Page 8

CHAPTER

EIGHT

PHOENIX

The spot I wanted to take Sam wasn’t far from the hospital. This time of day—between the lunch and dinner rushes—it was usually quiet, too. Which I was sure Sam would appreciate. It wasn’t anything fancy, but the beef was grass-fed and the fries were fried in tallow. So, it was way above any fast food, which I knew Sam was against.

She texted her mom on the way to the restaurant, and I didn’t mind the silence.

“Sorry,” she said after a few minutes. “I need to check one more thing.”

“No worries.”

She went back to her phone, and I kept driving.

Driving while being able to see the spiritual realm was an adventure. I knew that Sam had a way to separate the two, but I couldn’t. Or at least for now, I had no idea how to do something like that. I’d seen the spiritual realm multiple times now, and so far, it wasn’t something I’d been able to get used to. Demons hid in every shadow. There were things that looked like strings all over the place so that it looked like I was driving through spaghetti, but I knew I wasn’t. So, I just kept following the road and ignoring what I hoped wasn’t on this realm.

“Okay. Sorry. My mom wanted advice on a couple of the consult forms we got, and now, that’s done.”

“Do you get a lot of those?”

“So many.” She shook her head like she didn’t quite believe it. “It seems like every day I get more than the day before. That’s why my mom quit nursing. I needed help, and she wanted to be with me. So, win-win. But I’m honestly thinking we should hire another person. Or a few more people. As it is, she’s working pretty much around the clock. There’s only so much we can do, but we don’t like turning people away.”

“Wow.” That was impressive. “And you built that from just social media?”

“Yep, but it’s not fair to say that it’s all me. Yes, it’s my social media that takes in the inquiries, but I’ve been building a network of priests, pastors, and believers with deliverance ministries. So, a lot of the work my mom does is passing along inquiries to the right people.” She pulled on her necklace as she spoke, tugging her cross back and forth along the chain. “And the social media stuff really took off because of the pack. I got a lot of recognition with Tessa and Dastien and my work with the Sanctuary. I never did any news interviews or anything like that. I just?—”

“Wait. Have people asked?”

She shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “Sure. But that’s not what this is about. That’s not why I do what I do. Having a big following is great because I help more people, but I don’t want to be famous or anything. I don’t post about myself at all, and I didn’t set out to be known. Honestly, I don’t get recognized or anything. I’m not like you.”

I huffed. “Hey. Is that an insult?” I asked to tease her.

“No. I…that’s not…” She froze for a second, and I knew she didn’t get my joke.

“Kidding.” I shot her a quick smile before focusing back on the road. “I’m kidding. I didn’t start playing soccer to get famous, but the interviews were part of the gig. Why won’t you do any interviews? It might help you reach more people.”

“I don’t know.” She continued to play with her necklace as she thought quietly for a moment. “I just don’t like being exposed like that. This isn’t about me. It’s about reaching everyone else. Spreading awareness about the spiritual realm.”

“From what I can tell, you’re doing a phenomenal job.”

“Thanks.” She dropped her necklace and shifted anxiously in her seat.

Interesting. She wasn’t good with compliments, which meant I was going to have to give her more until she started to realize how amazing she truly was.

I pulled into the tiny parking lot beside the burger joint. Sam peeked up at the sign. It was a big neon planet with a guy’s name under it. The small red and white building was charming. It looked like it hadn’t been touched since it was built in the fifties, and I knew from all the times I’d been here before that the inside was the same.

I really hoped this place was okay with Sam. I’d made a decision without really asking, but the milkshakes were so good here and I’d promised her a milkshake. Not all sweets were breaking my training diet, but theirs were.

“I’ve never been here before.” She smiled over at me. “I honestly don’t come into town unless I have a meeting or it’s my weekly lunch with Frank.”

“You two are pretty tight.” I was stating the obvious, but I hoped she’d fill in a little more. I wanted to know everything about her, but also, didn’t want to pressure her into sharing more than she was ready.

