Page 21

The prisoner gurgles and splutters in pain as volts of electricity shoot through him. White foam froths down his chin. It’s disgusting.

I glance at Aly, expecting her to have her eyes squeezed shut—but she’s watching.

I hate doing this to her. I hate that I am forcing her to look at this—but what other choice do I have. She has to see the truth. She can’t keep living in this fantasy world she’s created in her head where I am not who she thinks I am.

I kidnapped her. I used her. I stole her from her life as though she was nothing but a means to an end.

Now she thinks she has feelings for me.

But they aren’t real.

It’s her mind trying to cling onto anything that feels safe. But I’m not safe. She has to see it.

I can’t let her be trapped with me, just like my sister is with Avraam.

I have to push her away from me. Force her to run. Force her to hate me. And this is the best way I know how. I have to be the masochist. I’ve got to be the real monster.

I stand tensely behind her, watching her body shake with shock. Her pale blue summer dress, clean white sneakers and soft silky hair pinned up in a high bun—she looks so out of place in this torture chamber. Too pretty. Too perfect. To innocent.

I can see the fear and horror and nausea running through her.

I hate this.

But it is a necessary evil. A sacrifice I must endure.

An evil that will set her free from whatever attachment she thinks she has to me.

Alyona turns to face me and my heart breaks at the sight of her. The pain in her eyes is real. The fear in her body—the tension and shock. It’s real.

But then, to my complete and utter disbelief she says, “Nice try.”

“What?” I blurt out in confusion. “What the fuck does that mean?”

She glances over her shoulder to look at the prisoner again. For a long time she’s silent, thinking, and I have no fucking idea what is going on in her mind.

She sighs heavily and turns to stare at me again and in her eyes I see intense defiance.

When she doesn’t say anything I push the matter myself.

“Do you see it?” I snarl at her darkly.

“Do I see what a monster you are? How evil you are?” She is mocking me.

I don’t get it. Why isn’t she terrified of me, of what I’m capable of? My heart begins to beat faster. I’ve never been so taken aback by someone’s response before. I read people very well—but this—this is totally unexpected.

“I don’t see it, Rigor,” she says, her tone soft, unassuming, gentle even. Then she steps around me and walks away.

I don’t turn to watch her walking up the stairs and out of the prison.

I don’t move at all.

I can’t. My muscles are frozen in shock. I didn’t expect that reaction from her at all.

I thought she would crumble, cry or collapse and beg me to get her out of here. I thought she would hate me, scream at me, tell me I’m disgusting. But she didn’t.

This doesn’t make sense.

After a long moment, I walk over to the man holding the metal electro-probe and a long-bladed skinning knife. He looks up at me and raises his brows. “Rigor,” he sighs.

“Malachi, have you gotten anything from him yet?” I ask, sullen. Lost in thought about Aly.

“Nothing yet. What was that all about?” he asks, gesturing towards the door where Aly left, dumping the probe on a nearby table and picking up a grey stone, running the edge of the blade over it.

“Just something she had to see,” I answer without adding any clarifying detail.

Malachi doesn’t push. He isn’t the type to pry into other people’s business. He just does what is asked of him. The quiet, but deadly type of man you never want to cross.

“This guy hasn’t said much. One or two things we can look into, but not much. The guy in cell three—he’s skittish and scared. I think we’ll get what we need out of him. I just had to make sure I put on a good show for him, work him up a little before it was his turn.” Malachi knots his brows towards cell three.

I nod. “Good. Do whatever you have to do. Keep me informed.”

“Yes, sir,” he answers, tossing the stone back onto the table and wiping the blade on his leather apron. He steps back towards the prisoner who starts screaming again.

I turn away from the carnage and walk up the stairs to where I know Aly is waiting for me.

I have no idea what to expect when I get there but already I’m so confused and taken aback by her reaction that I’m ready for anything. Or nothing. I don’t know.

Aly is leaning against the side of the car with her eyes closed and her face pointed up towards the sky. She looks calm. But I know it can’t be real. She must be horrified over what she just saw down there. Normal people never see things like that. It breaks them when they do.

No one witnesses something like that and walks away unscarred. I remember the first time Rodion brought me to the prison. It was before we came to America. A different city, a different time, but the same life.

He made me watch, made me take it in and understand what was expected of me in this business—in this family. I was young, barely a man. Things have changed a lot since then.

This feels— normal to me now.

That’s what makes me the monster. The fact that I don’t blink an eye at it anymore.

Because while it feels normal, I know it isn’t.

But it is necessary.

Aly hears my footsteps crunching along the gravel parking lot as I walk towards her. She opens her eyes, glances at me, and then turns towards the car door to wait for me to unlock it.

I press the button and she pulls the door open, climbing inside.

My heart is racing, waiting for her reaction.

I don’t say a word. I’ve said everything I need her to hear through what I’ve shown her. Words don’t cover what I needed her to know. And now she knows. It’s her turn to react and realize—and then walk away from me.

Starting the car my heart is heavy with pain. I want her.

I want to be with her but it’s not right.

She deserves so much more than this life. Than me.

My jaw is tightly clenched as we pull away from the secret warehouse. The prison.

The torture.

