Page 31 of Indulging Temptation (Tempting the Heart #1)

“Spill.”

Rolling my eyes, knowing that I need to before she grills me.

“Nothing, it’s just that Tino had a shipment of candles come into the restaurant the other day from Judith Lynne’s.”

“The place that does custom scents?” The sparkle in her eyes tells me she already knows where this is going.

“Yes. That one.” I keep my tone neutral, preemptively downplaying what I’m about to say. “I didn’t think anything of it at first but when I was sitting at dinner, I noticed that all the tables had a candle on them and…”

Sarina interrupts me. “Okay, let me guess. Did it smell like vanilla and jasmine with a hint of coconut?”

I nod. Surprised she guessed correctly. “How’d you know?”

“That the candles were your exact signature fragrance?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Umm, it’s from Judith Lynne’s. They are known for their custom scents, and Santino wants your custom scent all over him.” She winks. “And his restaurant apparently.”

Her fist tightens as it pounds onto the tabletop.

This poor table, Sarina has put it through the wringer these past few minutes alone.

“This man just keeps getting better. Not only can he cook, but he also gets on his knees and goes to town slurping up all that pretty pussy of yours has to feed him, and he has candles in his restaurant made to smell like you? Marry him. Lock him down and throw away the goddamn key. He’s a keeper. ”

“Jesus Christ, Sarina.” I giggle, but she’s right.

I know Tino’s a keeper, and that’s what scares me.

I meant what I said to him before I left and came here.

It’s not that simple. Granted, I also left him with the hope and very real possibility that we can engage in a friends with benefits relationship.

But where do we go from there? I’m sure the sex will be amazing, but we’ll be sneaking around, trying to keep it from my brother, and all our friends and family, for that matter, and for what?

So, we can endlessly fuck, but not admit that we are, while expecting to remain neutral with our feelings the whole time?

I want nothing more than to experience what I did with Tino tonight repeatedly. But I’m afraid that it will get complicated and one of us will get hurt, and there will be no coming back from that. And even with knowing all that, I hate how I’m still tempted.

Not to mention Sarina’s candle analogy is still in my head, causing me to circle back to the candle bit. “You don’t think that’s creepy?” I ask knowing damn well that it’s not. If it were anyone other than Tino maybe, but from him? It’s endearing. Unexpected. Romantic.

“No, and I know you don’t either. But I know you, you’re grasping at straws. Trying to cling onto whatever you can to convince yourself that he’s a bad idea.”

“But he is,” I say, although it comes out like I am trying to convince myself, only proving her point more.

“Why, because he’s friends with your brother?

Respectfully, or disrespectfully, whichever, fuck him.

Who cares? He’s a big boy. He’ll get over it.

Tino is everything you could ever want. He’s gorgeous.

Tatted up like a walking masterpiece. He can cook…

so fucking well that after winning a competition, he’s become the damn face of the culinary world.

He not only can eat your pussy better than I’m sure anyone has, but he enjoyed it so much he came in his pants shortly after making you come.

Oh, and back to the candles, he memorized every note of your scent and decided it smelled good enough for his restaurant that’s on track to receive a Michelin Star or two – hell, who knows, maybe even three one day, with how well he’s doing.

Love you, Lo, but you need to get the fuck over yourself and let yourself have this. You deserve it.”

Once again, she’s right.

I think back to the candles. How he didn’t skimp on any detail, choosing the prettiest amber glass jars. Even the label was printed on quality paper. And then there’s the name on it. Mi cielo. My sky . And a nod to the restaurant name. All of it so well thought out. Intentional and…romantic.

“I’ll let you stay here tonight and that’s it.” She agrees, wagging her finger.

“Thank you,” I say, turning to look at the glorified closet of a room I’ll be sleeping in instead of my more than comfortable room at Tomás’.

My phone vibrates, rattling against the kitchen table.

Tino’s name flashes in front of me as I press the side button, lighting the phone screen, and my stomach does a somersault.

Sarina doesn’t question who is texting me. She goes off to grab a blanket and some pillows for the pull-out bed.

Santino: Thank you

Me: For?

Santino: Letting me make up for Miami

Me: Who said that made up for it?

Santino: I think all was forgiven when you squirted on my face, mama

A throb erupts between my legs from the combination of what reading his text and remembering what every sensation of his tongue felt like that led to me squirting on his face. Something I’ve never done before.

Me: Stop that

Santino: Which part? That you squirted on my face or me calling you mama?

Me: Both

Santino: No need to be embarrassed. I thought it was hot. There’s nothing sexier than when a woman lets go

Santino: Especially when that woman is you

Santino: And you tasted SO FUCKING GOOD

Fuck. He just said that I tasted good. No. Excuse me…and I quote, so fucking good. I’m wet all over again from reading it, imagining his deep, smooth voice saying it to me in person, whispering in my ear.

Me: Thank you

Santino: No, like I said before, thank YOU

Santino: Soo…when are we going over the basics?

Me: You mean the list I made?

Santino: Respectfully, fuck the list, Lo

Me: Hey now! What did my list ever do to you besides try to help you?

Santino: I appreciate you keeping track of everything I need to fix but I was referring to the basics of you know…

Me: No, I don’t. Tell me …

I know damn well that he’s referring to his plea for me to use him as my fuck buddy, but fuck, call me a sadist, there’s something about a man explicitly begging to be yours that has me needing to hear it on repeat.

Santino: Mama, you’re really making me beg for this aren’t you?

