Page 17

The ride back home was suffocating; that was the only word I could use to describe the odd silence and the tension hanging in the small space of Andrei’s Mercedes like a storm about to break.

Andrei’s grip on the steering wheel was tight, his knuckles stark white against his tan skin. His jaw was locked, muscles twitching with suppressed anger.

I kept my gaze fixed on the window, watching the darkened landscape blur past with my hands curled into fists on my lap.

Tonight still felt like some sort of dream.

Today, as a whole, felt like a nightmare I so badly wanted to wake up from. I’d gone from happily making breakfast for Andrei to hearing him talk about me as if I was some sort of tool; then, I was kidnapped and almost killed by some fat Romanian with a receding hairline.

It seemed the god of luck wasn’t on my side today.

Still, I was lucky he came to save me despite the anger he would’ve felt when he realized I was missing. I was pretty certain I’d be dead by now if he didn’t.

I sighed and leaned back in my seat, tugging against the seatbelt.

Now that the relief of being saved by him had subsided, the anger from this morning returned with full force. Come to think of it, none of this would have happened if he hadn’t said what he did.

As much as I’d like nothing more than to go home, take a hot bath, eat dinner, and go to bed, I needed to make sure we were on the same page. I’d clearly overestimated whatever spark there was between us, and now I was the only one who was heartbroken by it all.

Andrei briefly looked away from the road to glance at me. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not.” I crossed my arms over my chest and refused to look at him. He was smart, so I expected he had already figured out why I left in the first place.

“Are you mad at me?”

I rolled my eyes and pursed my lips. “Is there a reason I should be?”

“Tell me. You’re the one who is clearly upset about something.”

I looked at him beneath hooded lids, my anger barely contained. “Are you joking right now?”

“No, I’m not. You ran away from home and put yourself in danger. I want to know what you were thinking when you did that.”

I hissed. “I was thinking I didn’t want to be your pawn anymore, Andrei. That is what I was thinking. I heard you talking to someone this morning. I heard everything you said about me and what I meant to you.”

“And you thought getting yourself in danger was the best thing to do?”

I narrowed my eyes on him, anger burning through me. “Forgive me. Maybe I should have walked in and given you a hug for using me as a means to an end.”

His fingers turned ashen. There was a flicker of regret on his face.

“How long were you outside my door?” he asked quietly. “How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know I meant nothing to you. I liked you, I trusted you, and you made a fool out of me, Andrei.”

“I didn’t make a fool out of you.”

“Then explain it,” I said sharply. “Explain the things you said, and don’t even think of lying to me because I can see through that bullshit. I need you to be honest.”

He sighed heavily. “It’s more complicated than you think, solnishko .”

I shook my head, laughing bitterly. “You were very clear with what you said. You know what is complicated? Taking my virginity, making me feel things for you, and manipulating me just so you can use me to find some stupid shipment.”

I’d expected more from him, and because of that, I’d been hurt more. Men like Andrei weren’t capable of love. I should’ve known that, but I thought it was different. I thought we would be different.

And I’d been fucking wrong.

It hurt even more that he didn’t care to explain. He didn’t deny it either because he knew it was true.

A part of me still wanted to believe that he cared for me beyond needing me to find the shipment, but I knew he didn’t, and I didn’t want to put myself through that pain again.

He remained silent.

For a moment, the only sound in the car was the hum of the tires against the pavement and my own unsteady breathing.

“I’m sorry you heard that,” he finally said after a moment of silence. His voice was quieter but no less intense.

My chest tightened, and a dull ache spread across my ribs.

Sorry? That was all he could say?

He wasn’t sorry for what he said or for manipulating me that way; all he was sorry about was that I’d heard him.

“You’re such a jerk, Andrei. I shouldn’t have trusted you.” My voice cracked, but I managed to push through. “To me, you’re no different from Gavril. You’re both heartless bastards who’d do anything to get what they want, whether it’s killing someone or using and manipulating that person.”

The car swerved slightly as he turned abruptly onto a secluded road and slammed the brakes.

