Page 10 of Incurably Cupid (Moonhaven Cove #5)

Chapter 10

Mesmer

“Love respects boundaries. It even encourages them.”

Cupid Inc. New Recruit Training Manual

I woke to a hand clamping over my mouth. Instinct surged through me, and I reached for my dagger.

“It’s me,” Indie whispered. “Try not to kill me, please.”

She lifted her palm, and I pushed up onto my elbows, my abs and back protesting the movement. But I ignored the discomfort the second I saw her face. She knelt beside my bed like an irate parrot, her eyes sharp and furious as she glared toward the rest of the house.

“What’s going on?”

"Someone just bypassed all of Leo’s locks and failsafes and broke into my home," she seethed. "I’m going to make them wish they had let me get a full night’s sleep. I need you as a witness to tell the police that whatever happens next was self-defense."

“I’ll come with you.” Anything to help my cupid avoid time in prison.

She helped me sit fully up, and Lance moved close to the bed so I could transfer. I unstrapped the gun hidden beneath my bedside table, slid in a magazine, and flicked the safety off.

“Lance, get closer to the door,” I whispered.

From the direction of the kitchen came a series of clattering noises—whoever this was, they were either a terrible thief or completely unconcerned with being caught.

I cracked the door open. Pitch darkness swallowed the house. I couldn’t see a thing. Indie, of course, slid past my wheelchair before I could stop her. I hissed her name, but she was already out of sight.

Lance moved me forward just as a loud clang rang through the house, followed by the heavy thud of a body hitting the floor.

Leo turned on the kitchen light, illuminating the scene.

We all had different reactions.

Indie, triumphant: "He’s definitely here for you."

Leo, incredulous: "He was in special forces, and you just knocked him out with a candy bowl!"

Me, stunned: "Dante?"

Because the unconscious paranormal sprawled on the kitchen floor was none other than my second-in-command from the Leto Villa.

He was supposed to be at the villa.

He was not supposed to be in Devotion.

Indie held up the opalescent purple candy bowl she’d used to incapacitate him, turning it over in her hands. "I mean, it was a sturdy candy bowl. Didn’t even crack when I used it on his head."

“Congratulations on your formidable confectionery bowl," I deadpanned. "Can we focus on the knocked-out paranormal in your kitchen, please?”

Indie sighed. “If we must. I can’t lift him, and you shouldn’t lift him, so what do we do with his body?”

“Do you have to say it that way?” Leo whined.

“Sorry, Leo.” Indie finally put the candy bowl down. “Clearly, my house needs more of these. Candy can save your life!”

“Every physician and dentist would disagree with that statement,” Leo muttered. “Indie, can you drag him to the couch?”

“Nope!”

“You didn’t even try!”

Indie huffed. “Have your sensors malfunctioned? This guy is almost as big as Mesmer, and, no offense, Mesmer, but you’re at least two hundred and fifty pounds of solid muscle. I would never be able to lift this guy.”

Leo sighed. “At least get him a pillow or something. He’s Mesmer’s guy, which means he probably wasn’t trying to kill us.”

“I can vouch for that, but he was definitely not supposed to be here. Indie, can you search his pockets?”

Dante, dressed in a dark gray leather jacket, jeans, and a tee shirt, had plenty of places to stash things. Indie, utterly unbothered, patted him down and pulled a wallet, keys, several knives, and a gun from various hiding spots.

“Put those in another room, Indie. Just in case.”

“Just in case, what?”

"If he’s being influenced by a master vampire, I don’t want him having access to weapons, and I don’t want to take any chances with your safety.”

She nodded and padded off on bare feet to stash the contraband. When she returned, she asked, "Should we tie him up?"

"Yes. Just to be safe. Do you have extra bed sheets?"

She fetched one, and I tore it into strips, giving her instructions on how to secure him properly. Once done, I kept my gun trained on him and waited.

Dante groaned as he came to. Realizing his was tied up, he let loose a colorful string of curses.

“It’s your own fault,” I calmly said. “You broke into Indie’s home, and she’s a little touchy about that.”

