Page 36 of In The Dark

The guilt lining his features is palpable as he paces, and quick breaths escape me as I realize that heistelling the truth. Oh gods, I find myself suddenly believing the words tumbling from him as he continues his explanation.

“We tracked you to Alvonia, and I stopped at the Silver Lily to plan the mission. Little did I know you would show up right to my door. Luckily for me, Helga didn’t know who I was, so your regular killing didn’t go as planned. I was at the Silver Lily when you arrived with Ezra and Ren and knew it would be hard to get you alone after seeing you arrive, so I left you that note. Ionly hoped you would check the table. It’s been a long twenty years, and so much has happened since they took you.” He glances at me, hope sparking in his eyes. “But I’m here now, and I want to take you home. Please come home with me.”

“I don’t remember you,” I get out, not quite ready to give up what I’ve called home for the past twenty years. Because that’s what it is, home, and I hate that I still feel this way.Why do I feel this way?

“I know, and I’m sorry I failed you. You and your mother,” he mutters. It’s clear that he’s tired of searching for me after so many years. Yet they were sending me to kill his men. I killed his men.

Ourmen, and… oh gods.

My stomach churns. I’m going to be sick.

I whirl around, bracing myself against the tree with my hand, and vomit, overwhelmed by the information and realization of what King Elion had me doing all these years. Using me to erase his past—my family—while mocking me.

This is the true punishment.

I’m bent over, wiping my face with the back of my hand. Rydian strides to me, attempting to rest his hand on my lower back, but I swat it away.

“Don’t touch me,” I croak, straightening to look at him just as my eyes flare.

I’m suddenly feeling nauseous again, the realization of being a princess of Aurelia sweeping in, stealing my breath. Dread seeps through, my stomach sinking and coating my entire body like ice in my veins. I can’t breathe. A princess of Aurelia?

And the king of Aurelia has been tracking me to take me home, to claim the realm as my own for the past twenty years. Oh gods, I’m definitely going to be sick again. The color drains from my face, my breaths quick as saliva coats my tongue.

“I’m—I’m a princess,” I get out.

His eyes widen as he realizes where my thoughts have gone. “Yes… you are, but nothing needs to happen yet. I’m only here to bring you back, that’s all.”

My hand settles on my stomach as I close my eyes, trying to force down the bile that’s rising again, and take a few deep breaths. The memories, the confusion—it’s too much. I’m unsure if that’s something I evenwant. I’m no princess, and I’m definitely not a queen.

Silence stretches as my thoughts continue to whirl. He’s here to bring me back to Aurelia, but what if I don’t want to go? Would he let me stay if I asked? But then again…doI want to stay in Elderheim?

It’s been my home here for the last twenty years, but I’ve always felt like there’s more to life than serving King Elion. Yet my father is dead and my mother… well, she’s most likely dead too after what I saw in Rydian’s memories. So what I have now is a duty to rule Aurelia? It’s a responsibility I’m not sure I want.

“And what if… what if I don’t want it?” I mumble.

His jaw clenches slightly. “We can discuss it later?—”

“Isa!” Our conversation is cut short by a guttural shout of my name. We exchange a glance, panic swiftly crossing our faces.

“Ren,” I whisper, realizing whose voice that is.

How is that possible?I slipped him the sleeping tonic in his drink earlier, but it’s only been a few hours. He should still be asleep. Glancing over my shoulder, I hear him coming up the road and my breathing picks up. Panic thrums in my veins.

After knowing the truth, I realize that Ren must have been a really good liar all these years if he possibly knows where I’m from, but there’s no sure way to know, and I don’t want to be near him right now.

“Isa.” Rydian’s voice is a quiet, urgent shout now, trying to snap me out of my thoughts. I’m still glancing over my shoulder when he suddenly grabs my hand, pulling me deeper into the shadows of the trees. “Look at me,” he whispers, gripping myface and forcing me to meet his gaze. “You need to slow your breathing, do you understand?”

I nod, struggling to focus, but the fear of Ren arriving gnaws at me—he’s almost here. Rydian quickly puts his hand into my cloak and pulls out the sleeping draft, then tosses it further into the forest. He’s hiding the evidence.How did he know that was there?

Ren’s voice calls out in the distance. “Isa! I went searching for you at the Cauldron, but you weren’t there.” He’s closer now and tracking me somehow, and a sharp pain shoots up my wrist.

Rydian’s eyes shift behind me and then lock on to mine again. “Listen to me, we can’t run right now. You need to finish your mission, and if he sees me in this form, he will know exactly who I am. We don’t know who the Siphon is, but Ren saw me when you were ten. He knows I’m here for you. This isn’t what I had planned, but this is what we’re going to do. I’m going to shift into someone else and pretend to be Alec Thorne.” He pauses briefly, his voice steady but firm. “You’re going to kill me again. Do you understand?”

“What—no!” My shock cuts through the air.

“You have to. You can’t kill me, remember?” He throws me a menacing grin, and I grit my teeth.

“It’s Ren. I’m sure he’ll sniff it out and find a way to make it happen. I know him. Don’t do this.”