Page 96

DECLAN

Song- Empty Bench, David Kushner

I feel her big blue eyes staring at me from across the table. My heart melts looking at her, she even frowns just like her mom.

“You finished drawing?” I ask her.

I’m way out of my depth here.

She taps the pen against her cheek and pouts.

“I have. When’s Mommy coming home?”

I rub my chest.

“Soon. I promise. I’m going to get her now.”

She nods, her brain processing.

“The bad man has her.” That frown appears again.

I take a seat next to her and look at the stick people scribbles.

I point at the smallest drawing.

“Is that you? Awesome job,” I praise her.

“It’s me, you and Mommy,” she gushes.

“Can you take it to her?”

I pick up the paper and hold it out in front of us.

“Mommy said that the Queen can save herself in her story, but she needs the Prince, doesn’t she?”

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Is this the story Mommy tells you?” I whisper, trying to stop my voice from breaking.

“Yea. You’ll have to get her to tell you. It’s the best story. But I make her change the ending so the prince saves her from the bad man, and they live happily ever after with their princess.”

She snuggles up against my side, and I close my eyes, resting my head on top of hers.

“The Queen is the strongest woman on the planet, the Prince just needs to help her win, that’s all. Not saving, just protecting her so she can be the powerful woman she is.”

She nods against my arm and her fingers trace the tattoos on my hands as she lets out a yawn.

“You have no color on your tattoos? None of them?”

I shake my head and roll up my sleeves to show her more.

“Nope. No color in my life.”

Well, until she and her mom arrived.

Fuck, I miss her more than anything in the world right now. She should be the one sitting here, not me.

I cannot do this without her.

“But we all need color in our life,” Isabella says softly.

“That we do, Princess. Want to add some to mine?”

The smile that lights up her face makes me want to permanently get whatever drawings she picks inked into my skin.

I can’t fucking do this without Charlotte.

I want to hate her for this, but I can’t. Not when I saw the pain in her eyes.

That silent plea will haunt me forever.

I promised to break her, to ruin her, when all along that was never what I truly wanted.

I am alive because of her, but I’ve never felt more dead inside without her.

I watch silently as Isabella makes the skull pink and draws some new flowers.

“Show Mommy this. She loves flowers.”

I stroke her hair.

“I know she does.”

I can’t even look at her. I feel awful, but all I see is Charlotte, and it’s like I’ve been stabbed through the heart.

“Maybe I’ll add some color just like you’ve drawn; I’ll get it tattooed on. To represent what you’ve added to my life, baby girl.”

She grins at me and my heart explodes.

I’ll tattoo anything she draws on me if it means she smiles like that at me.

I turn away and wipe my tears.

I cuddle my daughter tight. I never want to let her go, not now that I have her.

“I love you,” I whisper.

Guilt sits in my chest, suffocating me.

I never told Charlotte I love her. Even though I do, with all my damn heart.

Five years I spent hating her, when actually, I simply wanted her to heal those shattered pieces inside me. To just love me and remind me that I’m not a monster.

To look at me how she did in Italy.

I made her a promise to protect Isabella with my life, I’ll honor that.

She needs her mom.

We both do.

“I’ll be back soon, okay. I promise. Daddy is never leaving you.”

“Okay, Daddy,” she chirps.

That gives me a new sense of determination to give her the life she deserves.

Closing the door softly behind me, I head out to the rest of the guys loading up the trucks.

“We good to go?” I ask, checking my Rolex.

“You’re with me, bro.” Conan hits the hood of the all-black Bugatti with his palm.

“And Finn?” I question.

I need both of my brothers nearby. They’re the two I truly trust with my fucking life.

“I’ll be in the first truck behind. I’ve brought medical supplies, just in case,” he tells me softly, and secures his flat cap.

“Enzo has already set the Bugatti up with the navigation to the tracker, we’re good to go.” Conan taps the metal before hopping in.

I do the same, and the engine roars to life.

“Let me guess, you’ll be purchasing one of these to add to your collection?” I ask him.

My head almost hits the dash as he flies out of the driveway.

“Fuck. Yes. I’ll get ten.”

“Just watch out for ice,” I tell him, keeping my eyes on the road.

“We got enough weapons in this thing?”

“Yeah, it’s got a Frunk. I filled it with some goodies. Don’t worry.”

“A what?” I shake my head.

“Front trunk. Come on, brother. Get your head back.”

I shoot him a look, and a laugh escapes me when I see his cheeky grin.

No matter what the situation, even when it feels like my entire life is falling to pieces, I can always rely on Conan to lighten the mood.

Even if it’s for a few seconds.

“I can feel it in my gut, Dec. We’re gonna storm in there, get your girl, and kill that motherfucker. I know it. He’s played his game. Now it’s our turn.”

I hope he’s right.

“Let’s hope.”

A seriousness washes over his face, and he looks at me.

“We got Dad watching over us; we will be just fine.”

Rubbing my hands over my face, I know I can’t lose her.

That heartache will be the end of me.

“Well, foot to the floor, brother. Get me to her.”