Page 7 of Inferno

“What?” Yorin asked, glanced over towards the closed door. “Oh, no, not at all. She’s landed herself an apprenticeship at the florist’s and she’s just spreading her wings a bit now that she’s got a few coins of her own to spend.”

That was Yorin all over; naïve, oblivious, and always taking a neutral middle ground on any given topic.

Nerik turned to go, knowing he wasn’t going to get much more out of Yorin in terms of conversation… and then he considered what he was going to spend the rest of the night doing, and a part of his mind wanted to grab onto any possible excuse to delay the journey he was going to have to make later tonight. He tried to summon an ounce or two of courage, and was disappointed when he couldn’t. One more day passing without achieving anything of any real importance. One more opportunity missed. How long was he going to keep doing this?

“Say, Yorin…” He stopped before he could get any further than that. He took two steps towards the door, hating himself for being such a coward. He turned back again, forcing himself to look Yorin in the eye. “I was just wondering…”

Yorin gazed back at him, patient and impassive as always. He’d never displayed the slightest interest in girls, and he’d never asked Nerik to stop flirting with him, and he looked so damn good standing there in his charcoal shirt and fitted trousers…

“Would you like to come to the pub with me for a drink this evening?” Nerik blurted out, feeling like his chest was about to burst. “As in, you know, like… on a date?”

◊ ◊ ◊

As the meaning of Nerik’s words settled into his brain, Yorin simply stood there, mouth hanging open, his body feeling suddenly numb from shock. Surely Nerik couldn’t have just said…

A drink at the pub would have made sense, would have been a perfectly reasonable request, though even then, Nerik had never asked him to do anything even remotely similar in the past.

But adate? An actualdate?

“What… I… Well, I… Um…” What on earth was he supposed to say? Well, either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would probably be a good start, but that assumed he actually knew the answer to the question.

It might have seemed like a simple request, but a thousand other thoughts and issues were suddenly fighting for space in Yorin’s head. He had a debt to repay to the bank. He had a reputation to uphold, so that he didn’t lose customers. Did Nerik mean a one-off date, or did he want something longer term? Yorin really wasn’t interested in a casual fling, but a longer term relationship could be a problem. In Minia, people were generally accepting of short term dalliances between two men. Yorin had heard plenty of stories of the warriors indulging in various carnal delights, with one man and several women, or one woman and several men. Or sometimes, just two or three men together.

But while the townsfolk might accept a variety of one-off encounters, long-term relationships between men were still somehow frowned upon. It was more the older generations who made the objections, but it was also the older folk who had more money to spend on clothing. Could he really afford to annoy half his clientele for the sake of chasing a potential boyfriend? Years of low-grade loneliness clashed with Yorin’s sense of self-preservation.

Added to that was the shock that Nerik had actually asked him. After three years of flirting, Yorin had largely resigned himself to the idea that Nerik was just being friendly. A thousand quiet nights of suppressing his longings had done their job, so that now that he was actually presented with the opportunity, he found the idea somewhat bizarre.

And finally, he had to add to that the fact that he’d never actually had a relationship before. And Nerik most certainly had. Nerik was outgoing, confident, flirtatious and charming. Surely there were plenty of both men and women who would have jumped at the chance to go on a date with him. Yorin couldn’t help feeling that his own lack of experience would cause him to embarrass himself, and would also leave Nerik disappointed.

“I… I don’t think I can,” Yorin heard himself say, even as a part of him shrivelled up in dismay. He’d longed to get closer to Nerik for years. Why on earth was he saying no?

He watched as Nerik’s body seemed to deflate a little. “Oh. Right. Okay. Sure.”

“Sorry, I just…”

“No, it’s okay,” Nerik said, as he quickly backed away and opened the door. “Just thought it was worth asking. Going out on a limb and all. But it’s fine. Uh, well… enjoy your evening, then.” He was gone a moment later, leaving Yorin feeling bereft. But he had responsibilities. He had bills to pay. He had a life that was horribly boring, from one perspective, and far too complicated from another.

Gods above, he’d justturned down a date with Nerik. How the hell was he supposed to make sense of this one?

CHAPTER FOUR

Keep walking,Nerik ordered himself as he strode down the street.Go to the corner. Turn right. Go into the hospital. Talk to Gosta. Don’t think about Yorin. You asked, he said no. End of story. It’s fine. It was worth asking. You wanted an answer and now you have one. It’s fine. Just go see Gosta and get on with your next job.

Gods, that was a fierce ache, burning deep in his chest. He felt like he’d just been doused in icy water.Yorin had said no.

So. Right. After years of hoping and flirting and longing, he finally had his answer. Yorin’s lack of reply to his advances truly had been a symptom of simple disinterest.

And now, Nerik needed to damn well get over this ridiculous infatuation and move on.

He rounded the corner towards the hospital, still feeling like his limbs were on fire. And while that might have been a normal state for him in his native form, in this human shell, it was definitely something to be concerned about.

Nerik pulled off the street, ducking into a small alleyway between two shops. With just that scant bit of privacy, he leaned against the cold stone of the wall and forced himself to breathe slowly and deeply. Relax his shoulders. Let the fire inside him simmer down to a gentle crackle, rather than this sudden inferno that threatened to burst out of him.

He placed a hand on his abdomen, concentrating on the glowing coals that were the seat of his existence, his consciousness. Perhaps he should have taken Kit up on her offer of water, earlier in the day. It was a warm one, and Nerik should have known better than to let his inner fire get too hot.

Okay, he could do this. There was still one more important job to do today, and with the gate opening tomorrow, there was no possible way to put it off. He needed to get his head together and get back to work.

It made perfect sense, after all. There was no reason a successful young tailor would be interested in him. Yorin had his own business. He had reliable customers. He had young women throwing themselves at his feet. He had the warriors themselves fighting for his time to make them some of the finest clothes in Minia.