“I know it’s weird to be friends with a middle-aged priest, but he’s not exactly the cliched priest-type. He’s…Frank.” Her stomach growled, and she rolled her eyes. “Sorry. I’m not as tired, but apparently, still hungry.”

“Let’s get you some food.” I got out of the car and motioned her to follow me.

When we got inside, there were a few people at the counter, and another couple in a booth across the room, but other than that, it was empty. We’d missed the lunch rush, which was good. I might not know everything about Sam yet, but I knew she didn’t like crowds.

The waitress led us to a table next to the other couple, but I wanted more privacy. I had a feeling Sam would close up if she thought the couple was listening in. “Can we get one in the back over there? That booth?” It was far away from everyone else, which would give us a lot more privacy.

“Sure thing.” The hostess changed direction.

“Thank you.”

As soon as we were seated, Sam looked at the menu. “Holy moly. There are so many options.”

I laughed. “Excuse me. Did you just say holy moly? ”

Pink flushed Sam’s cheeks. “Sorry. I have this thing about cussing. I’m not always great about not doing it, but I try— try being the operative word—not curse as much as possible.” The pink darkened even more. “Sometimes I get a little creative with them. So, yeah. That’s kind of embarrassing.”

She didn’t need to be embarrassed. The more I learned about her, the more I liked her.

Sam cleared her throat. “So, what’s good here?”

“Everything.” It was all good. I’d tried a bunch of the things, but now I’d found my perfect order. Double Cheeseburger with bacon, jalapenos, grilled onions and peppers, fries, and a mocha shake.

I watched her chew on her bottom lip as she scanned the offerings. This was nice. Time with just us—no demons or parents or werewolves or anything else.

“Okay. I think I know what I want,” Sam said.

I looked over for the waitress, and she was coming back with waters.

Even though Sam said she knew what she wanted, she asked the waitress what her favorite milkshakes were. It was nice watching her go back and forth, laughing with the waitress. She finally settled on a shake the waitress recommended.

As soon as she was gone, Sam straightened her back. “So, do you have any questions about what just happened?”

I leaned forward. “I have other questions.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Is your life normally this busy? This dangerous?”

She thought for a second, tugging on the necklace again. “I want to say no. But I don’t know if that’s true. Usually, it comes in waves. And yes, there’s always some danger with what I do. Things like what happened with your sister—that’s only every few years or so. But last night was next level. He’s never created a trap like that for me. That sucked.” She gave a little shrug. “But that doesn’t mean I give up. This isn’t a job I can quit. It’s who I am. So, even when there are bad days or rough times, I know that this is what I’m meant to do. It makes all the bad things somehow…not so bad.”

She had to be incredibly brave to do what she did. I would’ve been done after a night like last night, but here we were. Having a meal after she just did yet another exorcism. “I know you get scared. I’ve seen it. So, why do you keep going?”

“I’d have to be a robot not to be scared.” She gave me a small smile and shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean I let the bad guys win. Just because something is hard or scary doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. It’s just a sign to be careful. So, I’m careful. Even when it might seem reckless.”

Reckless was a good word for it. “Saving Van seemed a little reckless.”

“Maybe.” The waitress came back with our milkshakes, and Samantha looked her in the eye and said a very clear thank you that sounded like she truly meant it.

I really liked that about her. I’d noticed that she treated all her friends well, but you learned a lot about a person by how they treated waitstaff. She’d been really nice when the waitress took our order, and now, again, she was kind.

That was something that bugged me about my ex, Melissa. She’d always been so rude to people she thought were beneath her. Looking back, it had to have been one of the subconscious reasons I was holding back with her.

Samantha took a sip of her churro shake. “Oh my gosh. This is the best thing ever .” She turned to look over her shoulder. “This is so good!”

“Right?!” The waitress laughed. “I told you I wouldn’t lead you astray!”

“Like seriously good!”

“Awesome. You enjoy it.”

“I’m gonna.” She turned back to me, and then her smile dimmed a bit. “Sorry. Was I?—”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you like it.”