Me: Mhm

Santino: Fine. Let me try this again…

Santino: Lorena Juanita Ramos, you can’t see it, but I’m on my knees, begging you to tell me whatever rules, parameters, or whatever stipulations you have so that we can be on the same page, and I can get that sweet pussy to myself on demand

Fuck me, who can say no to that?

Just as I’m about to respond, my phone vibrates with another message. I immediately perk up when I see it’s a friend from college who works at a local gossip column.

Swiping out of me and Tino’s text thread, I read the new message.

Ella: Hey, sorry to bother you so late, but you’re working for Santino Amato now, right?

Me: Yes, I am

Ella: Thought so. Word travels fast in the city

Ella: Listen, I got an anonymous call about an incident that happened at his restaurant. Guy went off spilling detail after detail on him

Fucking Owen. Of course, he would do that. It has to be him. Who else would it be? I’m about to type a response, but three dots appear, and then another message.

Ella: Something about how Santino sabotaged this person in a competition years back

Okay, so Owen is out. Competition? It has to be a chef. The only one I can think of that still has it out for Tino is Luca DeStefano. But he wasn’t there tonight, so how the hell would he know? And why does Tino keep getting himself into these situations?

Ella: Usually, info like this mixed with Santino’s status and his impulsive reputation would be an easy headliner on our column, but because I know you and you’re working for him, I decided not to proceed with it

Me: Thank you. I appreciate that

Ella: No problem, but if he sees I didn’t run the story, there’s no telling what other papers or news outlets he will try. I have connections but not as many as you to stop it

Me: Got it. I appreciate you. I’m on it

Ella: Of course. Good luck with him. He’s an amazing talent but most certainly lives up to that hothead persona

Me: Thanks

I’m going to need it.

Great, so much for rest, I’m going to have to work through the night, utilizing my resources and connections to make sure that tonight's outburst doesn’t set him back more.

Swiping back to me and Tino’s text thread, I’m readying myself to get back into publicist mode, so I can do damage control, but all I can focus on instead is the rows of question marks he texted followed by a voice message.

Butterflies swarm my stomach; my heart feels like it is beating and stalling all within the same breath as I press play and am met with his smooth baritone in my ear.

“I hate these voice memo things. It feels like I’m rambling and talking to myself but since you’re not texting me back, and I know how much you despise phone calls that aren’t work related – so weird by the way – I figured this would be my best bet.

I know that you’re probably still mad at me for the scene I made at the restaurant tonight.

And for that, I’m sorry. It was never my intention to make your job more difficult, but Lorena, do you know how difficult you’re making it for me, as your client or boss or whatever I am in this dynamic we’re in, not to mention as your brother’s best friend, to sit back and watch someone that isn’t me with you? In my restaurant, of all places?

And to think that you were wearing that vibrator for him to use. Oh my god, it’s driving me insane just thinking about it.

Fuck. I don’t even know exactly what I’m trying to say right now.

My thoughts feel so jumbled. I know what we did out back, behind the restaurant was wrong, but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want to do it again.

I can’t stop thinking about how wet you were for me, and how sweet and slippery you were on my tongue.

I’m getting fucking hard talking about it.

My god, you’re so fucking perfect.

Too perfect.

Even for me.

But especially for that asshole, Owen.

The restraint I showed tonight, I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of showing again. He’s lucky I didn’t slam his head through the table for not only being with you where my eyes were forced to see, but for disrespecting you, calling you things that I know you’d never want, sexually or otherwise.

I’m sorry again for what I did tonight in the restaurant. But I’m not sorry for doing what I did outside of it, or how I made you feel when we were alone.

You have no idea how long I’ve wanted a taste of you.

I would have settled for a kiss, but that perfect pussy of yours?

Lorena, I’m still salivating from how good you taste.

It makes me never want to brush my teeth or eat or drink anything again, just in case I don’t get another chance to devour you.

Which leads me to my last point of this ramble that you didn’t ask for, but you’re getting anyway.

I need to have you squirming on my tongue again.

I need to have you anyway I can have you, to make sure that, if nothing else, your needs are met by someone who will treat you like the queen you are even if you don’t want more than the physical.

Let me be that for you. If you need someone to use for your pleasure, please, make it me.

And for the love of whatever is up there, can you confirm with a yes?

And lay your every rule on me. If we’re doing this, I promise we’re doing it your way. Tell me what you need, and you got it, mama. ”

The voice memo ends and the keep option appears beneath it. Instinct kicks in, and even though I already know there isn’t one word he said that I’d forget, I tap to save it to my phone.

I stand still, replaying bits and pieces of what he said in my head.

It isn’t until Sarina is standing in front of me with a grin a mile long on her face that I snap out of it, realizing she likely heard Tino’s message.

“Uh oh.” She marvels, handing me a pair of spare pajamas I can borrow. “Looks like you found yourself a new current fuck. Guess his contact name will be changed to Current Fuck Chef Daddy?” Sarina jokes, but I feel a sinking sensation fill my stomach, because yes, I have.

Problem is this arrangement isn’t only complicated because of our work and living situation, it’s complicated because I know deep down Tino is settling.

Unlike me, Tino believes in love and relationships and all that comes with having strings very much attached. Something I’ve never wanted. But hearing Tino beg for me to use him, just so he can be sure I’m being treated with care has me second guessing everything.

Maybe, if life didn’t break me, I’d be willing to make room for him in my heart.

Maybe then, I’d let the strings to attach and allow myself to become attached to someone as perfect as Tino.

Maybe, just maybe, then, I’d allow myself to be happy and feel like the risks associated with letting someone in are worth the fall. Even if someday, it’ll have to come to an end.