Page 29

“I’m sorry.”
For the first time in twenty-eight years, I was about to cry.
“The car is ready.”
It was harder to look at her for the last time than I thought it would be.
“Okay.”
Being a cartel leader means I can’t have her because I love her. We are the bad guys, so we don’t get a happy ending. The house was getting farther and farther away until I couldn’t see it anymore. She could finally live the life she deserves without me. My life would never be the same, and it shouldn’t be, especially after having her.
“You did the right thing.”
“She’ll hate me.” I leaned back in my seat and let the cold air touch my skin. “More.”
“She’s going to hate both of us.”
“Caleb, you’re a good friend,” I said.
Caleb didn’t say anything; he just kept looking at the road. Caleb wasn’t just leaving Aria; he was also leaving his child. He saw how dangerous our world can be after his sister died. He would rather his child grow up without a father than be in danger every five seconds.
I have always been a sick man. I saw how my dad treated my mom and how it hurt her mentally and physically. I don’t want to put her through that, and I don’t want to be like my dad either.
I remembered things about Aria. When I first met her, she was wearing a white dress and her hair was wavy and messy. She looked beautiful. I first saw her green eyes, then her warm smile. The first time I saw her, she looked so beautiful in her pyjama shorts as she walked through my office. I remember how her fingers traced the pattern on the wall that my mother picked out so long ago.
“Florida?” Caleb says.
I look out my window. It was nice to see the sun start to set.
“Florida it is.”
Four years later
Sebastian left me in that empty house four years ago, and I was heartbroken and alone.
It’s been four years since I lost my baby. Being pregnant was a blessing, but it went away just as quickly as it came. The baby that Sebastian and I had was stillborn. I hated Sebastian Devereux right away when I saw my baby. I hate him more than anything. After that, life was hard. I thought it was my fault too. Maybe my baby would still be alive if I hadn’t mourned Maya’s death so much.
My mum and dad were always there for me and supported everything I did. I learnt to like my mum and dad more.
My housekeeper said, “Mrs. Benorik, you have a guest.”
“Thanks, Alex.” I smiled.
Three years ago, I married Henry. Those have been the best three years of my life. Henry is so special and caring that loving him is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Henry was okay with my baby from the start. When he found out that our baby was born dead, he was horrified and broken. He felt everything I felt.
I fell in love with him right away, and seeing how much he cared for our baby and me made me love him even more. As I walked down our long staircase, my heels clicked on the cold tile.
“Well, don’t you look beautiful?” Naomi says with a smirk. Her beautiful red hair falls naturally over her shoulder.
“Isn’t this a nice surprise?” I laugh and give her a big, loving hug. Naomi and her husband now live nearby. I put my hand on her growing belly, and when she kicked, my hand bumped a little against my other hand. My face lit up with interest; this baby really likes me.
“She’s been kicking a lot lately,” Naomi says as she rubs her belly.
Seeing pregnant women or kids in general hurts, of course. I wanted that, I wanted my baby and everything that came with it. Maybe that’s why I hate Sebastian so much; I hate him for not staying and being there for me. Without his help, I had to go through this awful thing. It was his child. Naomi saw that I was zoning out and put her soft hand on my shoulder.
“Let’s go shopping; I want to spoil my godchild today.” I clapped my hands together in excitement.
Naomi says, “If you say so,” and then she wobbles out the front door. I quickly grabbed my purse and met her in the car.
Maria and my dad are going to have their first child together. It was hard on my mom because my dad was going to leave Maria for my mom, but a child changes everything. My mom was sad, but she knew there was nothing she could do. For the last four years, Mom has cried every night, but not for Sebastian. She cried for my dad.
Isn’t it strange how love works? My mom clearly didn’t love Sebastian. She cared about him, but not like she does my dad. Henry and I live with my mom, and Henry was very happy to have her. Mom is now a preschool teacher, which is something she’s always wanted to do. He said that Dad and Maria haven’t really been around because he has to stay low until their baby is born. That makes sense, because if other cartels found out about the youngest Callahan, they would kill him or her right away.
Naomi turns on the radio and says, “I’ve never seen you happier, Aria.” I thought about what she said, and I have to be happy. What’s the point of living if you can’t be happy?
“Why not? Henry is great,” I said.
“It’s crazy to see you now and think about where you were four years ago, both mentally and physically.”
“I know.”
Naomi seemed happy to be around baby clothes and things. Seeing Naomi pull out some clothes and pretend her baby could see them made me think of my dead son.  My baby’s name is Miguel Devereux. Miguel was named after my grandpa, Miguel Callahan. Sebastian didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to have my kids’ last name, but he was still Miguel’s dad, and I wouldn’t have taken that away. I wanted a girl at first, but when the doctor told me Miguel was a boy, I was happy and didn’t say anything.
Naomi asked, “This is cute, right?” I was so happy when I held up a pink tutu and a long-sleeved fluffy shirt.
“Very.” I laughed.
When Naomi asked me to be the godmother, I was so happy that I would get to be a mother to someone.
Naomi said, “Josh’s little brother got our daughter a little sheep outfit. It’s so cute.” Her husband’s name is Josh. Josh is a great guy who loves Naomi very much. He and Henry get along very well.
“Tell him to stop trying to beat me; I’m going to be her favourite.” I said this while kissing Naomi’s belly. Naomi smiled and rolled her eyes in a funny way.
As I walked next to her, Naomi wobbled to the next store. When I walked into the store, I remembered that this was the first place I bought baby things after I found out I was pregnant. I remember this store so well from when I was 34 weeks pregnant and happy. It has changed since then.
I turned around and saw Naomi trying to run with baby clothes in her hand. Why did she look like she had just seen a ghost? It’s really funny to see her have trouble. Before Naomi got to me, I laughed a little.
“You know what? This store isn’t for me.”
That’s when I saw Nina. There was a little girl running around her legs while she was behind a rack of clothes. She looks a lot like Maya and a little like Caleb, but not at all like Nina. When Nina saw me, a sad smile spread across her face. Was that pity? Or smallness? Nina came out from behind the rack, and I was shocked to see how big and round her stomach was. Nina wobbles over to me with the little girl right next to her. I didn’t know what to do; I really wanted to run away and hide in a corner. I heard Naomi clear her throat, which was weird, and it made it even more weird that she did that.