“How’s yours?”

I took a sip of my mocha shake. “Amazing.” I slid it across to her. “Try it.”

She took a sip. Then another bigger one. “This is my new favorite place. I’m not sure which I like better.”

“I told you—you really can’t go wrong here. We can trade if you want.”

“That’s sweet, but I’m happy with mine. Thanks.” She slid my shake back across the table. “I have a question for you.”

“Go for it.” I played with the straw, waiting for whatever she was going to ask. I was pretty open and definitely not shy. So, whatever she wanted to know, I’d tell her.

“I was hoping you’d say something, but I’m just not a person who beats around the bush. I’m pretty direct. Probably to a fault, seeing as how it’s gotten me into major trouble. So, fair warning here.” She sighed. “But I have to ask, what’s this?”

She pointed to something, but I wasn’t sure what it was. There were so many things I could see right now. I’d been trying not to pay attention to the spiritual realm while we talked, but now that she’d pointed it out, that was all I could see—the man in the corner. The demon on the ceiling. The one hanging off the cook in the back.

I blinked a few times, trying to focus. “What’s what exactly?”

She hooked her finger and pulled it toward her, and I gasped and slammed into the table.

I looked up at Sam. “What did you just do?” For a second, it felt like my soul was leaving my body, then snapped back in place. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

She shrugged, looking like nothing huge had just happened, and took a sip of her milkshake. “Dunno for sure, but it looks like your soul’s tie to your body is wrapped around mine.”

My eyes widened. “Oh, shit. That .” She must’ve seen the bond when she was doing the exorcism. Because of course she saw it. How could I expect her not to?

She gave me a grin that was a little mischievous. “Yeah. That .” She pushed her milkshake away a little bit so that she could lean forward. “What the heck happened last night? Why is my soul suddenly tied to yours? Because it definitely wasn’t like that when I went to save Van.”

Right. “I thought I’d have more time.”

“Time?” Her brows rose. “For what ?”

My heart started to race. I had to get the words right. She had to understand what happened, and that I wanted this, and more than that, I wanted her to want this.

Sam tapped her hand on the table softly, bringing me out of my panicked thoughts. “Phoenix. Time for what exactly?”

“To figure out how to tell you. To explain in a way that wouldn’t piss you off.” I looked down at the table because staring at her felt scary right now. “Although, I guess I’m not sure what pisses you off. Yet.” I braced myself for whatever she might say next and looked her in the eyes. “I want that shot though. I want a chance to find out, and I want you to not be mad about this.”

“For the record, I try not to get mad. That’s not who I am.” She paused. “I just…I feel like whatever you did was done under duress. Clearly it was a bad night. So, I’m just not sure if I should be yelling at Eli right now.” She closed her eyes and shook her head, and I knew she wasn’t understanding what I meant. “I probably should be yelling at him, but first—” She looked at me, but now there was sadness in her eyes. “Let’s talk.”

“Thank you.”

A little crease formed between her brows. “For what?”

“For giving me a chance to explain.”

“I’ve gotten through life by taking things as they come. It’s not always easy to do, and I’ve had some pretty dark times, but I like to think they made me stronger. I probably would’ve noticed this tie sooner, but I was really wiped. The exorcism helped with that, so, now we deal with it.”

“Deal with it.” I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that.

“What happened to make this —” She gestured between us. “—happen?”

So, I told her about how we’d waited for her to wake up. How hours passed. Then more hours. About how her temp went up, her heart rate went up, and how Claudia tried a few spells to bring her back. But no matter what we did, she didn’t wake up. Not even after Van came back.

I told her about how things got worse once he was back.

I told her about the ice bath and the panic and that we’d come so close to losing her.

And I told her about the kiss. About what I’d done to bring her home, knowing exactly what it meant. Wanting exactly what it meant.

“Anchor?” She sat back in the booth, slowly taking in what I’d said. “Eli called you my anchor? Specifically?”