Aly has her arms folded across her chest when she turns to glare at me.

“And?” she huffs.

“What?” I say, confused again. “And what ?”

“Are you going to tell me what that was really about or are you going to keep trying to pretend you are this evil monster who tortures people for fun?”

“Aly—”

“Don’t. Don’t try to talk your way out of it. I just want the truth, Rigor. There was a purpose behind that pain. You were trying to achieve something. It’s not like you were just hanging that guy up there for fun. What was your goal?”

“My goal,” I sigh, annoyed that she sees straight through me again and my entire plan is not working.

“Stop repeating what I’m saying and start answering me,” she says with force. Her eyes are darker than usual, full of strength and determination. She is fierce and strong. Every time I doubt her, she proves all over again just how strong she is.

I swallow and turn my gaze forward to the road.

Aly doesn’t let it go though.

“What are you trying to get from that guy?” she asks again.

I shake my head. “Information,” I admit.

“Information for what ?” she asks, losing her patience.

“He and his crew run a child trafficking ring and we need to find out the location of their headquarters so we can take them down. Kill them all. Wipe that scum off the earth and hopefully save some of the kids.”

Aly huffs in triumph. “I knew it,” she gloats. “You might be bad , Rigor, but you aren’t evil. You aren’t a monster. You aren’t going to chase me away by showing me you true colors. ”

The adrenalin that spikes in me is caused by shock. Anger mixes with frustration as I snap my head towards her. “Are you fucking blind? I had that guy tortured . I had him cut, skinned, electrocuted—did you not see what I did?” I shout.

She shifts her entire body to face me and her short summer dress shifts up over her thighs. My eyes wander across her legs, the hint of her lace panties now visible even though she’s not aware of it.

My cock stirs, anger and passion bleeding into each other.

“Do I look stupid? I see straight through your pathetic plan to push me away. You think showing me that will make me hate you—why? Why would you want that? Because you’re too damn scared to admit what you feel!” she screams inside the car and I clench my jaw and squeeze my eyes shut for a moment.

My fingers tighten over the steering wheel.

She reaches over and punches my arm. The thin strap of her dress slips off her shoulder. She’s too angry to notice. Too angry to see how fucking sexy and fierce she is.

“Stop ignoring me. Stop trying to run from this!” she shouts again.

I can’t help myself. Skidding the car off the main road and into the dirt sidetrack, I reach across and grab her, lifting her onto my lap, rolling my car seat backwards to give us more room.

She kneels over me, gasping in surprise. Her little blue dress spread over my lap.

I grab her jaw and pull her mouth onto mine, kissing her fiercely.

My cock is so hard it’s painful as it pushes against my pants.

Fumbling, she tugs open my belt, pulling my pants open and freeing my cock.

I reach between her legs and pull her panties aside and shove my cock inside her.

We both moan loudly as I thrust into her. The relief of being inside her is so intense that I shudder.

Cars rush past us on the highway but neither of us seems to notice or care.

Her fingers scrape into my shoulder as I grab her hips and start lifting her and slamming her back down onto me, impaling her over and over again. Her head hits the roof and I wrap my hand over the back of her head, pulling it against my shoulder, holding her steady while I fuck her harder and harder. She moans and gasps and squeals each time I plunge into her.

When she comes, it’s so intense it pushes me right over the edge and I explode into her at the same time.

We are gasping for air, sweat dripping down my brow and perspiration glowing between her breasts.

I gently pull the strap of her beautiful summer dress back onto her shoulder.

Neither of us speaks as she climbs off me and back into her seat.

I pull my pants closed, and she adjusts her dress. Her cheeks are glowing, her lips are swollen with lust.

I start the car again and turn back out onto the highway, heading home.

The entire drive back I’m fighting the urge to reach out and rest my hand on her leg. I’m furious with myself. Angry that I gave in again. Angry that I let my emotions towards her take control again.

I’m supposed to be pushing her away but every time she’s close to me I can’t think straight.

At the mansion I follow Aly inside.

She pauses in the entrance way and glances at me.

“I’m going to hop in the shower quick—if you want to join me?” she asks, warmth and tenderness in her voice. My cock stirs at the thought of standing naked beneath the running water with her. But I shake my head. “Go ahead.” I smile tightly.

I wait for her to disappear up the stairs and when she is out of sight, I turn back to the front door, walk out of it and back towards the car.

I climb in, start the engine and leave.

My mind is a mess and I need air. I need to think and figure out what the fuck I’m doing. Because I feel like a monster now. I’m the exact thing I don’t want to be—I’m Avraam. Forcing an innocent girl to stay with me because she thinks she loves me when it’s honestly just Stockholm syndrome.

And I’m the one falling in love with her. Genuinely , falling in love. I could easily keep her, let her know how I feel, but it would never be real from her side.

How can I live with myself knowing she doesn’t really love me for who I am but rather only because she’s become confused in this crazy, life-changing situation I threw her into?

I can’t do it.

Pushing my foot against the accelerator I speed down an open road, away from the city, away from the noise, the chaos, the confusion. Away from Alyona and her beautiful eyes and the way she sets my entire soul on fire.

It doesn’t matter how I feel though.

I have to let her go.

I have to—don’t I?