Page 48 of In the Net (Sin Bin Stories #5)
SEBASTIAN
I t’s been two days since we got back to Cedar Shade from the wedding.
Yesterday was the first day in a long, long time that Harper and I didn’t talk. We didn’t see each other. We didn’t even text.
I didn’t want to bombard her with my true feelings immediately after the wedding. I wanted to give her some space and some time to adjust, to reflect on the last two months at her own pace, to understand what her own feelings are, before running the risk of overwhelming her with my own.
I expected it to be a little tough. But I didn’t expect that just one day of experiencing what life would be like without her would make me this miserable.
I’m moping as I sit on the porch, hanging out with my roommates. I wouldn’t be surprised if I looked up and saw a cartoon drawing of a dark raincloud hanging above my head. That’s how I feel.
It’s warmer than it’s been in a while today. There’s still a sharp bite of chill in the air, but the sun is out and the temperature is high enough that it’s comfortable to get some fresh air on the porch as long as we’re all bundled up.
“Found out some interesting info about your girlfriend, Jamie,” Carter says.
Jamie turns to him with a flat and unamused look on his face. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
Carter grins cruelly. “The girl you’re hopelessly in love with, then.”
Jamie’s look only gets less impressed and more annoyed. But we all note that he doesn’t even try to deny it.
“Carmen, right?” Veikko asks. As always, our hyper-literal defenseman is never comfortable without everything being explicitly spelled out. “The mean one?”
“She’s not mean,” Jamie says.
At that, everyone laughs. Even in my shitty mood, Jamie jumping to Carmen’s defense, when she’s done nothing to warrant it, has a weak smile tugging on my lips.
“Right, she’s just misunderstood , huh?” Felix teases.
Jamie rolls his eyes.
There’s a couple beats of silence as Carter looks archly at Jamie, knowing that the poor besotted guy won’t be able to resist asking what this information is.
“What did you learn, Carter?” Jamie finally asks, the sighing tone of his voice like an admission of defeat.
“She’s Cindy’s niece,” Carter answers.
Damn. My eyebrows bounce with interest at that little morsel of knowledge. Cindy, the owner of Last Word where Carmen works, is one of the bubbliest, friendliest people I’ve ever met. Clearly, her personality type isn’t a universal family trait.
I tune out the rest of the guys’ conversation, though. I can’t shake off this shitty mood. If this is what one day without Harper is like, then …
A shudder of sadness runs through my body. I don’t even want to finish that thought.
Something turns in my head, a realization clicking into place. A realization, and a determination.
Fuck this. Fuck waiting.
I know how I feel. I know exactly how I feel. It’s stupid for me to delay making sure Harper knows, too.
Even if she doesn’t want to be with me after the need for our fake relationship has expired, and the thought alone makes my heart feel like it’s in shreds, it’s better to pull the Band-Aid off quick rather than lingering in this state.
The rest of the guys stand up to go back in the house. I push myself to my feet, too, but I have another destination in mind.
“You coming in, Sebastian?” Jamie asks from the open doorway after the other guys pile inside.
I shake my head. “Nope. I’ve got something to do.”
Jamie shrugs and closes the door behind him. With a deep breath, I step down from the porch and set off to Harper’s place.
I’m going to tell her exactly how I feel. And damn it, I’m not going to mince words.