“Yes.”

The waitress chose that moment to bring the food. She noticed the change in mood. “You okay?” she asked Sam.

Sam gave her a shaky smile. “I will be. Yeah. Thank you so much for this.”

“You enjoy, honey.” She patted Sam on the shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything else.” She gave Sam a look and walked away.

Sam sat there staring at her food, and I wished I had Eli’s power for just a little bit so that I could know what she was thinking and say the right thing to fix this.

“The waitress thinks I’m breaking your heart.” I really hoped I wasn’t. That was the opposite of what I wanted. “She thinks I’m a jerk.” And I truly didn’t want Sam to think of me as a jerk. That would suck. “You better smile when we leave or else I won’t be able to come back here, and I’m pretty much a regular at this point.”

Sam let out a little laugh. “It is breaking in a way.” When she looked up at me, there was hurt in her eyes, and I hated that. Even worse—I hated that I was the cause of it. I wanted to redo the morning. Start over again. Try telling her a different way or…

I didn’t know that anything would’ve made it easier. “Sam, please .”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to fix this. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

All the air went out of my lungs. She’d done exactly what I didn’t want—she’d assumed the worst.

Wait. She thought she was something horrible that happened to me? “No.” I made my voice very clear, firm, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “I don’t want you to do a thing. Don’t undo this. Please .”

“Why?” She shoved her untouched food away from her. “From everything you said, it sounds like you were pressured?—”

“No. I wasn’t. There were other options available.” She had to understand that. “For a second, I thought being a normal human meant I couldn’t do it. And the idea of it—that I would forever be in the friend zone—made me sick. I wanted to throw up. It felt like I was losing everything I’d ever dreamed of.”

She let out a laugh that held no humor. “I’m not a dream, Nix. My life is kind of a nightmare.”

I shoved my food away. “Don’t say that. Ever . Because I dreamed about you for years . The smart, kind, funny girl who was so brave and confident and faced monsters like they were nothing. I know in some parts of the world I’m a big catch. I know that. But really, I’m just a guy who got paid a lot of money to play soccer. You’re so much more than that. What you do…it’s amazing.”

“It’s not…I’m not…” She blew out a hard breath. “How do you know you’re not feeling like you want to be with me because you tied your soul to mine? There’s a chance that the tie could cloud your judgment. It could make you drawn to me just because our souls are tied, but you might end up hating me for it.”

“That’s never going to happen. I can’t hate you, and I know this is real because I felt this way about you before I did it. Nothing has changed. Not for me. Except that now I have a good excuse to stick around and not come off as a total stalker weirdo.”

Sam grew quiet, and I gave her time to let that sink in. I wanted to be with her period. But I knew she’d been burned so badly, and she’d had a really rough night, which had to leave her feeling exposed.

This was why we needed to come share a meal together. Have a milkshake. Just talk. She needed time to build trust in a way that made sense, which I got.

But I didn’t need that time. It hadn’t taken me very long to realize that Sam was everything.

So, I waited and watched her as she thought. Sam hadn’t put on a ton of makeup, but she was the most naturally beautiful person. Her eyes were large and gray. Her nose small and straight. Her lips full and red. And all of it combined into something that drew me in, body and soul.

I’d never felt this drawn to someone. Not since that night on the stairs. Never had I ever felt so completely all-in for someone.

Over the years, I’d dated. I was what my sisters called a serial monogamist, but after a little while, I always ended up breaking it off. My longest relationship had been two years, but I’d known it wasn’t right early on, and yet, I didn’t break up with Melissa until right before I moved here. She’d seemed like everything I wanted—all the boxes were checked—but there was something missing, off, not fully clicking like it should have. On the outside, it seemed like we made sense together, so I stayed with her, but the relationship felt like work—hard, endless, slogging work to keep it functioning. In the end, I realized that kind of hard relationship wasn’t what I wanted for myself or my future.

I wanted more. I wanted an easier, natural relationship. I wanted someone who would push me to be better. Someone who I could take care of and support and truly be myself without any judgement.