His head snapped toward me. "Boss? Finally! I’ve been trying to reach you for days. None of our calls or messages went through. I had to come in person."

“That’s my fault, then,” Leo said. "Since you arrived, I've been scrambling our location to protect Indie. Any tracking or listening devices won’t work around her."

I nodded. “You did a good job.”

“Maybe too-good of a job,” Dante groaned, rubbing his head.

He shifted to stand, but I cocked the pistol, and he froze. An unnatural stillness. Good. He knew I wasn’t messing around.

“I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and you’re going to answer them honestly. Indie can detect lies, so don’t lie.” I hoped that bit of cupid trivia I'd heard somewhere was actually true.

Dante slowly sat back down, all humor gone.

“How did you get onto the isle?”

“One of my great-grandmothers is a cupid. She allowed me access.”

I glanced at Indie and she nodded that it was true. She was either going along with my ruse, or she really could tell when someone was lying. I hoped it was the former.

“And how did you break into this house?”

Dante frowned. “Come on, boss. You could have broken in too. It comes with our training.”

“Leo, did he use a retinal or handprint scan?”

“No. He bypassed those,” Leo grumbled.

“Try again,” I growled.

"I have a black-market bypass device," Dante admitted. "Small. It's in a pocket sewn into the inseam of my jeans."

“Indie.”

Indie rolled her eyes. “Oh, yay, I get to stick my hand down some guy's pants I don’t even know. What a delightful night this is turning out to be,” she said as she marched over to Dante.

I maintained a blank face, but only barely. Indie sleep-deprived was more snarky and hilarious than usual.

She moved to retrieve the device.

Dante, unfortunately, decided to open his mouth. "You can put your hands on me any?—“

Clang!

Indie’s candy bowl struck again.

"Indie?"

"Yes, Mesmer?"

“Good job.”

She nodded demurely. “Thank you.”

I sighed. “He’s usually decent. I apologize.”

She patted the bowl. "Not a problem. This is actually cathartic."

I smirked. "I should buy you more candy bowls."

"That would be acceptable. Though I think his hard head finally chipped this one."

Dante groaned awake. "You could’ve just said you weren’t interested," he mumbled.

"Yeah, but this was more fun," Indie said.

I laughed. "Get up. Move to the couch. And tell me—what were you doing in the kitchen?"

"I was hungry?"

"You can’t break into someone’s house and steal their food!"

Dante shrugged. "I could’ve knocked and asked. But where’s the fun in that?"

Indie slumped into an overstuffed chair opposite Dante, while Lance rolled me so I could see the both of them. “Yeah, you can’t really use that argument, because I saw it in action not even a few days ago.”

“Mordecai?”

“Yep.”

“Yeah, I’m not so sure he wasn’t raised by rogue wolves.”

Indie pursed her lips in thought. “He likes pretty things too much to have been raised by wolves.”

I laughed, then centered my gaze on one of my best friends in the world. “I’m still not convinced I shouldn’t shoot you.”

Dante scowled at me, exasperated. “I’m trying to catch the shooter! The least you could do, holed up all cushily in the ether, is tell me what you know! I tried calling and texting, but I kept getting dead-air.”

“Again, that’s my fault," Leo's voice said from the nearest smart wall. "I’ve put up a signal around Indie so that any listening devices can’t spy on her. Anywhere Indie is, the signal follows."

“And of course they’re always together,” Dante muttered with an eye roll.

“I got shot seven times in the back. I’m lucky to be alive. And Indie has graciously been taking care of me,” I growled. “Also, you’re breaking orders by being here. King Draven doesn’t want me working right now.”

Dante snorted. “Yeah, and I’m sure you’ve been listening to him. As much as the big boss loves you, I’m sure he’d like to keep his wife alive even more.”

Indie sighed. “Leo, can you order a few pizzas, please? Stuffed crust, extra sauce on the side. One meat lovers, one Canadian bacon and pineapple,” she said, yawning. “It looks like we’re going to be a while.”

“You got it.”

When the pizza arrived, I updated Dante with what Leo and I had been able to find out, which, unfortunately, wasn’t much.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Indie said, munching on a cheesy breadstick, “but an assassin that’s so good they get in, take the shot, and get away, with none of your people even having a clue where to find them, is probably not a good thing.”

