even though I can’t say why.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe that you’ll do that. You. The one with the history of lying.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you believe me, but it’s what I’m going to do.”

“And if you did, what will that mean for you?”

“Not sure. I’ll be out of the military. On the extreme end, potentially a dishonorable discharge. Although higher-ups supported the tactic and probably guessed I was lying, so I don’t think it would go that far—unless you pushed for it.”

She raised a brow. “That’s some power you’re putting in my hands. Dishonorable discharge would destroy your whole world.”

“I deserve to be dishonored. I acted dishonorably. I’m horrified by what I did to you. And it shouldn’t have taken this extreme situation for me to get to this point, to see the wrong of it. Even worse, I did it for this”—he waved to indicate the thin sheet of fabric that protected them from a relentless rainstorm—“complete nightmare of a training that has endangered you, my training team, and a platoon of SEALs.”

“I don’t know about the rest of it, but I don’t think you can take the blame for what’s happening here. There was no way to predict any of this. For all we know, Jeb was in cahoots with the Russians.”

He started at her words. “Wait, I know why I suspect they’re Russian, but what makes you think so?” He suddenly realized they hadn’t debriefed about what happened when she was alone in the cabin so many hours ago. All he knew was there were two men, one blocking each door.

She cleared her throat. “The men who came after me in the cabin spoke Russian. At least, I’m pretty sure it was Russian.”

“Any chance you caught some words? Even if you don’t know what they mean, do you remember what they said?” He spoke some Russian. Maybe she heard something that would crack this wide open.

She shook her head. “I have no idea what they said when they were speaking Russian, but I did understand what they said in English.”