I’d glimpsed all of that once, and I wasn’t going to stop searching until I found it again.

But deep down, the one that I’d been searching for was Sam.

I’d had a relationship that made all the sense in the world, and I couldn’t make it work.

Holding out so that one day I might run into Sam again and have a shot made no sense, but I always thought that if it was meant to be, she’d somehow show up in my life again.

And that was exactly what had happened.

Sam was always the more I’d been looking for.

So, no, I wasn’t upset about what happened last night, but I had no idea how to convince Samantha that everything was okay. That as long as she was okay with this, I was more than fine with it.

Unless she wasn’t fine with it? Was she looking for a way out for me? Or for herself?

Shit.

“Did anyone explain the implications to you?” She put her arms on the table and leaned forward. “Was more said that you didn’t tell me? Because from what you just said, you went into this a little blind.”

I could already tell she wasn’t going to like what I had to say about that. They had told me some things, but they hadn’t told me everything. I had no idea what I was doing with this anchor bond. Could I honestly say I knew all the implications?

No. I couldn’t.

When I didn’t say anything, she dropped her head, chin to her chest, and closed her eyes as she breathed. I wasn’t sure if I should say something or let her figure it out, but over the last few days, I’d noticed that she liked to pause to think things through. Then, she’d go into action, doing whatever needed to be done. Which made sense. Sometimes I needed a second to think, too. And right now, I could use a little time to figure out how to make her see what Eli wanted.

She finally looked at me, and pain wove through my heart at the sorrow in her eyes. “I’m so, so sorry,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to be stuck with me and my mess, and?—”

Wait. No. I was done being across the table from her. I slid out of the booth and went next to her. “Please don’t say that. I’m not stuck with you.”

Her eyes widened, and she turned to put her back to the wall, putting a little space between us. “I understand that you felt like you had to save me, and Eli must’ve talked you through how to make this bond, but?—”

“You can tell me a lot of things, but you can’t tell me how I felt about you the night I met you or how much I thought about you since that night or how even how I felt last night when we were losing you. And you definitely can’t tell me how I feel right now.” I hoped I could get through to her. “I want you. That night all those years ago changed me. Not just what happened in the apartment—because that blew my mind—but the talk on the stairs. And even if it was wrong, the flirting through your window. I noticed you before, and I have a feeling that this was always where we’d end up. Because otherwise, it makes no sense why we ran into each other again or why it feels vital that I stick close by you. And that’s not because of the tie. That was there before. I showed up on your porch yesterday morning and refused to leave. That had nothing to do with the tie.”

“I’m messing this up.” She took a breath and let it out, and as she did, her shoulders slouched. It was as if she was crumbling under the weight of her disappointment. “I just…” She closed her eyes. “I wanted this, too. I wanted to go on a date with you.”

Okay. Now, this was something I could work with. “Great. You got it. We’re on one right now.”

“ What ?” Her eyes flew open. “No.” Her eyes widened, and she let out a surprised laugh. “This is so not a date. I just did an exorcism.”

I couldn’t have stopped the smile from spreading across my face even if I tried. “So, you had to work before our date. No problem. I was happy to tag along.” I could work with this. “But we’ve got milkshakes. Burgers. Salty fries. We’re sharing a meal with no one else around. This is definitely a date.”

“Stop.” She let out a helpless whimper that was kind of cute. “Don’t you want a normal date? Like without all this stuff.” She motioned to the air around us, and I knew what she meant. She didn’t need to explain.

Without all the spiritual realm stuff.

“I don’t even know what normal is, and I don’t think I need it. If I’m being honest, normal sounds a little boring.” She laughed at that, and it felt like I was winning something big. “I want you. Full stop. I’m old enough to know what I want, and you are it. And I don’t mind repeating that you that until you believe me.”

She groaned. “Do you have to be so charming?” She crossed her arms and glared at me. “Stop it with that smile.”

I couldn’t help but cheese up the smile. “Better?”