Dante grunted, finishing his bite before answering. “They were magicked to the gills, so we know they either have a wealthy backer or they make a lot of money on their own. They had a smell null on, which let them get past the shifters, and a shadow-tech suit, which made it impossible to see them unless we knew exactly where to look. They got in, took their shot, and got out without anyone seeing, smelling, or hearing a thing.”

Leo whistled. “Someone had to bankroll that. Those two items cost billions.”

“Or they stole the magic and tech from someone else,” Indie said, finishing off her soda. “Assassins aren’t well known for their moral compass. Also, what kind of plan was that? Shooting through the glass wasn’t exactly foolproof.”

I finally lowered my gun, flicked the safety back on, and set it on a nearby table. “They probably had help with that too. There are several gadgets—magical items—that allow you to see through walls. If I hadn’t been there, the King and Consort would be dead.”

Dante nodded, his face serious. “Good looking out on that one. You did good, boss.” Then he grinned. “Just try not to get shot next time. I’ve had to take care of Lady for you, and she’s been despondent without you. In fact, that’s partly why I’m here. I had to bring her. She stopped eating and she's been pretty depressed.”

I stared at Dante in alarm. “Did you leave her chained up outside?”

Indie growled at him and managed to smack the back of his head as she stalked past him out the front door. The whole room ignored the curse he threw at her. I couldn’t see her and Lady greet each other, but I could hear them.

“Lady? Oh, you’re big! Wow, you’re a big dog. Yes, hi. Yes, yes, you can probably smell him on me, huh? Let’s get you untethered. I seriously can’t believe that idiot wrapped your leash around a tree!”

“I don’t think she likes you all that much, Dante.” Which was hilarious because Dante was well-known as a flirt who dated around a lot. He was handsome, and he used his attractiveness and charm to a lethal extent. I was just glad Indie didn’t seem taken in by any of it.

I might've had to murder one of my best friends if that had been the case.

“She just hasn’t spent much time around me yet,” Dante grumbled, still rubbing his head.

I chuckled darkly. “No, I’m pretty sure she had your number the minute you opened your mouth tonight.”

Lady came bounding in through the door, her paws slipping on the hardwood as she hurried toward me. My eyes widened. My Lady was 140 pounds of fluffy-haired dog, and if she jumped on me in her excitement, I was going to hurt tomorrow.

Indie, seeing the disaster in the making from the front door, barked, “Lady! Sit!” in such a firm tone that, had I been standing, I would’ve sat in absolute obedience.

Lady tried to stop her forward momentum by putting her rear end on the floor and ended up skidding the last few feet on her bottom to my chair. I chuckled and ran my fingers lovingly through her fur.

“You’re such a good girl,” I whispered, and she panted happily, whining as she nuzzled my legs gently with her nose.

“She’s huge!” Indie said again, her eyes wide in amazement.

I nodded, trying to keep Lady’s cold nose from exploring the wounds she’d already detected by scent under my shirt. “Yeah, she’s a St. Bernard. They get pretty big. They’re really smart, as well.”

Indie knelt next to Lady and started petting her hesitantly. “Don’t the humans use this breed of dog for avalanche rescues?”

“It’s true, they do well in the snow, but I think they use a few different breeds—ones that are intelligent and have a good work ethic.”

Indie hummed in thought, then yawned as she stood. “Well, I’m heading to bed. I have a class to teach tomorrow, and I wanted to search some more for your soulmate. Leo put together a few places for me to try.”

My heart broke a little. “Thank you, Indie,” I said gravely.

She nodded. “It’s what I do.” Then she turned to my friend. “Dante, call before you come back, or I will not be held responsible for your hospital bills.” Her tone had turned icy.

Dante nodded, wide-eyed. “Yes, ma’am.”

With that, Indie spun on her heels and left us to get as much rest as possible before she had to teach in the morning.

“Mes?”

“Yep.”

“You’ve got a wild one there.”

I sat back in my wheelchair, casting a last glance at Indie’s closed door. “She’s perfect,” I said softly.