I gasped as he turned to face me fully, his blue eyes burning with something raw. “You think I’m like that son of a bitch?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion. “You think I only wanted you because I need to find the shipment?”

I pursed my lips. “Do you not want to find the shipment?”

He exhaled loudly. “I do, but that isn’t the only reason I wanted you, Giselle. I doubt a day will ever come where I won’t want you.”

I let out a dry, humorless laugh. “Liar. You’ll toss me to the side when you get your hands on the shipment.”

He leaned in dangerously close. “I’ll want you, even after I get my hands on that shipment. Nothing will change between us, Giselle. I mean that.”

My pulse quickened, my chest fluttering as I heard him say he wanted me and would still want me regardless of the shipment.

Was there a chance he felt the same way about me? He’d come all the way here to save me and killed the man who hurt me. Maybe it wasn’t all a lie, and he felt the same way about me, but that was only a possibility, a chance I didn’t want to take a second time.

I wanted to believe him, but I knew deep down that everything he said could be nothing but a lie to keep me wrapped around his finger until he got what he needed from me. I’d be a fool to trust him again.

I looked away, shifting my gaze to the streetlamp outside my car window. “Bold of you to think I would fall for that.”

“You think I would lie to you?”

I whipped my head around to glare at him. “It wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”

He heaved a sigh as if bubbling with frustration. “I’ve never lied to you, and you know it.”

“Do I?” I shrugged and shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

Our gazes remained locked on each other for a moment. Neither of us was ready to back down, but we’d only get more upset with each other than we already were if we chose to continue the argument.

Finally, Andrei retreated. “Fine, I won’t force you to believe me.”

“Thank you. That sounds a lot better,” I replied with a roll of my eyes. It was better for me to keep my guard up than to believe him and get hurt again.

“I heard from one of the maids that you asked her to get you a pregnancy test,” he said calmly. There was no anger in his voice, and it wasn’t demanding either.

My period had been delayed for two days, and there were signs of pregnancy—my boobs hurt, I had crazy mood swings, and I was eating like a starved horse. Those sometimes happened to me for some months; the difference was that I hadn’t had unprotected sex so close to my ovulation period those times.

I wanted to make sure that wasn’t the case.

Things were still complicated between me and Andrei. I had a target on my back and a shipment to find, it wouldn’t be ideal to get pregnant with all the chaos around me.

“I did.

He stared at me intently. “Are you pregnant?”

“Thankfully, I’m not. It was just a pregnancy scare.” I paused and narrowed my eyes on him. “Were you afraid a pawn in your game was carrying your child?”

His brows knitted, and the muscles on his arm flexed. “You’re not a pawn to me, Giselle. And yes, I was afraid, but not because I thought you were pregnant with my child. I was afraid both you and the baby were in danger.”

I tucked a lock of matted hair behind my ear. I couldn’t even stay mad at him when he said things like that to me. “The test came out negative. I’m not pregnant. Happy?”

“Listen, solnishko , because I am not going to say this again,” he said, his tone serious and his eyes heavy with an emotion I’d never seen before. “At the start, yes, you were just a means to an end to me, but not anymore.”

I held my breath, my shoulders tensing. “Are you saying I mean more to you now?”

“Yes, you do. And I like the idea of starting a family with you.”

I huffed. “Getting me pregnant is not exactly the way to start a family with me.”

“No, it’s not. You’re mine, Giselle. I’ll marry you.”

Staring at his face, I looked for hints to show he was joking, but there were none. He looked dead serious as he said those words to me.

I didn’t want to believe him, but I knew he wasn’t bluffing. Andrei Yezhov would never joke about a thing like that or say things he didn’t mean.

I wasn’t his, though. I wasn’t a piece of property he could claim or put a ring on and chain to his side forever, but I knew better than to argue or turn down his proposal.

A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of being shackled to this man—his brutality and the mafia. Yet I couldn’t go away.

Not after I’d watched him brutally kill the man who hurt me.