She kicked my foot with hers. “No. Super not helpful.” She let out a little moan and thunked her head into the wall behind her.

I laughed because I couldn’t help it. Her little groans and helpless faces that she made me want to hold her and never let her go. “Look. I get it. You feel like I was roped into doing something I didn’t want.”

“ Exactly . It’s impossible to make a good choice when a life is on the line. Any decent person would make the same choice.”

“That might be right, but here’s the important part. I saw my shot to save you and have a life with you, and I took it. I didn’t hesitate at all. I jumped in that ice bath with you, and I would’ve destroyed anyone that tried to take that spot from me.” There was no softening that blow if she didn’t want this. “If you need time away from me or you don’t want me around…” Man, I hoped she didn’t want that. “I’ll give you some space if that’s what you need. You have to tell me if I’m coming on too strong, and we can see if we can ease into this. But you don’t get to say I didn’t want it or that the way I feel is because of the tie. That’s flat-out not true.” I wasn’t backing down on that.

She started playing with her necklace again, then added in the lip chewing, and I knew I had her. She was going to give me a shot. I just had to finish strong.

Good thing I was fantastic at finishing strong.

“And you don’t get to say you’re some kind of burden. Or any of the other terrible things going through your mind. None of those are true. I knew what I was getting into—that it was going to be forever—and I’ll say it over and over until it sinks in—I’m all-in on this. You and me. I don’t want an out. I’m here because I want to be. Because it’s where I feel like I’m supposed to be. We’ll figure this anchor bond part out as we go, and I’ll need help and patience with that. Because it’s new to me, and I’m human. I’ll mess it up at some point. But I’m not leaving you unless you want me to go.”

I forced myself to ask the hard question. “Be honest with me right now. Please. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings because I really need to know this.”

“What?” Her voice was so soft and quiet.

“Do you want me to go?” Please, God, let her say no. Walking away from her now would be impossibly hard. I didn’t think I’d ever get over her. I’d die sad and lonely and dreaming of what could have been.

She was quiet but shook her head. “No,” she said, finally. “I really don’t want you to go.”

Fuck yes.

This felt better than scoring a goal in the World Cup.

I wanted to get up and shout and celebrate, but I forced myself to sit still, take a breath, and not scare her away with any of the insanity going on in my head.

Instead, I smiled a stupid, goofy, happy smile. “This works out perfectly. Because I don’t want to go either.” I gave her hand a gentle tug, pulling her toward me, and then brushed my hand on her cheek. “This okay?”

She looked up at me, her gray eyes wide. “Is what okay?”

She was adorable. I leaned down and brushed my lips lightly against hers. “This.”

When she didn’t pull away, I took that as a yes.

So, I closed my eyes and truly kissed her, pouring all the feelings I had into it, just like I had last night.

After a second, I felt her let go and her fingers threaded through my hair, and yes . This was it. This was what I had been waiting for my whole life. Her .

I pulled back, resting my forehead against hers. “That would’ve happened yesterday before all the other stuff, but we were interrupted.”

She blinked at me. “Yeah. I remember, but?—”

“No. There is no other explanation. You ever had a better kiss than that? Because I haven’t.”

She let out a soft laugh. “I mean, no. But it’s not like I’ve gone around making out with a ton of guys.” She closed her eyes. “I need to think or breathe or maybe both.”

That was totally okay. I knew she wanted this. I could tell when we kissed, but she needed time to trust me. I would give her that time.

“Let’s eat. Our burgers are getting cold, and if your stomach growls one more time, I’m going to lose it.” I went back to my side of the booth.

Samantha stared at her burger for a second. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

She looked at me. “For saving my life. For being here. For talking me through this and being patient.”

“All of it was my pleasure.” I nudged her foot with mine. “Eat.”

Man, my abuela was so right. When you know, you know.

And I definitely knew.

Every second I spent with her cemented that fact in my mind and in my heart.

Samatha was my forever person, and I’d never been happier.